//CCA//Yep. Double champs for zone competition again :)
It's really a weird feeling watching them compete in competition.
"Our" sec 1s so to speak, are actually competing in the very same competition, that I competed in 3 years ago. And the scary thing is I can actually remember very very clearly what happened during zone competition and national competition that year, and how I felt then. All the nerves, the adrenaline rush just as we march off for a case or footdrill. As cliche as it may seem, it really really did feel like yesterday when I was still training and participating in competition.
I can still very clearly that time when we did 100 kekena lurus to train our bangs and dressing, or the countless times which we would be in the ridiculous attire of the yellow PE shirt, khaki shorts, white socks and black boots doing footdrill at the red tile area or parade square. I can still remember the scenes of us doing case in 2nd floor of EP3 block and EP203.
And one thing for sure, I will never ever forget the moment they announced the results. I remembered during National Competition, we started off by screwing up footdrill, and then screwing up short case. We tried to be optimistic and think about how we can nail TOC. And the world came crashing down when TOC was something really unexpected, TOC without stretcher.
So our lives depended on the long case then. I tried to remain optimistic by deluding all of us by saying "hey, who knows, maybe we will nail the long case, which made up 50% of the whole score" And I will always remember what Jeremy said at that time "If we can't ever do the short case, you expect us to do well in long case?" I knew he was right, but I still cling on to that tinnie winnie bit of hope.
A miracle did happen in the end. I never felt so good coming out of a case before. Usually, I would come out from a case, thinking, I should have done that or this...but that case, it was really really one of the best we did in my opinion.
This is why the moment the results was released will always be remembered. We were not the top 2 in any of the 4 categories, so logically speaking, there's really a low chance for us to be in the overall top 3. I wasn't feeling sad at the moment for losing, I was disappointed that all the 6 months of training ultimately amoutned to nothing. So you can imagine how stunned and shocked I was when they announced "AA2" as the 2nd-runners up.
Stunned ---> Disbelief ---> Heart beats faster ---> Joy ---> Beyond words
Looking back, I will never say I enjoyed competition trainings, cause obviously trainings are not meant to be enjoyable. But if I have learnt anything through my 2 years in JC, it's that it is actually a good thing to have something that you feel is worth fighting and working hard for. It is something that I haven't never really had ever since I left St John.
Training a competition team is another entirely new experience. After competition ended, I was really really eager to share my experience with my juniors at that time, to teach them not only the things I've learnt from the seniors, but from the things I've discovered myself and gain throughout the whole competition training.
One thing that I felt both as a trainee and trainer though is the helpless feeling. Training for competition, I always felt out of my depth, like I'm thrown into a deep pool and struggling to keep afloat. I felt like I was never able to achieve what I'm supposed to.
Training a competition team, I felt the same way in the sense that I cannot achieve that I set out to. No matter how hard I try, the same few mistakes still keep popping up in the team, because ultimately, it is up to them to correct their mistakes after we pointed them out. I know it's hard to correct all those mistakes and try to improve because I went through the same thing too, but I also know that as a trainer, I cannot simply let it go because mistakes are still mistakes, it is my job to make sure the team improves. So we tried all sorts of way....from 1 to 1 specialised training (haha...with my fav cadet) to special training on how to speak fluently...but still, effort is not always proportional to results.
But ultimately, I am glad the team that we trained managed to win Champion in National Competition for the 1st time ever (or at least in a long long time i think...) I did not win the champion, but I am happy that I did contribute in my own little way to the win.
And it's not just the competition, it's everything else. A few of us had a mass convo on msn the other day, and it's scary how we still remember so many things that happened years ago during training and camps.
No matter what or how others perceive st john to be, I still think it gave me one of the most memorable parts of my entire sch life (now that it's ending), and I will say I am proud to be a member of HC st john.
Tkd will never match up to what I had I guess. I feel like it's a screwed up cca in so many different ways. I don't really care anymore what others in the club may think if they read this anymore...i know i am very anti-social when it comes to tkd, i am very dao and stuff, but if I only behave this way in certain situations such as this, i guess a big part of it has to do with the people in the club itself. Or rather, maybe it's just like oil and water, nobody's fault, we just can't mix.
Competition is in less than a month's time, I'm gonna train hard to prove somebody wrong. At least I can't say I didn't try this time like last year.
