Past & Future

//Past & Future //

Watched "Cars" last Saturday, I must say it's one of the best animated films I've watched in a while. What makes it so good for me is the story line, and not the humour quotient, because I can immediately think of lots of other animated films that are funnier than "Cars".

But the thing that appeals to me the most about this movie is "feeling of getting away". The little town Radiator Springs that Lightning McQueen ended up at seems like the perfect little town for a short getaway, getaway from the mundane life here. The graphics are breathtaking, and I find myself gasping at the beautiful scenary. It looked this real.



I have always fantasized about going away to some far far away places, some little towns, or the countryside, somewhere peaceful I guess...and this idea is totally so tempting and appealing when I'm burnt out from all the work..when I feel emotionally drained trying to do everything from CCA to studies to family...

I haven't had this feeling for a long time, but watching this movie just sort of rekindles that little spark in me...so since getting away to a far far away place is totally impossible at the moment right now, especially with block tests coming up, I can only settle for the second best right now.

A St John camp in school.

I guess it can be considered a little getaway for me, I'm out of my house at least, and I loved the school compound (as in the high school side), and especially so at night, late at night. It is just so peaceful and tranquil, so I did get to go to "somewhere peaceful" like I wanted I guess...

It was a fun 3 days...when mw yc and i climbed out of the gates on mon night to go out to 7-11 to buy stuff...I can't remember when was the last time we did this together...if I'm not wrong, it was in sec 1, when we had to go for the hike to Toa Payoh at 3 am in the morning...

The late night mugging session together was memorable too, I mean how often do you mug together with your good friends in the middle of the night like 3+ , in a school classroom somemore...but I believed we did eat more than we study...from all the snacks to leftover rice from dinner, I think it's hard for me not to get fat now...

Lying down in the street soccer court at 1+...talking to yc while sending the sec 2s one by one off for their confidence trail....that was really a peaceful moment. Imagine 10+ people, all lying in the street soccer court, no one is talking at all, and as you lay there looking up at the night sky, all you hear is nothing basically...that's Hwa Chong at night...for the past 80+ years...it's been the same every single night...and there you are...being a part of it...

Almost all the people I have talked to prefered secondary sch to jc...for all the different reasons....from studies to cca to friends...is jc really that bad? For me, I actully do enjoy my jc life a lot, maybe i didn't really had tt good a secondary sch experience...i mean i LOVE tchs...the school compound, the teachers...i guess i just didn't really live it to the fullest...cause nothing really makes me wanna turn back in time and go back to secondary sch life except st john...

In the street soccer court, yc asked me what's the single most memorable experience in my 4 years in tchs...and my mind went blank for that moment...he told me his was the Perth Trip...and I began thinking about my Yunnan trip...which was fun and really cool, but it didn't strike me as the "most memorable experience" type...then what came to my mind after that was the St John camps...so without thinking much...I told him the sec 1 st john camp was the most memorable...cause of the "shock" factor...I didn't know what to expect...so it did shock me, and scenes from that camp is still fresh in my mind....

now...thinking back on that question...i m starting to remember more stuff....projects day grand finals in sec 4...the Passing out parade in 2004 (when we became NCOs)...the passing out parade in 2005 (when we passed on to the next batch)...zone comp....nat comp....

National comp would be my answer. Nothing beats the moment when the results were announced. Screwing up and still getting 3rd is pretty impressive huh? (though i'm not particularly proud of the fact that we screwed up..)

The place in High school that I missed the most is definitely the EP3 block....definitely...since it doesn't exist anymore. I'm glad they didn't totally demolised the whole building...cause there are just too much memories there...

I shall stop with all the nostalgic stuff...no point keep thinking about the past right? We should all learn to look forward to our future...and looking forward now...I see nothing in my future except....

Block test.

If block test is all I see in my future, then i wouldn't hesitate to say that my future seems rather bleak...really bleak in fact...

I keep trying to convince myself that I should not mug so hard for this test, cause what's the point really? Mug so hard...if the effort translates to grades...then I probably get As and Bs...then what? Yes I will be happy with good grades...who wouldn't?

But I failed...I couldn't convince myself...there's still a part of me telling me that I should mug hard...put in my best effort...not to slack...

It's like a struggle...angel VS devil...so I tried to study...but half-heartedly...really slowly...but somehow...this time round... I more or less can forsee what kind of grades I will get...study or not...it will be lousy...I really don't know what kind of questions to expect...

It sucks...to know that no matter how hard you study...you will get sucky results (this is not the sucky part)...yet you can't stop yourself from feeling the need to study (this is the sucky part)...and when you don't study...you feel damn guilty...

Shall stop ranting about block test now...to much sad/bad stuff in this entry...shall end it off with something happier...

Another friend of mine just got attached! Love makes the world go round huh? Haha...and they look compatitable together...all the best!

"I want to go back..."

//"I want to go back..."//

Don't you just feel like going back in time to relive some of the more memorable experiences in your life....

Meng seems to enjoy the thailand ocip trip so much that he wishes to go back (as seen in his msn nickname)...in fact i've heard nothing but good things about the thailand trip...

Kai Herng seems to have enjoyed himself during this attachment to IBM for his SRP...at least he told me "the whole thing is quite fun...except for one thing" (which of course I won't mention here)...

My attachment at SCS was really fun too...if not for the block tests, I wouldn't mind staying on for 2 more weeks over there, even doing SG work for them is pretty fun cause we get to meet all kinds of people everyday (especially at the welfare and hospice homecare dept)...

I decided not to write too much about the SCS attachment, I think I had written enough in the reflection booklet that needs to be handed in...uploading pictures would be much easier and it would says so much more...


The legendary SG room in the welfare department where all the welfare work are done...


The welfare department people...Melissa, Jay, Shaun, Karl, me, Sylvia and Wendy...(from left to right)

Melissa likes to go around poking guys, cause Jin Juan has the theory that guys who are scared of tickling will be good husbands next time..-_-...she actually studied "Social Work" in university....which makes me go wow...I didn't know there was such a course, or that you need to spend so many years in university studyin about social work to be a social worker...

Jay literally gave us an sexual education lesson...when he saw us reading the article entitled "LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX!" in a magazine after lunch(found on SCS waiting area table somemore...) As one of the girls is really curious about lots of stuff...Jay gave us the sex ed lesson...lol...in a professional way somemore...cause he studied "Psychology" in university...the lesson is really in depth...without being too graphic or obscene...lol

Shaun is a medical student in NUS right now, working temp at SCS since it's his holidays now...+ he has a ex Hwa Chong gf right now who is also studying medicine in NUS...

Karl...well..is just Karl...

It's really good in the sense that they all studied different things in university yet they all end up doing the same job...a social worker..and it's interesting to listen to Jay and Melissa talk about their experiences from their previous jobs...it was a good chance for me to know more about career options and stuff...since I don't really have a concrete idea what I wanna be next time, or even what I want to study...


(From left to right) Wendy, me, Amelia, Janice, Sylvia, Jin Juan and Hwee Ping.

Janice was really nice to us too, and she talked to us a lot about what she studied in university (economics) and how she ended up being doing a Public Relations job...and it's exciting to listen to Amelia and Hwee Ping (from Fund raising department) talk about the fund-raising projects they had....


The hospice homecare nurses: Mee Hong, Poon Kuan & Mui Hong...

I took the most number of taxi rides I had in my life with Mee Hong....6 taxis in 7 hours....from Tanjong Pagar to Ang Mo Kio to Yishun to Tampines to Pasir Ris....visited 6 patients in 1 day...all with different types of cancer...it's really a cool experience....and out of the 12 patients that Jin Juan and I visited in those 3 days...2 passed away during the time of our attachment....it makes me feel like we are cursed or something...and it's like we see her on Mon..she passed away on Tue...the other patient we saw her on Tue...she passed away on Wed....I didn't even get to see so much deaths in the hospital attachment to NUH A&E Department last time in St John...



These are the little gifts we gave them on our last day....it's nice...yet it don't cost a single cent! Jin Juan just moved house...so she got lots of tiles at home, so she just brought them, and we drew on them...and wrote messages at the back...and it's obvious I didn't take part in the drawing process...if I did..the tiles wouldn't be so nice anymore....

Life Path Number

//Life Path Number//

Your Life Path Number is 4

Your purpose in life is to build your vision. You are practical and responsible. You work hard, knowing that there are no shortcuts in life. You work for a better life for yourself and those you love, but you are not an idealist. Trustworthy and honest, you also demonstrate great courage. People can count on you. In love, you are a loyal and committed partner. You are the ideal spouse. You don't give up easily, and sometimes you can be too stubborn and unwilling to change. You also can be too conservative at times. You sometime miss out on good opportunities. Also remember that not everyone can work as hard as you, as disappointing as that is!

What Is Your Life Path Number?

The whole description is actually quite true...except the hardworking part. But I used to be hardworking...so I guess the hardworking part is true to a certain extent too...the real problem with the description is the "you also demonstrate great courage" part...I don't really think I do...

The stubborn and unwillingness to change part is spot on, and the conservative at times, causing me to miss out on good opportunities part...very true...but you must note...i am conservative at times....not always...

Jamie Cullum

//Jamie Cullum//

I have wanted to change my blog template for a long long long time since god knows when, but each time I tried, I gave up half way through...

I'm a very picky person, I wanted to choose a template that somehow potrays the feeling of "Lost", be it a endless road, lots of road signs etc, and in fact, I've found lots of nice templates, but they all belong to the "navigation" type, meaning you will have to click to view my entries, click on another link to see the tag board etc, and I don't like this kind of template. I prefer the "everything-appears-in-single-page" type.

And being very picky, I will always find flaws with the template, I may dislike the scroll bar colour, I may hate the cursor look, etc, and sadly, my HTML skills is as good as my Maths, so I can't really edit them to my liking...

So after so long, I finally gave up on finding a blog template that suits all my requirments cause I simply can't find it, and I change my search to something else..."Jamie Cullum", since I happen to be listening to his album at the moment, and I realised I quoted lots of his lyrics in my entries...so tada! This is the first template that I found...

I like the template itself, as in the arrangement of everything, the tagbox, links at the side etc, clearly divided by boxes etc...more so than the banner on top. So I tried to change the banner on top to something else, a picture that I really really liked a lot, but it turns out a bit plain, so I decided to stick with this banner....

I really wanted to blog about the TAG experience at SCS, but...somehow...I just don't know what to write...it would be boring to just give an recount of what went on, furthermore i've exhausted all my reflections on the diary thing that the teachers ask us to keep...

On a different note...I FOUND MY BROTHER'S BLOG!!! Lots of dark secrets there!! HAHAHA!!! And guess how I found it? You see the bravenet counter on the left? There is a "referrer" function, meaning I can see how people came to my blog, whether it is a direct hit, or it is linked from other blogs or what, so I saw this blog that linked here, so I went to check it out, and it's his!!!

Speaking of the referrer thing, there are weird people out there who search for weird things, and tada! They came to my blog!

Examples:
Mann Ying
HC Taekwondo
04S71

So they are people out there...who is so no life that they searched for "HC Taekwondo"?? And mann ying...be careful...you've got a stalker!!! And I wonder why would someone search for "04S71"..if he/she is in 04S71...how can he/she not know the class blog address? If he/she is not, then search for what?

I guess boredom can cause people to do weird stuff...

Cancer, Birthday & A Wedding!

//Cancer, Birthday & A Wedding!//

Attachment to Singapore Cancer Society (SCS) was fantastic, really glad I signed up for it. Met lots of great people, and I learnt so much from them, not just what they do in SCS, their job scoops etc, but career guidance in general, and lots of interesting and funny stuff...in fact i' went to Jay's wedding yesterday (one of the staff at SCS)..it's great...will update again about the attachment and the wedding some time soon...

Birthdays are important. I know, I walked out of my last one and it never occurred to me that I wouldn't get another. She may not know it but she needs to celebrate her birthday, we all do. Don't take it for granted.
- Charmed

This is actually something I wanted to blog about since 7th June, but there's quite a lot of stuff going on in my mind, like the block test i have not yet started studying AT ALL, the call to National Heritage Board to request for interview for PW which I obviously haven't made, the empty survey forms that are not filled up, the meeting minutes for PW that are pilling up, the reflections for attachment that are not complete...whenever I sit down and try to write something, nothing comes out...this is the 3rd time I tried to write an entry on birthday...

See...I've already digressed so much from the topic itself, tell me how to pass GP like that? How to pass GP huh? But I'm starting to feel the stress...everyday, people would ask me questions on MSN, what is this, how to do this question..etc..and I try my best to answer them, but guilt hit me each time when they ask me any questions. I tried to use the attachment as an excuse for not studying, so that I feel less guilty, but still, I have time at night to study, I just choose to idle them away...

Ok, I really digress too much already...so birthdays...yea..they are special aren't they? That very day...you were born!! But I never really took it very seriously ever since I came to secondary sch, I would look forward to it yes, but most of the time, it just feels like a really normal day to me...for the past 4 years, my birthdays have been quite plain and normal (except sec 2), I was either at St John camp (sec 1), St John training (sec 4) or it was so so forgettable that I forgot what I did that day (sec 3)...*after writting the whole entry, I remembered what I did that day!!!!! 6th June was First Aid National Comp, 7th June I was too tired so I spent the whole day at home slacking! I think...but winning 2nd runner up is probably the best present all these years...

I don't usually get presents from anyone including family (other than once from my sis and once from yc, meng and terence), I don't usually get birthday smses (other than a few sjab squad mates..and zhiyong i think)...I do get birthday cakes, but I hate the sing song cut cake part, cause though I may appear a bit attention seeking at times, I hate the limelight...so people sining birthday songs for me...looking at me cut the cake...makes me feel awkward and uneasy, like I want to find a hole and and just hide myself inside..

I got used to it actually, it's nothing to get sad over really, since I never tell anyone about my birthdays anyway...(but who would go around advertising your own birthdays anyway?)..and there are people out there suffering a much worse fate than me...so I can't really complain..

So looking at the quote up there..."Birthdays are important, don't take them for granted", it didn't really feel much to me...maybe it did, but what can I do? My life is that boring, and not even a birthday will spice it up....

But working at SCS over the past 2 weeks, especially the first 3 days, where we met so many cancer patients, seeing how unpredictable life can be, how misfortune may just strike anytime, that quote meant so much more to me...

This year, things are a little different, I got a record breaking 19 smses!! Lol..a couple of MSN greetings, a E-card and a HAND MAKE CARD! Haha...got presents from my classmates too...like all of them...how can I not like them when most of the stuff they gave me are the stuff I wanted anyway...so I can say I'm a pretty happy man that day...

Let me recall how it started...I woke up...I saw 3 smses...I wash up and get ready, went Heartland Mall to get chocolates for the 3 of them cause Wendy bought chocolates and sweets on her birthday too, then went down to SCS. Spent the morning writing the article that Janice requested for...



Yes, that was me typing while Jing Juan was slacking and sleeping...see..her head so big it block me till I can't type lor...

Then in the afternoon after lunch, went over to the Public Education department, after some briefing, what was there for us to do?? SG!! SAIGANG!! Spent the rest of the time keying in feedback form results, and for some weird reason, we need to key in the name, address, emaill add, tel no...in addition to the results, I mean why bother? But nevermind, since we were told to do so, we did...till 6.20 pm before we left...

Met my classmates at Kovan MRT at 7 pm, I wanted to go home, bath then meet them, but too bad, the SG work ended so late...so I was feeling super tired...my energy level was really low at that point...

The time spent at my house...well, I guess my house is as boring as me and my life, it's all connected....so yar...you get the picture...some of us entertained ourselves by playing Mahjong and bridge...those who don't...well...I guess they died of boredom....haha...

The stayover...was HORRIBLE for me!! I can barely keep my eyes open at 11pm liaoz, can you imagine...I was literally playing mahjong with my eyes close...I only open my eyes when I hear the mahjong hit table sound...to check if i want that tile...but I managed to last till 5+...which is not bad...

So poof..my birthday's over...time really flies when you're enjoying yourself...well I guess not haha..since I spent most of the time that day doing SG work...but this year's birthday is quite different, and definitely a memorable one...at least I will never forget all the funny funny weird weird names I entered while keying in the feedback data....

Fund Raising

//Fund Raising//

Daily updates: Another patient that I visited during the home visits on Tuesday passed away today. This is pretty unexpected, cause her condition is considered stable when we visited her on Tuesday.

This time round, the reaction is surprise rather than sadness. Maybe cause the patient's quite old already, or it could be I'm starting to get numb to all these news.

Was attached to the Fund raising department today. When the person briefing us on Monday told us that we would help in some of fund-raising projects on Thursday, I was quite skeptical cause I don't think there's much we can do in 1 day. I was so wrong.

We were supposed to help sell some home-made cards and so on made by this patient's wife in our school...and we had to plan it now...cause this patient, he can't work, so can't his wife, cause she had to take care of him, their son, and her mother-in-law (who've got stroke)...

So spent the entire afternoon watching some videos from the charity show from the last 2 years, and drafting the proposal...

I can't believe I cried so many times from watching the various clips of the patient's condition (those little segments during the charity shows)...espeically the parts where the parents (with cancer) cried, and say they wanna watch their kids grow up...etc...I can totally relate to that (not that I have kids or anything)...and evil Sylvia was laughing at me...

1 more day to lots of fooooood at the Interact BBQ...