Think Big

//Think Big//



That was our (as in me, terence and cheng) priceless gift for Jeremy for his commissioning parade.

It sure attracted a lot of attention when we transported it from Marina Square all the way to Bishan and subsequently to Safti.

But yea, THINK BIG! MAKE IT HAPPEN! (that's the quote after 'Think Big' but it's not captured in this photo).

And I did. I actually did something today that I never thought I would ever dare try. And surprisely, it didn't go too badly. Not that I harbour any hope of advancing, but I really thought it would be much worse. At least now I know how it feels like, and I'm just very very glad that I achieve my goal of not screwing up totally.

On a different note, I think we all have our own breaking point, where you just give up pretending to be fine with things and just let it all out, and what happened last fri really pushed a lot of my platoon mates close to that point. I have never seen some of them so agitated, irritated, annoyed and most importantly, bitch non stop for so long.

And I love how we were all like "GO!!! QUICKLY CHANGE AND GO BEFORE THEY MAKE YOU DO SAIGANG!" to every single one who is changing into bookout attire cause they were given permission to book out earlier. To quote chin slut, "better one less person suffering than we all suffer tgt."

Weddings

//Weddings//

I don't like wedding dinner/lunch.

Especially weddings of relatives you hardly know. I just went for my cousin's wedding lunch last monday and it just reaffirm my dislike for wedding dinners and lunch and whatsoever.

I mean I show up, I see all my relatives that I don't really know, and we pretend to show a lot of interests in each other's life. How nice is that. Ok, maybe I shouldn't say we pretend to care about each other, maybe they do care, and perhaps I really do care too, but seriously our so called 'care for each other' will only last for that few hours or so.

And yes, I know my parents are right, I should probably try a little harder to maintain a relationship, especially with my cousins around my age, but I am a firm believer that if we don't click, we just don't. I mean with most of them, it's like we live in totally different worlds, and if you wanna look at it from a signaller pov, it's like 2 people trying very hard to press the PTT button and establishing comms with each other, but the frequency is different, so no matter how hard one tries, no comms will be through, not even any form of interference or noise.

Anyway back to wedding, I mean it's really sweet that 2 people wanna commit to each other and spend the rest of their lives with each other, but is there really a need to spend so much on a wedding? It feels as though most people are just going through the motion of it all.

To be honest, I haven't really been to a wedding where the bride and groom looks truly happy. I mean I don't know, but to me, it's often a lot of forced smiles and laughter. I mean maybe I'm a cynic, but can you imagine having to put a smile on your face the entire night, going from table to table to take photographs with all your guests (most of which you may not even know) then at the end of it, stand there and shake hands with everyone? Sounds more like a chore to me.

Watched "27 Dresses" lately, which is about wedding, in a way, bridesmaid to be exact. It's actually quite an enjoyable watch, a feel-good movie I would say. Cliche, totally predictable, but still it makes you feel good.

On a seperate note, I went back to school today!

I was there to get my certs certified true, and I was waiting to pass meng his phone so I had about 1 hour plus to kill.

It's always so so nice to be walking around in that compound, everything is so familiar, almost like I never left. And I even went back to all my classrooms from sec 1 to 4...too bad they were mostly locked, but I did manage to get into the 4A classroom in the clock tower. It just feels so...liberating, to be back in a familiar place, especially on a beautiful friday afternoon (when I'm usually in camp). It's a wonder how simple infrastructure, buildings, places can bring back so much memories. Almost every single inch of the school that I walked by today brought a scene or two that's deepyl etched in my mind.

The school's pretty empty since it's the school holidays but there's always students around, and I have this strong urge to go up to them, and tell them to have fun, to really really enjoy their time in the school, and to just treasure every single moment, cause it's probably one of the best times of my life.

And chinese high's really beautiful, not that I never realised this before. I was so pissed that I didn't bring my camera phone along today, especially when I'm staring out from the balcony in the clock tower. But nevermind, I had some photos of the school taken by zhiqun when he came over to singapore for tip in 06...

You know, there's so much I wanna say, and now is just one of those times where words fail me, I'm completely at a loss of words. It's just amazing, and it's totally different from going back to school to collect a lvl results, or for maf or whatsoever, where there's so many people and so on. Today's just another quiet day in hwa chong, and it's just as beautiful as ever.

This trip back to school really kind of revitalised me in a major way, especially considering the crappy past few weeks I had. And it's nice to just look back on the life I had, especially since I've been so so caught up with my future lately with all the uni and scholarship application and what nots. It's like a breather I guess. I'm just so glad i went back.


It's beautiful isn't it? And mind you, it's a photograph taken by zhiqun, not some photoshop-edited photos koped from the official website.


Looking down from level 2 of the clock tower...


There are times where your camera fails you, and this is one of the instance. The view at the balcony from the clock tower is really quite spectacular but there's only so much the camera can capture...


Si Yuan Fang...

Really Random Entry

//Really Random Entry//

Just some random thoughts that popped into my mind recently...

I realised it's much easier to write about negative things than positive ones...ask me to bash my unit, I can basically just vomit out everything...ask me to write about some positive qualities of myself for my personal statement, I'm totally stuck.

Speaking of personal statement, it's taking up WAY too much of my precious weekend time.

And yes, my unit, "XXXX, where shit happens everyday!" (where XXXX = name of my unit), that's the new motto my platoon mate came up for my unit. How apt.

Prom!! Not my prom of course, but facebook is totally flooded with prom photos for this year... my prom seems so so distant...

And end of prom = enlistment for my juniors coming really soon (for those in ptp tt is)...which also means my 1 year enlistment anniversary/1 year to ORD is coming real soon too...gonna celebrate with a watermelon soya bean from Mr Bean and an apple pie from MacDonalds when I booked out for my BTT on 15th dec...

Can't wait to see the emo facebook's status/msn nicks of my juniors after they enlist..haha...I feel so evil...22/24 more months for them! hahahah...

And I wanna go for a holiday so bad! And the new season of Heroes is so bad!

Tolerance Level

//Tolerance Level//

I actually have a personal statement for ucas to work on, but this is something that has been bugging me for the past 2 weeks...so the personal statement..shall wait.

I always thought I'm a pretty tolerant person. I admit I do get annoyed easily but I do believe I always managed to keep it to myself, and more often than not, resolve issues internally.

Well, that was till I came to where I am right now.

You would think that in the organisation that I'm in right now, with all the nonsense going on, one would feel numb after a while, but apparently not. Almost 1 year in, instead of getting used to the life of a national slave, I find myself getting more and more annoyed with it. And yes, I get annoyed very very easily nowadays too, and it's not hard to imagine why given the nonsense we have to endure. If even someone as zen and as calm as joshua cannot take it, I cannot even imagine how some of my platoon mates or me for that matter of fact got through it. They basically just pushed me right past my tolerance threshold and a lot of times, I just feel like inflicting physical harm on certain people.

Yes, bitching and whinning helped, but all that does for us is just to allow us to vent our frustrations together because at the end of the day the negativity aura is still so strong and it's still there.

So yes, I resorted to eating. Ok, maybe that's probably too mild a word. Gorging on food seems more appropriate. At least I feel like there's still something good in life (in there that is) when I'm gorging on food.

And the worst part is I'm not even talking about the physical stuff they made us do. Like having 7 SOCs in 12 days (or 10 SOCs in fact, since we basically did 4 x SOC today during RT), and all the AGR, strength training, speed training, coy PT etc.

All those stuff, I can understand why we are doing it, and at the end of the day, we do gain from it, though I have to say it can get rather inhumane at times (like 4 SOC trainings in 1 week?!).

I'm talking about nonsensical stuff that we were made to do thanks to the total incapabilities of certain individuals, which I won't even bother to elaborate because it just makes me feel even more sad.

And yes, some of the nonsensical stuff we were made to do may seem trivial to some and not really a big deal, but what's upsetting me the most is that there seems to be no end. History just keeps repeating itself, and nonsense just happens on a regular basis. It's almost like nonsense is part and parcel of my life in that shit hole right now. When there's finally time for some rest, shit will happen without fail. Like terence said, we are pawns afterall.

It has gotten to a point, where I just stop wishing and hoping. There's no need to wish for anything or hope that life will get better, cause it just won't. They have drained all the optimism I have left in me in the past 2 weeks.

There's no point saying 'hang in there' or 'i'll survive!' cause I know I won't die in there, I'll just be annoyed to no end and live miserably for my remaining 380 days.

3 Shooting Stars, 6 Kangaroos, 1 Wonderful Platoon

//3 Shooting Stars, 6 Kangaroos, 1 Wonderful Platoon//

Ok, that's a disgusting title.

I wanted to blog about my experience in australia, but I just couldn't overcome the inertia to actually do something about it, which is kind of the story of my life. I'm simply too lazy to start to do anything.

But seeing that I've nothing to do now, and I'm sitting in front of my comp, so why not? Just a little on my 20+ days there.

I remember someone asked us what have we learnt from the trip so far (while we were still there that is), and I remember I answered "nothing much actually" then. And now that it's over, I guess the answer is still the same.

I mean honestly speaking, I really don't think I've made any amazing discoveries about myself through this trip, other than the fact that I can eat 3 green packs (+ 1 dessert pack) for dinner (yes, even I'm amazed, but you must take into account I didn't eat lunch that day), and that 'Red Bean Dumpling [with chicken]' is probably the best green pack.

Hardly ground-breaking or earth-shattering discoveries in my opinion.

Maybe the training did not push me to my physical and mental limits, although I do have to admit certain walks are definitely tiring, but thinking back, I think we've all been through worst..so yea. And manning comms in the ever so bumpy and noisy jambu is definitely no joke, but I'm still not deaf yet, so I guess it wasn't that bad. I mean even the idiotic behaviour by certain individuals didn't drive me totally insane.

But I guess the main reason why I coped pretty well with everything is cause of my platoon mates.

So we grit teeth, we roll eyes, we bitch stared but we'll never depart. :]
- yap chin slut

I think that pretty much summed up everything.

Even in the worst situations, faced with the worst people we can possibly meet, they always somehow manage to make me feel not so crappy about it. I guess standing together, bitching about the situation, mocking certain individuals, while silently pushing each other on does help a lot.

So if you asked me what I remember about my days there, I would probably say I remember the 3 shooting stars I saw, the 6 wild kangaroos I saw, the starry starry night sky we see every night while manning comms, the long cold night..especially the night where it dropped to 7 degrees and me, kian hong and chi weng were literally cooking noodles and making hot drinks throughout our shift to keep ourselves warm and occupied, and most importantly I remember how we got through this whole 20+ days together.

Of course there's the RnR, which there isn't actually much to talk about, since it was so boring that cam whoring became our main source of entertainment.

On a separate note, those that I've been talking to recently would probably know that I'm kind of in a 'lost' mode with regards to my education choices (which in a way is linked to what I want in life in general), be it choice of university, course or even country, which is what inspired my last entry.

Well, I sort of had an epiphany yesterday. And no, I didn't gain enlightenment under a tree or through meditation or what. It's actually something my mum said (not to me, she was actually talking to my aunts) that ignite something in me that I thought died a while ago.

And no, it doesn't really help me with my decision over my course and university and so on, but at least now I feel like the direction is clearer, I know what I want long term.

Or at least I think I know, because who knows what I will want in 5 years or 1o years time. But the problem is what I want, is kind of in direct conflict with my main few choices of courses in university right now.

Well, but at least there's a starting point for me to work on now, and mingwei is right, I need to start with what I want in the long run in order to decide what I want to study right now.

Ok..enough with that. I'm finally started with the whole 'get-a-civilian-driving-license' quest, I booked my BTT on 15th Dec 2008, which happened to be my 1 year enlistment anniversary. Please..let me book out on that day...

Tree

//Tree//



Don't you think that this tree (photo taken in australia btw) looks lonely and lost?

Been reading this book called "A Place Called Here" by Cecelia Ahern, which talks about how 'lost' things/people/memories end up in a place called 'Here'. And I admit there are moments I felt like I was 'Here' in the past 3 weeks.

And coincidentally, I watched "Lost In Translation" on my flight there, which is a movie that deals with the issue of being lost in your life too.

Nevermind, shall talk about it another time in another entry.

Now I shall just look forward to my wonderfully packed programmes for the next few days, which happens to be all eating outings! From western to chinese (yumcha high tea buffet!) to thai (lerk thai high tea buffet!) to bbq...there's no way I will not gain weight...

Leave

//Leave//

踩着月光打开车窗
离开这城市想找个解放
一路开往最高那一座山
孤单的想像寂寞的逃亡
- 孙燕姿 (逃亡)

Sometimes, when life really sucks, and everything's going wrong, you're feeling really down, don't you just feel like running away.

Not that my life really sucks to that point right now, but I must admit it's a thought that creeps into my mind quite frequently, especially recently. I mean, it's tempting isn't it, to stop whatever nonsense you're doing right now, and just leave, to a far far away place, where no one knows you.

The whole idea of leaving just like that is just very..appealing. I think it comes from the thrill of doing something without considering the consequences, which is in a way reckless I guess. And for someone like me who always thinks too much, consider so many factors before making a simple decision, it's an appealing notion (maybe cause I know I will never ever have the guts to do that).

There has been lots of discussions about post-ord plans recently in the bunk, and there was this particular topic of backpacking being brought up. To be exact, some of my bunkmates were talking about a 6 month long backpacking trip, starting from here all to way to switzerland, using the most basic means of transport like buses and trains.

It sounds crazy, but the very fact that it's crazy makes it so exciting, which probably triggered the whole 'leaving' mood in me.

Speaking of my bunkmates, it's been 2 weeks since my stay-out jeep course ended, which means I've been back at hell-hole for 2 weeks (which felt like eternity). It felt different, the whole vibe in camp, maybe it's cause of the new faces, or maybe I'm just too used to staying out I don't know. But one thing never change, some people (1 in particular) are still as intolerable (to quote my bunkmate) as they were before I left. And yes, one more thing that never change, they still never fail to surprise me with some of the things they do. It's quite a feat if you actually think about it, to keep outdoing yourself and constantly surprising us with your complete lack of common sense.

On a different note, recently (a few days ago in fact) a platoon mate of mine got into an minor accident while clocking mileage on his motorbike. He didn't suffer much serious injuries, but was still hospitalised for further observations. And surprisely, his full body checkup reveals a heart problem (which is not yet determined exactly).

But that's not the point I wanna make.

When I first heard of this news, the first thought that flashes through my mind is "oh my god is it serious? Is he going to be ok??". But that thought probably stayed like for 0.2 seconds or something cause another thought immediately took over "is he still going to go australia? oh my god, he may be able to down pes and get out of here!!"

I know it's kind of cold-blooded to think about down pes-ing and so on, but well, that's not something you can control, and the sad thing is from what I observe, I'm not the only one who think that way.

Most of my platoon mates, upon hearing the news, seemed shocked (that's their initial reaction), then they seemed happy yet worried for him at the same time. Happy that he may get to downpes and leave this hell-hole, but still human enough to worry about how serious the condition is.

Speaks volumes about how great NS is and how wonderful my unit it.

Ok, I should really stop here before I say too much and get myself in trouble. :)

Let's speak about more positive stuff that happen in camp (?!)

Yes, life may be bleak in there, but it's not totally void of positive things. For one, majority of the platoon is a joy to hang out with, and for the past week or so, we've all been so busy with the washing and packing of our stores and stuff into the kitbag.

Packing itself may be a bitch, but the feeling of satisfaction when you finally manage to squeeze every single damn thing inside and zip up the kitbag is sweeeeeet. And like joshua said, it's like doing strength training, cause we needed like 2-3 people to zip up 1 kitbag. And we have to pack everything in and out, in and out for all the inspections and so on. Tiring it may be, it's actually quite funny la, especially when everyone's doing it together, frantically and desperately trying to squeeze everything inside.

So the kitbag's packed and sent.

2 more days before I disappear from the surface of earth.

Wish me luck!

Mr Accident-Prone

//Mr Accident-Prone//

Yep that's me.

I can't believe I fell down from the Jeep while doing camouflaging. My butt still hurts la!

And after driving the manual jeep for like 20+ days, I actually knock my head today when I try to mount the jeep. I don't know how I did it, but I did.

And if you think that auto jeep's much safer cause there's no door or so on for me to knock into, you're so wrong. My shin hit the vehicle when I try to climb up into it.

And to top it off, the instructor who took me for auto jeep was like "aiyo, you better walk properly, don't fall from jeep, knock head, hit leg anymore" after I told him about my blur cock moments, and I was like "yes sir yes sir" and right at that moment, I step right into a puddle of muddy water.

-_-

Alone

//Alone//

I was at Heartland Mall eating dinner alone at KFC just now. Don't ask me why I was eating dinner there alone, it's a long long story which involves me exchanging DVD -R for DVD +R at Popular.

But yea, somehow it feels pretty miserable eating dinner alone.

It actually felt lonely.

The funny thing is I was never a person who cannot stand being alone. I crave for solitude in fact. I never had problem with watching movies alone, in fact I've watched quite a number of movies alone before, and I usually find myself enjoying the movie a lot more. The act of watching movies at the theatres, to most people (me included), is just another way to spend time with friends. That's why if I bother to drag my lazy ass to watch a movie alone, I usually find myself a lot more focused on the movie, and enjoying it a lot more.

But yea, discussing the meaning behind watching a movie isn't what I really want to blog about here. As I was saying, I felt lonely, for god knows what reason. And note, I used 'lonely', I didn't say 'alone'. There's a very big difference between the 2.

'Alone' is a lot more neutral, it's very matter of fact. If you are by yourself, you are alone. Like I said, I have no qualms with doing things alone.

'Lonely', on the other hand, deals with an emotional state. You can be surrounded by friends and yet, still feel lonely.

孤单是一个人的狂欢
狂欢是一群人的孤单
- 阿桑 (叶子)

See what I mean? It's kind of interesting, "狂欢是一群人的孤单", I mean we're constantly surrounded by people, by family, by friends, but how many of us don't feel lonely at all. I guess everyone feels lonely to a certain degree no matter how happy he/she may seem.

So I was lonely and bored. When you're lonely and bored, you people-watch. Well, I don't know about you, but I do, as I was eating that is.

And I discover a very disturbing fact. Almost every single person I saw was with someone else. Are we so dependant on human company? Are we like incapable of spending time alone??

I saw this lesbian couple (yes, I'm very sure it's a lesbian couple, or maybe I should say I saw this butch with this girl behaving like a couple). They reminded me of qingyi and ash (and wenqin if you're reading, i'm not talking about the qingyi and ash in our driving course, i was talking abt my jc classmate n her gf).

And I saw 3 srjc students, 1 girl and 2 guys. Totally reminded me of how me, mitch and everlyn would go eat at tiong bahru plaza after our comm serve.

As I went to the toilet, I also saw this 2 jc students (of which one is a very ugly sajc girl, but yea, that's not the point) mugging biology. I can recognise the alpha helix protein structure. Again, I was reminded of how I always mug with ever and wilson almost anywhere there's food, and that scene totally reminded me of the 3 of us mugging at KAP for our final bio MCQ for a lvls.

I also saw this dad with his 2 sons, a married couple with their maid (or maybe it's their maid lookalike daughter), this parent with their 2 kids, 3 PRCs (which I think compromises of 1 couple + 1 girl who's acting as the lightbulb).

So just as I was marvelling at the fact that I'm the only person eating alone in KFC, I suddenly spotted this other guy in executive wear eating alone too! For a moment, I was kind of relieved, at least I'm not the only one alone. But then it suddenly dawned on me that, that's me. That's exactly how I'm going to be like in the future.

Assuming I move out after I get a job in the future, I'm living alone, that's probably how I will settle my dinner every night, eating alone. That guy looked so...miserable. As he's eating his fries, there's no passion, it's almost like he's eating for the sake of eating, he's eating cause if he don't he will starve to death. Ok, I know it sounds a bit over the top, but that's the vibe I got from him. I definitely don't wanna end up like him.

So I came to this conclusion.

I MUST LEARN HOW TO COOOK! At least I would be eating alone at home, and not showing my pathetic self to the rest of the world. Furthermore, think of all the $$$ I can save. So yes, I must learn how to cook!

On a ending note, the driving course is ending like 4 days time. I'm so so going to miss staying out.

MAF

//MAF//

Ok, I admit, it's been EONS since I last updated my blog.

Stay-out life is pretty good, it felt like I'm back in school, reporting everyday at 7.30 am, going for "practicals" and theory lessons. It felt exactly the same, you know, the anticipation of going home everyday (ok I admit it was more of the anticipation of lessons ending while back in JC, rather than going home), and the sweet feeling of being dismissed at the end of the day. The bus ride home everyday felt the same too, people-watching, stoning, daydreaming...I'm really enjoying all of this.

What I'm not enjoying so much, is the course itself, and to be more exact, driving with the instructor constantly putting you down right beside you. I mean I enjoy driving, I really really do, but the conditions in which I'm driving in, not so much. I know I'm not the best driver around, and that I'm probably a bit more blur than your usual trainee, but to scold me for scratching my ears while driving...it's just unreasonable la. Oh well, I'm getting used to it liao, and just like Qingyi said, we have to learn to shut him out and concentrate on driving, so...oh well. I admit he's a pretty damn good instructor, but sometimes the things he scold...can be so unreasonable...anyway just about 2 more weeks of driving and I would be out of there.

Anyway, I think I've deviated enough, I wanted to talk about MAF.


Pretty lights...

You know, now that I've graduated, MAF suddenly makes more sense. Not that it doesn't for the past 2 years, but well, for the past 2 years, going to MAF is just like another night in school with a bit of songs and mass dance.

It's totally different now, you know I realised that after I've graduated, any excuse or chance to go school is very much appreciated. Like the J1 orientation campfire, and in this case MAF. It's not just about meeting up with your classmates or what, cause it can be very easily arranged outside, a movie, a dinner, or even a surprise birthday party. It's the meeting in school that makes it different.

Sitting at the class bench yesterday and stoning, felt especially nostalgic. It's almost like we never did leave the school. And we realised our juniors are probably busy mugging for their prelims and frantically panicking over A lvls, while we're happily relaxing and chilling at the class bench. What a difference a year made.

It's a pity that it rained just as the song and dance session is about to start, but going to the hall for it isn't that bad too. I think it was the first time I stepped into that hall since the end of A lvls. The last time I was there was probably the last paper of A levels (bio mcq).

Speaking of which, it was great seeing the teachers too! I never realised the reading room was open for students to look for their teachers, well, cause probably we never had to go to the reading room to look for teachers for the past 2 years, since we see them like everyday.

Anyway...I know this will look a bit bimbotic, but yea...haha...

I <3 HC!


S71!



I <3 71!


05 & 06S71

Mood

//Mood//

I'm not really in the mood to blog these days. I mean it's not that I have nothing to blog about, there are days, or rather moments in camp, where my mind just click and there's so much I wanna express, but once the moment's gone, it's kind of hard to get it back. The emotions and feelings I wanna express at that moment just kind of slip away very fast, and it's very hard to get that some feeling again during weekend when I'm sitting down in front of the comp. So I guess that's why I've been blogging much these days, and even when I do, it's some fluffy stuff.

Just 1 thing before I sign off...there's a high possibilty I would be stuck in camp for the next 3 weeks. 2 weekends burnt cause of outfields, parades and AHM. I feel like I'm going to disappear from the surface of the earth for the next 7 days cause of the upcoming exercise since I would not be contactable at all. Oh well.

Pointless Rambling

//Pointless Rambling//

Last few weeks...I can't really remember what happened.

I kind of lost track of time.

I remember I had a class outing...like...a week ago? Yea, I think so. Or is it 2? Can't remember.

Nothing major's happening in camp too. Unless you consider the "no-more-fieldpack-while-marching-to-cookhouse" thing major, or the "no-more-stupid-sbo-run-in-the-morning" important...It's great, that we no longer have to do such stupid things, but it's way overdue in my opinion, not that my opinion actually matters.

Oh, I suddenly remember something memorable. We went Sungei Gedong for some infantry motorisation thing. And I bump into cheng twice in a row! Sungei Gedong definitely brought back memories of OVL...though I wished it was Stagmont that we went back to...

Actually, there's really nothing much to talk about. Not that life's miserable or what, but there's just nothing much happening. Even my mind seems to be on hibernation mode these days. Not much intellectual thoughts formulating in my tiny little brain. But generally, I'm happy with status quo, platoon mates have been great (majority of them anyway), and they really made life so much more bearable.

Okay, enough of pointless ramblings.

Time to book in again.

Random

//Random//

Some random musings before I book in...

Having little metallic things wrap around your teeth is totally not fun. for one, it hurts like hell, which means I can't eat, which makes me feel really really miserable. And it feels damn weird to have things poking out from your teeth, makes me feel like a vampire.

With that being said, I am still kind of looking forward to see myself with the full metallic bracket on...though I must admit I'm not quite looking forward to the even weirder sensation I will feel with everything on.

i guess that's how betty feels??

Moving on...brought 2 books into camp last week. Didn't think I could finish them since I was on leave last Monday, which means I should be in camp only for 4 days, of which 2 days were spent outfield. But surprise surprise, I did...all thanks to the Saturday guard duty.

"Derailed" is properly one of the more exciting books I've read recently, which actually isn't that hard to imagine if you look at the list of books I read recently. I was actually surprised by most of the twists, which was surprising in itself, because in retrospect, the twists are actually quite predictable. But all in all, it's a really enjoyable read.

"Dreaming of Strangers" on the other hand is just -_-. I wished I could say it sucked badly, but I can't. In actual fact, nothing much happened, the story didn't quite take off at all, I mean there wasn't even much of a story to start with. And to add on to nothingness that happened, there were all these weird ridiculous chapters to describe Chris's favourite movies and Becca's weird boyfriends. I thought these chapters would somehow matter in the grand scheme of the plot, I guessed I gave the author too much credit.

On a totally unrelated note (I realised I used this line a lot...), found out some interesting stuff about some of my platoon mates over the past couple of weeks. Shaun Yap (or Seng Onn as I prefer to call him, especially when I come back from SOC) participated in a SMS competition before! It was a totally unproductive friday afternoon, we were all waiting for book out, and I was so bored that I decided to sms Seng Onn even though he was just sitting beside me, and he actually sent me the sms that he was supposed to type in that competition.

He's quite an interesting guy because his personality and his looks totally don't match. For one. he totally doesn't look like he can drive, and no one would ever guessed that he's so so into cars.

Another interesting revealation...chi weng was from lion dance! For someone who can't formulate a proper chinese sentence, lion dance was the last CCA I would expect him to be in.

Just took a look at my Countdown timer, 524 days to ORD.

524 days to freedom.

524 days left to gossip, bitch, sleep, eat with my fabulous bunkmates and platoonmates.

Surprises

//Surprises//

I must admit my life has been pretty dull these days.

Which is exactly why little surprises never fail to brighten up my day.

And I was really very pleasantly surprised yesterday when I went out with ever, pauline and weixin to sing at some KTV at serangoon gardens. I really didn't even suspect anything when I see weixin coming out of ever's dad's car, or when I see them with plastic bags of stuff...I really thought it was supposed to be some farewell kind of thing for pauline who's going australia...

Ended up it was for me...kind of as a belated birthday surprise kind of thing...they actually prepared this series of mini-tasks for me to complete and gave me 8 "gifts" + a cake...

Ketchap
Apple Pie
Yogurt

Soy Sauce
Iceberg mineral water
Orange juice
Nai (or milk!)
Grape (F&N Grape)

*inserts pic (ever/weixin, if you are reading...send me the photo!!)

Of course they are not so nice to just give me this 8 items. They mixed the ketchap with yogurt and pour it on the apple pie for me to eat, and they actually mixed the 5 things and created this really SIONG (pun intended) drink, and it's oh my disgusting.

The tasks they made me are really funny and stupid, like mass dance (?! who remembers them!!), grab some random girl/guy to sing a duet with (which i manage to siam!), and my fav of all....sing 死了都要爱in the original key! To ever: just cause I made it seem so easy doesn't mean it's easy ok! muahahaha!

Anyway...I was really pleasantly surprised...really thanks to all involved..like I know sylvia came up with some pretty twisted ideas though she wasn't there...thanks!

Speaking of sylvia, I saw her at Taka today! What a surprise! I thought she quit her job there already. And her co-worker/boss actually thought I was her younger brother!! LOL! I guess I must look really young...

On a different note, I donated blood last thur during the blood donation drive in mandai hill camp! Or at least I attempted to.

I was given the painkiller jab, then I was poked with the actual needle with the tube, and it was actually painful (despite everyone else telling me they felt nothing). Blood flowed out slowly. The nurse came, poked the needle further in and start shifting it left and right, which means more pain. 5 mins later, blood is still flowing slowly, I started to get bruises and a swollen lump near the needle.

Then the blood donation was terminated.

THANKS ARH! After poking the needle all over my arm, they terminate it! Then the nurse start pressing the swollen part really hard and violently..attempting to reduce the swelling (is it even the way to reduce swelling?!)

Whatever, this is my first and last time I am going to donate blood.

Anyway, I have been thinking about certain stuff lately...things like my choice of course in university. I guess I am just very easily swayed. I thought I have already convinced myself that the Biz Ad & New Media double degree prog is what I want the most, but apparently...there's still this shadow of doubt in me. But like ever and mingwei said...慢慢想..I have the luxury of time...

Well, in the process of sorting out my thoughts on my options of university courses, the issue of potential careers obviously popped up, and it's just natural that $$ will pop up too...which led me to think further. Like what do I wanna achieve, what do I want ultimately in terms of lodging? Will I be satisfied with HDB? Condo? Where? What car do I want?

I know all these seems really far away...but I can't help but think about it, especially when I am just 1 year away from the big 2 in my age. We all have to start planning about our life sooner or later don't we? I know "life is not a checklist of acquisitions or acheivements"...but we have to admit that when it comes to financial stuff...careful planning is essential and absolutely necessary.

And I was actually quite surprised when I was talking to my dad about it, that he actually had all these plans when he was still quite young, what he wants and how he's going to achieve it. Of course, 人算不如天算...things don't always happened as you planned, but then again when you fail to plan, you plan to fail. (that's so cliche I know...but it's true!)

Ok enough of my rambling.

On an ending note, I'm really proud of my 2 flags on my collar. At least I'm not blindly chionging.

1 month

//1 month//

Just lost an entry due to IE crashing down on me. Great!

Gist of it...life in Mandai Hill is not as bad as I thought, though there are a hell lot of unpleasant stuff too.

I am 19! Birthday was simple, outing with H4, watched Sex and The City. Rather apt, not cause of the sex or romance, but cause of the friendship between the 4 leads. Just like what I told chee yong, I think my friendship with the 3 of them have more or less passed the test. Just like any romantic relationships, I believe there are various phases to a friendship too, and for the 4 of us. it's more or less in the late stable phases I guess. LTF - Long term friendship. hmm..

Very sian diao by the lost entry. Oh well, will blog again when the mood is there. Have been wanting to blog but there's just not enough time. Oh well.

Happy Fathers' Day by the way.

Choices

//Choices//

Clinton or Obama?

NTU or NUS?

It's kind of funny how things turned out, considering the fact that I wasn't even thinking about NUS 2 months ago when I applied for university.

I spent days reading about the modules in mass comm for NTU and other courses like NTU biz, etc, and spent a lot of time debating on which course I should put as my first choice and so on. And I finally chose mass comm as my first choice after much delibration.

NUS...the whole application probably took me half an hour (inclusive of reading about the modules in the various courses)...cause..it has always been a backup for me, I knew for sure at that time I wanted either NTU mass comm or NTU biz. So who cares about NUS, I just randomly applied for some courses, and some double degree courses.

Then came the interview, I was asked to go for an interview for the ddp in NUS that I applied for. I mean, I didn't even remember that I applied for some DDP when I signed up for that interview. I was actually thinking "great..bookout!" When I finally remembered that I applied for that DDP, I actually had the mentality of using that interview as an preparation for my mass comm interview in NTU which I deemed more important. So you can probably tell that I totally didn't even try to prepare myself mentally for that interview.

Even when the acceptance letters came for both university, I was so ready to accept mass comm in NTU. But over the past week or so, I've been receiving advices from quite some people, from friends to university prof to even friend's bosses. And I can say they definitely made a very very strong case for NUS's double degree programme.

I mean, I admit, I am more inclined towards NUS now. But still, there are so much to take into consideration and so much holding me back from accepting NUS right now, like is the extra year for the DDP worth it, will I be able to cope with the workload, and most importantly, the fact that NTU mass comm has been my choice since the beginning, made it very hard for me to reject it now. It's like abandoning something you've believed in for so long. At the same time, it's very hard to reject NUS too, since apparently it's very very hard to get into the DDP.

Everyone I've asked have given me some pretty good advice I think, but it's their personal opinion afterall, like a friend actually told me that he believed it doesn't matter what degree one end up with, if that person's good, he/she won't have trouble finding a very decent job (which is one of the reason for rejecting mass comm, cause apparently, job prospects of mass comm graduate is not too promising).

He's not entirely wrong to say that, but does it apply to me? I guess I just have to take in all the advices I received, process them and decide if it applies to me.

NTU's mass comm is like Clinton, more established and experienced and started with more support..but gradually losing support till she finally lags behind. NUS's DDP on the other hand, is like Obama, new (which is always a scary thing), but he managed to win over the supporters gradually and is now leading.

Actually to be honest, I think I've made up my mind. I'm just not committed to my decision 100%. I am still holding on, hoping that maybe between now and 2nd June, there would be some dramatic happenings that would sway me to the other side, just like how Clinton refuses to give up although all odds are against her.

That's just me I guess. Indecisive and can't commit.

On a totally unrelated note, 1SIR, here I come! The fact that I'm going to see familiar faces in a totally unfamiliar environment does comfort me a little, but still, I'm worried like hell. Let's just hope I'm worrying over nothing, and things will turn up fantastic.

佐贺的超级阿嬷

//佐贺的超级阿嬷//

I know this is waaay overdue, since my signals course ended like a week ago exactly, but still, it's something that I would like to jot down, so that when I do read my older entries in the future, I will actually remember how I felt about the course.

It's really funny cause I was just reading some of my old entries, and there were some entries that really brought me back to the time I was writing it, I actually remembered very very clearly how I felt then and why I wrote what I wrote, but some entries, it just felt like someone else wrote it, and I just feel weird reading it.

Back to my point.

The 6 weeks in stagmont, probably my best 6 weeks in my 24 months in NS? There are lots of things I will miss, like the daily shitting session in the ever so clean CSTH toilets followed by the slacking around at the benches at CSTH while waiting for the PRs to start, or the daily snacking session at level 1 lobby after RO at night (i totally agree with chi weng that Hello Panda is the best snacks on earth), or lazing around in e-plaza waiting for lessons to start.

And it's great to lame around with yenshan, robert and so on, especially on depressing days. They just made the bad days tolerable and the good days even better. I will miss my nickname sluticia (only robert n yenshan calls me that, and since they won't be going 1 sir...it will be kind of lost i guess), which is totally random since I am obviously the least slutty, or rather the only non-slutty one around, especially compared to slutella and sluterina...haha.

I guess this 6 weeks in stagmont is the closest to a student life you will get in NS, which is probably why I enjoyed it so much, which reminds me, god i miss hwa chong!

I take 190 and switch to 151 at raffles town club whenever I book out from stagmont, and I happened to run into 2 HC guys on the bus a few weeks ago, J1 I presume, since one of the guys is from tkd too and he's just a white belt. Made me kind of "school-sick" for a while, especially listening to them talk about tutorials..lecture tests and so on (and no, I did not intentionally listen in to their convo, the bus was so packed and I was standing beside them, so it's inevitable)

I miss stoning at the class bench, playing bridge after school, taking hours to decide where to eat or go, and so much more. I even miss the times I spent mugging for all the exams with my friends at KAP/class bench/SRC/marina square foodcourt (the list is simply too long..haha...i mugged in all parts of singapore).

But yea, things are always better when we look back at them. School life seems so exciting, St John is so full of memories, BMT came and went by so quickly and 6 weeks in stagmont is just so fun. Yea, cause I guess we only remember the good things, we choose to keep the beautiful memories, and throw away all the bad ones.

Like right now, when I look back on my 6 weeks in stagmont, the first things I remember are the good times as mentioned above, the ridiculous behaviour of some scums? Not so much.

Selective memory maybe.

Ok, enough about all this. Right now, I am in some Ops, which is apparently such a big secret that I am not supposed to blog about it. Oh well.

Let just say my job scope now allows me to have even more time to read as compared to my days in stagmont. Which is why I read about 4-5 sets of newspaper daily, and I will finish reading at least 1 book daily. I guess that explains why the list of books I read on the left column has been increasing quite steadily.

I realized the books I have been reading are either bimbotic or bitchy. Like “Fashion Babylon”, it is so bitchy, and it’s basically about sex, booze, drugs, gays, and oh yea fashion. But I can’t deny it’s a nice read since it’s pretty funny, though I am totally not into fashion so I got kind of lost here and there.

"Romantically Challenged" on the other hand, is all about dates, dates and more dates. They are all bad dates though, which made it so hilarious and fun to read.

But the book that really left a deep impression is probably “佐贺的超级阿嬷”. Yes, I am very shocked myself that I actually managed to finish reading 1 chinese book too. Didn’t know I still had it in me.

It’s just one of those books that will make you laugh and cry at the same time, because it’s based on the personal experience of the author, which made it so real, and relatable at times. Seeing how the grandma lives with such optimism despite the bad living conditions is really uplifting, but there are also so many parts that made me feel like crying (but of course I didn’t, it would be too embarrassing since I’m in the bunk while reading)

Some interesting extracts from the book:

阿嬷对于贫穷的看法：
“阿嬷，虽然我们家现在穷，以后有钱就好了。”

可是外婆这样回答我：
“什么话？穷有两种：穷得消沉和穷得开朗。我们家是穷得开朗。而且啊，我们跟由富变穷的人不一样，你不用担心，要有自信。因为我们家的祖先可世世代代都是穷人。做有钱人很辛苦，要吃好东西，要去旅行，忙死了。而且，穿着好衣服走在路上，还要担心摔一跤。光从这一点来看，穷人习惯穿着脏衣服，淋了雨，坐在地上，摔跤也无所谓。啊，贫穷真好！”

……

我只能说：
“阿嬷，晚安。”


阿嬷的的考试秘诀:
“阿嬷，我英语都不会。”
“那，你就在答案纸上写‘我是日本人’。”
“对啊，在日本不懂英语也不会特别麻烦啊。”
“是啊，是啊。”
“可是，我也不太会写汉字哪。”
“那你就写‘我可以靠着平假名和片假名活下去’。”
“哦？是有人只认得平假名。”
“是啊，是啊。”
“我也讨厌历史……”
“历史也不会？”

讲到这里，外婆终于有些傻眼。

我以为外婆会叫我“赶快去读书”，但她毕竟是外婆，想了一下，冒出这句话：
“那就在答案纸上写‘我不拘泥于过去’。”

帅呆了！

乐观的的阿嬷：
外婆利落地指挥学弟他们，稳稳地把黑板摆作我们和隔壁邻居的围墙。

隔天，外婆要我从学校拿些不用的粉笔头回家，开始把黑板当作留言板用。

我放学回家时，黑板上都有给我的留言：
“昭广，我晚点儿回来，阿嬷。”
“昭广，去买瓶酱油，阿嬷。”

有一次回去时，看见黑板上大大地写着：
“昭广，钥匙在大门旁的盆栽里，阿嬷。”

再怎么说，写出藏钥匙的地方，不是太不安全了吗？我提醒外婆小心：
“阿嬷，写出放钥匙的地方，很危险哪。”

“哪会啊？小偷看了，说不定会烦恼：‘去偷这么亲切的人家妥当吗？’‘不行，其中可能有诈。’阿嬷是要给小偷改过自新的空间。而且就算进来了，也没有东西可偷，说不定因为我们一无所有，反而留下一点东西才走呢！”

这件事让我觉得，学校里谈恋爱的老师、借故调皮捣蛋的我虽然厉害，但都比不上外婆。

Oh well, as much as I like my current job, it’s not going to last long I think. I would probably be out of this camp by end of the week, and by next tue, I should be in Mandai Hell Camp, I mean Mandai Hill Camp.

The whole “going-to-1SIR” thing has been quite an emotional roller coaster. I basically went from 抗拒to恐惧to愤怒to沮丧to finally 认命 in a matter of 6 weeks.

抗拒because who would want to go to a infantry unit? And to announce it on the very first day of the course when we haven’t even settle into stagmont is not the best choice in my opinion.

恐惧because of all the scary stories by the 1SIR people in the platoon, and “sim lim square” isn’t really helping us feel at ease about going 1SIR at all.

愤怒because I was denied of a chance to express interest for the overseas posting, that I really want to go for, which would actually kind of grant me immunity from going 1SIR. (though I must say this is only a very minor factor)

沮丧when I realized yenshan and robert got the overseas posting, life in 1SIR seems more bleak than ever with the 2 of them gone, and joshua and kian hong possibly deferring due to medicine in NUS and PSC.

认命…oh well, what else can I do other than to认命.

Then they gave us hope. We are not going 1SIR afterall due to some conflicts up there. We were excited for like 2 days, then rumours (which are from very very credible sources) that we are going there afterall start to circulate around again.

They simply love to play with our minds don’t they. Like the “go Taiwan, not going Taiwan” deal and the “Driving course, no driving course” issue.

Whatever it is, I’m way past the认命stage already. Currently at the麻木stage.

Too numb to even feel anything about this news anymore.

p.s. i love you

//p.s. i love you//

This 6 weeks of heaven in stagmont, before I officially enter hell on 7th May, actually managed to get me to pick up the books and start reading again. And by reading, I'm not actually refering to the thick manuals or pointless powerpoint slide, I'm refering to real fictional (how oxymoronic!) books. The long admin time at night, breaks in between lessons, or the ridiculously long waiting time for the practical test are all perfect time for reading.

Of course this is only one of the few factors that pushed me to start reading again. I guess the mass comm interview/selection test a few weeks ago kind of got to me a little. I just felt like I really really have to start working on my language or something if I ever wanna do well in mass comm because everyone there just seems so...outstanding. I admit I was intimidated, and in fact, I just felt like a fish out of water. It was like a science student being randomly thrown together with a bunch of humanities students. Maybe I'm really just a science student at heart?

Oh well.

Been talking a lot about uni education and future careers and so on with my bunkmates, and ironically it made me feel even more unsure about everything. I thought I had it all mapped out, guess I was wrong, since I feel like I'm right back at square 1 right now. Why do I even apply for mass comm in the first place? What exactly do I want? Journalism? Advertising? Social work? Teaching? It's driving me nuts thinking about it.

Maybe I should just heed my own advice that I gave my friend, stop thinking so much and just go with your gut feeling. Sometimes, overthinking isn't too healthy huh? I guess I just need more guts and have more confidence in myself.

Ok, enough of deviation. This is supposed to be about "p.s. i love you". robert recommended me this book after I casually asked him to recommend me some good books a couple of weeks ago. yenshan described it as "really sweet and would make you wanna fall in love" kind of book. And yea, it's really pretty sweet, but maybe cause I haven't really experienced the feeling of losing a loved one, it just didn't quite strike a chord with me.

I mean I do feel sorry for Holly, and it's nice reading about her times with Gerry and so on, I just can't relate to those stuff. What I really like about this book though, are the interactions Holly had with her best friends Denise and Sharon. I think for me, it's more of a book about friendship rather than love? And I particularly like the karaoke competition part, where she sung "With a little help from my friends".

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends
Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends
- With A Little Help From My Friends (The Beatles)

Well, I guess that's kind of what I'm feeling right now. A bit lost just like Holly in the book, not really knowing what I want in life, and what to do with it, but I guess I will get by with a little help from my friends.

So Jiahua was asking me if I felt sad after reading the book, cause he thought the story is those classic tragic case, I actually wasn't, cause it kind of made me feel a bit more hopeful about life. Weird but oh well, that was how I felt.

I guess I should really count myself lucky for having the friends I have now, be it my classmates, h4 or bunkmates I have now, cause they really made my NS a lot more fun and I always felt a lot better after talking to them.

On a separate note, ex VHF this week turned out to be really fun. HQ work was really hectic and it can get a little stressful with the commanders around all the time, but it's actually kind of exciting when I press the PTT button, a lot of times not knowing what to say or how to relay a msg, but still doing it anyway cause the commander is hurrying us to make some annoucement or something.

Of course there were lots of funny episodes, like v11 getting lost, v77's exercise msg about their punctured tires that we all thought was real, and v44's long matrix msg which we took damn long to decode only to realise it's something really lame (cbhaha).

drawing and returing of stores before and after the exercise is still a bitch as usual, and once again, it proved to me some ppl just can't be bothered. if i can walk up and down 5 storeys to carry stores for 7 friggin times, there's no reason why you can't do it. and if you don't wanna help, at least hide at some corner so that people cant see you, instead of walking around acting sick.

sometimes i really wonder if it's my problem but not theirs. I mean if i'm whinning and complaining about so many people so often, maybe I'm the one with the problem? Oh well.

And yenshan told me that "you shouldn't help people who don't help themselves" if I were to become a social worker next time cause of some incident that happened in camp. and it kind of got me thinking. though i agree that some people don't deserve the help like the ones I was attempting to help the other day, but isn't it the responsibility of the social worker to get the people who are not helping themselves at all, to start to helping themselves.

so putting it back into the current scenario i'm in, instead of helping them clean the fans, I should encourage them to start cleaning it? But honestly speaking, I can't be bothered to do that, cause it's really a chore to even to talk any sense into them. Guess I'm not cut out to be a social worker too...haha..

Growing Up

//Titleless//

Been ages since I last updated this blog. Nothing really major much has been going on in camp recently, other than the constant emo-ing of "omg, i m going 1SIR!" or "omg! i wanna down pes!". Well, but truth be told, I don't think any one of us would actually end up down pes-ing or anything like that. I guess you must have that "chao geng" gene in you to really actively seek ways to down pes, and sadly, none of us possess that important gene.

The most major event that happened in the last 3 weeks in camp..is probably the lines summary exercise. But wait! That's classified information! So oh well, not like it was ultra exciting and deserve a paragraph by itself anyway.

What's more "blog-worthy" is probably be the post-exercise recovery period, where we have to wheel back all the lines through the night right after the exercise. This kind of thing just reinforce my dislike for certain people in the platoon, and it's really very obvious who actually bothers to put in that tinnie winnie pit of effort, and who just don't care at all.

A certain someone want us to gel and work together as a platoon, which is fair enough I guess, but I guess it's impossible to work together, if some people don't work at all to start with?

My past 2 weekends have been spent with meng, cheng and terence, and yes, it does feel a bit loser-ish initially, like "don't I have other friends?! why am i seeing the same people 2 weekends in a row!" But oh well, anything beats staying at home, so I went out with them anyway, and I really enjoy their company too, so why not?

Watched this movie called "Untraceable" last week, before heading down to some pub in Clarke Quay. I admit, I never club, I don't even go pubs cause I just don't drink, so when they suggested it, I was like "okay..." but I still went anyway. Had Vodka with Sprite, which is like pretty mild I guess, but I just conclude I don't like to drink at all. In fact, I don't like any food with alcoholic content, like I don't even like Rum & Rasin.

This week, we decided to head down to Marina South for some steamboat, only to realise it's all gone?! So headed to Lau Pa Sat instead, stuffed ourselves with food, and it was actually a great nights out, if not for the super annoying bell ringing thing every hour. Now we know why the whole place is so void of customers.


Food we ordered!

Went over to Harry's...and this time round, I sticked to plain water.

Ok, I think my blog is turning into some horrible report of my life in chronological order. Bad bad. There are actually lots of things on my mind over the weeks, but I just don't feel motivated to write them out.

Oh well, till next time, out.

First Week

//First Week//

Life in stagmont is pretty good compared to BMT.

I mean there's of course the initial "i-hate-this-new-place" blues on the first day when you don't know anyone, and you don't know the place well, and you are forced to study all the physics stuff that I personally HATE to the core. Luckily, it only lasted like for a day, because the whole atmosphere there is just so...happy that it's hard to feel sad there. Yes, everyone is sian of mugging and studying (and mind you, we really study A LOT, like from 8 to 6 almost everyday) but all in all, it's a happy place, even for the commanders, so it's really hard to feel depressed over there.

Not that we are happy 24/7 there also lar, especially when certain news are made. News like where we are going to posted to after the 6+ week course definitely manage to make most of us feel -_- for quite some time, but oh well, there's nothing good food can't solve, so I'm really glad my bunk decide to just "emo" over it over food every night by going down to the food vending machine to pig out.

Speaking of my bunk, there's a whoopin 5 hwa chongians out of 9 people in my bunk! So there's definitely loads to talk about, especially GOSSIPS! Oh man, hwachong is such a happening and horny place. Haha, shan't discuss too much here. But there's good and bad to it I guess, because of the fact that there are 4 other HC guys around that I can hang out with and speak to, there's no motivation in me to try to mix around with other people that much, and if I really did ended up in that place after my course, I definitely definitely need to mix around more with the platoon, even those that I feel are on a complete different frequency as me. But oh well, it's only the first week, shall see how it goes.

Was talking with mingwei on the phone that day while in camp, and we were whinning to each other as usual, and I came to the conclusion that there's really no point being envious of people for their vocation. I mean he's staying out, and he's complaining, I'm in signals, and I'm complaining. Bottomline, we are all human, we will never be 100% satisfied, and what's more, this is NS, where no one in the right mind would be happy to serve, so actually no matter where you are posted to, there are bound to be stuff that you won't be happy with cause it's army afterall. So, oh well, just count down to the next bookout!

Speaking of bookouts, got to bookout on Sat morning instead of Fri which is the standard in SI thanks to guard duty. Talk about lucky. But it's a 12 hour duty, so it's not that bad I guess compared to those who got weekend 24 hour duty.

Met up with meng, cheng n rence yesterday to celebrate meng's birthday. Ate at Billy Bombers, which well cost me a bomb but the ribs are nice. Highlight of the day should be this $10Family KTV at Chinatown which is superhard to find. When we finally found it, we were led to this small room just beside their kitchen. Though small, it's really cosy and the sofa's comfortable, and there's free flow of drinks and even shark fins' soup (seriously!), though it tasted like...hmm..nevermind. But all these only for $10++ for 7 to 10, which is seriously quite cheap, and the songs there are actually very updated, and for some reason, we just got very high randomly over random songs. The 2pm to 7pm slot is even cheaper cause it's 10 bucks nett. Highly recommended!

Cooking

//Cooking//

Block leave is ending soooon! zzzzz.

Finally met up with cheng, meng and terence yesterday. It's really exciting meeting up with them, cause we always end up doing the most random thing at the very last minute. We were just eating Delifrance breakfast buffet, and for some reason, decide that we should each cook a dish for lunch at my house! (after checking our posting result, which was our original plan).

So off we went to NTUC to do some grocery shopping. I actually really like to do grocery shopping. I just find the idea of doing grocery shopping with your loved ones (be it friends, mum or whatsoever) very sweet. I like this homely feeling. Though I must admit it's kind of funny for 4 guys to be doing this together, seeing how our "inner-auntie" emerge.

The cooking process itself was kind of a mess, since none of us have really cooked b4, and we are all relying on what we can remember when we see our mums cook. I conclude I am so not cut out for cooking cause I'm seriously clumsy.

Anyway, here are the photos of sumptous meal we cook!


Green curry chicken cooked by yours truly! Actually, I didn't have to do much, it's like cooking instant noodles, I just dumped the curry powder into the water, dump in the chicken, and other stuff...and tada! It's done!


Steamed fish by terence! (which surprisely is edible)


VEGG!!! By cheng...


姜葱猪肉 by cheng again! He's seriously the only one that looks like he can remotely cook.


Our meal! (plus omelette)

Pointless Ramblings

//Pointless Ramblings//

It's just another story caught up in another photograph I found
And it seems like another person lived that life
A great number of years ago from now
- Photograph (Jamie Cullum)

Been reading through some of my older entries lately, because well, I'm just too bored, and I was actually quite surprised at some of the things I wrote. Not that it was even remotely good writing or what, but at least there was something, I actually put some thoughts into what I wanna write. But I was kind of glad I did capture down what I felt at that period of time, at least I was reminded that I was once optimistic about some stuff.

Lately, I don't know whether it's the lack of time, no inspiration or what, I just can't be bothered to even try to translate those incoherent thoughts and ramblings in my mind into words anymore. I'm just lazy I guess. Or maybe I should say that I hardly have such reflections and thinking process going on in my brain anymore since my life has been all about following orders.

"If the commander ask you to jump, you jump", to quote one of my commanders.

Shall not blame it entirely on NS, and I decided I shall stop blogging about it too, at least not during my block leave, because I want to feel like a real civilian for once. *try to ignore the fact that posting is coming out tomorrow and i will be back by monday*

Been discussing with quite some people about uni applications lately too. Reading up on all the modules and stuff made me kind of pumped up and excited about uni education. Of course I was slapped back into reality really soon.

Admist all these discussions, the issue of moral courage was suddenly raised. Don't ask me how, it was kind of random I agree. Do you stand up for what you believe in? Apparently, someone commented that my friend lack moral guts? Kind of made me wonder what that someone thought of me too with regards to this, but I would be more than willing to admit I'm not the kind that will fight aggressively for my rights or what I think is right. Not proud of it, but yea, that's me. That's not to say I condone stuff that I think is morally wrong tho.

Of course I'm not talking about really serious stuff like condoning crimes or whatsoever. But let's say someone cut my queue, my typical reaction would be to just let it be. And that's basically my attitude towards a lot of stuff. I mean 多一事不如少一事, so why get worked up over trivial stuff like that? I am just the type of person that prefer peace, nothing wrong with that I guess. People may see it as a sign of weakness or what, but at the end of the day, as long as I'm happy, who are they to judge?

Ok, I think I am getting into the rambling mode already. Shall talk about something happier.

Finally, I watched a movie! "Vantage Point" wasn't exactly mind-blowing fantastic, but it was worth the money at least. I felt that a lot of parts could have been developed further, like the media reporting part, or the backstory of some of the characters. The narration was quite interesting. reminded me of the movie "Memento", which is a movie with a very simple plot narrated in a fascinating manner. So just like what I felt about "Memento", take away the narration plot device, and "Vantage Point" is actually a very simple and straightforward movie. I kind of wished there was more twists actually, and the excessive use of this mode of narration from the different point of view, made it feel a bit gimmicky. But all in all, I did enjoy it.

On a totally unrelated note, I read this article on zaobao the other day, about the current trend of people changing the lyrics to current pop songs. Kind of funny cause I was just telling meng about how both my bro and sis actually write their own songs, and that I wanna try writing some lyrics too some time.

For me, lyrics of a song is far more important than the melody itself. I can find myself growing to really love a song with a very average tune, but awesome lyrics, but I just can't bring myself to listen to songs with crap lyrics. Granted it's the tune that usually attract me to a song in the first place, it's the lyrics that determine whether it's just another song I will sing along to or one that I really like.

One of these days...I will write something...when inspiration strikes.

Lost

//Lost//

I am very happy with my results. Very.

Not so excited about the fact that I still have absolutely no idea what to study. What's worse is I am totally not motivated to find out more about the options I have. There's the issue of what to study, whether to study local or overseas, whether to apply for scholarships or not, if yes, what scholarship should I go for.

But seriously, I really really really am in the mood to think about all this.

My mind is more preoccupied with POP this coming wednesday and the 12 day bloc leave, and more importantly what I'm going to do during this 12 days.

Perhaps NS has really eroded my brain in just a matter of 12 weeks.

I really envy those people who know what they want.

Lost. :(

Happy Faces

//Happy Faces//

Was browsing through my photos cause we are supposed to print out a photo of us with hair for our PS to see, and came across this photo.


Genuinely happy faces of us....on this day


A day to remember.

My February

//My February//

In case you think I died in Tekong or something, I didn't. I was just too lazy to update this blog, cause there's seriously nothing much going on in my life now anyway.

It certainly doesn't help when 2 of my precious weekends since my last update have been eaten up by fieldcamp and sit test.

BMT life since my last update is...well..like that lor. Had the fieldcamp, which according to my sgt is supposed to be omg-so-shagged, and sit test which is supposed to be omg-even-more-shagged. Of course there's lots of IPPT, SOC, and route marches going on coupled with the usual PT like strength training, speed training and AGR. Did my live range too, so basically I am only left with one last major event for BMT which is the 24km route march.

I realised I kind of enjoy outfield, at least I kind of like my fieldcamp and sit test (when it didn't rain). I mean it's not like I love outfield or what, in fact there are lots of things that I hate about fieldcamp, like all the proning during stand 2, all the tekaning etc, but somehow, time seems to pass much faster. Like during fieldcamp, an entire afternoon can be spent on practising fire movement or urban ops stuff, and admist all the waiting, eating (yes eating!), and getting scolded by sgts, the afternoon is over just like that.

And I loooove sit test, not for the test itself, but for all the free time we had. The test usually ends at 12+ and it's free time for the rest of the day! And it's quite nice to sit around and talk cock while munching on the biscuits from the accessory pack.

Somehow we just eat so so much during fieldcamp and sit test that we think we will gain weight after fieldcamp. Speaking of food during fieldcamp, I absolutely love the desserts in our combat rations, especially the red bean with wintermelon and red bean with logan. i LOVE the peanut with lotus roots too. I love the oat digestive biscuit in the accessory pack too, oh and the fruit bars! It's kind of funny that before the sit test, some of my bunkmates and I were talking about how excited we are about sit test cause we get to eat field rations again.

Live range was another slack affair. It's a lot of sitting around and waiting, and of course, eating (again). Thank god for the ninja van for selling all the snacks and stuff if not I think I would have died of boredom. I did pretty ok for my day shoot, scoring 15/16, but I am such a bobo shooter at night scoring only 6/16. But as long as I passed I'm happy.

Can't say the same for my IPPT though. Had my IPPT last mon, I was quite glad that I've improved in all stations, chin ups from 0 when I first enlist to 7 now, and 2.4 from 13.12 to 10.58. Sadly, I just can't jump. The sgt was like "JUMP LIKE A FROG!!" when I went for the IPPT re-test with Kestrel coy on fri, but no matter how hard I tried I still can't pass lar. I was quite touched though when almost all my platoon mates who went for the retest was encouraging me and telling me I can do it. It's funny that there's 2 of us from the platoon that can't pass SBJ, and no one really cared about the other person.

Speaking of "that person", I am really amazed at how NS can make me re-evaluate myself as a person. I used to think I am a very mild-tempered person, with a very high level of tolerance. I guess I was wrong, cause "that person" actually made me do things I don't think I would usually do. I really really cannot stand "that person" (and I think the same can be said for almost the whole platoon), and I think he's the first person that can make me say such sacarstic comments right in his face. I mean normally I just keep those comments to myself, but with him, it just comes out of my mouth, there's no control.

10 more days to POP and I can't wait to get that person completely out of my life. I swear if he manage to get into OCS, I would absolutely completely lose faith in how our army operates. That being said, though I certainly won't miss him, I am sure I would miss my bunkmates and platoonmates for sure. I would miss Rocky Hill Camp for the serenity. I would miss my big big bunk compared to those at Ladang. I would even miss some of my commanders.

10 more days, hope it's a memorable 10 days.

Confinement

//Confinement//

So I had my first taste of how confinement feels like.

Well, at least it was the entire company being confined.

Today is book out day. Today is also book in day.

When we first heard the rumour on Monday, everyone is devasted, but somehow when the official announcement was made on Thursday, I was kind 0f okay with it. In fact, for some weird arcane reason, everyone's spirits were rather high on Friday. Maybe not everyone, but the people around me were zi-highing.

Booking in in 2 hours time, and I won't be back for 2 full weeks. Will be having my fieldcamp from 25th Jan to 30th Jan. The commanders are making the fieldcamp sound so so scary, don't know what to expect actually, the only thing I asked for is that we won't make some stupid mistakes and get confined again.

On a sidenote, I want to watch Cloverfield! Hope it's still on when I book out on 2nd Feb.

51 days to POP

Home

//Home//

Went back to Hwa Chong right after I booked out on Friday night for the J1 O1 campfire. It feels weird walking up to the class bench again, the last time I did that was on 22nd Nov.

Standing at the Central Plaza again feels great. Even the dark night sky looks better than the one in Tekong. Singing the familiar songs, dancing the familiar mass dance, it feels good, but I know very well in my heart that it's just a fleeting moment kind of thing, I mean afterall, I have already graudated, I am already a NSF. Looking at the J1s running around in their Orientation T-shirt, I feel nothing but envy.

Sitting at my favourite spot at the class bench feels surreal. I mean just a few hours before that I was still sitting in my bunk waiting to get out. 心态上的落差感真的很大。

Witnessed the "watermelon-smashing" ceremony for 08S71. They seem like a cool bunch of people. I think the best part of going back is still seeing 06s71, though only a miserable 6 other poeple turned up. Learnt some shocking news, like Hannah is now teaching at Nanyang Primary! Saw Miss Wong and Gene Tan too, they haven't changed much, I mean it's been only a few months.

Will be going back in a few more weeks time I guess to get results. Nerve-wrecking.

When It All Falls Apart

//When It All Falls Apart//

And it's been yet another week in Tekong.

First day in Tekong after the book in on Sunday night is pretty bad. My theory is that they purposely chose to tekan us badly on this day because they think we are fresh from the bookout, no muscle aches and so on, so at least we can do standard pushups and so on. Imagine them tekaning us on Friday, with more than half the people doing half-fucked pushups because of the muscle ache from a week of training.

The funny thing is while we were being tekan in the Parade Square outside the cookhouse, staring at the red ground on the parade square at one moment doing pushups, then staring at the starry dark morning sky at the next moment doing that shutter kick or something, the song that was playing on the radio in the cookhouse was this...

I'm having a day from hell
It wasn't all going so well
- When It All Falls Apart (The Veronicas)

And it became sort of the theme for the day, and the entire day did sort of became the day from hell.

Subsequent days were defintely much better though. I looove the long long admin time at night after RO. I espeically love the moment when I lie down on my bed to sleep, cause it feels that the day is officially over and I'm one day closer to bookout day.

Went out with my section mates today for lunch, sort of as a farewell for mark who's posted out since he's already down pes, and as a opportunity for us to see wai kit too. Section 2, down to 11 people from the original 13.

It's quite an eye-opener, or rather it's quite interesting to hear from some of them about who they dislike in the platoon and so on.

I feel really lucky to be in section 2, cause I think among all the not-so-pleasant people in the whole platoon, or to put it more crudely, among all the people I dislike in the platoon, none of them are from section 2.

59 days to POP. 1 more bookout before my fieldcamp. Feeling kind of nervous about the fieldcamp.

Anticipation

//Anticipation//

My bunkmate was telling me the best part about booking out is not the actual bookout, but the anticipation of it, especially a few hours just before the bookout. I agree wholeheartedly because we always hype things up to make ourselves feel better.

Likewise, the worst part of booking in is not the part where we fall in at Pasir Ris Interchange at the stipulated timing. The worst part is the few hours right before booking in as you are about to change out of your civilian clothing into your smart 4. The transition from civilian to soldier is indeed painful.

On a side note, we were asked to bring a photo in during our last book in, and I wanted to bring a photo of my cute cousin mao mao. Unfortunately, to my horror, I can't find a photo of him! (aside from those in the comp that is)...so in the end, I brought in this photo!


I can't find a family photo, SJAB photo or anything, so this is the closest and most significant photo I can find that actually means something to me.

1 more week to 1 month anniversary of enlisting.

65 days to POP.

2008

//2008//

So this is Christmas
And what have you done
Another year over
And a new one just began
- Happy Christmas War Is Over (John Lennon)

I know Christmas was over already, but the lyrics is still quite apt. Another year over, and a new one just began.

What have you done in the past year?

2007 flew by just like that, from the very beginning of the year, the thought of A levels has been weighing on all our minds. Then it was block test after block test and before we knew it, it was prelims already. The year was filled with lots of mugging, but still it was bearable and enjoyable cause of the company I get.

Both JC and NS take up 2 years of our life, but I think the biggest difference between the 2 is one will fly by very quickly while the other will slowly crawl past bit by bit.

Met up with the class on New Year's eve. We went cycling at ECP, followed by dinner at Crystal Jade at Suntec and dessert at MOF (ministry of food) at Marina Square. Seeing them again really make me miss the class bench and school in general.

Booking in in 7 hours time. Bookout times always pass so so fast. I don't know if I will be able to book out the next weekend or not since the supposedly remedial training is beginning for those that fail the IPPT cat test.

70 days 12 hours and 7 min 30 seconds to POP! Feels awfully similar to that time when I'm counting down to the start of A levels, cause I only started counting down to A levels with about 70 + days left. A levels have came and gone, let's just hope BMT will too!