Fed Up

//Fed Up//

Totally fed up with writing this stupid essay.

Argh.

Like A Star

//Like A Star//

1. Put your iTunes/Napster/Zune Player/WinAmp/etc on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 10 or more friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got it from.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Jay Chou - 稻香

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Leona Lewis - Run

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Tanya Chua - 深信不疑

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Duffy - Syrup & Honey
-_-??

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Gigi Leung - 沉迷
LOL

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Kelly Clarkson - Irvine

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Amos Lee - Colours

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
锦绣二重唱 - 我的快乐

WHAT IS 2+2?
Jason Mraz - I'm Yours

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Faye Wong - 开到荼靡

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Duffy - Mercy

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
轻松玩乐团 - 看清

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
卢广仲 - 100种生活
Sounds fun!!!

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Kelly Clarkson - Up To The Mountain
Wooo...KINKY!

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
许茹芸 & 阿穆隆 - 男人女人
NOOOO!!!

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
薛岳 - 灼热的生命
More like a song for funeral bah?

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Tanya Chua - The Blower's Daughter

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
陈珊妮 - 尼可拉斯
This one is dedicated to all the Nicholas-es I know.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Tanya Chua - 越来越不懂
HAHA!

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Eason Chen - 爱情转移

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
KT Tunstall - Throw Me A Rope
HAHA! How apt.

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Coco Lee & 柯以敏 - 她在睡前哭泣

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
陈珊妮 - 来不及
No lor, this song makes me cry.

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Jay Chou - 说好的幸福呢

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Britney Spears - Womanizer
Apparently, the answer is clear.

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
杨乃文 - 今天清晨

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
轻松玩乐团 - 忘了

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
KT Tunstall - Other Side Of The World

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
黄耀明 - 春光乍泄

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Corinne Bailey Rae - Like A Star

ORD

//ORD//

It's been quite a long while since I last posted here.

And surprise surprise, I'm going to blog about my NS life again!

And even more surprises, for once, I'm not going to whine about my NS life! Really 新年进步!!

I remember back in Nov last year, when most of my coy's commanders ORD-ed... I felt...so so jealous...to see so many people ord-ing...and you're not one of them. True, they have served their 2 years, but still, it sucks to be stuck in a place you don't wanna be at and seeing people leaving just makes it worse. So yes, I had a pretty a bad week back then.

And just yesterday, there was a ORD parade for the ORD-ing personnels in Feb/Mar period. I seriously thought I would be feeling damn moody about it and all, esp since that would mean yet another late bookout on a friday night since signal's always arrowed to do PA system. I was at the post-parade dinner at the cookhouse, and to be honest, the whole dinner, with all the videos, songs etc...kind of made me wonder what my own ORD will be like.

I mean of course we ALL look forward to ORD, to the day we finally get our pink IC, the day we are finally free. But yesterday night, as I watched all of them...crowding around..singing 'Seasons in the sun" together, I really felt a tinge of sadness. It's one of those fleeting moments of sadness...like those you feel at a graduation ceremony, on the last day in school and so on.

And yes, I admit, for that split moment, I don't wanna ORD.

I mean...afterall...after 1.5 years of living together...bitching together...rolling eyes together...and enduring all the nonsense...I don't dare say we are very very close or what...but it's my life now..and they are such a big part of it... so it's not gonna be easy to just leave like that...emotionally that is. So yea...for that split moment, I didn't want to go.

Luckily it was only for that split moment. Cause all the other crap and reasons why we all wanna ORD so badly started flooding into my mind, and I was convinved that yes, ORD is the solution to all problems.

Enough of NS stuff, went to shuying and sylvia's house to 拜年 last weekend. It's so so good to see friends that I haven't met up with for so long. And yes, my post-ORD overseas trip has been confirmed! At least the date has been more or less settled...17th dec to 27th dec...with the TIP people...maybe going Taiwan or anywhere else where we can just go free and easy...Something to look forward to after ORD!

Blessed be that quill you wield in your hand
Seek that enchanter, Orim, who dwells amongst the mountains of Chixpar
There the journey might be perilous, dangerous and spiritbreaking
But go shall you still, knowing that Luna, She the Mother of poets and stanzas shall guide you in your quest

- Hui Chi Weng

Lol.

The Many Quotes Of Iven Peh

//The Many Quotes Of Iven Peh//

I know I probably shouldn't waste my first entry of 2009 on this, but I've been wanting to blog this for quite some time, and I really don't feel like sitting down and writing a long boring piece on my crappy 2008, or on how I fell into a drain during my 12 km route march, or abt the XXX of the year awards for my platoon (which I've been wanting to blog about fora long time too)...or the farewell dinner we had for PS today...or the new year countdown meet up with the TIP people....

Yea...there's quite some stuff I wanna blog about...

But I'm just lazy...so this will do...cause it's short...

Iven peh sze kiat! This entry is dedicated to you!

Quote 1
Wesley: Iven peh! I thought you said you were very full already? (after seeing iven peh take a piece of KFC chicken)

Iven Peh: Yea I am! But I just felt my baby kicked!

Quote 2
Zhong Hao: Iven peh! When are you going to return me my money? (notice how people always 'iven peh!' him before saying anything)

Iven Peh: Ok ok, I will go draw money now and return you since you have a big butt.

Quote 3:
Iven Peh: Don't you think this looks damn sexy? (he was eating this pink nonya kueh)

Me: Yea! You should take a photo with it!

Iven Peh: Cannot la! Sexy and sexy clash, then it's not so sexy anymore.


His quotes are always so so random and so not funny that it became funny. And he's like a random quote generator, at the rate I'm blogging, I can end off all my entries with at least 1 Iven peh quote for the rest of the year.

Seriously iven peh, you win.

Think Big

//Think Big//



That was our (as in me, terence and cheng) priceless gift for Jeremy for his commissioning parade.

It sure attracted a lot of attention when we transported it from Marina Square all the way to Bishan and subsequently to Safti.

But yea, THINK BIG! MAKE IT HAPPEN! (that's the quote after 'Think Big' but it's not captured in this photo).

And I did. I actually did something today that I never thought I would ever dare try. And surprisely, it didn't go too badly. Not that I harbour any hope of advancing, but I really thought it would be much worse. At least now I know how it feels like, and I'm just very very glad that I achieve my goal of not screwing up totally.

On a different note, I think we all have our own breaking point, where you just give up pretending to be fine with things and just let it all out, and what happened last fri really pushed a lot of my platoon mates close to that point. I have never seen some of them so agitated, irritated, annoyed and most importantly, bitch non stop for so long.

And I love how we were all like "GO!!! QUICKLY CHANGE AND GO BEFORE THEY MAKE YOU DO SAIGANG!" to every single one who is changing into bookout attire cause they were given permission to book out earlier. To quote chin slut, "better one less person suffering than we all suffer tgt."

Weddings

//Weddings//

I don't like wedding dinner/lunch.

Especially weddings of relatives you hardly know. I just went for my cousin's wedding lunch last monday and it just reaffirm my dislike for wedding dinners and lunch and whatsoever.

I mean I show up, I see all my relatives that I don't really know, and we pretend to show a lot of interests in each other's life. How nice is that. Ok, maybe I shouldn't say we pretend to care about each other, maybe they do care, and perhaps I really do care too, but seriously our so called 'care for each other' will only last for that few hours or so.

And yes, I know my parents are right, I should probably try a little harder to maintain a relationship, especially with my cousins around my age, but I am a firm believer that if we don't click, we just don't. I mean with most of them, it's like we live in totally different worlds, and if you wanna look at it from a signaller pov, it's like 2 people trying very hard to press the PTT button and establishing comms with each other, but the frequency is different, so no matter how hard one tries, no comms will be through, not even any form of interference or noise.

Anyway back to wedding, I mean it's really sweet that 2 people wanna commit to each other and spend the rest of their lives with each other, but is there really a need to spend so much on a wedding? It feels as though most people are just going through the motion of it all.

To be honest, I haven't really been to a wedding where the bride and groom looks truly happy. I mean I don't know, but to me, it's often a lot of forced smiles and laughter. I mean maybe I'm a cynic, but can you imagine having to put a smile on your face the entire night, going from table to table to take photographs with all your guests (most of which you may not even know) then at the end of it, stand there and shake hands with everyone? Sounds more like a chore to me.

Watched "27 Dresses" lately, which is about wedding, in a way, bridesmaid to be exact. It's actually quite an enjoyable watch, a feel-good movie I would say. Cliche, totally predictable, but still it makes you feel good.

On a seperate note, I went back to school today!

I was there to get my certs certified true, and I was waiting to pass meng his phone so I had about 1 hour plus to kill.

It's always so so nice to be walking around in that compound, everything is so familiar, almost like I never left. And I even went back to all my classrooms from sec 1 to 4...too bad they were mostly locked, but I did manage to get into the 4A classroom in the clock tower. It just feels so...liberating, to be back in a familiar place, especially on a beautiful friday afternoon (when I'm usually in camp). It's a wonder how simple infrastructure, buildings, places can bring back so much memories. Almost every single inch of the school that I walked by today brought a scene or two that's deepyl etched in my mind.

The school's pretty empty since it's the school holidays but there's always students around, and I have this strong urge to go up to them, and tell them to have fun, to really really enjoy their time in the school, and to just treasure every single moment, cause it's probably one of the best times of my life.

And chinese high's really beautiful, not that I never realised this before. I was so pissed that I didn't bring my camera phone along today, especially when I'm staring out from the balcony in the clock tower. But nevermind, I had some photos of the school taken by zhiqun when he came over to singapore for tip in 06...

You know, there's so much I wanna say, and now is just one of those times where words fail me, I'm completely at a loss of words. It's just amazing, and it's totally different from going back to school to collect a lvl results, or for maf or whatsoever, where there's so many people and so on. Today's just another quiet day in hwa chong, and it's just as beautiful as ever.

This trip back to school really kind of revitalised me in a major way, especially considering the crappy past few weeks I had. And it's nice to just look back on the life I had, especially since I've been so so caught up with my future lately with all the uni and scholarship application and what nots. It's like a breather I guess. I'm just so glad i went back.


It's beautiful isn't it? And mind you, it's a photograph taken by zhiqun, not some photoshop-edited photos koped from the official website.


Looking down from level 2 of the clock tower...


There are times where your camera fails you, and this is one of the instance. The view at the balcony from the clock tower is really quite spectacular but there's only so much the camera can capture...


Si Yuan Fang...

Really Random Entry

//Really Random Entry//

Just some random thoughts that popped into my mind recently...

I realised it's much easier to write about negative things than positive ones...ask me to bash my unit, I can basically just vomit out everything...ask me to write about some positive qualities of myself for my personal statement, I'm totally stuck.

Speaking of personal statement, it's taking up WAY too much of my precious weekend time.

And yes, my unit, "XXXX, where shit happens everyday!" (where XXXX = name of my unit), that's the new motto my platoon mate came up for my unit. How apt.

Prom!! Not my prom of course, but facebook is totally flooded with prom photos for this year... my prom seems so so distant...

And end of prom = enlistment for my juniors coming really soon (for those in ptp tt is)...which also means my 1 year enlistment anniversary/1 year to ORD is coming real soon too...gonna celebrate with a watermelon soya bean from Mr Bean and an apple pie from MacDonalds when I booked out for my BTT on 15th dec...

Can't wait to see the emo facebook's status/msn nicks of my juniors after they enlist..haha...I feel so evil...22/24 more months for them! hahahah...

And I wanna go for a holiday so bad! And the new season of Heroes is so bad!

Tolerance Level

//Tolerance Level//

I actually have a personal statement for ucas to work on, but this is something that has been bugging me for the past 2 weeks...so the personal statement..shall wait.

I always thought I'm a pretty tolerant person. I admit I do get annoyed easily but I do believe I always managed to keep it to myself, and more often than not, resolve issues internally.

Well, that was till I came to where I am right now.

You would think that in the organisation that I'm in right now, with all the nonsense going on, one would feel numb after a while, but apparently not. Almost 1 year in, instead of getting used to the life of a national slave, I find myself getting more and more annoyed with it. And yes, I get annoyed very very easily nowadays too, and it's not hard to imagine why given the nonsense we have to endure. If even someone as zen and as calm as joshua cannot take it, I cannot even imagine how some of my platoon mates or me for that matter of fact got through it. They basically just pushed me right past my tolerance threshold and a lot of times, I just feel like inflicting physical harm on certain people.

Yes, bitching and whinning helped, but all that does for us is just to allow us to vent our frustrations together because at the end of the day the negativity aura is still so strong and it's still there.

So yes, I resorted to eating. Ok, maybe that's probably too mild a word. Gorging on food seems more appropriate. At least I feel like there's still something good in life (in there that is) when I'm gorging on food.

And the worst part is I'm not even talking about the physical stuff they made us do. Like having 7 SOCs in 12 days (or 10 SOCs in fact, since we basically did 4 x SOC today during RT), and all the AGR, strength training, speed training, coy PT etc.

All those stuff, I can understand why we are doing it, and at the end of the day, we do gain from it, though I have to say it can get rather inhumane at times (like 4 SOC trainings in 1 week?!).

I'm talking about nonsensical stuff that we were made to do thanks to the total incapabilities of certain individuals, which I won't even bother to elaborate because it just makes me feel even more sad.

And yes, some of the nonsensical stuff we were made to do may seem trivial to some and not really a big deal, but what's upsetting me the most is that there seems to be no end. History just keeps repeating itself, and nonsense just happens on a regular basis. It's almost like nonsense is part and parcel of my life in that shit hole right now. When there's finally time for some rest, shit will happen without fail. Like terence said, we are pawns afterall.

It has gotten to a point, where I just stop wishing and hoping. There's no need to wish for anything or hope that life will get better, cause it just won't. They have drained all the optimism I have left in me in the past 2 weeks.

There's no point saying 'hang in there' or 'i'll survive!' cause I know I won't die in there, I'll just be annoyed to no end and live miserably for my remaining 380 days.

3 Shooting Stars, 6 Kangaroos, 1 Wonderful Platoon

//3 Shooting Stars, 6 Kangaroos, 1 Wonderful Platoon//

Ok, that's a disgusting title.

I wanted to blog about my experience in australia, but I just couldn't overcome the inertia to actually do something about it, which is kind of the story of my life. I'm simply too lazy to start to do anything.

But seeing that I've nothing to do now, and I'm sitting in front of my comp, so why not? Just a little on my 20+ days there.

I remember someone asked us what have we learnt from the trip so far (while we were still there that is), and I remember I answered "nothing much actually" then. And now that it's over, I guess the answer is still the same.

I mean honestly speaking, I really don't think I've made any amazing discoveries about myself through this trip, other than the fact that I can eat 3 green packs (+ 1 dessert pack) for dinner (yes, even I'm amazed, but you must take into account I didn't eat lunch that day), and that 'Red Bean Dumpling [with chicken]' is probably the best green pack.

Hardly ground-breaking or earth-shattering discoveries in my opinion.

Maybe the training did not push me to my physical and mental limits, although I do have to admit certain walks are definitely tiring, but thinking back, I think we've all been through worst..so yea. And manning comms in the ever so bumpy and noisy jambu is definitely no joke, but I'm still not deaf yet, so I guess it wasn't that bad. I mean even the idiotic behaviour by certain individuals didn't drive me totally insane.

But I guess the main reason why I coped pretty well with everything is cause of my platoon mates.

So we grit teeth, we roll eyes, we bitch stared but we'll never depart. :]
- yap chin slut

I think that pretty much summed up everything.

Even in the worst situations, faced with the worst people we can possibly meet, they always somehow manage to make me feel not so crappy about it. I guess standing together, bitching about the situation, mocking certain individuals, while silently pushing each other on does help a lot.

So if you asked me what I remember about my days there, I would probably say I remember the 3 shooting stars I saw, the 6 wild kangaroos I saw, the starry starry night sky we see every night while manning comms, the long cold night..especially the night where it dropped to 7 degrees and me, kian hong and chi weng were literally cooking noodles and making hot drinks throughout our shift to keep ourselves warm and occupied, and most importantly I remember how we got through this whole 20+ days together.

Of course there's the RnR, which there isn't actually much to talk about, since it was so boring that cam whoring became our main source of entertainment.

On a separate note, those that I've been talking to recently would probably know that I'm kind of in a 'lost' mode with regards to my education choices (which in a way is linked to what I want in life in general), be it choice of university, course or even country, which is what inspired my last entry.

Well, I sort of had an epiphany yesterday. And no, I didn't gain enlightenment under a tree or through meditation or what. It's actually something my mum said (not to me, she was actually talking to my aunts) that ignite something in me that I thought died a while ago.

And no, it doesn't really help me with my decision over my course and university and so on, but at least now I feel like the direction is clearer, I know what I want long term.

Or at least I think I know, because who knows what I will want in 5 years or 1o years time. But the problem is what I want, is kind of in direct conflict with my main few choices of courses in university right now.

Well, but at least there's a starting point for me to work on now, and mingwei is right, I need to start with what I want in the long run in order to decide what I want to study right now.

Ok..enough with that. I'm finally started with the whole 'get-a-civilian-driving-license' quest, I booked my BTT on 15th Dec 2008, which happened to be my 1 year enlistment anniversary. Please..let me book out on that day...

Tree

//Tree//



Don't you think that this tree (photo taken in australia btw) looks lonely and lost?

Been reading this book called "A Place Called Here" by Cecelia Ahern, which talks about how 'lost' things/people/memories end up in a place called 'Here'. And I admit there are moments I felt like I was 'Here' in the past 3 weeks.

And coincidentally, I watched "Lost In Translation" on my flight there, which is a movie that deals with the issue of being lost in your life too.

Nevermind, shall talk about it another time in another entry.

Now I shall just look forward to my wonderfully packed programmes for the next few days, which happens to be all eating outings! From western to chinese (yumcha high tea buffet!) to thai (lerk thai high tea buffet!) to bbq...there's no way I will not gain weight...

Leave

//Leave//

踩着月光打开车窗
离开这城市想找个解放
一路开往最高那一座山
孤单的想像寂寞的逃亡
- 孙燕姿 (逃亡)

Sometimes, when life really sucks, and everything's going wrong, you're feeling really down, don't you just feel like running away.

Not that my life really sucks to that point right now, but I must admit it's a thought that creeps into my mind quite frequently, especially recently. I mean, it's tempting isn't it, to stop whatever nonsense you're doing right now, and just leave, to a far far away place, where no one knows you.

The whole idea of leaving just like that is just very..appealing. I think it comes from the thrill of doing something without considering the consequences, which is in a way reckless I guess. And for someone like me who always thinks too much, consider so many factors before making a simple decision, it's an appealing notion (maybe cause I know I will never ever have the guts to do that).

There has been lots of discussions about post-ord plans recently in the bunk, and there was this particular topic of backpacking being brought up. To be exact, some of my bunkmates were talking about a 6 month long backpacking trip, starting from here all to way to switzerland, using the most basic means of transport like buses and trains.

It sounds crazy, but the very fact that it's crazy makes it so exciting, which probably triggered the whole 'leaving' mood in me.

Speaking of my bunkmates, it's been 2 weeks since my stay-out jeep course ended, which means I've been back at hell-hole for 2 weeks (which felt like eternity). It felt different, the whole vibe in camp, maybe it's cause of the new faces, or maybe I'm just too used to staying out I don't know. But one thing never change, some people (1 in particular) are still as intolerable (to quote my bunkmate) as they were before I left. And yes, one more thing that never change, they still never fail to surprise me with some of the things they do. It's quite a feat if you actually think about it, to keep outdoing yourself and constantly surprising us with your complete lack of common sense.

On a different note, recently (a few days ago in fact) a platoon mate of mine got into an minor accident while clocking mileage on his motorbike. He didn't suffer much serious injuries, but was still hospitalised for further observations. And surprisely, his full body checkup reveals a heart problem (which is not yet determined exactly).

But that's not the point I wanna make.

When I first heard of this news, the first thought that flashes through my mind is "oh my god is it serious? Is he going to be ok??". But that thought probably stayed like for 0.2 seconds or something cause another thought immediately took over "is he still going to go australia? oh my god, he may be able to down pes and get out of here!!"

I know it's kind of cold-blooded to think about down pes-ing and so on, but well, that's not something you can control, and the sad thing is from what I observe, I'm not the only one who think that way.

Most of my platoon mates, upon hearing the news, seemed shocked (that's their initial reaction), then they seemed happy yet worried for him at the same time. Happy that he may get to downpes and leave this hell-hole, but still human enough to worry about how serious the condition is.

Speaks volumes about how great NS is and how wonderful my unit it.

Ok, I should really stop here before I say too much and get myself in trouble. :)

Let's speak about more positive stuff that happen in camp (?!)

Yes, life may be bleak in there, but it's not totally void of positive things. For one, majority of the platoon is a joy to hang out with, and for the past week or so, we've all been so busy with the washing and packing of our stores and stuff into the kitbag.

Packing itself may be a bitch, but the feeling of satisfaction when you finally manage to squeeze every single damn thing inside and zip up the kitbag is sweeeeeet. And like joshua said, it's like doing strength training, cause we needed like 2-3 people to zip up 1 kitbag. And we have to pack everything in and out, in and out for all the inspections and so on. Tiring it may be, it's actually quite funny la, especially when everyone's doing it together, frantically and desperately trying to squeeze everything inside.

So the kitbag's packed and sent.

2 more days before I disappear from the surface of earth.

Wish me luck!

Mr Accident-Prone

//Mr Accident-Prone//

Yep that's me.

I can't believe I fell down from the Jeep while doing camouflaging. My butt still hurts la!

And after driving the manual jeep for like 20+ days, I actually knock my head today when I try to mount the jeep. I don't know how I did it, but I did.

And if you think that auto jeep's much safer cause there's no door or so on for me to knock into, you're so wrong. My shin hit the vehicle when I try to climb up into it.

And to top it off, the instructor who took me for auto jeep was like "aiyo, you better walk properly, don't fall from jeep, knock head, hit leg anymore" after I told him about my blur cock moments, and I was like "yes sir yes sir" and right at that moment, I step right into a puddle of muddy water.

-_-

Alone

//Alone//

I was at Heartland Mall eating dinner alone at KFC just now. Don't ask me why I was eating dinner there alone, it's a long long story which involves me exchanging DVD -R for DVD +R at Popular.

But yea, somehow it feels pretty miserable eating dinner alone.

It actually felt lonely.

The funny thing is I was never a person who cannot stand being alone. I crave for solitude in fact. I never had problem with watching movies alone, in fact I've watched quite a number of movies alone before, and I usually find myself enjoying the movie a lot more. The act of watching movies at the theatres, to most people (me included), is just another way to spend time with friends. That's why if I bother to drag my lazy ass to watch a movie alone, I usually find myself a lot more focused on the movie, and enjoying it a lot more.

But yea, discussing the meaning behind watching a movie isn't what I really want to blog about here. As I was saying, I felt lonely, for god knows what reason. And note, I used 'lonely', I didn't say 'alone'. There's a very big difference between the 2.

'Alone' is a lot more neutral, it's very matter of fact. If you are by yourself, you are alone. Like I said, I have no qualms with doing things alone.

'Lonely', on the other hand, deals with an emotional state. You can be surrounded by friends and yet, still feel lonely.

孤单是一个人的狂欢
狂欢是一群人的孤单
- 阿桑 (叶子)

See what I mean? It's kind of interesting, "狂欢是一群人的孤单", I mean we're constantly surrounded by people, by family, by friends, but how many of us don't feel lonely at all. I guess everyone feels lonely to a certain degree no matter how happy he/she may seem.

So I was lonely and bored. When you're lonely and bored, you people-watch. Well, I don't know about you, but I do, as I was eating that is.

And I discover a very disturbing fact. Almost every single person I saw was with someone else. Are we so dependant on human company? Are we like incapable of spending time alone??

I saw this lesbian couple (yes, I'm very sure it's a lesbian couple, or maybe I should say I saw this butch with this girl behaving like a couple). They reminded me of qingyi and ash (and wenqin if you're reading, i'm not talking about the qingyi and ash in our driving course, i was talking abt my jc classmate n her gf).

And I saw 3 srjc students, 1 girl and 2 guys. Totally reminded me of how me, mitch and everlyn would go eat at tiong bahru plaza after our comm serve.

As I went to the toilet, I also saw this 2 jc students (of which one is a very ugly sajc girl, but yea, that's not the point) mugging biology. I can recognise the alpha helix protein structure. Again, I was reminded of how I always mug with ever and wilson almost anywhere there's food, and that scene totally reminded me of the 3 of us mugging at KAP for our final bio MCQ for a lvls.

I also saw this dad with his 2 sons, a married couple with their maid (or maybe it's their maid lookalike daughter), this parent with their 2 kids, 3 PRCs (which I think compromises of 1 couple + 1 girl who's acting as the lightbulb).

So just as I was marvelling at the fact that I'm the only person eating alone in KFC, I suddenly spotted this other guy in executive wear eating alone too! For a moment, I was kind of relieved, at least I'm not the only one alone. But then it suddenly dawned on me that, that's me. That's exactly how I'm going to be like in the future.

Assuming I move out after I get a job in the future, I'm living alone, that's probably how I will settle my dinner every night, eating alone. That guy looked so...miserable. As he's eating his fries, there's no passion, it's almost like he's eating for the sake of eating, he's eating cause if he don't he will starve to death. Ok, I know it sounds a bit over the top, but that's the vibe I got from him. I definitely don't wanna end up like him.

So I came to this conclusion.

I MUST LEARN HOW TO COOOK! At least I would be eating alone at home, and not showing my pathetic self to the rest of the world. Furthermore, think of all the $$$ I can save. So yes, I must learn how to cook!

On a ending note, the driving course is ending like 4 days time. I'm so so going to miss staying out.

MAF

//MAF//

Ok, I admit, it's been EONS since I last updated my blog.

Stay-out life is pretty good, it felt like I'm back in school, reporting everyday at 7.30 am, going for "practicals" and theory lessons. It felt exactly the same, you know, the anticipation of going home everyday (ok I admit it was more of the anticipation of lessons ending while back in JC, rather than going home), and the sweet feeling of being dismissed at the end of the day. The bus ride home everyday felt the same too, people-watching, stoning, daydreaming...I'm really enjoying all of this.

What I'm not enjoying so much, is the course itself, and to be more exact, driving with the instructor constantly putting you down right beside you. I mean I enjoy driving, I really really do, but the conditions in which I'm driving in, not so much. I know I'm not the best driver around, and that I'm probably a bit more blur than your usual trainee, but to scold me for scratching my ears while driving...it's just unreasonable la. Oh well, I'm getting used to it liao, and just like Qingyi said, we have to learn to shut him out and concentrate on driving, so...oh well. I admit he's a pretty damn good instructor, but sometimes the things he scold...can be so unreasonable...anyway just about 2 more weeks of driving and I would be out of there.

Anyway, I think I've deviated enough, I wanted to talk about MAF.


Pretty lights...

You know, now that I've graduated, MAF suddenly makes more sense. Not that it doesn't for the past 2 years, but well, for the past 2 years, going to MAF is just like another night in school with a bit of songs and mass dance.

It's totally different now, you know I realised that after I've graduated, any excuse or chance to go school is very much appreciated. Like the J1 orientation campfire, and in this case MAF. It's not just about meeting up with your classmates or what, cause it can be very easily arranged outside, a movie, a dinner, or even a surprise birthday party. It's the meeting in school that makes it different.

Sitting at the class bench yesterday and stoning, felt especially nostalgic. It's almost like we never did leave the school. And we realised our juniors are probably busy mugging for their prelims and frantically panicking over A lvls, while we're happily relaxing and chilling at the class bench. What a difference a year made.

It's a pity that it rained just as the song and dance session is about to start, but going to the hall for it isn't that bad too. I think it was the first time I stepped into that hall since the end of A lvls. The last time I was there was probably the last paper of A levels (bio mcq).

Speaking of which, it was great seeing the teachers too! I never realised the reading room was open for students to look for their teachers, well, cause probably we never had to go to the reading room to look for teachers for the past 2 years, since we see them like everyday.

Anyway...I know this will look a bit bimbotic, but yea...haha...

I <3 HC!


S71!



I <3 71!


05 & 06S71

Mood

//Mood//

I'm not really in the mood to blog these days. I mean it's not that I have nothing to blog about, there are days, or rather moments in camp, where my mind just click and there's so much I wanna express, but once the moment's gone, it's kind of hard to get it back. The emotions and feelings I wanna express at that moment just kind of slip away very fast, and it's very hard to get that some feeling again during weekend when I'm sitting down in front of the comp. So I guess that's why I've been blogging much these days, and even when I do, it's some fluffy stuff.

Just 1 thing before I sign off...there's a high possibilty I would be stuck in camp for the next 3 weeks. 2 weekends burnt cause of outfields, parades and AHM. I feel like I'm going to disappear from the surface of the earth for the next 7 days cause of the upcoming exercise since I would not be contactable at all. Oh well.

Pointless Rambling

//Pointless Rambling//

Last few weeks...I can't really remember what happened.

I kind of lost track of time.

I remember I had a class outing...like...a week ago? Yea, I think so. Or is it 2? Can't remember.

Nothing major's happening in camp too. Unless you consider the "no-more-fieldpack-while-marching-to-cookhouse" thing major, or the "no-more-stupid-sbo-run-in-the-morning" important...It's great, that we no longer have to do such stupid things, but it's way overdue in my opinion, not that my opinion actually matters.

Oh, I suddenly remember something memorable. We went Sungei Gedong for some infantry motorisation thing. And I bump into cheng twice in a row! Sungei Gedong definitely brought back memories of OVL...though I wished it was Stagmont that we went back to...

Actually, there's really nothing much to talk about. Not that life's miserable or what, but there's just nothing much happening. Even my mind seems to be on hibernation mode these days. Not much intellectual thoughts formulating in my tiny little brain. But generally, I'm happy with status quo, platoon mates have been great (majority of them anyway), and they really made life so much more bearable.

Okay, enough of pointless ramblings.

Time to book in again.

Random

//Random//

Some random musings before I book in...

Having little metallic things wrap around your teeth is totally not fun. for one, it hurts like hell, which means I can't eat, which makes me feel really really miserable. And it feels damn weird to have things poking out from your teeth, makes me feel like a vampire.

With that being said, I am still kind of looking forward to see myself with the full metallic bracket on...though I must admit I'm not quite looking forward to the even weirder sensation I will feel with everything on.

i guess that's how betty feels??

Moving on...brought 2 books into camp last week. Didn't think I could finish them since I was on leave last Monday, which means I should be in camp only for 4 days, of which 2 days were spent outfield. But surprise surprise, I did...all thanks to the Saturday guard duty.

"Derailed" is properly one of the more exciting books I've read recently, which actually isn't that hard to imagine if you look at the list of books I read recently. I was actually surprised by most of the twists, which was surprising in itself, because in retrospect, the twists are actually quite predictable. But all in all, it's a really enjoyable read.

"Dreaming of Strangers" on the other hand is just -_-. I wished I could say it sucked badly, but I can't. In actual fact, nothing much happened, the story didn't quite take off at all, I mean there wasn't even much of a story to start with. And to add on to nothingness that happened, there were all these weird ridiculous chapters to describe Chris's favourite movies and Becca's weird boyfriends. I thought these chapters would somehow matter in the grand scheme of the plot, I guessed I gave the author too much credit.

On a totally unrelated note (I realised I used this line a lot...), found out some interesting stuff about some of my platoon mates over the past couple of weeks. Shaun Yap (or Seng Onn as I prefer to call him, especially when I come back from SOC) participated in a SMS competition before! It was a totally unproductive friday afternoon, we were all waiting for book out, and I was so bored that I decided to sms Seng Onn even though he was just sitting beside me, and he actually sent me the sms that he was supposed to type in that competition.

He's quite an interesting guy because his personality and his looks totally don't match. For one. he totally doesn't look like he can drive, and no one would ever guessed that he's so so into cars.

Another interesting revealation...chi weng was from lion dance! For someone who can't formulate a proper chinese sentence, lion dance was the last CCA I would expect him to be in.

Just took a look at my Countdown timer, 524 days to ORD.

524 days to freedom.

524 days left to gossip, bitch, sleep, eat with my fabulous bunkmates and platoonmates.

Surprises

//Surprises//

I must admit my life has been pretty dull these days.

Which is exactly why little surprises never fail to brighten up my day.

And I was really very pleasantly surprised yesterday when I went out with ever, pauline and weixin to sing at some KTV at serangoon gardens. I really didn't even suspect anything when I see weixin coming out of ever's dad's car, or when I see them with plastic bags of stuff...I really thought it was supposed to be some farewell kind of thing for pauline who's going australia...

Ended up it was for me...kind of as a belated birthday surprise kind of thing...they actually prepared this series of mini-tasks for me to complete and gave me 8 "gifts" + a cake...

Ketchap
Apple Pie
Yogurt

Soy Sauce
Iceberg mineral water
Orange juice
Nai (or milk!)
Grape (F&N Grape)

*inserts pic (ever/weixin, if you are reading...send me the photo!!)

Of course they are not so nice to just give me this 8 items. They mixed the ketchap with yogurt and pour it on the apple pie for me to eat, and they actually mixed the 5 things and created this really SIONG (pun intended) drink, and it's oh my disgusting.

The tasks they made me are really funny and stupid, like mass dance (?! who remembers them!!), grab some random girl/guy to sing a duet with (which i manage to siam!), and my fav of all....sing 死了都要爱in the original key! To ever: just cause I made it seem so easy doesn't mean it's easy ok! muahahaha!

Anyway...I was really pleasantly surprised...really thanks to all involved..like I know sylvia came up with some pretty twisted ideas though she wasn't there...thanks!

Speaking of sylvia, I saw her at Taka today! What a surprise! I thought she quit her job there already. And her co-worker/boss actually thought I was her younger brother!! LOL! I guess I must look really young...

On a different note, I donated blood last thur during the blood donation drive in mandai hill camp! Or at least I attempted to.

I was given the painkiller jab, then I was poked with the actual needle with the tube, and it was actually painful (despite everyone else telling me they felt nothing). Blood flowed out slowly. The nurse came, poked the needle further in and start shifting it left and right, which means more pain. 5 mins later, blood is still flowing slowly, I started to get bruises and a swollen lump near the needle.

Then the blood donation was terminated.

THANKS ARH! After poking the needle all over my arm, they terminate it! Then the nurse start pressing the swollen part really hard and violently..attempting to reduce the swelling (is it even the way to reduce swelling?!)

Whatever, this is my first and last time I am going to donate blood.

Anyway, I have been thinking about certain stuff lately...things like my choice of course in university. I guess I am just very easily swayed. I thought I have already convinced myself that the Biz Ad & New Media double degree prog is what I want the most, but apparently...there's still this shadow of doubt in me. But like ever and mingwei said...慢慢想..I have the luxury of time...

Well, in the process of sorting out my thoughts on my options of university courses, the issue of potential careers obviously popped up, and it's just natural that $$ will pop up too...which led me to think further. Like what do I wanna achieve, what do I want ultimately in terms of lodging? Will I be satisfied with HDB? Condo? Where? What car do I want?

I know all these seems really far away...but I can't help but think about it, especially when I am just 1 year away from the big 2 in my age. We all have to start planning about our life sooner or later don't we? I know "life is not a checklist of acquisitions or acheivements"...but we have to admit that when it comes to financial stuff...careful planning is essential and absolutely necessary.

And I was actually quite surprised when I was talking to my dad about it, that he actually had all these plans when he was still quite young, what he wants and how he's going to achieve it. Of course, 人算不如天算...things don't always happened as you planned, but then again when you fail to plan, you plan to fail. (that's so cliche I know...but it's true!)

Ok enough of my rambling.

On an ending note, I'm really proud of my 2 flags on my collar. At least I'm not blindly chionging.

1 month

//1 month//

Just lost an entry due to IE crashing down on me. Great!

Gist of it...life in Mandai Hill is not as bad as I thought, though there are a hell lot of unpleasant stuff too.

I am 19! Birthday was simple, outing with H4, watched Sex and The City. Rather apt, not cause of the sex or romance, but cause of the friendship between the 4 leads. Just like what I told chee yong, I think my friendship with the 3 of them have more or less passed the test. Just like any romantic relationships, I believe there are various phases to a friendship too, and for the 4 of us. it's more or less in the late stable phases I guess. LTF - Long term friendship. hmm..

Very sian diao by the lost entry. Oh well, will blog again when the mood is there. Have been wanting to blog but there's just not enough time. Oh well.

Happy Fathers' Day by the way.