//Semi-depressed//
I am in a semi-depressed mood today.
Depressed over what? Actually nothing. Ha.
This always happens when I'm too free or rather, when I am slacking my day away.
When I'm not doing anything in particular, my mind will wander off, hu si luan xiang, think till I get depressed. Bad.
That's a good thing about mugging. It keeps my mind off stuff that I shouldn't be thinking about.
Oh, and I am actually looking forward to my evening jogs..haha...
It's a nice feeling, to be jogging while listening to music, when the sun is setting, and gradually it gets dark...and I jog on...I enjoy that half an hour everyday, especially on days like these, cause in the half an hour, there's literally nothing on my mind, the music fills my world, and my mind is just...jogging, jog on! It's a peaceful half an hour for me.
And this time round, I will be determined, to keep this evening jog thing for the entire holiday.
Oooh, and my luck is turning around! I found my Galvanic Cell notes!! It's stuck in my bro's messy pile of worksheets, god knows how it got there, the main pt is I found it!
Woots, my luck is turning around!
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Saturday, May 26, 2007
End
//End//
Woots! The 1 month "mug-for-BT2" holiday is here!
Haha..how oxymoronic...got such word? adjective to oxymoron...like how moronic is the adjective to moron...
Unlike most people, I wasn't really looking forward to the end of term. I wasn't excited at the prospect of the hols. I sort of gotten used to going to school (after 11 years of life as students), and actually enjoy going to school! *gasp* It would be like my last term of actual school life come term 3. I actually don't want it to end...
There are actually lots of perks for being a student....concession rates...I mean..45 cents for a MRT ride regardless of where you are going is really cheap! Then you get all the student packages...like student meals at Macs/KFC/BK...KStudent...and all these is going to end like in a few months time! Can't believe it...
And as a student...you get paid (by your parents) to do nothing but study and get good grades!
Went for comm serve for the last time (officially) on Thur...it's kind of a weird feeling...knowing that it will probably be one of the last time I would be seeing the kids and teaching them...
It has been a fulfulling year at BHS for me...teaching all the kids..though I know I probably didn't make an impact in terms of studies...since most of them don't have the motivation to study anyway...at least I was there like once a week...to accompany them and talk crap with them...played lots and lots of hangman...drew for them...folded paper boats for them...
It may not seem much...and it probably didn't do much to impact their lives in anyway...but the very fact that they are there means that they won't be loitering around after school...hanging out with god knows who...at least they are hanging out with good people (like me! haha) at the centre...
And going for comm serve for me isn't just about the kids for me...through all the comm serve over the year...it became sort of a routine thing for a couple of us in the class too...so it's about going to comm serve with them too...
I always enjoyed the dinner/sweet talk/old chang kee sessions with them....it became a habit for us to walk to Tiong Bahru Plaza after comm serve...and we would have dinner tgt sometimes...if not we would buy sweet talk...or old chang kee...and sit down at some corner and start eating and talking...
There's lots of different combination...like there was once me mitch and ever sat at some corner with our sweet talk and just crap talked for quite some time..and there were a couple other times which we stayed qte late after comm serve at tiong bahru plaza too....and I remember this year, during the CNY week, me mitch and cheryl just sat the macs from 7+ to almost 9...just because it was CNY celebrations in school tmr so we don't want to go home early...there was even once when it's just me and mitch...and once when it's just me and ever...
other combi includes me mitch yuming ever....me mitch yuming and pauline....and earlier on there was xinyi, wilson, mann ying and a couple others too...just permuate and rearrange it...and you get the different combinations...
I am really really going to miss all the times spent at Tiong Bahru Plaza after comm serve...at some level, maybe that is why I feel closer to certain people in the class than others...I really doubt we can afford the time in term 3 even if we go for comm serve anymore...
So on the very last official comm serve day...me and mitch just went to sit at the different spots which we sat down and talked before...haha...kind of lame...but i think it kind of provided a closure for me...
Mitch told me it's not like we won't ever go comm serve again...but it's just like the last day of school in primary school...or secondary school...or last training in st john...I know it won't be the last time I would see my classmates, I know it won't be the last time I would be in the school, I know it won't be my last time at a St John training...but I also know that it won't feel the same anymore...
I hate for things to end...but I guess if I know it won't end, I won't treasure it as much, would I?
All good things must come to an end...
Woots! The 1 month "mug-for-BT2" holiday is here!
Haha..how oxymoronic...got such word? adjective to oxymoron...like how moronic is the adjective to moron...
Unlike most people, I wasn't really looking forward to the end of term. I wasn't excited at the prospect of the hols. I sort of gotten used to going to school (after 11 years of life as students), and actually enjoy going to school! *gasp* It would be like my last term of actual school life come term 3. I actually don't want it to end...
There are actually lots of perks for being a student....concession rates...I mean..45 cents for a MRT ride regardless of where you are going is really cheap! Then you get all the student packages...like student meals at Macs/KFC/BK...KStudent...and all these is going to end like in a few months time! Can't believe it...
And as a student...you get paid (by your parents) to do nothing but study and get good grades!
Went for comm serve for the last time (officially) on Thur...it's kind of a weird feeling...knowing that it will probably be one of the last time I would be seeing the kids and teaching them...
It has been a fulfulling year at BHS for me...teaching all the kids..though I know I probably didn't make an impact in terms of studies...since most of them don't have the motivation to study anyway...at least I was there like once a week...to accompany them and talk crap with them...played lots and lots of hangman...drew for them...folded paper boats for them...
It may not seem much...and it probably didn't do much to impact their lives in anyway...but the very fact that they are there means that they won't be loitering around after school...hanging out with god knows who...at least they are hanging out with good people (like me! haha) at the centre...
And going for comm serve for me isn't just about the kids for me...through all the comm serve over the year...it became sort of a routine thing for a couple of us in the class too...so it's about going to comm serve with them too...
I always enjoyed the dinner/sweet talk/old chang kee sessions with them....it became a habit for us to walk to Tiong Bahru Plaza after comm serve...and we would have dinner tgt sometimes...if not we would buy sweet talk...or old chang kee...and sit down at some corner and start eating and talking...
There's lots of different combination...like there was once me mitch and ever sat at some corner with our sweet talk and just crap talked for quite some time..and there were a couple other times which we stayed qte late after comm serve at tiong bahru plaza too....and I remember this year, during the CNY week, me mitch and cheryl just sat the macs from 7+ to almost 9...just because it was CNY celebrations in school tmr so we don't want to go home early...there was even once when it's just me and mitch...and once when it's just me and ever...
other combi includes me mitch yuming ever....me mitch yuming and pauline....and earlier on there was xinyi, wilson, mann ying and a couple others too...just permuate and rearrange it...and you get the different combinations...
I am really really going to miss all the times spent at Tiong Bahru Plaza after comm serve...at some level, maybe that is why I feel closer to certain people in the class than others...I really doubt we can afford the time in term 3 even if we go for comm serve anymore...
So on the very last official comm serve day...me and mitch just went to sit at the different spots which we sat down and talked before...haha...kind of lame...but i think it kind of provided a closure for me...
Mitch told me it's not like we won't ever go comm serve again...but it's just like the last day of school in primary school...or secondary school...or last training in st john...I know it won't be the last time I would see my classmates, I know it won't be the last time I would be in the school, I know it won't be my last time at a St John training...but I also know that it won't feel the same anymore...
I hate for things to end...but I guess if I know it won't end, I won't treasure it as much, would I?
All good things must come to an end...
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Bad Luck
//Bad Luck//
I cast this spell to find good luck
and hope my life will cease to suck
- Charmed
How I wish the spell really work.
When you hit with bad luck, it really does stick with you for a while doesn't it. No wonder they call it a streak of bad luck.
I dropped my burger on the floor during dinner.
I had a pimple on my nose, right at the same time when I start to have runny nose again. Imagine, rubbing my nose, with that pimple there.
1 word. PAIN.
I lost my Galvanic Cell notes. Realised it this afternoon at 4+.
I lost my wallet. Probably lost it yesterday night after Dance Night while on the way home (I clearly did take a bus home, and it was still there then), since I have been at home this whole time today.
Argh. I need some good luck in my life right now.
I cast this spell to find good luck
and hope my life will cease to suck
- Charmed
How I wish the spell really work.
When you hit with bad luck, it really does stick with you for a while doesn't it. No wonder they call it a streak of bad luck.
I dropped my burger on the floor during dinner.
I had a pimple on my nose, right at the same time when I start to have runny nose again. Imagine, rubbing my nose, with that pimple there.
1 word. PAIN.
I lost my Galvanic Cell notes. Realised it this afternoon at 4+.
I lost my wallet. Probably lost it yesterday night after Dance Night while on the way home (I clearly did take a bus home, and it was still there then), since I have been at home this whole time today.
Argh. I need some good luck in my life right now.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
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Monday, May 14, 2007
Over
//Over//
So it’s over.
It feels kind of weird, that after weeks of training, the competition is over. I complain and complain and complain about doing pattern during training. But now that it’s over, I kind of missed it. It’s sort of became a habit I guess.
My leg is itching to do that side kick in my first pattern the whole day, especially after seeing how most of the people in the competition can’t seem to do it.
I wanted to win something so badly this year. Last year, I didn’t take the competition really seriously, didn’t train hard. Despite being in the category with the least amount of participants, I manage to screw up. So I told myself, next year, I must and will win something, for the lost opportunity last year, for myself, and for hc tkd.
So I participated, and did train hard. I fought hard for that individual spot because I really wanted to achieve what I didn’t manage to do last year. And when I did get it in the end, it sort of act as a confidence booster for me, and at the same time it gave me motivation to work even harder, cause in a way, I’m depriving someone else of this chance, so I don’t want to waste this individual slot that I worked hard for.
But things don’t really go our way in our life do they?
I didn’t manage to achieve my goal.
In the first round, I was unexpectedly calm actually. With 7 judges, 4 in front, 3 behind, and me alone on the big mat, I thought I would crumble under pressure, I thought I would screw up like I did last year. Surprisingly, my heart wasn’t beating faster, I wasn’t trembling, and I just did the pattern. I was disappointed when I saw the scores, 6.36.
With that score, I barely made it to the finals; I’m probably the bottom 3 of the top 8. I must say my morale was really low at that point. In the finals, I really wanted to give it my all, all my strength in the punches and blocks, get all my stances right, but this time round, I can’t really keep my calm anymore. Maybe it’s the results from the last round that affected me so much, but I couldn’t get my 100% focus.
I got a 6.72.
5th (out of 10 people)
Beating the 6th person by 0.02 (he got 6.70) and losing to the 4th person by 0.04 (he got 6.76). It was actually all pretty close, the person who got second got 6.88.
I am glad I manage to beat out 3 other people, but I really wonder if I am better than them, or if those 4 who beat me were really better than me?
Who knows, with a different set of judges, I may have been first, I could have gotten last. The fact that I got 4.1 out of 5 from 1 judge for accuracy and 2.4 from another just proves how subjective it is.
I got last (4th out of 4 pairs) in the pair category. I was okay with it, because I don’t think I did well. I wasn’t in the right mindset because it was just after my individual finals.
But when others come to tell you that we were much better than some of the other pairs, it kind of makes me wonder if we were that bad afterall.
I have seen it for myself yesterday, some blatant mistakes from some people who got ridiculously high undeserved marks. After my pair competition (my last event), I was really really really hoping and praying that both blue belt guys and girls team will do well.
I feel really bad and sad for the blue belt girls and guys team, and blue belt girls individual especially. They don’t deserve the placing they got in my opinion. They deserved much better than that based on yesterday's performance. But that's just my biased opinion, and obviously I am not the judge, so oh well.
I was really pissed yesterday, with some of the judging. Thinking back now, I wonder, are the judges biased? Or am I the one that is biased just because we are from the same school?
I guess with competition like this, where the difference in marks are usually so small, and the judging is totally subjective, things like this are bound to happen. Maybe they really do feel like those blatant mistakes are not worth making the team down or something. They gave the scores, we just have to accept it and move on.
At least I get to do my pattern 3 times yesterday. That's 3 minutes of pattern on the competition mat after weeks and weeks of training.
Oh well. Life goes on.
So it’s over.
It feels kind of weird, that after weeks of training, the competition is over. I complain and complain and complain about doing pattern during training. But now that it’s over, I kind of missed it. It’s sort of became a habit I guess.
My leg is itching to do that side kick in my first pattern the whole day, especially after seeing how most of the people in the competition can’t seem to do it.
I wanted to win something so badly this year. Last year, I didn’t take the competition really seriously, didn’t train hard. Despite being in the category with the least amount of participants, I manage to screw up. So I told myself, next year, I must and will win something, for the lost opportunity last year, for myself, and for hc tkd.
So I participated, and did train hard. I fought hard for that individual spot because I really wanted to achieve what I didn’t manage to do last year. And when I did get it in the end, it sort of act as a confidence booster for me, and at the same time it gave me motivation to work even harder, cause in a way, I’m depriving someone else of this chance, so I don’t want to waste this individual slot that I worked hard for.
But things don’t really go our way in our life do they?
I didn’t manage to achieve my goal.
In the first round, I was unexpectedly calm actually. With 7 judges, 4 in front, 3 behind, and me alone on the big mat, I thought I would crumble under pressure, I thought I would screw up like I did last year. Surprisingly, my heart wasn’t beating faster, I wasn’t trembling, and I just did the pattern. I was disappointed when I saw the scores, 6.36.
With that score, I barely made it to the finals; I’m probably the bottom 3 of the top 8. I must say my morale was really low at that point. In the finals, I really wanted to give it my all, all my strength in the punches and blocks, get all my stances right, but this time round, I can’t really keep my calm anymore. Maybe it’s the results from the last round that affected me so much, but I couldn’t get my 100% focus.
I got a 6.72.
5th (out of 10 people)
Beating the 6th person by 0.02 (he got 6.70) and losing to the 4th person by 0.04 (he got 6.76). It was actually all pretty close, the person who got second got 6.88.
I am glad I manage to beat out 3 other people, but I really wonder if I am better than them, or if those 4 who beat me were really better than me?
Who knows, with a different set of judges, I may have been first, I could have gotten last. The fact that I got 4.1 out of 5 from 1 judge for accuracy and 2.4 from another just proves how subjective it is.
I got last (4th out of 4 pairs) in the pair category. I was okay with it, because I don’t think I did well. I wasn’t in the right mindset because it was just after my individual finals.
But when others come to tell you that we were much better than some of the other pairs, it kind of makes me wonder if we were that bad afterall.
I have seen it for myself yesterday, some blatant mistakes from some people who got ridiculously high undeserved marks. After my pair competition (my last event), I was really really really hoping and praying that both blue belt guys and girls team will do well.
I feel really bad and sad for the blue belt girls and guys team, and blue belt girls individual especially. They don’t deserve the placing they got in my opinion. They deserved much better than that based on yesterday's performance. But that's just my biased opinion, and obviously I am not the judge, so oh well.
I was really pissed yesterday, with some of the judging. Thinking back now, I wonder, are the judges biased? Or am I the one that is biased just because we are from the same school?
I guess with competition like this, where the difference in marks are usually so small, and the judging is totally subjective, things like this are bound to happen. Maybe they really do feel like those blatant mistakes are not worth making the team down or something. They gave the scores, we just have to accept it and move on.
At least I get to do my pattern 3 times yesterday. That's 3 minutes of pattern on the competition mat after weeks and weeks of training.
Oh well. Life goes on.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Irritated
//Irritated//
It's super irritating that 1 bad move, or rather dumb move in this case, by 1 person, left 3 people pissed and mad, including that very person who made the wrong move.
If that person didn't make that wrong move, it would have been happy ending for all 3 of us.
Dumb mistake.
It's super irritating that 1 bad move, or rather dumb move in this case, by 1 person, left 3 people pissed and mad, including that very person who made the wrong move.
If that person didn't make that wrong move, it would have been happy ending for all 3 of us.
Dumb mistake.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Footdrill
//Footdrill//
The recent zone comp inspired me to look at the photos of my own zone comp...like 3 years ago...and I realised our atrocious our footdrill was then...
If you are a junior participating in comp this year, who instead of training is wasting time reading blogs....please take a close good look at the mistakes...and also this will explain some of the things your NCOs keep emphasizing...
First up...kekena lurus...mingwei's and my posture is extremely bad...we are leaning back far too much...+ the way we turn/tilt our heads look very very different...(note: ignore the person on the far left...)
Reporting...woa...jeremy is so much taller now!
Once again, bad posture from mingwei and i...and to a lesser extent, jeremy...mingwei's the worst....leaning back too much....
Wooo..look at our dressing...not that bad huh...
Ok, but this one dressing damn off...I am sure this is not parallex error...but at least we raised our hands to the same level.
The recent zone comp inspired me to look at the photos of my own zone comp...like 3 years ago...and I realised our atrocious our footdrill was then...
If you are a junior participating in comp this year, who instead of training is wasting time reading blogs....please take a close good look at the mistakes...and also this will explain some of the things your NCOs keep emphasizing...
First up...kekena lurus...mingwei's and my posture is extremely bad...we are leaning back far too much...+ the way we turn/tilt our heads look very very different...(note: ignore the person on the far left...)
Reporting...woa...jeremy is so much taller now!
Once again, bad posture from mingwei and i...and to a lesser extent, jeremy...mingwei's the worst....leaning back too much....
Ok, this is the very very important one....we all raised our legs high enough...but sadly, it's not 90 degrees!!! So other than fact that the leg must be raised high enough, the angle is very important!. And the next thing, pointing your feet down. Most of us weren't pointing our feet down enough.
There's a reason whenever I tell the juniors to take note of raising leg 90 degrees and pointing feet down, I always say "must get ying cheng to demo for you guys to see one of these days"...cause look at his! PERFECT EXAMPLE of how it should be done.
Wooo..look at our dressing...not that bad huh...
Ok, but this one dressing damn off...I am sure this is not parallex error...but at least we raised our hands to the same level.
Marching! Not bad, our dressing seemed to be in, even our legs seem to be bent at the same angle and stuff...but look at the hand! Swing back 45 degrees! Guess whose hand is that that is sticking out! MINE! HAHAHA.
Haha...footdrill is actually fun...can't wait to go back after tkd comp is over to do some drill!
Saturday, April 21, 2007
CCA
//CCA//
Yep. Double champs for zone competition again :)
It's really a weird feeling watching them compete in competition.
"Our" sec 1s so to speak, are actually competing in the very same competition, that I competed in 3 years ago. And the scary thing is I can actually remember very very clearly what happened during zone competition and national competition that year, and how I felt then. All the nerves, the adrenaline rush just as we march off for a case or footdrill. As cliche as it may seem, it really really did feel like yesterday when I was still training and participating in competition.
I can still very clearly that time when we did 100 kekena lurus to train our bangs and dressing, or the countless times which we would be in the ridiculous attire of the yellow PE shirt, khaki shorts, white socks and black boots doing footdrill at the red tile area or parade square. I can still remember the scenes of us doing case in 2nd floor of EP3 block and EP203.
And one thing for sure, I will never ever forget the moment they announced the results. I remembered during National Competition, we started off by screwing up footdrill, and then screwing up short case. We tried to be optimistic and think about how we can nail TOC. And the world came crashing down when TOC was something really unexpected, TOC without stretcher.
So our lives depended on the long case then. I tried to remain optimistic by deluding all of us by saying "hey, who knows, maybe we will nail the long case, which made up 50% of the whole score" And I will always remember what Jeremy said at that time "If we can't ever do the short case, you expect us to do well in long case?" I knew he was right, but I still cling on to that tinnie winnie bit of hope.
A miracle did happen in the end. I never felt so good coming out of a case before. Usually, I would come out from a case, thinking, I should have done that or this...but that case, it was really really one of the best we did in my opinion.
This is why the moment the results was released will always be remembered. We were not the top 2 in any of the 4 categories, so logically speaking, there's really a low chance for us to be in the overall top 3. I wasn't feeling sad at the moment for losing, I was disappointed that all the 6 months of training ultimately amoutned to nothing. So you can imagine how stunned and shocked I was when they announced "AA2" as the 2nd-runners up.
Stunned ---> Disbelief ---> Heart beats faster ---> Joy ---> Beyond words
Looking back, I will never say I enjoyed competition trainings, cause obviously trainings are not meant to be enjoyable. But if I have learnt anything through my 2 years in JC, it's that it is actually a good thing to have something that you feel is worth fighting and working hard for. It is something that I haven't never really had ever since I left St John.
Training a competition team is another entirely new experience. After competition ended, I was really really eager to share my experience with my juniors at that time, to teach them not only the things I've learnt from the seniors, but from the things I've discovered myself and gain throughout the whole competition training.
One thing that I felt both as a trainee and trainer though is the helpless feeling. Training for competition, I always felt out of my depth, like I'm thrown into a deep pool and struggling to keep afloat. I felt like I was never able to achieve what I'm supposed to.
Training a competition team, I felt the same way in the sense that I cannot achieve that I set out to. No matter how hard I try, the same few mistakes still keep popping up in the team, because ultimately, it is up to them to correct their mistakes after we pointed them out. I know it's hard to correct all those mistakes and try to improve because I went through the same thing too, but I also know that as a trainer, I cannot simply let it go because mistakes are still mistakes, it is my job to make sure the team improves. So we tried all sorts of way....from 1 to 1 specialised training (haha...with my fav cadet) to special training on how to speak fluently...but still, effort is not always proportional to results.
But ultimately, I am glad the team that we trained managed to win Champion in National Competition for the 1st time ever (or at least in a long long time i think...) I did not win the champion, but I am happy that I did contribute in my own little way to the win.
And it's not just the competition, it's everything else. A few of us had a mass convo on msn the other day, and it's scary how we still remember so many things that happened years ago during training and camps.
No matter what or how others perceive st john to be, I still think it gave me one of the most memorable parts of my entire sch life (now that it's ending), and I will say I am proud to be a member of HC st john.
Tkd will never match up to what I had I guess. I feel like it's a screwed up cca in so many different ways. I don't really care anymore what others in the club may think if they read this anymore...i know i am very anti-social when it comes to tkd, i am very dao and stuff, but if I only behave this way in certain situations such as this, i guess a big part of it has to do with the people in the club itself. Or rather, maybe it's just like oil and water, nobody's fault, we just can't mix.
Competition is in less than a month's time, I'm gonna train hard to prove somebody wrong. At least I can't say I didn't try this time like last year.
Yep. Double champs for zone competition again :)
It's really a weird feeling watching them compete in competition.
"Our" sec 1s so to speak, are actually competing in the very same competition, that I competed in 3 years ago. And the scary thing is I can actually remember very very clearly what happened during zone competition and national competition that year, and how I felt then. All the nerves, the adrenaline rush just as we march off for a case or footdrill. As cliche as it may seem, it really really did feel like yesterday when I was still training and participating in competition.
I can still very clearly that time when we did 100 kekena lurus to train our bangs and dressing, or the countless times which we would be in the ridiculous attire of the yellow PE shirt, khaki shorts, white socks and black boots doing footdrill at the red tile area or parade square. I can still remember the scenes of us doing case in 2nd floor of EP3 block and EP203.
And one thing for sure, I will never ever forget the moment they announced the results. I remembered during National Competition, we started off by screwing up footdrill, and then screwing up short case. We tried to be optimistic and think about how we can nail TOC. And the world came crashing down when TOC was something really unexpected, TOC without stretcher.
So our lives depended on the long case then. I tried to remain optimistic by deluding all of us by saying "hey, who knows, maybe we will nail the long case, which made up 50% of the whole score" And I will always remember what Jeremy said at that time "If we can't ever do the short case, you expect us to do well in long case?" I knew he was right, but I still cling on to that tinnie winnie bit of hope.
A miracle did happen in the end. I never felt so good coming out of a case before. Usually, I would come out from a case, thinking, I should have done that or this...but that case, it was really really one of the best we did in my opinion.
This is why the moment the results was released will always be remembered. We were not the top 2 in any of the 4 categories, so logically speaking, there's really a low chance for us to be in the overall top 3. I wasn't feeling sad at the moment for losing, I was disappointed that all the 6 months of training ultimately amoutned to nothing. So you can imagine how stunned and shocked I was when they announced "AA2" as the 2nd-runners up.
Stunned ---> Disbelief ---> Heart beats faster ---> Joy ---> Beyond words
Looking back, I will never say I enjoyed competition trainings, cause obviously trainings are not meant to be enjoyable. But if I have learnt anything through my 2 years in JC, it's that it is actually a good thing to have something that you feel is worth fighting and working hard for. It is something that I haven't never really had ever since I left St John.
Training a competition team is another entirely new experience. After competition ended, I was really really eager to share my experience with my juniors at that time, to teach them not only the things I've learnt from the seniors, but from the things I've discovered myself and gain throughout the whole competition training.
One thing that I felt both as a trainee and trainer though is the helpless feeling. Training for competition, I always felt out of my depth, like I'm thrown into a deep pool and struggling to keep afloat. I felt like I was never able to achieve what I'm supposed to.
Training a competition team, I felt the same way in the sense that I cannot achieve that I set out to. No matter how hard I try, the same few mistakes still keep popping up in the team, because ultimately, it is up to them to correct their mistakes after we pointed them out. I know it's hard to correct all those mistakes and try to improve because I went through the same thing too, but I also know that as a trainer, I cannot simply let it go because mistakes are still mistakes, it is my job to make sure the team improves. So we tried all sorts of way....from 1 to 1 specialised training (haha...with my fav cadet) to special training on how to speak fluently...but still, effort is not always proportional to results.
But ultimately, I am glad the team that we trained managed to win Champion in National Competition for the 1st time ever (or at least in a long long time i think...) I did not win the champion, but I am happy that I did contribute in my own little way to the win.
And it's not just the competition, it's everything else. A few of us had a mass convo on msn the other day, and it's scary how we still remember so many things that happened years ago during training and camps.
No matter what or how others perceive st john to be, I still think it gave me one of the most memorable parts of my entire sch life (now that it's ending), and I will say I am proud to be a member of HC st john.
Tkd will never match up to what I had I guess. I feel like it's a screwed up cca in so many different ways. I don't really care anymore what others in the club may think if they read this anymore...i know i am very anti-social when it comes to tkd, i am very dao and stuff, but if I only behave this way in certain situations such as this, i guess a big part of it has to do with the people in the club itself. Or rather, maybe it's just like oil and water, nobody's fault, we just can't mix.
Competition is in less than a month's time, I'm gonna train hard to prove somebody wrong. At least I can't say I didn't try this time like last year.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Mao-ism
//Mao-ism//
This is such a cute pic that I feel obliged to post it.
Look at the BIG BIG eyes and innocent look....aww...
This is such a cute pic that I feel obliged to post it.
Look at the BIG BIG eyes and innocent look....aww...
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Weird Me
//Weird Me//
So I was tagged by Minghao to do this "6 weird things about me" game. I think the title is self-explanatory.
Actually I wanted to write this entry once I knew I was tagged (which was a few days away), but I realised there's not a lot of weird things about me that my friends don't already know, but since I really can't think of anything else to write, this is just for those who don't know me that well...
1) I suffer from sleep paralysis (or hypnagogic paralysis to be exact)
Sometimes before I sleep, or rather in the process of falling asleep, while I'm half awake half asleep, I will suddenly be paralysed, as in I know I'm still awake, but I couldn't move my body, I couldn't shout. So I'm basically I'm just lying there, paralysed.
The paralysis usually lasts for a couple of minutes, but I remember there was once it lasted quite long, for like an hour? But that was when I was really young.
Well, according to Chinese superstition, this kind of thing is called "Bei gui ya"...I didn't really bother going to find out what this condition is actually called until recently, when I went on Wiki and read about it here.
Apparently my father, mother and sister all have this condition too, the only one in the family that is free from it is my brother. So I was quite shocked when my friends all told me that they never had this kind of sleep paralysis experience before. I thought it was rather common.
2) I am obssessed with Idol shows around the world.
I think this one is no surprise to most people who know me, but it's still something weird about me. As of now, after deleting some of the idol video files from my computer, I got 18.2 GB of Idol videos on my com now. The Idol show videos I got include shows from America (6 seasons), Canada (3 seasons), Australia (4 seasons), Malaysia (2 seasons), Singapore (2 seasons), Holland (1 season), UK (1 season), and miscellenous stuff from New Zealand, and countries I can't even name.
3) I don't watch a locally produced show anymore
I simply don't like local production, be it movie or TV Show. The only locally-produced show I watch now is Project Superstar/Campus Superstar (which can be linked to my obsession with Idol shows I guess).
I can't even remember the last local TV show I watch on a regular basis...I think I stopped watching after Primary school. The last local movie I watched was "Money Not Enough". I did not catch "I Not Stupid" or any of the other Jack Neo's production. It was kind of funny when I went over to Taiwan, and ALL the taiwan students there watched "I Not Stupid" before, while me, being a Singapore haven't.
4) I used to believe in the "End Of The World" prophecy kind of thing
I remember when I was in primary 2 (1997), my cousin told me about this doomsday prophecy thing, that the world will end in year 2000. I actually believed him and got really scared, sad and worried for the next few months, like I would think about it almost every night before I sleep.
When I told my mum about it, she just laughed at me, and told me a story of her own (which I'm too lazy to type), and convinced me not to worry about such unnecessary things.
Now, I obviously don't really care much about these prophecies stuff. But every now and then, I will still think about the world ending. Like when there's a really heavy rain, lightning and thunder gets really bad, I will wonder if it's a sign that the world is going to end. Or when I hear strange loud noises (probably caused by air planes, or fireworks..haha) I will wonder if the aliens are gonna invade us (i.e War of the worlds).
5) I enjoy Geography and History.
Kind of weird that I chose Economics as my contrasting subject when I do like Geography and History. The funny thing here is I never realised I like these 2 subjects until recently. Maybe in secondary school, I was too caught up in getting good grades for these subjects that I study for the sake of studying. But looking back now, I realised I really did thoroughly enjoyed all the Geography modules I took in sec 3 and 4, and even the History module on WWII.
At least I find myself reading chapters that are not tested in that thick thick history text book last time, and spending hours reading about geography-related stuff that are not tested. You will never find me reading Appendices of Bio notes (unless it is absolutely necessary).
6) I believe in aliens, and ghost.
I guess I will just lump everything together. Nothing weird, but I just believe in the existence of ghosts, and aliens UFOs and stuff like that. I used to go the library to borrow books on UFOs, supernatural occurence like sightings of ghosts and stuff to read. Ironically, I hate to watch horror movie.
Won't tag anyone in particular, you can just do this if you're bored, and said that I tagged you.
So I was tagged by Minghao to do this "6 weird things about me" game. I think the title is self-explanatory.
Actually I wanted to write this entry once I knew I was tagged (which was a few days away), but I realised there's not a lot of weird things about me that my friends don't already know, but since I really can't think of anything else to write, this is just for those who don't know me that well...
1) I suffer from sleep paralysis (or hypnagogic paralysis to be exact)
Sometimes before I sleep, or rather in the process of falling asleep, while I'm half awake half asleep, I will suddenly be paralysed, as in I know I'm still awake, but I couldn't move my body, I couldn't shout. So I'm basically I'm just lying there, paralysed.
The paralysis usually lasts for a couple of minutes, but I remember there was once it lasted quite long, for like an hour? But that was when I was really young.
Well, according to Chinese superstition, this kind of thing is called "Bei gui ya"...I didn't really bother going to find out what this condition is actually called until recently, when I went on Wiki and read about it here.
Apparently my father, mother and sister all have this condition too, the only one in the family that is free from it is my brother. So I was quite shocked when my friends all told me that they never had this kind of sleep paralysis experience before. I thought it was rather common.
2) I am obssessed with Idol shows around the world.
I think this one is no surprise to most people who know me, but it's still something weird about me. As of now, after deleting some of the idol video files from my computer, I got 18.2 GB of Idol videos on my com now. The Idol show videos I got include shows from America (6 seasons), Canada (3 seasons), Australia (4 seasons), Malaysia (2 seasons), Singapore (2 seasons), Holland (1 season), UK (1 season), and miscellenous stuff from New Zealand, and countries I can't even name.
3) I don't watch a locally produced show anymore
I simply don't like local production, be it movie or TV Show. The only locally-produced show I watch now is Project Superstar/Campus Superstar (which can be linked to my obsession with Idol shows I guess).
I can't even remember the last local TV show I watch on a regular basis...I think I stopped watching after Primary school. The last local movie I watched was "Money Not Enough". I did not catch "I Not Stupid" or any of the other Jack Neo's production. It was kind of funny when I went over to Taiwan, and ALL the taiwan students there watched "I Not Stupid" before, while me, being a Singapore haven't.
4) I used to believe in the "End Of The World" prophecy kind of thing
I remember when I was in primary 2 (1997), my cousin told me about this doomsday prophecy thing, that the world will end in year 2000. I actually believed him and got really scared, sad and worried for the next few months, like I would think about it almost every night before I sleep.
When I told my mum about it, she just laughed at me, and told me a story of her own (which I'm too lazy to type), and convinced me not to worry about such unnecessary things.
Now, I obviously don't really care much about these prophecies stuff. But every now and then, I will still think about the world ending. Like when there's a really heavy rain, lightning and thunder gets really bad, I will wonder if it's a sign that the world is going to end. Or when I hear strange loud noises (probably caused by air planes, or fireworks..haha) I will wonder if the aliens are gonna invade us (i.e War of the worlds).
5) I enjoy Geography and History.
Kind of weird that I chose Economics as my contrasting subject when I do like Geography and History. The funny thing here is I never realised I like these 2 subjects until recently. Maybe in secondary school, I was too caught up in getting good grades for these subjects that I study for the sake of studying. But looking back now, I realised I really did thoroughly enjoyed all the Geography modules I took in sec 3 and 4, and even the History module on WWII.
At least I find myself reading chapters that are not tested in that thick thick history text book last time, and spending hours reading about geography-related stuff that are not tested. You will never find me reading Appendices of Bio notes (unless it is absolutely necessary).
6) I believe in aliens, and ghost.
I guess I will just lump everything together. Nothing weird, but I just believe in the existence of ghosts, and aliens UFOs and stuff like that. I used to go the library to borrow books on UFOs, supernatural occurence like sightings of ghosts and stuff to read. Ironically, I hate to watch horror movie.
Won't tag anyone in particular, you can just do this if you're bored, and said that I tagged you.
Monday, April 02, 2007
Kiwi
//Kiwi//
Ying Cheng recommended me to watch this. And you know what, I got really depressed and sad after watching this. Typical me.
You should go watch this too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdUUx5FdySs
After you watched that, you should watch this, same video, but edited in a different order, and with different music, and the whole mood feels different.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUbryU_XfX0&mode=related&search
I love that song. Mad World indeed.
Ying Cheng recommended me to watch this. And you know what, I got really depressed and sad after watching this. Typical me.
You should go watch this too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdUUx5FdySs
After you watched that, you should watch this, same video, but edited in a different order, and with different music, and the whole mood feels different.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUbryU_XfX0&mode=related&search
I love that song. Mad World indeed.
Saturday, March 24, 2007
A Productive Day Of 06S71
//A Productive Day Of 06S71//
Weixin asked me to post a blog entry entitled "A Productive Day" today. So..why not?
It was a nice and sunny day. The beautiful day started with a productive 2 hours, from 8.15 to 10.15 in the school hall as 06S71 sweats it out in our final paper for Block test 1. I remembered when Mrs Foo asked us to check if we have the correct number of pages for our scripts, I was excited to reach the last page, where I can have a quick glimpse of the essay questions. My heart sank when I saw the topics tested for essay. And I vividly remembered someone from S70 saying "F*ck" (or shit, or something to that effect) very loudly. Ha, I was kind of comforted for that split second, I wouldn't be the only one who would die in essay.
So after the productive 2 hours of stimulation of our brains, we spend the next 1.5 hours from 10.30 to 12.00, productively stoning, and deciding what movies to watch and where to go.
Oh, and by we, I mean xinyi, pauline, cheryl, everlyn, me, mitchell, wilson, edmund, zeqi, weixin and gary.
After we finally decided, we made our way to Cineleisure, and we all look like its our first time in Orchard. First of all, when we reach the bus stop we are supposed to alight, most of them were so engrossed in their productive conversations that we almost forgot to alight. At the road junction, we upheld the 71 tradition of lagging by not crossing the road when the green man is on.
Inside Cineleisure, we all did pretty 'smart' stuff. First, we took an escalator down to the basement, where we can buy tickets, only to realise that the ticket counter is close. So too bad, we have to go to level 5 to buy our tickets. Logically, we would take the lift to level, instead of using the escalator, right? So we did that, and we were so smart that we took that lift take serves from B3 to level 1. So effectively, we took escalator down to B1, and took a lift back up to L1. So when we finally got to L5 with the correct lift, we were all relieved (it rhymes!)
So after buying the tickets for the movie "Music and Lyrics", we went back to B1 for lunch at Kobayashi. Things went pretty smoothly from then on, no wrong lifts, nothing. We were even on time for the movie *gasp*. This was a historical moment for 06S71, as we were hardly on time for lectures and tutorials.
Movie was pretty funny in parts, but the most funny part was when the movie suddenly just shuts off, and we were left staring at the blank screen. So we waited, and waited, and stoned in the true spirit of 06S71. After around 15-20 minutes of waiting time, the movie came back on! So back to watching! Or so we thought. It blanked out 10 minutes later.
So Cathay decided to give us all a complimentary free ticket, and to quote the person "You are allowed to watch ANY movie, ANY time, ANY day". So zai right? Then she added "But it only lasts for two weeks." So I guess any time any day is not so unlimited afterall.
Then came our favourite activity. If stoning and lagging at the class bench was not enough, we decided to just stand right in the middle of L5 of Cineleisure to lag and talk productively. Apparently, we all prefer to stand and lag, rather than sit and lag, as can be seen in this example, and our previous record, where we stand beside the tree outside Curry Wok to talk and waste time away for around 1-2 hours. This time round however, we only lasted for about half an hour.
Sadly, Zeqi and Edmund didn't get to enjoy this favourite 71 activity of ours, as edmund gotta leave for piano lesson and zeqi have to leave for tennis.
So as smart people, we took a lift down L1, and we continued our productive stand-lag exercise there, while blocking the main exit and entrance. The girls finally decided to take neoprint after a further stoning of 15 minutes. And off we went. So while waiting for the girls to finish taking their neoprints, the guys spent our time productively talking crap inside the neoprint shop.
1 hour elapse. Ok, maybe I'm exaggarating, but they sure took long to take those neoprints.
Then after this, we decided to take the lift down to L1. As we entered the lift, we saw 4 RI/RJ guys. So we're all sardined packed in the lift. And down it went. When the door opened, we realised we were already at B1. That's what happens when there are too many smart people in the lift, we all assumed others will press the buttons, when in fact we all didn't.
So it's ok, we took the escalator back up to L1, only to realise it's raining. So we went back down again.
So from around 4pm to 6pm, we productively spent our time together by stoning, and erm, 'fumerating' and 'alpha-ketogluterating' each other. Of course we didn't forget to 'malate' and 'succinyl-CoA' each other.
So there it was. What a productive day.
I think I deserve a "A" for this narrative essay.
Weixin asked me to post a blog entry entitled "A Productive Day" today. So..why not?
It was a nice and sunny day. The beautiful day started with a productive 2 hours, from 8.15 to 10.15 in the school hall as 06S71 sweats it out in our final paper for Block test 1. I remembered when Mrs Foo asked us to check if we have the correct number of pages for our scripts, I was excited to reach the last page, where I can have a quick glimpse of the essay questions. My heart sank when I saw the topics tested for essay. And I vividly remembered someone from S70 saying "F*ck" (or shit, or something to that effect) very loudly. Ha, I was kind of comforted for that split second, I wouldn't be the only one who would die in essay.
So after the productive 2 hours of stimulation of our brains, we spend the next 1.5 hours from 10.30 to 12.00, productively stoning, and deciding what movies to watch and where to go.
Oh, and by we, I mean xinyi, pauline, cheryl, everlyn, me, mitchell, wilson, edmund, zeqi, weixin and gary.
After we finally decided, we made our way to Cineleisure, and we all look like its our first time in Orchard. First of all, when we reach the bus stop we are supposed to alight, most of them were so engrossed in their productive conversations that we almost forgot to alight. At the road junction, we upheld the 71 tradition of lagging by not crossing the road when the green man is on.
Inside Cineleisure, we all did pretty 'smart' stuff. First, we took an escalator down to the basement, where we can buy tickets, only to realise that the ticket counter is close. So too bad, we have to go to level 5 to buy our tickets. Logically, we would take the lift to level, instead of using the escalator, right? So we did that, and we were so smart that we took that lift take serves from B3 to level 1. So effectively, we took escalator down to B1, and took a lift back up to L1. So when we finally got to L5 with the correct lift, we were all relieved (it rhymes!)
So after buying the tickets for the movie "Music and Lyrics", we went back to B1 for lunch at Kobayashi. Things went pretty smoothly from then on, no wrong lifts, nothing. We were even on time for the movie *gasp*. This was a historical moment for 06S71, as we were hardly on time for lectures and tutorials.
Movie was pretty funny in parts, but the most funny part was when the movie suddenly just shuts off, and we were left staring at the blank screen. So we waited, and waited, and stoned in the true spirit of 06S71. After around 15-20 minutes of waiting time, the movie came back on! So back to watching! Or so we thought. It blanked out 10 minutes later.
So Cathay decided to give us all a complimentary free ticket, and to quote the person "You are allowed to watch ANY movie, ANY time, ANY day". So zai right? Then she added "But it only lasts for two weeks." So I guess any time any day is not so unlimited afterall.
Then came our favourite activity. If stoning and lagging at the class bench was not enough, we decided to just stand right in the middle of L5 of Cineleisure to lag and talk productively. Apparently, we all prefer to stand and lag, rather than sit and lag, as can be seen in this example, and our previous record, where we stand beside the tree outside Curry Wok to talk and waste time away for around 1-2 hours. This time round however, we only lasted for about half an hour.
Sadly, Zeqi and Edmund didn't get to enjoy this favourite 71 activity of ours, as edmund gotta leave for piano lesson and zeqi have to leave for tennis.
So as smart people, we took a lift down L1, and we continued our productive stand-lag exercise there, while blocking the main exit and entrance. The girls finally decided to take neoprint after a further stoning of 15 minutes. And off we went. So while waiting for the girls to finish taking their neoprints, the guys spent our time productively talking crap inside the neoprint shop.
1 hour elapse. Ok, maybe I'm exaggarating, but they sure took long to take those neoprints.
Then after this, we decided to take the lift down to L1. As we entered the lift, we saw 4 RI/RJ guys. So we're all sardined packed in the lift. And down it went. When the door opened, we realised we were already at B1. That's what happens when there are too many smart people in the lift, we all assumed others will press the buttons, when in fact we all didn't.
So it's ok, we took the escalator back up to L1, only to realise it's raining. So we went back down again.
So from around 4pm to 6pm, we productively spent our time together by stoning, and erm, 'fumerating' and 'alpha-ketogluterating' each other. Of course we didn't forget to 'malate' and 'succinyl-CoA' each other.
So there it was. What a productive day.
I think I deserve a "A" for this narrative essay.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Fan
//Fan//
The fan in my room siao liao.
It seems fine...till it suddenly makes weird noises.
Then it slows down.
Then it makes more weird noises.
Then it speeds up, and return to original state as if nothing as happened.
And the cycle continues. (for at least 3, 4 times since I came home).
I think I am like my fan.
The fan in my room siao liao.
It seems fine...till it suddenly makes weird noises.
Then it slows down.
Then it makes more weird noises.
Then it speeds up, and return to original state as if nothing as happened.
And the cycle continues. (for at least 3, 4 times since I came home).
I think I am like my fan.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Fascination
//Fascination//
When was the last time you were really fascinated by something?
Looking at how the kids get fascinated over every little thing during Interact March camp makes me wonder that.
And no, I am not fascinated by the multiplier effect.
I don't go "wow". I go "huh". So I'm confused, not fascinated.
Doing a whole footdrill procedure again with the team felt so good.
Tiring, but good. It's been 2 years. We even got the full AA (ambulance adult) team, including number 5.
AA power! Muahahahaha. Ok. Random.
And going to lunch at SIM after training on Wednesday really relt like the good old days, where we would go there for lunch after Sat training. Except we don't mug together after lunch at SIM last time, which we did on Wednesday.
Awww...st john :)
Ewww...econs :(
Not making sense already.
When was the last time you were really fascinated by something?
Looking at how the kids get fascinated over every little thing during Interact March camp makes me wonder that.
And no, I am not fascinated by the multiplier effect.
I don't go "wow". I go "huh". So I'm confused, not fascinated.
Doing a whole footdrill procedure again with the team felt so good.
Tiring, but good. It's been 2 years. We even got the full AA (ambulance adult) team, including number 5.
AA power! Muahahahaha. Ok. Random.
And going to lunch at SIM after training on Wednesday really relt like the good old days, where we would go there for lunch after Sat training. Except we don't mug together after lunch at SIM last time, which we did on Wednesday.
Awww...st john :)
Ewww...econs :(
Not making sense already.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
When The Lights Go Down
//When The Lights Go Down//
I think I appear so stoned most of the time that I display zero emotional range at all.
Looking at how some people apear when they are stressed, or how some others behave when they are pissed or emotional, and mosty importantly listening to people talk about other people's behaviour...made me wonder how I behave around others.
Like a stone.
There but not there.
One of my friends once told me I look tired all the time. Like a lost sheep. So I tried to be more lively. It worked, here and there, once in a while, but most of the time, especially recently, I would just slipped back to my stone-y self.
It is just tiring to be someone I'm not.
Maybe that's why I feel most relaxed with meng, cheng and rence. It almost seems like it's alright to stone all I want when I'm with them.
When the lights go down
And there's nothing left to be
When the lights go down
And the truth is all you see
- Faith Hill
But it's not as if there's like nothing underneath the stone-y surface. It's not like my mind will switch off automatically when I'm stoning.
Was feeling rather moody and kind of sad in a way this 2 days...over something really small...
I'm not a particularly reflective type of person, but it's amazing how some movies can get me really emotional. Not in a "omg that's so sad" one dimensional kind of emotion where I will start crying, but rather mixed emotions, that makes me feel happy and sad at the same time.
Weird, but there are movies that can do this to me.
The film can be really lousy, but as long as it strikes a emotional chord with me, I just can't really get out of the movies. It took me a couple of days to get over the movie"Noel", cause right after watching it, the feeling of loneliness just gripes me so strongly...
And movies like these will just get thinking about my own life, how I want to lead it and so on. And somehow I always get kind of depressed just from thinking about it.
I guess that kinds of explain my emotional state of mind for this past 2 days...
Ok, I think I'm getting kind of incoherent and rambling.
I really need to get out of this mode and switch gear into the mugging mode soon.
I think I appear so stoned most of the time that I display zero emotional range at all.
Looking at how some people apear when they are stressed, or how some others behave when they are pissed or emotional, and mosty importantly listening to people talk about other people's behaviour...made me wonder how I behave around others.
Some people mask their saddness with laughter and smiles. Some wear their emotions on their sleeves. And my conclusion for myself: I am just stoned.
Like a stone.
There but not there.
One of my friends once told me I look tired all the time. Like a lost sheep. So I tried to be more lively. It worked, here and there, once in a while, but most of the time, especially recently, I would just slipped back to my stone-y self.
It is just tiring to be someone I'm not.
Maybe that's why I feel most relaxed with meng, cheng and rence. It almost seems like it's alright to stone all I want when I'm with them.
When the lights go down
And there's nothing left to be
When the lights go down
And the truth is all you see
- Faith Hill
But it's not as if there's like nothing underneath the stone-y surface. It's not like my mind will switch off automatically when I'm stoning.
Was feeling rather moody and kind of sad in a way this 2 days...over something really small...
I'm not a particularly reflective type of person, but it's amazing how some movies can get me really emotional. Not in a "omg that's so sad" one dimensional kind of emotion where I will start crying, but rather mixed emotions, that makes me feel happy and sad at the same time.
Weird, but there are movies that can do this to me.
The film can be really lousy, but as long as it strikes a emotional chord with me, I just can't really get out of the movies. It took me a couple of days to get over the movie"Noel", cause right after watching it, the feeling of loneliness just gripes me so strongly...
And movies like these will just get thinking about my own life, how I want to lead it and so on. And somehow I always get kind of depressed just from thinking about it.
I guess that kinds of explain my emotional state of mind for this past 2 days...
Ok, I think I'm getting kind of incoherent and rambling.
I really need to get out of this mode and switch gear into the mugging mode soon.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Hess' Law
//Hess' Law//
It's kind of amazing how different J2 life is from J1 life.
It's the same school, the same class bench, the same classmates, same tutors (almost) and so on, but life is just so different.
I don't think it's the influx of tutorials or work or tests like some people said, cause seriously the workload actually didn't change much in my opinion, other than the fact that there are more Bio essays to be done, there isn't really much difference in terms of workload, like compared to term 3 of last year.
It's just the mentality that have changed. I can no longer slack in school at the class bench after school without feeling guilty. I can no longer dao all my tutorials and feel like it's ok, I can cope. And I can see that I'm not the only one feeling this change.
The A Level release of results really sort of freak me out a bit, maybe cause I never did O levels...I just look at the seniors, and you know I actually felt my heart beat faster when I was imagining myself in that same situation. I didn't felt a thing last year seeing the seniors collect their results, but this year is different, it's actually my turn to take the A lvls.
Plus the constant harping by the different teachers about A lvl results, how 9 out of 10 students get A for Bio, how many 4 As students there are, how all the students in her class get at least a B3 of GP...it sounds really easy doesn't it?
Ms Lim said Hwa Chong students somehow have the ability to step up and rise to the occasion, and Miss Wong showed us the article on how this girl from ACJC managed to get her 4 As despite less than stellar results from Prelims...
Well the fact is it's not easy at all. Not at all. I even have difficulty finding the motivation to study and work slightly harder at the beginning of the year. It's gonna be a tough year ahead. And the last year in school too. Mixed emotions.
Anyway after half a term of lagging in work, and half a term of maniac catching up, I can finally proudly say I'm more or less catching up in all tutorials (except Econs)...the next big step for me is to listen in ALL lectures...since the beginning of the year till now, the only lectures I listened to was Kinetics Part I, Photosynthesis (till the light dependent stage) and Respiration. That's it. i MUST change. i WILL listen and pay attention.
By the way, the title of this entry has absolutely nothing to do with the entry itself. I'm just in a chemistry mood.
It's kind of amazing how different J2 life is from J1 life.
It's the same school, the same class bench, the same classmates, same tutors (almost) and so on, but life is just so different.
I don't think it's the influx of tutorials or work or tests like some people said, cause seriously the workload actually didn't change much in my opinion, other than the fact that there are more Bio essays to be done, there isn't really much difference in terms of workload, like compared to term 3 of last year.
It's just the mentality that have changed. I can no longer slack in school at the class bench after school without feeling guilty. I can no longer dao all my tutorials and feel like it's ok, I can cope. And I can see that I'm not the only one feeling this change.
The A Level release of results really sort of freak me out a bit, maybe cause I never did O levels...I just look at the seniors, and you know I actually felt my heart beat faster when I was imagining myself in that same situation. I didn't felt a thing last year seeing the seniors collect their results, but this year is different, it's actually my turn to take the A lvls.
Plus the constant harping by the different teachers about A lvl results, how 9 out of 10 students get A for Bio, how many 4 As students there are, how all the students in her class get at least a B3 of GP...it sounds really easy doesn't it?
Ms Lim said Hwa Chong students somehow have the ability to step up and rise to the occasion, and Miss Wong showed us the article on how this girl from ACJC managed to get her 4 As despite less than stellar results from Prelims...
Well the fact is it's not easy at all. Not at all. I even have difficulty finding the motivation to study and work slightly harder at the beginning of the year. It's gonna be a tough year ahead. And the last year in school too. Mixed emotions.
Anyway after half a term of lagging in work, and half a term of maniac catching up, I can finally proudly say I'm more or less catching up in all tutorials (except Econs)...the next big step for me is to listen in ALL lectures...since the beginning of the year till now, the only lectures I listened to was Kinetics Part I, Photosynthesis (till the light dependent stage) and Respiration. That's it. i MUST change. i WILL listen and pay attention.
By the way, the title of this entry has absolutely nothing to do with the entry itself. I'm just in a chemistry mood.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Chinese New Year
//Chinese New Year//
Chinese New Year visiting lasted from 1pm to 3pm, and I only went 2 relatives' houses. (not that I'm complaining.)
Despite having like 9 uncles & aunties, with like 10+ married cousins on my father side, I received merely 8 angbaos...which adds up to a grand exact total of $50. Can't blame anyone, didn't stay long enough to get angbaos from everyone. Well, but this's only my father side. Not that I will get a lot more from my mum's side. I will probably get lots and lots of ringgit since I will be going Malaysia for those angbaos and I will probably lose them all in gambling. Oh well.
House visiting for my dad's side is really boring for me. I see these relatives like once a year during CNY + a few more times if there's any wedding dinners.
I've got like around 20 cousins, in fact I'm not even sure, I'm not sure how many sons/daughters each of my uncles and aunties have. In fact, I can't remember who is whose sons/daughters. I just know they are my cousins. Most of them are married anyway. So naturally, I couldn't remember 70% of their names.
Since most of my cousins are married, naturally I would have lots of nephews and nieces, around 20+ I guess. Some of them are even older than me can. If I can't tell which cousin is the son/daughter of which uncle/auntie, of course I can hardly tell which niece/newphew is from which cousin. To me they are all just cute little kids (other than a few of them who are around same age or older than me). So as expected, I don't really know 90% of my nieces and nephews' names too.
So with practically no one to talk to, the 3 of us (sis, bro and I) would have nothing to do other than to stone, or EAT. Of course we would choose to pig out. I ate from the moment I reach my auntie's house to the moment I left. I guess that's what new year goodies are for. To prevent people like me from being bored to death.
Food saved my life today :) Hope I don't end up looking like a pig come Wednesday.
Chinese New Year visiting lasted from 1pm to 3pm, and I only went 2 relatives' houses. (not that I'm complaining.)
Despite having like 9 uncles & aunties, with like 10+ married cousins on my father side, I received merely 8 angbaos...which adds up to a grand exact total of $50. Can't blame anyone, didn't stay long enough to get angbaos from everyone. Well, but this's only my father side. Not that I will get a lot more from my mum's side. I will probably get lots and lots of ringgit since I will be going Malaysia for those angbaos and I will probably lose them all in gambling. Oh well.
House visiting for my dad's side is really boring for me. I see these relatives like once a year during CNY + a few more times if there's any wedding dinners.
I've got like around 20 cousins, in fact I'm not even sure, I'm not sure how many sons/daughters each of my uncles and aunties have. In fact, I can't remember who is whose sons/daughters. I just know they are my cousins. Most of them are married anyway. So naturally, I couldn't remember 70% of their names.
Since most of my cousins are married, naturally I would have lots of nephews and nieces, around 20+ I guess. Some of them are even older than me can. If I can't tell which cousin is the son/daughter of which uncle/auntie, of course I can hardly tell which niece/newphew is from which cousin. To me they are all just cute little kids (other than a few of them who are around same age or older than me). So as expected, I don't really know 90% of my nieces and nephews' names too.
So with practically no one to talk to, the 3 of us (sis, bro and I) would have nothing to do other than to stone, or EAT. Of course we would choose to pig out. I ate from the moment I reach my auntie's house to the moment I left. I guess that's what new year goodies are for. To prevent people like me from being bored to death.
Food saved my life today :) Hope I don't end up looking like a pig come Wednesday.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Taiwan Part I: Donuts & Xiao Long Baos
//Taiwan Part I: Donuts & Xiao Long Baos//
Chinese New Year break starts today officially! Which = time for me to upload photos from TIP finally on my blog! Since xlb is so excited over the donuts, I shall be nice and post more pictures of the donuts and of course XIAOLONGBAOsss.
Famous "Mister Donut"
Look at the queue...
Such a wide variety...
They even rate the donut..5 stars being sweetest, 1 star being least sweet...
The kids you saw in the previous photo, who came with another young (but older than them) kid to buy DONUTS...
More donuts...
Ok...now for the pictures of XIAOLONGBAOsss and many more other stuff from Ding Tai Feng, it's kind of funny, cause I took a name card, then the first outlet I saw was some Orchard Road outlet, I was like "there's orchard road in Taiwan too?!" before I realised oh, that's the Singapore Outlets. Haha...Ding Tai Feng has outlets like even in South Korea and USA...and ALL the outlets are printed on the name card...
Ok...now for the pictures of XIAOLONGBAOsss and many more other stuff from Ding Tai Feng, it's kind of funny, cause I took a name card, then the first outlet I saw was some Orchard Road outlet, I was like "there's orchard road in Taiwan too?!" before I realised oh, that's the Singapore Outlets. Haha...Ding Tai Feng has outlets like even in South Korea and USA...and ALL the outlets are printed on the name card...
Ding Tai Feng!
The "86" is the queue number...
The crowd is crazy too, that's my buddy's mum and sister (the one in pink) by the way...
XIAO LONG BAOsss
See the soup inside...like OMG...
Some other dian xing...that taste just like xlb but with a prawn on top...
Close up!
Smokey smokey, this is some glutineous rice thing...
Closeup!
Of course I couldn't resist! I think I ate like 5 out of 10 xlb...haha...cause his family are super nice...they know I love to eat xlb..so they really really never eat...so touched...
Time for desert! Some xlb-lookalike thing but with YAM inside...
Hmm..haha..forgot the name...just remember it's yummy...
Another yummy dessert...that's the Yu Cheng uniform I'm wearing by the way...I like the vest thinggy...
Where all the xlbs are made!
Looking at my photos, I realised there's so so many photos I want to post...like the photos of my 8D's house....(8D = buddy's..haha..as quoted from kaiherng's blog)...his school...the lessons I went for...all the food from the night market...spastic photos from the tour....and I think I finally got the time...since it's CNY break
Haha, it's like Feb already...everything seems back to normal...school's been really busy and all...lots of stuff has happened...but still...I think I'm still reliving the memories in my mind very frequently...especially when I'm stoning on my bus rides home....
I wonder how long it will take for me to start to stop thinking about it at all...not that I want it to happen, but I think it's inevitable...
Looking at my photos, I realised there's so so many photos I want to post...like the photos of my 8D's house....(8D = buddy's..haha..as quoted from kaiherng's blog)...his school...the lessons I went for...all the food from the night market...spastic photos from the tour....and I think I finally got the time...since it's CNY break
Haha, it's like Feb already...everything seems back to normal...school's been really busy and all...lots of stuff has happened...but still...I think I'm still reliving the memories in my mind very frequently...especially when I'm stoning on my bus rides home....
I wonder how long it will take for me to start to stop thinking about it at all...not that I want it to happen, but I think it's inevitable...
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Long Long Week
//Long Long Week//
I really think I am getting dumber. Or maybe lazier.
It's been a long week. There are so many times I felt like blogging, after my first ever tuition session with my tutee on Monday, after the headache-inducing 4 hour nap I had on Tuesday, after comm serve and going to SCS (Singapore Cancer Society) on Thursday, after going back to St John training on Fri, and of course the H4-1 outing on Sat...
But in the end I didn't blog a single time.
I was simply too tired to do so, or lazy perhaps.
My command of the language is deteriorating fast. I just wrote the worst essay of my life on Thursday during GP lesson.
Great, now I can't write English AND Chinese properly anymore.
I'm attempting to do Maths tutorial 9a now by the way.
Maths makes me mad. (alliteration!) Like seriously.
I realised there isn't a logical flow to the sentences I just typed. Proves my point. My english sucks more now.
Had my first ever tuition session with my tutee on Monday. Wasn't as hard as I expected. In fact times flies when I'm teaching Maths. I think I can teach him Maths for the full 3 hours.
It's teaching Science that sucks. Especially when the curious kid kept asking questions. Questions that have totally no relevance to the syllabus. Questions that are probably not related to Science at all .But the job of the teacher is to answer all queries of the student. So I tried my best to answer the questions he asked in the simplest term I can find.
Actually I think I suck at making complex concepts simple. In fact, I can make simple concepts complex. I mean I can't even explain the concept of "atmosphere". I was stumped when the kid asked me why there's so much nitrogen in the atmosphere. Well, the textbook said the bacteria needs them, and bacteria are important to us, so that's how I answered him. Then his question became "Why is bacteria important to us", I was stunned this time round.
How am I supposed to explain all the cheem cheem bacteria-related concepts etc to him in simple language? Well, I resorted to something I should't have. "Well, it's not in your syllabus, you can go check online if you are really interested. Like you can go wikipedia!" I really said that, and to edmund if you're reading, yes, he loves to read wikipedia too. I almost burst out laughing when he told me that.
Mondays are now long long days for me. Tuition from 4-7. Eeks.
Tuesday, in comparison is friggin' short. I end at 1. And I don't have Chem H3. So on Tue, I actually went home early! For the first time in a long long time. Slacking and wasting time at the class bench after school isn't really something I should be doing this year.
But instead of going home and mug, or stay in school and mug, I went home and slacked. -_-" Took a 4 hour long nap. And I'm not a nap person at all. Woke up with a headache, blocked nose, etc, feeling very sick. And the worst thing is I couldn't sleep that night till like 4 am in the morning.
Oh, did I mention I'm sick again? Like after recovering from my previous illness for 3 days, I'm sick again. Makes me wonder if I even recovered in the first place. Wonder if it's the weather, the flu bug that's infecting like everyone in school, or is it just me?
Ok, this is getting very boring. Plus I'm feeling horrible now with a combination of blocked nose that cause my whole head to feel like exploding (maths may have made it worse I supposed).
And to make matters worse, mum is nagging at me, for forgetting to switch off the lights and fans in the dinning room, and for not sleeping early. Actually, she's probably right, I should sleep early. But any form of nagging/noise/talking at this instant is irritating.
Don't talk to me when I'm feeling lousy and horrible.
And my aircon doesn't seem to be working. It's friggin' hot.
Ok, I am signing off now. When I'm not in the mood, I just can't blog. Just like how all clothes seem ugly when I'm not in the shopping mood.
To sum up the rest of the stuff I initially want to blog about..
Comm serve at BHS makes me go 0.0 (wow)
St John makes me :)
H4 makes me :D
And memories of SCS attachment and Taiwan immersion kept flooding back to me these few days for some reason.
The donuts are so delicious, and the kids are so cute!
I miss pigging out late at night like at 2am+ outside 7-11 with them.
I miss my room (sort of) in Zhi Qun's house, they even put a small Singapore flag on the table. I miss his house too!
Or staying out late every night even though it's a school day tomorrow.
I even miss the bus ride with super comfy seats...
I miss Taiwan. :(
I really think I am getting dumber. Or maybe lazier.
It's been a long week. There are so many times I felt like blogging, after my first ever tuition session with my tutee on Monday, after the headache-inducing 4 hour nap I had on Tuesday, after comm serve and going to SCS (Singapore Cancer Society) on Thursday, after going back to St John training on Fri, and of course the H4-1 outing on Sat...
But in the end I didn't blog a single time.
I was simply too tired to do so, or lazy perhaps.
My command of the language is deteriorating fast. I just wrote the worst essay of my life on Thursday during GP lesson.
Great, now I can't write English AND Chinese properly anymore.
I'm attempting to do Maths tutorial 9a now by the way.
Maths makes me mad. (alliteration!) Like seriously.
I realised there isn't a logical flow to the sentences I just typed. Proves my point. My english sucks more now.
Had my first ever tuition session with my tutee on Monday. Wasn't as hard as I expected. In fact times flies when I'm teaching Maths. I think I can teach him Maths for the full 3 hours.
It's teaching Science that sucks. Especially when the curious kid kept asking questions. Questions that have totally no relevance to the syllabus. Questions that are probably not related to Science at all .But the job of the teacher is to answer all queries of the student. So I tried my best to answer the questions he asked in the simplest term I can find.
Actually I think I suck at making complex concepts simple. In fact, I can make simple concepts complex. I mean I can't even explain the concept of "atmosphere". I was stumped when the kid asked me why there's so much nitrogen in the atmosphere. Well, the textbook said the bacteria needs them, and bacteria are important to us, so that's how I answered him. Then his question became "Why is bacteria important to us", I was stunned this time round.
How am I supposed to explain all the cheem cheem bacteria-related concepts etc to him in simple language? Well, I resorted to something I should't have. "Well, it's not in your syllabus, you can go check online if you are really interested. Like you can go wikipedia!" I really said that, and to edmund if you're reading, yes, he loves to read wikipedia too. I almost burst out laughing when he told me that.
Mondays are now long long days for me. Tuition from 4-7. Eeks.
Tuesday, in comparison is friggin' short. I end at 1. And I don't have Chem H3. So on Tue, I actually went home early! For the first time in a long long time. Slacking and wasting time at the class bench after school isn't really something I should be doing this year.
But instead of going home and mug, or stay in school and mug, I went home and slacked. -_-" Took a 4 hour long nap. And I'm not a nap person at all. Woke up with a headache, blocked nose, etc, feeling very sick. And the worst thing is I couldn't sleep that night till like 4 am in the morning.
Oh, did I mention I'm sick again? Like after recovering from my previous illness for 3 days, I'm sick again. Makes me wonder if I even recovered in the first place. Wonder if it's the weather, the flu bug that's infecting like everyone in school, or is it just me?
Ok, this is getting very boring. Plus I'm feeling horrible now with a combination of blocked nose that cause my whole head to feel like exploding (maths may have made it worse I supposed).
And to make matters worse, mum is nagging at me, for forgetting to switch off the lights and fans in the dinning room, and for not sleeping early. Actually, she's probably right, I should sleep early. But any form of nagging/noise/talking at this instant is irritating.
Don't talk to me when I'm feeling lousy and horrible.
And my aircon doesn't seem to be working. It's friggin' hot.
Ok, I am signing off now. When I'm not in the mood, I just can't blog. Just like how all clothes seem ugly when I'm not in the shopping mood.
To sum up the rest of the stuff I initially want to blog about..
Comm serve at BHS makes me go 0.0 (wow)
St John makes me :)
H4 makes me :D
And memories of SCS attachment and Taiwan immersion kept flooding back to me these few days for some reason.
The donuts are so delicious, and the kids are so cute!
I miss pigging out late at night like at 2am+ outside 7-11 with them.
I miss my room (sort of) in Zhi Qun's house, they even put a small Singapore flag on the table. I miss his house too!
Or staying out late every night even though it's a school day tomorrow.
I even miss the bus ride with super comfy seats...
I miss Taiwan. :(
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Quiet Day
//Quiet Day//
I really should be studying for Bio SPA now, since it's really important cause it's counted as part of our A level results for Bio...but I just have this sudden urge to blog, like I always do when I'm supposed to be mugging or doing something important. I had a urge to blog during Promos last year, but right after promos, blogging doesn't seem so appealing anymore.
Been feeling quite depressed this few days...maybe depressed is not the right word...it's just a mega fluctuation of emotions everyday...feeling high, feeling sad, feeling bored...
Why do things have to change
I am a brushstroke on a big canvas
That's not by me
- Quiet Day (George)
It really sucks to see changes happening around me, beyond my control. I really do feel like "I'm a brushstroke on a big canvas, that's not by me"....it feels as if I totally have no control over my life...like I'm just part of a painting that's painted by someone else.
It sucks not being in control, but being in control sucks too. I just spent my days sometimes wishing I have more power over my emotions, not allowing the actions or words of others affect mentally, but it's not possible for me...i am just that weak, and sometimes I wished I have more control of how I want to live my life...
And it's funny how I absolutely dread the feeling of being in control, cause I hate to make decisions for others, to the point that I dread making suggestions sometimes. Maybe I should really isolate myself.
Self-isolation. (somehow this reminds me of "wilsoooon!" cause Miss Lim always talk about the movie Castaway when she mentioned "wilsoooon!" ok...a bit no link I know)
I think I can classify myself as being in a weird mood now.
Really weird.
I remembered when we played the adjective game during CT session, I stepped forward when she mentioned temperamental. How true. The slightest and insignificant thing can spoil my day, but I can feel indifferent about major important stuff.
Seriously, there hasn't been much exciting stuff in my life lately, so the ramblings above isn't about anything in particular, it's just everything that has been going on, school, family, relationships with people...
To look past this hour, this day
It's exciting but it is
too big to imagine for me
- Quiet Day (George)
I am really living my life, day by day now...as in I don't dare to think too far into the future, cause it's really a scary thought when I did think about what's gonna happen by the time this year ends...so I'm just trying to live in the present, enjoy the moment (though I don't really seem to be doing so at this very moment) and just hope times don't pass so fast this year.
Kind of weird right, I'm complaining about my life now, yet I know very well myself that I don't want the year to end so fast.
That is why I hope its okay
For me just be now
I just need to have a quiet day
Watch things fade away
I think I'll just sit here
And watch you all go by
- Quiet Day (George)
I really like this song "Quiet Day" from "George" (some Australian band), it has a therapatic effect on me, especially on days when I'm like extremely busy, or when I'm feeling really down, cause it provides an outlet for me to really imagine myself in that scenario in the song...a quiet day...
It's on such days that I really crave for a quiet day...to just let it all go, not just all the work, but all the emotional baggages and so on too...how nice would it be to be totally free from all the crap in life...
Ok, I should stop living in my little fantasy and get back to reality.
Bio SPA, here I come.
I really should be studying for Bio SPA now, since it's really important cause it's counted as part of our A level results for Bio...but I just have this sudden urge to blog, like I always do when I'm supposed to be mugging or doing something important. I had a urge to blog during Promos last year, but right after promos, blogging doesn't seem so appealing anymore.
Been feeling quite depressed this few days...maybe depressed is not the right word...it's just a mega fluctuation of emotions everyday...feeling high, feeling sad, feeling bored...
Why do things have to change
I am a brushstroke on a big canvas
That's not by me
- Quiet Day (George)
It really sucks to see changes happening around me, beyond my control. I really do feel like "I'm a brushstroke on a big canvas, that's not by me"....it feels as if I totally have no control over my life...like I'm just part of a painting that's painted by someone else.
It sucks not being in control, but being in control sucks too. I just spent my days sometimes wishing I have more power over my emotions, not allowing the actions or words of others affect mentally, but it's not possible for me...i am just that weak, and sometimes I wished I have more control of how I want to live my life...
And it's funny how I absolutely dread the feeling of being in control, cause I hate to make decisions for others, to the point that I dread making suggestions sometimes. Maybe I should really isolate myself.
Self-isolation. (somehow this reminds me of "wilsoooon!" cause Miss Lim always talk about the movie Castaway when she mentioned "wilsoooon!" ok...a bit no link I know)
I think I can classify myself as being in a weird mood now.
Really weird.
I remembered when we played the adjective game during CT session, I stepped forward when she mentioned temperamental. How true. The slightest and insignificant thing can spoil my day, but I can feel indifferent about major important stuff.
Seriously, there hasn't been much exciting stuff in my life lately, so the ramblings above isn't about anything in particular, it's just everything that has been going on, school, family, relationships with people...
To look past this hour, this day
It's exciting but it is
too big to imagine for me
- Quiet Day (George)
I am really living my life, day by day now...as in I don't dare to think too far into the future, cause it's really a scary thought when I did think about what's gonna happen by the time this year ends...so I'm just trying to live in the present, enjoy the moment (though I don't really seem to be doing so at this very moment) and just hope times don't pass so fast this year.
Kind of weird right, I'm complaining about my life now, yet I know very well myself that I don't want the year to end so fast.
That is why I hope its okay
For me just be now
I just need to have a quiet day
Watch things fade away
I think I'll just sit here
And watch you all go by
- Quiet Day (George)
I really like this song "Quiet Day" from "George" (some Australian band), it has a therapatic effect on me, especially on days when I'm like extremely busy, or when I'm feeling really down, cause it provides an outlet for me to really imagine myself in that scenario in the song...a quiet day...
It's on such days that I really crave for a quiet day...to just let it all go, not just all the work, but all the emotional baggages and so on too...how nice would it be to be totally free from all the crap in life...
Ok, I should stop living in my little fantasy and get back to reality.
Bio SPA, here I come.
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