2:03 AM

//Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough//

Now I don't want to lose you
But I don't want to use you
Just to have somebody by my side

And I don't want to hate you
I don't want to take you
But I don't want to be the one to cry

That don't really matter to anyone anymore.
But like a fool I keep losing my place
And I keep seeing you walk through that door

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby, sometimes love just ain't enough

Now I could never change you
I don't want to blame you
Baby you don't have to take the fall

Yes I may have hurt you
but I did not desert you
Maybe I just want to have it all

It makes a sound like thunder it makes me feel like rain
And like a fool who will never see the truth
I keep thinking something's gonna change

And there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are
Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough
Baby, sometimes, love... it just ain't enough

- Patty Smyth & Don Henley

non, je ne regrette rien

3:04 PM

//Growing Up//

So I went back to school today, both high school and jc.

As much as I'm still grateful towards some of my teachers for what they've done for me, I'm just not comfortable with seeing them, at least not 1 to 1. To me, they may be that one great teacher, but to them, I'm probably just one of their many students who've graduated. So I don't want to show up unexpectedly, and let the conversation drift into a "so how's life" kind of thing with awkward silences in between. That's why I always prefer to look for teachers when I'm in a group, at least I wouldn't need to be mentally drained to think of ways to keep the conversation going.

But that's beside the point.

So yes, I went back to chinese high, mainly to see my st john juniors (who are so so so much younger than me) train for zone comp. According to jeremy, the trainers are cui (in content knowledge as well as ability to teach). Hence, the trainees are cui.

But yea, unlike him, I wasn't really there to help improve the situation. I always remember when I was a trainer and trainee, I hated it when seniors (who have graduated) come back. Aside from the pressure I get with them around, I just think different people have different training styles, so by having inputs from so many people, it actually makes matters worse. So I went just to take a look and show some moral support.

I must say for that short duration I was there, it really brought back a lot of memories. I must say as a trainee, I was never confident in my own abilities then, but with support from the team mates, a lot of hardwork and some luck, we managed to pulled through, which is why the current batch of comp team reminded me of our batch in a lot of ways. I saw a lot of uncertainty in them, a major lack of confidence, but I also some glimpses of determination and the desire to want to do better. I hope with that, they can go a long way, regardless of the outcome of the competition.

I was much more confident in the position of a trainer than trainee. I really did believe in my ability in teaching and inspiring them. I don't know how much of my long and naggy commentaries (after each case or footdrill procedure) actually went into their head, but I tried to give constructive comments that really help them improve. And it was really far more satisfying seeing the team I trained got champion for national comp, than getting the 2nd runner up myself. So yes, my point is, the trainers are very important too. And I cannot disagree with Jeremy's comments about the trainers from what I see yesterday. Oh well, I can only hope for the best.

And yes, the main reason for me going back school yesterday was for the J1 orientation, which wasn't any of our business actually, but considering how free I am, I went back with some of my classmates.

Seeing the JC1s being so enthusiastic and all that, made me feel...(I won't say old) jealous. There they are, the most exciting and packed 2 years of their life about to commence, and here I am, with those 2 years gone, and possibly the most miserable 2 years of my life over too, I'm looking at a year of working and earning $$ and all that. I am not denying it can be quite an experience depending on the jobs, but it's just all these jobs applications, overseas trips with friends, keeping track of my own accounts, the 21st birthday parties and all that, that make me feel like I'm being pushed into the adulthood, and that I'm actually growing up. No more fun school life, no more oppressive and depressing army life, this is it.

And it is the inevitability of it all that makes it slightly unsettling.

Looking ahead, the year will be all about working, going on trips, and eventually university. But I guess to sum it all up, the year ahead will be all about growing up.

I've lots of growing up to do.

non, je ne regrette rien

12:53 AM

//Japan & Taiwan//

Wow, it's been quite a while.

So...I'm back from Japan and Taiwan! (though this is like...1 month old news).

The Japan trip was pretty....surreal, looking back now. To quote chuanhan/xinwei who said this on the first day of the trip at changi airport, "when we look back, it will be like a dream".

I still remember chuan han, xinwei and I were like "we're going japan!" every 10 minutes all the way from changi airport to KL airport to Narita airport. We couldn't believe it was actually happening, and for me, it was especially weird, considering I was still in camp 2 days before that. I was like "2 days ago, I was in mandai hill, now, I'm in Japan!"

So 12 days flew by just like that. It was fun...and tiring...considering how early we wake up and how late we sleep, and more importantly, how much we walk! But every moment of it was worth it. I especially love the cold yet sunny weather in Japan, the weather's almost too perfect for me. I will also remember the Japanese people and their impeccable dress sense. And Mt Fuji which looks unreal, I mean seriously, it looks EXACTLY like your postcard pictures.

Then came Taiwan.

Compared to Japan, there was no novelty factor for me, so it didn't feel like a holiday trip as much, it was more like a "going-home" trip to me. Everything around seems so familiar, and I know it's cliche, but it almost felt like I never left 3 years ago. But I'm glad I managed to go to a lot of places I wanted to go the other time but did not have a chance. So admist all the familiarity, there were refreshing stuff too.

I especially enjoyed the day I went to CKS Memorial Hall alone, it felt liberating, especially when I'm standing in Zi You Guang Chang alone, just taking in the sights and enjoying a moment to myself. And finding the North Gate finally was a highlight for me too, cause it was something I read about, and have been wanting to go, so though it may not be spectacular or grand, it was still very satisfying to see it with my own eyes (esp since it's so hard to find). I will also be forever thankful for the you ma ma, you ba ba, zhi qun and meng han's hospitality.

And despite it being my 2nd trip to Taiwan, there are still so many places I want to go! So yes, I will be going Taiwan again...sometime in the distant future...

And I wanted to write about what happened in Jan...my job seeking experience etc, but since it's so late...I shall leave it for another time, when the mood strikes (which is rare nowadays).

non, je ne regrette rien

1:32 PM

//Quotes Of The Century//

Wanted to blog about my Japamn trip before I fly to Taiwan, but really too much things to do and too little time. So I will just post some funny quotes from Japan.

Kai Herng: I'm the neatest in my family.

Chuan Han: Clarence, your mum is very skinny one right?
Clarence: Yea, like me.

Kai Herng: Palette town is Ash's hometown right? From pokemon?
Chuan Han: Pokemon is real huh?

Ok...off to Taiwan!

non, je ne regrette rien

8:21 PM

//Goodbye & Hello//

跟带给我痛苦的人挥挥手,
我告别了他们所有,
跟那世界,
Say goodbye, say goodbye, say goodbye...
- Tanya Chua (Goodbye & Hello)

141209.

So it's finally over.

Someone once asked me, what's the difference between 2 years in JC and 2 years in NS?

I mean if you ask me to do a point by point comparison, the list of differences would be never ending. But what I answered him was this.

The 2 years in NS is another life altogether. On 15th Dec 2007, my life was put on hold and I was pushed into a brand new life. The scope of things we were expected to do was very different from what we were used to, the structure of the organisation and how things work was very much different too. So, in a lot of ways, we were very much out of our comfort zone. But just like what I always teach my students about Darwin's theory of evolution, when there's a change, we adapt and only the fittest survive.

And survive we did. Some survived the 2 years with the help of endless status-es, others scraped through with sheer willpower, but the main thing is we did it together.

So before I say goodbye to 2 years of my life, which was filled pain and agony (and I do believe enough has been said about all these agony, that I'm not going to waste another entry on it), I want to remember the people, who were my main source of motivation that got me through my 2 years (esp the 1.5 years in mhc).

I admit I felt quite depressed on 6th Nov. And it's not because people are ORD-ing and I have not, neither was it the whole ORD parade atmosphere that got me feeling that way cause I was way too busy doing the PA and getting pissed at Chris Tay to actually feel anything.

But it's the fact that a lot of my friends are leaving, and I felt that I have not done enough to show them that I cared. And contrary to popular belief, I'm so not that kind that will overtly show my care and concern for people. I cannot bring myself to write love letters like wenqin did, and I don't know what to tell them in a sms like chinhua did.

When wenqin and shanglong were leaving, as much as I was telling them to go, I wanted them to linger around a little longer. I know we all have to move on eventually, yet I wanted that moment to last a little longer. This apparant contradiction in emotion, was the whole reason I was feeling down during those few days, and it took me quite a while to get over.

So I hope this little memory lane thing will make up for it.

To Shang Long: My favourite mao mi!

Thanks for meowing when I feel down, and helping me so much outfield.

I will always remember the time when the 2 of us sitting down together at the carpark near the training shed at the Palm House, with lots of mosquitoes and flies flying around. It was the end of the 16 click route march, and they were doing some hasty defense thing, and S3 and CO just dumped the 2 of us there. And we looked at each other and asked ourselves "why are we doing this" for the zillionth time.

I also remember during ATEC stage 2, we were setting up the SQT at the top of Peng Kang Hill. And after setting up the damn SQT (we have to hammer in the pegs using STONES!), we just sat down/lied down and enjoy the breeze and view. That has got to be the best moment for me in any exercises. Away from the highly stressful CP and away from all scrutinising eyes.

To Chi Weng: My fellow S3 signaller!





I find it very amusing how we always sound so serious when we are actually talk about totally senseless stuff. You may be always sleepy outfield, but we still walked together with S3 for almost every single exercise, and you really did help me a lot (like adjusting my antennas and stuff). It was definitely fun working with you.

There are so many moments that I will remember. Like in Wallaby, we were waiting for S3 in the M113 just before the live firing, and we decided to cook our fav red bean dumpling together, then we started cam whoring and taking weird pictures. I also remember during one of the company exercise, we were attached to S2 to cover safety. The 2 of us were stuck at Old Upper Thomson Road for the entire night, and subsquently we had to ferry like 101 casualties in our tiny landrover.

I guess if there's anything I need to thank perk lun for, it was to put the 2 of us together. I admit you are definitely not the best person to work with especially when it comes to manning comms at night (since you are barely awake). However beyond all that, you brought the much needed joy and laughter, by just being yourself, which was very much needed outfield. And your laidback personality balanced out my tensed up and gan chiong personality, so I guess I can say we make a great team. Seagull duracells FTW!

To Iven Peh: My fellow tutor!

I think we spent the most time at the table in our bunks, with you taking one side of the table and me the other, preparing for our tuition. I must admit it was really a very effective time to pass time in camp, esp during lull period. I will never forget in Wallaby, where we had to mann comms in the M113. The sand and dust + heavily distorted comms + roaring engine of the M113 = disaster. But we still made it happen!

To Wen Qin: My source of all panadols and plasters (and food)!

You are definitely the perfect house husband, I mean the broom you bought is probably the best in the entire battalion. And your cupboard is always fully equipped, whenever I need anything in camp, I am sure I can find it in your cupboard. And it's not just in camp, you are also always fully prepared to supply us with anything ranging from socks to heatpacks during outfield.

The 3 days 2 nights in Lancer during ex Nomad is definitely the most physically demanding thing I had to do in my 2 years in NS. And you went through it together with me! You had no idea how proud I was when the 2 of us managed to complete it, and I was really really happy that you lasted all the way, because if you had fall out or what, I probably wouldn't lasted that long too.

To See Kiat: My fellow singer!

I'm glad I manage to find someone with the same interest as me in camp and I will never forget your attempt to hit that whistle note in "Loving You". I will also never forget that cold cold night in Wallaby, where we had to do sentry followed by manning comms, for 4 hours straight. We even had to go trace lines to Alpha since they were not responding at all.

To Joshua: My fellow "ORD-on-141209" mate!

We almost couldn't ORD today cause OC is not around! Thankfully that didn't happen. I will remember the Jeep course days, and also the Ops Bacinent period, where we always take over and hand over to each other at the same tango. And being the RJC smart guy, you always manage to answer any weird tuition question I throw at you.

And the thing I will remember most about you is your work ethics. I remember just before ex VHF in SI, we had to draw a lot of radio stores, and the 2 of us pratically carried all the RTs up to the 5th storey bunk, making a grand total of 7 trips. I was cussing and swearing inside cause there were quite a few people who were not helping at all, but you were just as zen as ever. You defintely left a very deep first impression with that.

To Chin Hua: My essays editor!

You effectively went through 7-8 drafts of all the essays I have written so far for UCAS and PSC. (and more to come!) I really cannot thank you enough for that, and it's not just the editting, but all the conversations we had about applying overseas, applying scholarships, and what I want to do in general. You have no idea how jealous I am of you because you are so sure of what you want in life. But I guess some people just take longer to figure this out, and well some people lived their entire life without knowing it, so I'm happy for you.

To Shaun Lim: My favourite moobies to grab!

I really hated your guts initially, for quite some time too. But something just happened, maybe you realised or what, and you became a lot easier to get along with. I will always remembe hui hui and jun jun and really, study hard! (my resources are still all free for you to photocopy if you want).

To Kian Hong: My fellow HC schoolmate!

There were 5 of us! Then Aaron went 21 SA, then Yen Shan went Brunei, and Robert went airforce! I really also need to thank you tremendously for helping me so so much with my UCAS and PSC essay, but more importantly the UCL questionaire. It was so last minute, and you were helping me edit it right up to the last minute before we flew to Brunei. You even met up with me outside just to pass me your KI notes and my editted essay.

To Shaun Yap: My bed buddy!

You may have went to S4 branch, but you are always part of the platoon to me. I will always remember coming back to bunk after SOC training and I'll be zi highing with you about how shiok SOC trainings are. I will always remember you and your admin attire (I cannot really remember when was the last time you wore uniform!), and your countdown chart on your cupboard.

To Pang Hua: My fellow cat meow-er!

I will always remember how you always disturb either me, Joshua or Wen Qin at night over your personal problems. Seriously, we have said it to you a lot of times, and I will say it one last time, grow up already! I will never understand your obsession over certain things (and people), but I guess that's what makes you dinstinctly USWO tan pang hua.

To Yong Soon: My fellow SEAH!

Like I wrote in your ORD mag, I am constantly amazed how you will flash this mega watt smile everytime I see you outfield (when I'm like damn shagged already). I will also remember the night up on Mt Biang and our failed attempt at starting a nice sustainable fire. I will also remember your very amusing fishhead curry keychain, and the legendary LuLu.

To Yee Lee: My favourite Line sgt!

"Signal, fall in for lunch, faster faster" x 10 (in an extremely annoying voice). I will never forget that! And who can forget the day you became Cpt Low when you openly f-ck weiliang! And I will always remember how you refused to put down your fieldpack till the entire platoon is back during the 24 click route march. I was impressed!

To Wilson: My BSOOOO!

In all honesty, I think you did a great job as a BSO. But more importantly, I think you were great as a PC. It wasn't easy being our PC, with us being so independent to the extent that we don't really like to take instructions sometimes. Yet somehow, we managed to went through all exercises together, so kudos for that!

So this is it.

I don't know how many of those people above will I keep in contact with in years to come, but we had a memorable 2 years, so that's what I will take away with me.

Time can take away a lot of things, but it cannot take away the memories I have of each and every one of them.

Unlike most people, I never imagined myself to be jumping up and down for joy on my ORD day, neither do I expect fireworks or stuff like that, though I did feel a momentary surge of emotion when I saw my pink IC. But I think this is a fitting end.

So on this note, I guess I can officially say goodbye to the 2 years.

我不回头一步一步往前走,
我找回了我的自由,
对这世界,
Say hello, say hello, say hello...
-Tanya Chua (Goodbye & Hello)

New life, new jobs, infinite possibilities (wow, sounds like the SAF ad!)

Japan and Taiwan awaits me! Can't wait!!

non, je ne regrette rien

12:40 PM

//My Sister's Keeper//

In view of the recent events, I have been thinking a lot about the meaning of life, dealing with deaths and so on. And I think this movie pretty much sums up my thoughts of these issues.

Can't remember the exact quote, but Anna said something along this line, "I wish something good came out from her death, like they named a street after her, or they changed the law for her, but no, it didn't happen, she's gone and life goes on." I like how real the movie is when it comes to dealing with the issue of death.

I didn't cry like most of my friends did, but I think it's definitely a movie that's more than just entertainment, and for me, there's no better time to watch this movie than now. It's a fitting end to a lot of stuff that has been happening lately.

Time to move on.

non, je ne regrette rien

8:14 PM

//Noodles//

I realised I'm happier in camp lately.

I mean...given the fact the freedom is nearing, of course I would feel happier.

I guess the most obvious sign of my relatively better mood in camp would be the pack of "Mee Sedap" in my cupboard. It's been there for....weeks? Almost a month I think?

That's to say I have not cooked and eat noodles in camp for that long. The last time I cooked noodles was the night before I passed my SOC (so peeps, I strongly recommend all to eat noodles the night before any SOC test, it helps!)

Compared to the days where I used to eat 6 packet of noodles in 3 days just to vent my frustrations, I think I can confidently conclude that life is not as f-ed up as it used to be.

At least for now.

On a separate note, my backache seems rather bad this time round. Maybe it's not that bad, but it seems like it's here to stay, and not some fleeting back muscle ache.

non, je ne regrette rien

9:10 PM

//来不及//

过期杂志上登着
太多早逝青春
路人的嘴里
全是对别人生命的揣测
-陈珊妮 (来不及)

We never quite realised how fragile life is.

I think I need to re-evaluate my priorities in life.

non, je ne regrette rien

7:42 PM

//Transition//

It's been almost 2 months since I wrote something in this space. Been busy with quite some stuff during the weekends, with tuition mainly and stuff like the 2 overseas trip right after I ORD.

September was a pretty hectic month in camp, I still remember us lamenting on how bad the month of September would be after we first saw the training programme, with SOC test and 10 click run on the same day, and SOCs and ACCTs back to back , and let's not forget the highlight of the month, which is the 24 click route march followed by the 32 click route march.

So, we bitched, we whined, but we still made it through September in one piece, just like how we surviced through the past 15 months together in this hell hole. In a way, every month was a struggle. Life always look bleak at the start of the month when the training programme first came out, but when it's all over, there's always a feeling of "that's not so bad afterall". But seriously, I cannot even imagine how I can make it through the past 16 months without the people around me. Granted we are not perfect, and most of them annoy me sometimes with some of the things they do (and I'm sure I'm much of an annoyance with my...antics), but they are my source of motivation for pressing on a lot of times. But more importantly, they brought the much needed laughter and joy to the camp, making camp life more tolerable.

I still remember there was a time where almost every entry in this space was about how pathetic my life is in this camp, so much so that I decided to stop blogging about life in camp. And now I'm left with just 2 months here. I won't say time flies, cause well it didn't, like I say every month was a struggle.

But despite the misery this place has brought me, I had this weird sensation when I booked in on Monday night. It was kind of the same feeling I got when I booked out for the first time after I enlist, that feeling I got when I stepped into my house. So as I was walking up the slope into the mustering square that Monday night, I can say I almost felt a little happy. But of course that feeling didn't last too long when retarded things happen as usual come Tues morning and the entire week that follows.

I know it's crazy to feel this way, but I can't say I'm too surprise. As ORD approaches, I guess there's a change in mindset for a lot of people. I was telling my favorite mao mi/shang long (MEOW!) that I'm little apprenhensive about ORD-ing. I told him I'm so used to the current pace of life, the company (and I don't mean support company) I have and I'm so used to having things that are out of my control.

Right now, when life sucks, I can blame the whole world for it, blame the people up there for planning f-ed up training programme, blame my superiors (esp a meatball lookalike) for being bastards. I have the right to do that cause I didn't choose to be here, I didn't choose to serve this 2 years. It's all out of my control.

But come 14th dec, I choose what I want to do (or at least to a very large degree I have the choice). I can't blame anyone anymore. But more importantly, come 14th Dec, there's gonna be a huge degree of uncertainty in life, it's no longer be all planned out for me like how the past 2 years has been.

And any form of uncertainty is definitely unsettling.

And I guess I'm not the only one feeling this way. seekiat was talking to me about this a couple of days ago, and I guess we're kind of on the same page with regards to this. I told him for the past 2 years, we focused so much energy on counting down to our ORD, and on bitching about our current state, that we didn't spend enough energy on worrying about what to do after ORD.

That's not to say we don't have plans after ORD, I'm sure we all have holidays planned, and a rough idea what jobs we are seeking and what we are going to study. It's just that we didn't devote too much of our energy on mentally preparing ourselves for life after ORD. 2 years of communal living and having no control over your life is very very different from 2 years in JC. I guess any transition is not going to be easy.

With all that being said, I still look forward to ORD, and I'm definitely happy about it.

But before that, I just need to get used to the idea of holding a pink ic rather than a green one.

And get used to not having the extremely annoying yet wonderfully entertaining and amazing platoon around me 24/7.

I told shanglong (MEOW!) that I would devote an entry in this space to all the people that mattered to me in the 1.5 years in mhc, citing an encounter or experience that I share with each of them that I found most memorable. I actually kind of have the list in mind already, just waiting for a better time to post it.

non, je ne regrette rien

8:24 PM

//Upcoming Movies//

Just checked the Cathay website and found out the date of release for some of the movies I wanted to watch...

Moon


Date of release: 27 August 2009 (that's like...this thursday!!!)
Comments: This show looks really really promising! Kind of reminds me of "Sunshine" which turns out to be a disappointment, but I have a feeling this will be good. So...any takers?!

Julie & Julia


Date of release: 16th Oct 2009
Comments: Finally the date is released! Like I said before, this looks light-hearted but not too fluffy.

non, je ne regrette rien

7:26 PM

//Calculations//

I went to the kitchen just now to get a drink, and my mum and dad happened to be there. Apparently, they were in a heated debate over some money issues (more of issues with counting the money). So they decided to engage my help.

The conversation went something like that (after translation):

Mum: Xiang ah, I ask you hor, if I bought 12 packs of XXX (i really cannot remember what was the thing she bought), and it costs $132, and now I want to find out how each pack cost, do I divide 132 with 12 or divide 12 with 132?

*me give stunned look, turned to my dad

Me (to my dad): What do you think?

Dad: That's why we are asking you right, we can't figure it out!

*me give even more stunned look

Me: Please la, this is primary school maths.

Mum: So which one is it?!?!

Me: 132 divide by 12 la! For 2 people who are so good at managing their own finance, I'm appalled you 2 can't figure this out.

Dad: Aiya, sometimes it just don't click the right way.

On a separate note, been teaching quite a few students lately. Spending time with JC students, going through JC syllabus and so on, made me feel rather...old. I mean, whenever I see students in uniform, it just brings back memories of my school days, which honestly speaking, didn't feel that distant and long ago, Especially with the recent surge in meet-ups with JC classmates and friends. But whenever during lesson, somehow they all manage to make me feel like I'm some old man, who knows everything about the JC curriculum at the back of my hand.

Love is over
请你不要再说明
过去就像流云
随风飘去无踪影
-欧阳菲菲 (逝去的爱)

It's not quite the feeling of growing up (or older) that makes me feel uneasy. It's the sense of time that is slipping away so rapidly that intimidates me. Just like what the lyrics say, "过去就像流云, 随风飘去无踪影". And it's ever so hard to live in the moment and truly say that I've lived it to the fullest.

Anyway, as fast as time may seem to slip away, ORD date don't seem to be approaching fast enough. Only 4 more months to ORD, but the obstacle that lies between me and my ORD just keeps growing. Well, but to be slightly cliche, "ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley low enough, ain't no river wide enough, to keep me from getting to you". Of course that would literally mean there are tonnes of mountain to climb and river to cross before I can get to my ORD.

Heaven help us all.

non, je ne regrette rien

12:59 PM

//Restless//

Been feeling rather restless the past week.

There were a lot of down time in camp last week...and I love free time for me to nua...but I just keep feeling very restless...

I mean I have things to do. I can make use of the time to prepare for tuition, read a book, read some newspaper, or even sleep! But I just don't feel like doing anything at all. I just don't feel motivated to do ANYTHING, not even sleep. It was so bad to the extent that see kiat has to give me advice on how to take a nap in the afternoon. "Close your eyes and focus all your energy on falling asleep". How ironic.

So when it's finally time to bookout, I was esctatic. But it turns out I'm not faring much better at home than when I'm in camp. I feel equally empty.

"Hopeless emptiness. Now you've said it. Plenty of people are onto the emptiness, but it takes real guts to see the hopelessness."
- Josh Givings (Revolutionary Road)

It's the sense of my life eroding away, and there's nothing I can do about it that scares me. I think for the first time in my 1.5 years in ns so far, the lack of purpose of it all is finally getting to me big time. I'm getting better at my job, but the better I get, the more meaningless it seems. I mean I always felt that what I was doing was meaningless, but I guess it's just becoming more and more apparent with time, and there's not a damn thing I can do except to wait for the day to come.

You got me begging you for mercy
Why won't you release me
- Duffy (Mercy)

I was looking through my friend's photos (taken while on overseas trip) on facebook...and I realised how badly I need a break. I think we all need one, we all deserve a good break from all these nonsense. Sadly, given the circumstance, leaves/offs don't seem to be an option at the moment. I guess I just have to make do.

Maybe it's the photos of the nice beaches, beautiful scenary...I really want to be close to nature (not in a sbo, camou on kind of way of cause). And since overseas leave is not possible now, I decide I will just settle for the tree-top walk! Ever since I went to that area for some navex exercise in Feb, I've been wanting to try out the tree-top walk.

Tree-top walk follows by a nice picnic at some scenic location. Sounds lovely doesn't it? So I smsed terence and cheng about my idea. I was greeted with a "you need a life" and "when when?" response. No prize for guessing who said what.

I guess at the end of the day, it's just one of those mood swings I have. My mood swings is like the cyclical nature of the business cycle. A sine curve. And I happen to be at the bottom at the moment.

I think I shall go run now.

non, je ne regrette rien

6:36 PM

//The Time Traveller's Wife//

Just to add on to the list...



Date of release: Unknown
Comments: I just hope this movie doesn't end up like most movies adapted from books, which usually end up being disappointment.

non, je ne regrette rien

4:53 PM

//Movies 2009//

Looking at the left side column, you would realise that I've only watched 4 movies so far this year (of which, one isn't even watched in the cinema), and it's already june!

So I decided to take note of some upcoming movies that I'm going to watch when it comes out later this year...

Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince


Date of release: 16 July 2009
Comments: I shouldn't have problem finding people to watch this with me...but..well..I couldn't find anyone to watch Angels & Demons with me...so I better start finding people...like now.

Up


Date of release: 6th August 2009
Comments: I usually love Pixar animated movies. "Cars" & "Ratatouille" were my favourite movies in 2006 and 2007 respectively. "Wall.e" in 2008 wasn't bad either, so I definitely have high hopes for this.

The Proposal


Date of release: 20th August 2009
Comments: Looks funny enough from the trailer, and I always love light-hearted movies. But if I can't find people to watch this with me, I guess I won't mind watching it on the comp either.

My Sister's Keeper


Date of release: Unknown
Comments: Seems emo enough, and to most, probably boring bah. I guess whether I watch this in the cinema depends on when it comes out, if it's a season with no movies to watch at all, I may very well catch it in the theatres alone, if not, it's another one of those movies that I will enjoy from the comforts of my room.

Shutter Island


Date of release: Unknown
Comments: Definitely intriguing, the trailer kind of reminds me of "V for Vendetta", "Lost" & "Harper's Island" all mixed into one. Any takers for this?

Julie & Julia


Date of release: Unknown
Comments: This seems light-hearted without being too cliche and corny. Meryl Streep is a definite plus point to watch this too. I think I can already guess who would be interested in this movie.

New York, I Love You


Date of release: Unknown
Comments: Looks promising, but probably not worth the 10 bucks bah.

500 Days Of Summer


Date of release: Unknown
Comments: Reminds me of the movie "Amelie", only a bit less artsy. The concept of jumping around the 500 days should be interesting in this movie. I think I would want to catch this in the theatres.

The Ugly Truth


Date of release: Unknown
Comments: Light-hearted yes, but seems a bit too fluffy, so not sure too if it's worth the $$$ to catch it in the theatres. I guess timing of when this movie comes out is important too.

non, je ne regrette rien

10:22 PM

//Jurong Island//

As my 3 week driving stint in jurong island is nearing an end...there are some things I feel like I have to record it down here...

1) I hate to make small talks
Having drove for both bravo and charlie, I must say that being stuck in a small little confined space with someone you barely know for 3 patrols per duty, 1 hour+ for each patrol (it almost feels a little too clastrophobic for me) is NOT FUN at all.

With some luck, I may get a vehicle with the aircon working (which is extremely important for day shifts). However, that's as good as it can get. Because other than enjoying the aircon, the rest of the 3 hours+..is just filled with awkward silence.

Let's be real, how long can a conversation with someone you barely know last?

It usually goes like this...first, we will talk about the past. We will find out each other's name and school. Then the topic will turn to which BMT company we were from, and that's where we start dropping names, like "oh you know so and so? he's from your company/school!" And if we are fortunate enough, we would have some common friends, whom we can talk about in order to prolong this awkward agony.

So after talking about our past, we would proceed to talk about the present! Questions like "what platoon you are from" will pop up. And once it's revealed that I'm from signal platoon, the first thing they will all ask is "oh..so what you all do" (it's so so standard that I think I repeated the same answer at least 6 times already) This is the point where I will proceed to try to make the conversation more interesting by bitching about my ex-PC (whom none of them know) and share the story of how my entire platoon is being dragged to this shithole (I think I repeated this story at least 4 times). Then since they ask what we do, of course I will briefly explain our jobscope, and naturally, after they find out XX is my boss (where XX = mr.seagull), the first question they always ask is "is he f-ed up". This is where all the juicy stories (well not exactly juicy...but exciting to a certain extent for them I guess) about our respective bosses will come out, like how YY hates to camou, how ZZ makes his signaller fills his water bottle, how QQ just throw the handset into the tall grasses and expect his signaller to find it...

Once both of us finished sharing stories (actually it's usually me), we will proceed to talk about the future! What school are you going, what are you studying. I dread this part the most. Cause there's NOTHING to talk about. Not that there's nothing to talk about, but I don't see a point in sharing my whole story of getting a place in UCL but not getting a scholarship with them, so my answer always end up being one line "NUS, studying business and communications".

So after all this, about half an hour would have elapsed. Then random questions that I hate the most will start appearing periodically for the next 2.5 hours or so. One that I hate particularly is "What do you do when you book out?" I mean what am I supposed to answer? Erm, I eat, I sleep, I go out with friends? "To do what" will be their response to my answer of going out with friends, and I would end up answering "erm...to eat lo." So it just makes the whole situation even more awkward. I guess I'm just a boring person and bad conservationalist, so asking this question is like the kiss of death seriously.

However, thank god...for most of them, they will just start to fall asleep when conversation runs dry...

Well, looking on the bright side, at least now I totally have no problems with driving and talking at the same time. I'm horrible at multi-tasking...so this is a big improvement for me!

2) I learnt how to change tyres
Not that I don't know how to change, I always knew how to change a tyre...the steps that is, but I never quite had to change my own tyres. So unfortunately (or fortunately), my virgin tyre changing experience had to be on jurong island. Well to be fair, I probably did like 20-30% of the work, ian gan did the rest...well but no one can beat joshua's record of changing tyres 3 times in that 1 day.

3) Always remember to bring the fuel card when you go to top-up.
It's super embarassing when I went to top up fuel for my vehicle with bravo csm , only to realise at the petrol station that I left the fuel card in the bunk. Thank god he looked more amused than pissed when I told him I forgot to bring the card.

4) Jurong Island is pretty at night.
I think I mentioned this before, but it's actually really quite pretty at night. It reminds me of Atlantis in the show "Stargate Atlantis". But of course it's prettier when I was on fam course, cause back then, I don't need to drive. Now, when I'm doing day shift, I would be too busy with trying to get back to the base as soon as possible after my duty ends to really look around, and when I'm doing night shift, I would be too sleepy while driving to appreciate the beauty around. And of course it comes with extremely bad air (central sector really stinks!), and it's so bad that when I wipe my face with a wet tissue, you see black stains.

5) Charlie is really a heaven in this hell that we are in.
To quote myself "don't you just love charlie?"

6) Dogs can run as fast as a military vehicle.
Serious. I'm not joking. Are the dogs fast or are the military vehicles slow?

Anyway, I'm kind of dreading going back. I call it the post-out-of-shithole-for-too-long syndrome. After you leave a shitty place for some time, going back to that same place will make it seem exceptionally shitty. And everytime I return to that place after a period of absence, I am ALWAYS greeted with guard duty...weekend guard duty somemore. And this time even more power, sunday guard duty 3 days after I return, and a 4 days outfield 1 day after that guard duty.

non, je ne regrette rien