Fly Away

//Fly Away//



Admist chaos, they came.

Chaos as in I was totally busy with tutorials, EOM, PW, SPA, and the endless list of work basically. My room was in a total mess, then before I can get everything ready and in order, it's already 29th July, and in a total disorientated state, I met my buddy Kendall.

2 weeks fast forward just like in the movie "Click".

Admist chaos, they left.

Chaos as in I was feeling totally tired , feeling rather detached from my own life, yet I don't want it to end, I don't them to go back, my mind was just in a huge mess basically...

Then they flew away in the plane...and it just ended.

I did not cry at the airport. I did not cry at the farwell dinner too.

But I cried at a part in the movie "Click".

Weird isn't it?

Watching a movie, crying over a sad scene, it's very direct and straightforward, I'm just sitting there, absorbing in everything, so yes, I cried.

But at the airport, at the farewell dinner, my mind is in a total mess.

There are people crying, there are people feeling ok, but if you ask me what do I feel at that time, I couldn't answer you. I was feeling lost I guessed, I don't want it to end, I don't want them to go, but I start thinking about the work that I can complete once they are gone, how I can finally catch up with my friends, how I can finally get some sleep, it's just very very conflicting, and it just left no room in me to cry.

It's not like movie, where it's direct, it's sad hence you cry, it doesn't work this way in reality, there are a lot other emotions other than sadness that I am feeling at that point.

People are talking about staying in contact, not forgetting each other, and I would very very very much like to say that and to actually do that too. But in reality, how long can this last?

Terence mentioned in his blog before, we are afterall strangers from 2 different parts of the world who got to know each other in a short amount of time, a bond is formed, but time will break this bond eventually. Sooner or later, we would stop chatting on MSN, stop writing to each other...we have to move on eventually....

And in this case, it's even more saddening, cause it's not just a simple get-to-know-each-other in a short period of time, it's living with a person for 2 weeks, and such close bonds are formed.

Yet despite all the promise to keep in touch and so on, you know deep down in your heart that the ending would be the same - it won't last.

This hurts even more than the actual goodbye.

So on that day, I was feeling frustrated too, among all the other emotions I was feeling. A lot of frustration mixed with saddness and a tiny winy bit of relief. I don't know what word to use to describe this feeling, I can just say it's not a good feeling.

I spent my entire Friday sleeping away, partly cause I was really physically tired, but also because I wanna stop thinking about it, cause the more I think about it, the more *wadeva it is* I feel.

Ever since Friday, it was kind of like a withdrawal stage..

Saturday passed with PW meeting...and Sunday passed with a whole day of mugging at Changi Airport...

I was feeling slightly better, then suddenly this song on my playlist started playing...

You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be prayin every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away
- Fly Away (Corrinne May)

This was the song that was playing at the hotel during our farewell dinner, before the dinner started, and when it ended as we left the place....

It sort of hit me a little.

I wanted to go the Taiwan so so bad, but chances are we won't be the same 20 people again since we are all attached to different school, and I really don't want to go through this whole farewell thing again...mind at conflict again...

And there's still promos in between, and PW, and god knows what else...

I thought I have sucessfully put this TIP behind me and have moved on, with PW on Sat and mugging on Sun, never was I so productive for a weekend...

I guess I was wrong...I just supress it by keeping myself busy so that I don't think about it...

The song is really bringing me down...yet I'm putting it on repeat...so ironic...I am just the kind that want to listen to sad songs when I'm sad to make myself even sadder...

I had this song in my playlist for a long long time, but it never meant much to me till now...

I really want to blog down what happenend in the past 2 weeks, don't want to forget it...but not today I guess...

.十二月的约定. [hCI]*[06A11] says:
time really flies..the whole thing came n went so quickly

.十二月的约定. [hCI]*[06A11] says:
wat's left is a pile of untouched hmwrk

So true...time just flew away like they did...