The Wait

//The Wait//

2.00pm
Walking to the high school auditorium from SIM...feeling very nervous...not really entirely for my results, cause I thought I should be able to get the least a "B" for HCL (though my gut is telling me anything can happen and I might even get a E) I was more nervous for my classmates taking more subjects...being the pessimist...I keep wondering...what would happen if ALL of them can't stay, I never envisioned the scenario of all of them staying (though I keep telling them to be optimistic)...saw lots of smses from my classmates about how nervous they were...and it makes me nervous...cause the fate of our class more or less lies in their hands...

2.15pm
Seated in the auditorium...got back my results, it was an "A2"..was very satisfied with it, considering how badly I screwed up my paper 2...I looked at my phone...no missed calls...no sms..."maybe they have not received their results yet" I thought...and the wait goes on...

2.30pm
Fooling around the in the 4A classroom, listening to the all Fac dance songs...most were excited that they do not need to take chinese anymore...everyone was in high spirits...but I can't seem to get too excited...still no calls or smses..."what if i call them and they didn't do well...what should i say?"..so I decided not to call anyone yet...the painful wait continues...

2.45pm
Finally received a sms from a classmate: "I went on stage!"...my fear of everyone in the class doing badly is gone...she got really good results...things are starting to look up a little...then another sms from another classmate came: "*tear*"...(which later turn out to be tears of joy)...but still...that's only 2 out of 12...10 more to go...the wait is still on...

3.00pm
We decided to screw it and started to call ppl...instead of waiting...called most of them...some did really really well...some did not perform up to expectation...after hearing all the news...somehow the not-so-good news overshadow the great news...most of their results will enable to stay if they want....but a few of their results are sort of in the danger zone...and this just sets me into a bad mood for the day...but the wait is not over...there are still a couple of classmate whom I don't know their results...

4.00pm
Finally got the results of all classmate (except one whom I cannot contact)...the wait for their results is finally over...despite most doing well...I just felt quite depressed....the prospect that couple of classmates leaving is really depressing for me, i seriously don't want them to leave...i would feel very bored without them around (not that they are here to entertain me larz)...and with most of my squadmates looking gloomy too...it's kinda hard for me to look happy...

5.00pm
Felt very depressed at the training...with so many people around me looking as sad....I wonder if there is anyone at the class bench now...i feel that i wanted to be there now...so went back to the college side with a few squadmates...the class bench was empty except a few seniors who were leaving....seeing the empty class bench makes me even sadder for some reason...

5.30pm
Finally saw a classmate...then another came...and another came....one was in IP...one did extremely well...one did not meet her expectations....she was smiling..but the disappointment in her eyes was obvious....I didn't know what to talk about...I said all the positive things I could think of...suggested all the things she could do etc...but still I couldn't get over the fact that she was so consistent and results were generally quite good...but still face difficulties...unlike some who scored a B or C in some subjects but still can get in..the system is just so screwed up....

6.00pm
My phone keep ringing...but I don't want to go back to training yet...by this point...I just felt that the whole IP system is so scrooed up..it scrooed so many people...some sec 4 students in hwa chong last year did not meet the requirement for promotions...they were forced to repeat a year...those who did make it came...I'm not sure how others felt, but it just feel so cheapskate...I was just lucky to do well in PSLE and got to hwa chong...and so here I'm in HCJC now?

I did not go through all the hassles of preparing for O'lvl like others....and I may not even make it here if I do take O'lvls...in fact out of the whole cohort...I'm sure a significant amount may not be able to make it if not for IP....but here we are now...hogging the place in HC that some others would die for...and so IP indirectly scrooed these people too...if not for the IP students, the vacancies wouldn't be so limited...and competition wouldn't be so steep...and their chances of getting in would be higher....

And no, I'm not whinning about how the IP system sucks cause I did benefit a lot from it...but you can't deny that a lot of people got screwed because of the IP system...yea...a lot of people were screwed in the past by the O'lvl system too...consistent grades but flunking at O lvls...but at least for O lvls, it's fair playing field for all....

But whatever...what's happened has happened...let's just look on the bright side...hope that those who want to stay do ge to stay in the end...and those who want to change subjet combi/jc...all the best to you!