Transition

//Transition//

It's been almost 2 months since I wrote something in this space. Been busy with quite some stuff during the weekends, with tuition mainly and stuff like the 2 overseas trip right after I ORD.

September was a pretty hectic month in camp, I still remember us lamenting on how bad the month of September would be after we first saw the training programme, with SOC test and 10 click run on the same day, and SOCs and ACCTs back to back , and let's not forget the highlight of the month, which is the 24 click route march followed by the 32 click route march.

So, we bitched, we whined, but we still made it through September in one piece, just like how we surviced through the past 15 months together in this hell hole. In a way, every month was a struggle. Life always look bleak at the start of the month when the training programme first came out, but when it's all over, there's always a feeling of "that's not so bad afterall". But seriously, I cannot even imagine how I can make it through the past 16 months without the people around me. Granted we are not perfect, and most of them annoy me sometimes with some of the things they do (and I'm sure I'm much of an annoyance with my...antics), but they are my source of motivation for pressing on a lot of times. But more importantly, they brought the much needed laughter and joy to the camp, making camp life more tolerable.

I still remember there was a time where almost every entry in this space was about how pathetic my life is in this camp, so much so that I decided to stop blogging about life in camp. And now I'm left with just 2 months here. I won't say time flies, cause well it didn't, like I say every month was a struggle.

But despite the misery this place has brought me, I had this weird sensation when I booked in on Monday night. It was kind of the same feeling I got when I booked out for the first time after I enlist, that feeling I got when I stepped into my house. So as I was walking up the slope into the mustering square that Monday night, I can say I almost felt a little happy. But of course that feeling didn't last too long when retarded things happen as usual come Tues morning and the entire week that follows.

I know it's crazy to feel this way, but I can't say I'm too surprise. As ORD approaches, I guess there's a change in mindset for a lot of people. I was telling my favorite mao mi/shang long (MEOW!) that I'm little apprenhensive about ORD-ing. I told him I'm so used to the current pace of life, the company (and I don't mean support company) I have and I'm so used to having things that are out of my control.

Right now, when life sucks, I can blame the whole world for it, blame the people up there for planning f-ed up training programme, blame my superiors (esp a meatball lookalike) for being bastards. I have the right to do that cause I didn't choose to be here, I didn't choose to serve this 2 years. It's all out of my control.

But come 14th dec, I choose what I want to do (or at least to a very large degree I have the choice). I can't blame anyone anymore. But more importantly, come 14th Dec, there's gonna be a huge degree of uncertainty in life, it's no longer be all planned out for me like how the past 2 years has been.

And any form of uncertainty is definitely unsettling.

And I guess I'm not the only one feeling this way. seekiat was talking to me about this a couple of days ago, and I guess we're kind of on the same page with regards to this. I told him for the past 2 years, we focused so much energy on counting down to our ORD, and on bitching about our current state, that we didn't spend enough energy on worrying about what to do after ORD.

That's not to say we don't have plans after ORD, I'm sure we all have holidays planned, and a rough idea what jobs we are seeking and what we are going to study. It's just that we didn't devote too much of our energy on mentally preparing ourselves for life after ORD. 2 years of communal living and having no control over your life is very very different from 2 years in JC. I guess any transition is not going to be easy.

With all that being said, I still look forward to ORD, and I'm definitely happy about it.

But before that, I just need to get used to the idea of holding a pink ic rather than a green one.

And get used to not having the extremely annoying yet wonderfully entertaining and amazing platoon around me 24/7.

I told shanglong (MEOW!) that I would devote an entry in this space to all the people that mattered to me in the 1.5 years in mhc, citing an encounter or experience that I share with each of them that I found most memorable. I actually kind of have the list in mind already, just waiting for a better time to post it.