//Me//
Was reading Kai Herng's blog...tumbled across this quiz...which I find quite interesting...in the sense that the questions are asked in a very "imagery" kind of way...like "you are walking and saw something on the floor..what do you see?"....so I decided to give it a try...you can try it too here: http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx
Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
Note: Down to earth I agree...but I am definitely NOT a straightforward person...lol...ok...the listen to both sides of an argument is pretty accurate...
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Note: Hmm...woa...I am attractive in many people's eyes huh? Haha...good-looking people aren't necessarily my style...but if she can be smart, serious, determined AND pretty...all the better!
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
Note: Hmm...I don't think so....
The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
Note: Lol...so funny...maybe I do have sensible tactics...but I never use only...
Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
Note: WTF is this question doing here? Who cares about my views on education....ok I may find education important...I may want to study hard...but I definitely don't like to study! Nor am I good at it...
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
Note: Finally something that makes some sense....
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
Note: Woa...2 accurate statements in one go...this quiz has pontential man!
What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.
Note: So very true...or at least I feel....but who don't want to be accepted by others?
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
Note: Lol...another funny one...I give good advice? Maybe I do...hey...I wanna be an advice columnist or counsellor or social worker or psychologist one day lor!
I am actually doing my Chemistry tutorial right now...can't believe it! When I have the mood...I shall come blog about the "Interact Camp"....for now...back to mugger wonderland!
Saturday, March 18, 2006
My Perfect Lover
//My Perfect Lover//
Instructions: The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover. Specify the gender of the target. Tag 8 victims to join this game and leave a comment on their page saying they've been tagged. If tagged the 2nd time, there's no need to post again.
Tagged by Terence...lucky me...actually I don't really have any specific qualities that I'm looking for in my partner....so I wonder how I'm going to crap 8 qualities out...
Gender: Female
Qualities
1. Must be talkative
I'm a very stone person by nature, so if she stone I stone than we will die of boredom. So she must talk!! Talk a lot!! While I just sit and get entertained listening to her talk....lol...typical lazy me...
2. Must have a busy life
Meaning she must have a life of a own larz, the busier the better...I mean my dating experience is like zero? But then I just don't envy people who have to constantly dig time out of their ever so busy schedule to go out with bf/gf. I always feel that finding time to go out with your gf/bf is very troublesome..my view may change once I start dating or something...but for now the busier she is...the less we have to meet up...the more time I have to slack...the better it is...
3. Must love to sing and be tolerant towards my singing
If not she will be bored to death when we go KBox....and she have to endure my terrible singing not to forget....so she must have a high tolerance level for my singing....
4. Must be a good listener
Yea, I mentioned she must talk a lot....but she cannot be those self-centered bitch too, she must have the patience to listen to me whine cause I love to whine. And when I whine and bitch and complain about my life...I hate it when that person is totally uninterested or give too much comments....she must know how to achieve a delicate balance of showing concern, yet not showing too much...
5. Must be practical
Ok, treating her movies or dinner, sometimes is fine...but I expect her to be practical too..I mean I'm still a student..I don't have a steady income...so she mustn't expect it every single time...which brings me to my point why start dating now? Hmm...and I want her to be practical as well, in the sense that don't waste money buying useless stuff for me for my Bdae or Vdae...and I hope she don't expect flowers or whatever....so useless...at least chocalate still can eat right....
6. Must look decent
Definition of decent here simply means ok/average/so-so....don't need to be ultra pretty...as long as kan de shun yan can liaoz...
7. Must watch Lost/Depserate Housewives/etc...
ok...I am seriously running out of things to say liaoz....ok...she must watch at least one of these shows I watch...then got something more to talk about....
8. Must have very limited SMS per month
If she got very limited number of SMS...then it means I don't have to keep sms-ing her...I prefer msn-ing...
I sound like the boyfriend from hell don't it? Lol...
Ok...can I don't victimise anyone anymore? Ok...cannot...must target someone...if not then not fair...here are my targets:
1) Edmund
2) Everlyn
3) Jason
4) Mann Ying
5) Wilson
6) Kai Herng
7) Yan Han
8) Jia Ling
Saturday, March 11, 2006
A Series Of Unfortunate Events
//A Series Of Unfortunate Events//
Actually, it isn't really that unfortunate.
But you can't deny that bad things tend to happen in a row. It's really the case, once something bad happens, more will follow suit. But I must admit I tend to take note and focus a lot more on these bad stuff when they happen together, if they are isolated cases, I probably wouldn't care so much.
So let me go back 4 days ago....
8/3/ Wed: 2 pm
Ivan's appeal back to Hwa Chong worked! But he's now in S75? Weird huh? But as much I like to stay and see what I can do to help, I have to go to the High school to see Vincent tan for rehearsal for SSEF.
Met him, but sadly no computer! There's something wrong with the poster, thus it has to be edited but there's no computer with Publisher....finally found a teacher with Publisher in his laptop...wasted about 1 hour there? All the editing and dilly dallying around...
Nevermind...so let's rehearse! But guess what...there's no com...so how we rehearse? It's ok...we very zai...can remember the powerpoint and poster by heart...so we can rehearse even without it...but isn't it like a bit waste of time...go there present without the poster and powerpoint, what kind of rehearsal is that?
Then comes the best part...while I thought I can go print the poster on Thur....Mr Tan think it should be done on Wed! I mean it's reasonable, what if something goes wrong on Thursday...but still I dun wanna go print! I got Bio test on Thur you know! But no choice...have to go...
8/3/ Wed: 4 pm
So very sadly..I set off to Peace Centre at Dhoby Gauht. Took 171...which by the way the air con's spoilt...nevermind about that...by right should reach in half hours time...but of course things wouldn't go so smoothly...of all times...I choose to oversleep this time...by the time I wake up...I am in Cityhall liao. But being blur blur, I thought haven't pass by Dhoby Gauht, so I went to ask the driver...and he was like "Heh, Dhoby Gauht pass by long ago liaoz.." in a ultra super bitchy tone, I should slapped him on the spot...but I just woke up and I didn't really expect that kind of attitude from him...so nevermind...I alighted...took a train back to Dhoby Gauht.
Things seem fine right, reach Dhoby Gauht liaoz...but I have to mess things up by coming out of the wrong exit. I mean 171 stops at the exact place which I can walk to Peace Centre directly, MRT's much troublesome...and I have to make it even more so by coming out of the wrong exit...
So I started to walk towards Peace Centre...and the distance was much further than I remembered, it was about Chinese High swimming pool to Coro...esp with the construction work going on in the area...I have to walk the longer way...
8/3/ Wed: 5 pm
A half hour journey ended up being 1 hour, but I reached the place nevertheless. Found the shop, but what seems like an half hour printing job lasted 3 hours. All sorts of problems came up, like the computer not being able to detect the thumbdrive, then the poster was too big, then the graph lines were too light, then the printer isn't working, then the computer refuses to print...all sorts of problems happened....and when we finally got it working and printing...it's 8pm! I mean can you believe it, I'm stuck at Peace Centre for friggin' 3 hour...alone! And by no means am I a Publisher pro...I am even amazed by myself how I solve those problems there...
8/3/ Wed: 8 pm
Decided to screw it and take a cab home, I definitely don't want to walk back to the MRT...ironically, the song that I heard on the taxi is this...
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down
and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
- Daniel Powter
how fitting for my day...reached home...decided that I was not in the mood to study Bio...watched American Idol instead...finally started studying at 10pm....studied till about 12+ before I fell asleep while studying on my bed...luckily for me, I anticipated that and had set my alarm to 5am....but still I did not manage to finish studying...completely ignored the "proteins" section....
9/3/ Thur: 8 pm
For some weird reason, 71 was singled out as being noisy though the hundreds of other students were making as much noise... nevermind about that...but after the Bio test....I was quite sad...cause I could have sleep much earlier...there is absolutely no point in studying for this test...I would have done as bad even if i don't study....just regretted waking up at 5 to study...such a waste of time....
9/3/ Thur: 2 pm
Supposed to go to Science Centre to set up the booth for SSEF....went to the high school library to transfer some files...and take the laptop...kh and mw are supposed to meet me at the library before going to the carpark for the bus...and I was abandoned by them...again. Nevermind, I missed the bus...ended up taking a cab there....
9/3/ Thur: 5 pm
Poster setup was full of hiccups too...rush here rush there to buy stuff...when it's finally time to go....it started raining...how nice...shared an umbrella with kh..but it's basically useless...and my whole pants is entirely DRENCHED....kh and I were talking about there would be rainbow after a storm...and we hope we can do well in ssef....
Jurong and Hougang is pretty far away...decided not to take the train...cause firstly at that kind of time, there would be absolutely no seat...secondly...if I take bus...I can find some seats right at the back...and I can roll up my pants...cause the wet pants is friggin' irritating...
So I took 51....and guess what...it took be a total of 2 hours to reach home!!! It's friggin' 92 stops! I passed by like West Coast, Pasir Panjang, Haw Par Villa, Queenstown, Clementi, Commonwealth, Clark Quay, Bugis, passed by so so so many MRT station...Queenstown, Clementi, Clark Quay, Bugis, Lavander, Eunos, Paya Lebar, Aljunied....the bus went from fully packed to literally empty to fully packed again so many times during my ride....
10/3/ Fri:
SSEF judging!!! The judges were pretty nice except the last one who seem very uninterested....Finally I have a day that goes well....but life can't be perfect can it? At night...I got this ultra bad cough...
11/3 Sat:
Woke up with body aches all over the place...the kind of body aches that you experience when you are about to get a flu or fever....reached the Science Centre...it got worst...so I sat on the chair beside the booth and...sleep...lol..ok I know I probably shouldn't...but I didn't sleep much though...the official there woke me up....so I went to a quiet corner...and continue sleeping...and I ended up waking up with a headache....which I am still having now....and no I refuse to eat Panadol...I've relied on Panadol way too much....
Results came in at about 3pm +....got SILVER!!! Totally unexpected....I mean you never know how they will judge your project...and I knew that last year...a lot of groups only got "Participation"...kind of expected this kind of result too....so our aim is to get merit...anything above that is bonus....and man we got a big bonus! Seems like there's indeed rainbow after the storm...
But the rainbow was shortlived though...this time round...I decided to take the train and not 51...no one in the right mind would take a bus that will pass by 92 stops to reach your house....took a train down to outram park, and from there took to Habourfront cause I want a seat....and I got it...I slept....and slept...and slept...and when I woke up...I was already at Seng Kang! Which means I have already passed by Kovan....sad isn't it...so I alighted wanting to cross the Platform to take a return train....but after I alighted....I realised the train at the opposite platform goes to Punggol....and the train that I was on actually goes to Kovan!! If you still don't get what's happening...it means that I have slept from one end (Habourfront) to the other end (Punggol), missing Kovan station....and the train is going back to Habourfront, which means if I had not alighted the train I would have reach Kovan too...
Headache's killing me right now...I totally cannot get excited over the SSEF results which this kinda headache...
someone please kill me now...
Actually, it isn't really that unfortunate.
But you can't deny that bad things tend to happen in a row. It's really the case, once something bad happens, more will follow suit. But I must admit I tend to take note and focus a lot more on these bad stuff when they happen together, if they are isolated cases, I probably wouldn't care so much.
So let me go back 4 days ago....
8/3/ Wed: 2 pm
Ivan's appeal back to Hwa Chong worked! But he's now in S75? Weird huh? But as much I like to stay and see what I can do to help, I have to go to the High school to see Vincent tan for rehearsal for SSEF.
Met him, but sadly no computer! There's something wrong with the poster, thus it has to be edited but there's no computer with Publisher....finally found a teacher with Publisher in his laptop...wasted about 1 hour there? All the editing and dilly dallying around...
Nevermind...so let's rehearse! But guess what...there's no com...so how we rehearse? It's ok...we very zai...can remember the powerpoint and poster by heart...so we can rehearse even without it...but isn't it like a bit waste of time...go there present without the poster and powerpoint, what kind of rehearsal is that?
Then comes the best part...while I thought I can go print the poster on Thur....Mr Tan think it should be done on Wed! I mean it's reasonable, what if something goes wrong on Thursday...but still I dun wanna go print! I got Bio test on Thur you know! But no choice...have to go...
8/3/ Wed: 4 pm
So very sadly..I set off to Peace Centre at Dhoby Gauht. Took 171...which by the way the air con's spoilt...nevermind about that...by right should reach in half hours time...but of course things wouldn't go so smoothly...of all times...I choose to oversleep this time...by the time I wake up...I am in Cityhall liao. But being blur blur, I thought haven't pass by Dhoby Gauht, so I went to ask the driver...and he was like "Heh, Dhoby Gauht pass by long ago liaoz.." in a ultra super bitchy tone, I should slapped him on the spot...but I just woke up and I didn't really expect that kind of attitude from him...so nevermind...I alighted...took a train back to Dhoby Gauht.
Things seem fine right, reach Dhoby Gauht liaoz...but I have to mess things up by coming out of the wrong exit. I mean 171 stops at the exact place which I can walk to Peace Centre directly, MRT's much troublesome...and I have to make it even more so by coming out of the wrong exit...
So I started to walk towards Peace Centre...and the distance was much further than I remembered, it was about Chinese High swimming pool to Coro...esp with the construction work going on in the area...I have to walk the longer way...
8/3/ Wed: 5 pm
A half hour journey ended up being 1 hour, but I reached the place nevertheless. Found the shop, but what seems like an half hour printing job lasted 3 hours. All sorts of problems came up, like the computer not being able to detect the thumbdrive, then the poster was too big, then the graph lines were too light, then the printer isn't working, then the computer refuses to print...all sorts of problems happened....and when we finally got it working and printing...it's 8pm! I mean can you believe it, I'm stuck at Peace Centre for friggin' 3 hour...alone! And by no means am I a Publisher pro...I am even amazed by myself how I solve those problems there...
8/3/ Wed: 8 pm
Decided to screw it and take a cab home, I definitely don't want to walk back to the MRT...ironically, the song that I heard on the taxi is this...
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down
and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
- Daniel Powter
how fitting for my day...reached home...decided that I was not in the mood to study Bio...watched American Idol instead...finally started studying at 10pm....studied till about 12+ before I fell asleep while studying on my bed...luckily for me, I anticipated that and had set my alarm to 5am....but still I did not manage to finish studying...completely ignored the "proteins" section....
9/3/ Thur: 8 pm
For some weird reason, 71 was singled out as being noisy though the hundreds of other students were making as much noise... nevermind about that...but after the Bio test....I was quite sad...cause I could have sleep much earlier...there is absolutely no point in studying for this test...I would have done as bad even if i don't study....just regretted waking up at 5 to study...such a waste of time....
9/3/ Thur: 2 pm
Supposed to go to Science Centre to set up the booth for SSEF....went to the high school library to transfer some files...and take the laptop...kh and mw are supposed to meet me at the library before going to the carpark for the bus...and I was abandoned by them...again. Nevermind, I missed the bus...ended up taking a cab there....
9/3/ Thur: 5 pm
Poster setup was full of hiccups too...rush here rush there to buy stuff...when it's finally time to go....it started raining...how nice...shared an umbrella with kh..but it's basically useless...and my whole pants is entirely DRENCHED....kh and I were talking about there would be rainbow after a storm...and we hope we can do well in ssef....
Jurong and Hougang is pretty far away...decided not to take the train...cause firstly at that kind of time, there would be absolutely no seat...secondly...if I take bus...I can find some seats right at the back...and I can roll up my pants...cause the wet pants is friggin' irritating...
So I took 51....and guess what...it took be a total of 2 hours to reach home!!! It's friggin' 92 stops! I passed by like West Coast, Pasir Panjang, Haw Par Villa, Queenstown, Clementi, Commonwealth, Clark Quay, Bugis, passed by so so so many MRT station...Queenstown, Clementi, Clark Quay, Bugis, Lavander, Eunos, Paya Lebar, Aljunied....the bus went from fully packed to literally empty to fully packed again so many times during my ride....
10/3/ Fri:
SSEF judging!!! The judges were pretty nice except the last one who seem very uninterested....Finally I have a day that goes well....but life can't be perfect can it? At night...I got this ultra bad cough...
11/3 Sat:
Woke up with body aches all over the place...the kind of body aches that you experience when you are about to get a flu or fever....reached the Science Centre...it got worst...so I sat on the chair beside the booth and...sleep...lol..ok I know I probably shouldn't...but I didn't sleep much though...the official there woke me up....so I went to a quiet corner...and continue sleeping...and I ended up waking up with a headache....which I am still having now....and no I refuse to eat Panadol...I've relied on Panadol way too much....
Results came in at about 3pm +....got SILVER!!! Totally unexpected....I mean you never know how they will judge your project...and I knew that last year...a lot of groups only got "Participation"...kind of expected this kind of result too....so our aim is to get merit...anything above that is bonus....and man we got a big bonus! Seems like there's indeed rainbow after the storm...
But the rainbow was shortlived though...this time round...I decided to take the train and not 51...no one in the right mind would take a bus that will pass by 92 stops to reach your house....took a train down to outram park, and from there took to Habourfront cause I want a seat....and I got it...I slept....and slept...and slept...and when I woke up...I was already at Seng Kang! Which means I have already passed by Kovan....sad isn't it...so I alighted wanting to cross the Platform to take a return train....but after I alighted....I realised the train at the opposite platform goes to Punggol....and the train that I was on actually goes to Kovan!! If you still don't get what's happening...it means that I have slept from one end (Habourfront) to the other end (Punggol), missing Kovan station....and the train is going back to Habourfront, which means if I had not alighted the train I would have reach Kovan too...
Headache's killing me right now...I totally cannot get excited over the SSEF results which this kinda headache...
someone please kill me now...
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Emotion Part II
//Emotion Part II//
took long for me to be inspired to write this post again...initally i wanted to talk abt me being emotional yet devoid of emotions sometimes...i mean that was what i wanted to blogged about the other time but in the end got too caught up with the "x" factor...
but now i am just a bundle of emotions again....i mean maybe that's why i decided to blog now....i mean i have been quite free the last few days...i could have easily blogged about it...but somehow i am just not inspired to type about it...
but now...i am just feeling very depressed....(i dun wanna use the word "sad" cause it sounds too much like qingyi)
ok larz...this post is gonna be totally random...so juz try to make some sense out of the whole thing yourself...
I mean I am a weird person larz....I cry at all the wrong times....I feel emotionless when I'm supposed to be very emotional...
Let's see....I mean I can shed tears while watching "Survivor"...when this contestants got a visit from her son...and she was crying like mad...and I started crying too...but then during my grandma's funeral..I did not shed a single tear throughout the whole thing....I mean I think I was more worried about my EOY exams at that time....
She passed away the day before my EOY started last year...and I was like studying about heart structure and so on during the funeral...and I'm never the kind to start preparing for exams early....so I was pretty scrooed at that time...cause I was expected to be down at the funeral place there every day and night....but I just go down like 15 mins each night?
It's just screwed up larz.....and everyone was crying like mad...and I was like...staring at them while they cry....for a moment I even think I don't feel ANYTHING at all...it was a pretty scary feeling actually...not feeling anything about someone's death....i'm not very close with my grandma...but it's still a bit heartless not to feel anything you know...ok...i do feel a sense of lost...but my life got on track very very soon after the funeral....i still remember studying for chem after her funeral....
that period of time....it was like i have time to mourn over the loss....the first 3 papers are physics bio then chem...and the funeral was held over those few days...it just feels weird larz....that i cry over movies...over shows...but not over the loss of my grandma....
also...i remembered at the end of sec 2....my mum found out she got cancer....she just told me the news on the way to sch....(during the hols)....it was my first com team training in St John you know....and she broke the news....and undoubtly I was very shocked and just...shocked...sad...depressed...but that feeling is just indescribable....it's like well it's just cancer..not like cannot be treated...but at the same time...was thinking what if hers was really bad?
but similarly no tears at all. weird rite? i think it's easier to cry about things that isn't real, like movie and so on....but when the problem is so real and in your face....i am sort of lost....not knowing how to react....
i think everyone's life is just sad.....everyone appear happy in school....everyone smiles....but deep down somewhere....everyone is just sad for some of the things in their lives....i've seen/heard/read qte a lot of such cases lately...that led me to this conclusion: Everyone in this world is sad by nature...we are only happy at certain moments...but our lives are mainly made up of sad stuff....
my life's well...it seems good doesn't it....good grades in pri sch....pretty ok grades in sec sch....life's seem pretty ok...but then there are sad stuff too....it may seem good on the surface....but some things can be pretty sad....(omg...i m like keep using the word sad...damn u qingyi...)
i dun wanna talk abt all my problems here....sigh...i think i supressed all the bad stuff all a little too well....i dun really get into states of depression as bad as some of my frenz do....maybe i do? maybe that's why i stone everyday? i run away from my problems...i dun wanna think about it...i procrastinate...so my problems always seem so distant...but that doesn't mean they don't exist...but i just don't keep thinking about it...that's why i haven committed suicide yet i guess? lol...ok...not funny...but seriously i dun think i will ever think of committing suicide...people who have suicidal thoughts just scare me....
what am i doing with my life!?! i don't know....my teenage years are wasting away....2 years is fast...before I know it...i may even be working already....but what work can I do? My passion don't meet my talent...but come to think of it...i don't excel in anything in particular?
Adulthood scares me a lot a lot....jobs work career apart...what about my love life? I have a sick feeling I'm gonna be still single at the age of 50 (if i live tt long)...
Can anybody find me somebody to love
Ooh, each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you're doing to me
- Queen
And no...I'm not desperate for love now....in fact I don't want a relationship right now....it's too much of a burden for me i guess...i dun wanna put myself through the whole horrors of a relationship just yet...looking down the long and winding road of my life....it just scares me to think what will I do if i really do end up like that 50 years down the road....
then sadly tmr is the posting results...sadly 71 will never be the same again....life's full of sad things isn't it...so crying is actually good...but how come i m not crying now? am i not sad enough?
x seems like nothing out of sudden....
life's so randmon....just like this entry...
took long for me to be inspired to write this post again...initally i wanted to talk abt me being emotional yet devoid of emotions sometimes...i mean that was what i wanted to blogged about the other time but in the end got too caught up with the "x" factor...
but now i am just a bundle of emotions again....i mean maybe that's why i decided to blog now....i mean i have been quite free the last few days...i could have easily blogged about it...but somehow i am just not inspired to type about it...
but now...i am just feeling very depressed....(i dun wanna use the word "sad" cause it sounds too much like qingyi)
ok larz...this post is gonna be totally random...so juz try to make some sense out of the whole thing yourself...
I mean I am a weird person larz....I cry at all the wrong times....I feel emotionless when I'm supposed to be very emotional...
Let's see....I mean I can shed tears while watching "Survivor"...when this contestants got a visit from her son...and she was crying like mad...and I started crying too...but then during my grandma's funeral..I did not shed a single tear throughout the whole thing....I mean I think I was more worried about my EOY exams at that time....
She passed away the day before my EOY started last year...and I was like studying about heart structure and so on during the funeral...and I'm never the kind to start preparing for exams early....so I was pretty scrooed at that time...cause I was expected to be down at the funeral place there every day and night....but I just go down like 15 mins each night?
It's just screwed up larz.....and everyone was crying like mad...and I was like...staring at them while they cry....for a moment I even think I don't feel ANYTHING at all...it was a pretty scary feeling actually...not feeling anything about someone's death....i'm not very close with my grandma...but it's still a bit heartless not to feel anything you know...ok...i do feel a sense of lost...but my life got on track very very soon after the funeral....i still remember studying for chem after her funeral....
that period of time....it was like i have time to mourn over the loss....the first 3 papers are physics bio then chem...and the funeral was held over those few days...it just feels weird larz....that i cry over movies...over shows...but not over the loss of my grandma....
also...i remembered at the end of sec 2....my mum found out she got cancer....she just told me the news on the way to sch....(during the hols)....it was my first com team training in St John you know....and she broke the news....and undoubtly I was very shocked and just...shocked...sad...depressed...but that feeling is just indescribable....it's like well it's just cancer..not like cannot be treated...but at the same time...was thinking what if hers was really bad?
but similarly no tears at all. weird rite? i think it's easier to cry about things that isn't real, like movie and so on....but when the problem is so real and in your face....i am sort of lost....not knowing how to react....
i think everyone's life is just sad.....everyone appear happy in school....everyone smiles....but deep down somewhere....everyone is just sad for some of the things in their lives....i've seen/heard/read qte a lot of such cases lately...that led me to this conclusion: Everyone in this world is sad by nature...we are only happy at certain moments...but our lives are mainly made up of sad stuff....
my life's well...it seems good doesn't it....good grades in pri sch....pretty ok grades in sec sch....life's seem pretty ok...but then there are sad stuff too....it may seem good on the surface....but some things can be pretty sad....(omg...i m like keep using the word sad...damn u qingyi...)
i dun wanna talk abt all my problems here....sigh...i think i supressed all the bad stuff all a little too well....i dun really get into states of depression as bad as some of my frenz do....maybe i do? maybe that's why i stone everyday? i run away from my problems...i dun wanna think about it...i procrastinate...so my problems always seem so distant...but that doesn't mean they don't exist...but i just don't keep thinking about it...that's why i haven committed suicide yet i guess? lol...ok...not funny...but seriously i dun think i will ever think of committing suicide...people who have suicidal thoughts just scare me....
what am i doing with my life!?! i don't know....my teenage years are wasting away....2 years is fast...before I know it...i may even be working already....but what work can I do? My passion don't meet my talent...but come to think of it...i don't excel in anything in particular?
Adulthood scares me a lot a lot....jobs work career apart...what about my love life? I have a sick feeling I'm gonna be still single at the age of 50 (if i live tt long)...
Can anybody find me somebody to love
Ooh, each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you're doing to me
- Queen
And no...I'm not desperate for love now....in fact I don't want a relationship right now....it's too much of a burden for me i guess...i dun wanna put myself through the whole horrors of a relationship just yet...looking down the long and winding road of my life....it just scares me to think what will I do if i really do end up like that 50 years down the road....
then sadly tmr is the posting results...sadly 71 will never be the same again....life's full of sad things isn't it...so crying is actually good...but how come i m not crying now? am i not sad enough?
x seems like nothing out of sudden....
life's so randmon....just like this entry...
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Emotion Part I
//Emotion Part I//
I've been feeling a bundle of emotions lately...feel like a hypocrite...feel devoid of emotions...yet feel so emotional sometimes...weird huh...a lot of memories keep flooding back this few days for no apparent reason...
Let me start with the hypocrite part first..X has been pretty nice to me...but I just don't understand why he can behave the way he do sometimes towards certain people...it bugs me...X bugs me...that bugs me...I just can't understand...
but then I don't really have a basis to treat X the same way others do...cause like I said he has been quite nice to me apart from 1 or 2 occasions which he did something that pissed me off a lot...
I mean I don't hate X to the point that I can't stand talking to him at all...it takes really a lot a lot for me to be that pissed with someone...so far only one person has achieved that...but that was in the past...so let's not talk about it....but with that being said...it doesn't mean I enjoy talking to X...there are people you can click with...you enjoy talking to....but there are also people that you feel highly uncomfortable talking to...and all the talks remain very superficial...X remains in the latter...
But then sadly...for some reason...I just keep seeing X everywhere I go...and he continues to be very nice to me....haix...what do you do to someone to you don't really like but is very nice to you? I just can't bring myself to tell X or blatantly ostracise him...neither do I have the basis to...but I feel damn guilty whenever X helped with something...cause I've been talking about him behind his back...
it's like...i've been trying to be as nice as I can to X...and it just backfires on me....now I'm acting like a hypocrite....appearing nice towards him....but when he's not around....it's a total different story....
If you don't know what the hell I was talking about...then just ignore it...if you are X...and you are reading my blog...then it's about time you reflect on why people treat you the way they do....if you think you are X but are not so sure...my advice is stop being paranoid...cause I think it's quite obvious who X is...I might as well put down the name...But nvm...sometimes some abiguity is good...
Actually I have lots more to write...but writing about X just sort of spoils my mood....shall immerse myself in all the tutorials to drown out my not-so-good mood....shall write more next time...
I've been feeling a bundle of emotions lately...feel like a hypocrite...feel devoid of emotions...yet feel so emotional sometimes...weird huh...a lot of memories keep flooding back this few days for no apparent reason...
Let me start with the hypocrite part first..X has been pretty nice to me...but I just don't understand why he can behave the way he do sometimes towards certain people...it bugs me...X bugs me...that bugs me...I just can't understand...
but then I don't really have a basis to treat X the same way others do...cause like I said he has been quite nice to me apart from 1 or 2 occasions which he did something that pissed me off a lot...
I mean I don't hate X to the point that I can't stand talking to him at all...it takes really a lot a lot for me to be that pissed with someone...so far only one person has achieved that...but that was in the past...so let's not talk about it....but with that being said...it doesn't mean I enjoy talking to X...there are people you can click with...you enjoy talking to....but there are also people that you feel highly uncomfortable talking to...and all the talks remain very superficial...X remains in the latter...
But then sadly...for some reason...I just keep seeing X everywhere I go...and he continues to be very nice to me....haix...what do you do to someone to you don't really like but is very nice to you? I just can't bring myself to tell X or blatantly ostracise him...neither do I have the basis to...but I feel damn guilty whenever X helped with something...cause I've been talking about him behind his back...
it's like...i've been trying to be as nice as I can to X...and it just backfires on me....now I'm acting like a hypocrite....appearing nice towards him....but when he's not around....it's a total different story....
If you don't know what the hell I was talking about...then just ignore it...if you are X...and you are reading my blog...then it's about time you reflect on why people treat you the way they do....if you think you are X but are not so sure...my advice is stop being paranoid...cause I think it's quite obvious who X is...I might as well put down the name...But nvm...sometimes some abiguity is good...
Actually I have lots more to write...but writing about X just sort of spoils my mood....shall immerse myself in all the tutorials to drown out my not-so-good mood....shall write more next time...
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Alone
//Alone//
There was no one at the terraces...I was alone there...they were running on the track...but I was there lying down looking at the sky above...alone...
It was really a perfect moment.
It is a wonder how some people hate the times of being alone so so much...cause they tend to 胡思乱想...but I just love it.
I always find perfection overated...I don't believe that perfection exists...but that moment was really perfect...
*snaps back to reality
I feel like I'm a changed person with regards to my attitude towards work.
I always find my friends who finish their homework way in advance of the deadline very muggerish...why work so hard I thought?
I always do what's most urgent that needed to be handed in tomorrow..I spend my breaks doing homework that needed to be handed in on the day itself cause I can never seem to complete my homework...
But somehow...this couple of days...I started to look at this whole "homework" thing in a different light...
Why should they be considered muggerish when all they do is to complete their work on time? Maybe it's not that they are muggerish...maybe it's that I'm too lazy...I mean look at it this way...completing your assignments ON TIME is expected...I shouldn't be copying/doing work on the day of submission anyway....
So from yesterday onwards...I have decided to stop procrastinating and start working on all my tutorials...even if the deadline is like next week...
I shall see how long this can last...my brain is telling me to keep up with this hardworking attitude..but my guts is telling me I won't last...I will revert back to my old self very soon....
There was no one at the terraces...I was alone there...they were running on the track...but I was there lying down looking at the sky above...alone...
It was really a perfect moment.
It is a wonder how some people hate the times of being alone so so much...cause they tend to 胡思乱想...but I just love it.
I always find perfection overated...I don't believe that perfection exists...but that moment was really perfect...
*snaps back to reality
I feel like I'm a changed person with regards to my attitude towards work.
I always find my friends who finish their homework way in advance of the deadline very muggerish...why work so hard I thought?
I always do what's most urgent that needed to be handed in tomorrow..I spend my breaks doing homework that needed to be handed in on the day itself cause I can never seem to complete my homework...
But somehow...this couple of days...I started to look at this whole "homework" thing in a different light...
Why should they be considered muggerish when all they do is to complete their work on time? Maybe it's not that they are muggerish...maybe it's that I'm too lazy...I mean look at it this way...completing your assignments ON TIME is expected...I shouldn't be copying/doing work on the day of submission anyway....
So from yesterday onwards...I have decided to stop procrastinating and start working on all my tutorials...even if the deadline is like next week...
I shall see how long this can last...my brain is telling me to keep up with this hardworking attitude..but my guts is telling me I won't last...I will revert back to my old self very soon....
Thursday, February 16, 2006
What A Difference A Day Makes
//What A Difference A Day Makes//
What a difference a day makes
Twenty-four little hours
Brought the sun and the flowers
Where there used to be rain
- Jamie Cullum
Indeed..yesterday at this time I was whinning and complaining about how bad my day was....24 hours later...life seemed to be so much better!
Maybe I'm a easily contented person...I can get very happy just cause I finish a piece of homework by myself at home! Lol...the sense of satisfaction is just so amazing....my work are mostly done in school...on the day we are supposed to submit...during lectures...which effectively mean I don't pay attention during lectures...not a good sign....
So whenever I manage to finish any homework AT home...i just feel so proud of myself!
But back to the point...I just felt so happy that I finished my chemistry ILP....3 cheers for me please! WoooohoooO! Ok...but not so worth celebrating larz...cause it's like 12am...and I still haven't done my bio lipids tutorial and maths tutorial which most people finished eons ago...
Mitchell chan has officially become my idol...when people are busy "referencing" each other work at the class bench....he is just standing around...why..not cause he is too lazy to do....cause he did his homwork!i mean u look at him...like slack slack like that...but never judge a book by its cover...he always finish all the homework by himself at home! Isn't that like very very amazing?
Lol..so as you can see...I get happy very easily...finally got to see the doc today...and I don't even have to wait......lol...HAPPEEEEE...haha...
and 1 episode of Desperate Housewives & Lost is waiting for me...should I do the bio lipids tutorial now and watch the shows later....or should I just screw it and watch it now?
Let's hope tomorrow will be a even better day!
What a difference a day makes
Twenty-four little hours
Brought the sun and the flowers
Where there used to be rain
- Jamie Cullum
Indeed..yesterday at this time I was whinning and complaining about how bad my day was....24 hours later...life seemed to be so much better!
Maybe I'm a easily contented person...I can get very happy just cause I finish a piece of homework by myself at home! Lol...the sense of satisfaction is just so amazing....my work are mostly done in school...on the day we are supposed to submit...during lectures...which effectively mean I don't pay attention during lectures...not a good sign....
So whenever I manage to finish any homework AT home...i just feel so proud of myself!
But back to the point...I just felt so happy that I finished my chemistry ILP....3 cheers for me please! WoooohoooO! Ok...but not so worth celebrating larz...cause it's like 12am...and I still haven't done my bio lipids tutorial and maths tutorial which most people finished eons ago...
Mitchell chan has officially become my idol...when people are busy "referencing" each other work at the class bench....he is just standing around...why..not cause he is too lazy to do....cause he did his homwork!i mean u look at him...like slack slack like that...but never judge a book by its cover...he always finish all the homework by himself at home! Isn't that like very very amazing?
Lol..so as you can see...I get happy very easily...finally got to see the doc today...and I don't even have to wait......lol...HAPPEEEEE...haha...
and 1 episode of Desperate Housewives & Lost is waiting for me...should I do the bio lipids tutorial now and watch the shows later....or should I just screw it and watch it now?
Let's hope tomorrow will be a even better day!
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Bus Rides
//Bus Rides//
"lately been thinking abt how solitude can sometimes be a pleasurable indulgence. isnt it rare nowadays to find time which solely belongs to you and you alone? was just musing over this lahh, due to a couple of significant occasions i really craved to be by myself. undoubtedly there are some who view it as anti-social behaviour but no i dont see it as an act of self-isolation or anything of that sort. something made me discover the value of solitude, when thoughts and feelings can be processed and channeled appropriately, events and outcomes are mentally re-played and decisions are made."
- Yan Han
That's why I love to take bus alone.
Am I a loner? To a certain extent...yes...I love being alone sometimes...like when I'm on a bus or something...
In school, I'm surrounded by friends, at home, I'm surrounded by my family...it's hard to find some quality "me" time...
So I really enjoy the times when I take buses alone...my bus ride is about 45 mins to 1 hour...to some people...spending that amount of time all by themselves is a torture...but I find it more of a pleasure...
Firstly, without anyone around...i can sleep stone for all i want...and it's really a good time for me to think about stuff that happened that day...but lately...i've been quite exhausted each time i go home...so it's mostly stoning for me on the bus...i realised stoning has the same effect as sleeping for me...I mean when I'm stoning...my mind is basically blank...and it allows my mind to rest! Though I will still feel tired after stoning larz...but it does allow my mind to rest....
And I realised taking the train and taking the bus is just different. If I choose to take the train home...the effect just isn't the same...cause you see...the bus ride to the train station is 15 mins, train ride home is 15 mins...so basically there's no long periods for me to really settle down to reflect...
Wheras when I take bus...I'll basically take the first 5 to 10 mins to stone to clear my mind...then events that happened today will start flashing through my head..it allows more "processing" to take place...
Feeling pissed today...don't ask me why...I also don't know why...it's like suddenly I also don't know what I'm doing with my life...and no...today is not one of those days where I go "hey! I must start planning my life..."it's more like "hey...my life sucks, what am i doing?!" (when actually there's nothing that really pissed me off...) then cause of this...a lot of things that my frenz did piss me off when it normally wouldn't....like mitchell chan...shan't elaborate more...
then an unlucky streak began...being killed in MI...taking a 74 tt took so friggin long...missing the doc thus not able to change my dressing for the feet...taking a wrong bus which went to the interchange...chasing after a bus that took so long to reach my house, when another bus which is much faster is just behind...whining to my mum about my bad luck and ended up being scolded by her (like wtf?)...
Lady luck is too busy today I guessed....did she ignore me cause I was pissed and sort of pulling a long face today? Or was I pissed andpulling a long face cause I had a feeling that it would be an unlucky day ahead?
Tomorrow shall be better!
"lately been thinking abt how solitude can sometimes be a pleasurable indulgence. isnt it rare nowadays to find time which solely belongs to you and you alone? was just musing over this lahh, due to a couple of significant occasions i really craved to be by myself. undoubtedly there are some who view it as anti-social behaviour but no i dont see it as an act of self-isolation or anything of that sort. something made me discover the value of solitude, when thoughts and feelings can be processed and channeled appropriately, events and outcomes are mentally re-played and decisions are made."
- Yan Han
That's why I love to take bus alone.
Am I a loner? To a certain extent...yes...I love being alone sometimes...like when I'm on a bus or something...
In school, I'm surrounded by friends, at home, I'm surrounded by my family...it's hard to find some quality "me" time...
So I really enjoy the times when I take buses alone...my bus ride is about 45 mins to 1 hour...to some people...spending that amount of time all by themselves is a torture...but I find it more of a pleasure...
Firstly, without anyone around...i can sleep stone for all i want...and it's really a good time for me to think about stuff that happened that day...but lately...i've been quite exhausted each time i go home...so it's mostly stoning for me on the bus...i realised stoning has the same effect as sleeping for me...I mean when I'm stoning...my mind is basically blank...and it allows my mind to rest! Though I will still feel tired after stoning larz...but it does allow my mind to rest....
And I realised taking the train and taking the bus is just different. If I choose to take the train home...the effect just isn't the same...cause you see...the bus ride to the train station is 15 mins, train ride home is 15 mins...so basically there's no long periods for me to really settle down to reflect...
Wheras when I take bus...I'll basically take the first 5 to 10 mins to stone to clear my mind...then events that happened today will start flashing through my head..it allows more "processing" to take place...
Feeling pissed today...don't ask me why...I also don't know why...it's like suddenly I also don't know what I'm doing with my life...and no...today is not one of those days where I go "hey! I must start planning my life..."it's more like "hey...my life sucks, what am i doing?!" (when actually there's nothing that really pissed me off...) then cause of this...a lot of things that my frenz did piss me off when it normally wouldn't....like mitchell chan...shan't elaborate more...
then an unlucky streak began...being killed in MI...taking a 74 tt took so friggin long...missing the doc thus not able to change my dressing for the feet...taking a wrong bus which went to the interchange...chasing after a bus that took so long to reach my house, when another bus which is much faster is just behind...whining to my mum about my bad luck and ended up being scolded by her (like wtf?)...
Lady luck is too busy today I guessed....did she ignore me cause I was pissed and sort of pulling a long face today? Or was I pissed andpulling a long face cause I had a feeling that it would be an unlucky day ahead?
Tomorrow shall be better!
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Secrets
//Secrets//
Everyone has their fair share of secrets...
Some people may seem happy and bubbly everyday...but deep down he's always feeling depressed cause of some reasons only he knows best...you can never say "I know everything about him/her" because no matter how close you are to that person, there are always some infomation that you choose to hold back...
It may be something as trivial as what colour you like(for eg some guys like pink but don't dare to admit) ...or it can be something more major like who do you like..etc...
But no matter how small that secret is, you're still holding back certain infomation about yourself that you don't want others to know.
People always say "Be yourself!" but I really think that this statement is overrated...I don't believe for a second if someone told me he is 100% truthful about all the things he say...How can you "be youself" when you choose to hide something from others. We are all human beings, we are self-conscious, no matter how "heck care" you are, you still care about how others think about you, how others look at you. So people choose to filter information when talking to others, especially regarding things you find embarassing and you don't want others to know...
Are we being liars or hypocrites, or pretending to be someone we are not? No, not really, I mean it's perfectly normal to want to present the best side of you to the others...Imagine you did something you shouldn't do, something that you're ashamed of...like taking drugs...this kind of things that you did...that you're not really proud of, of course you won't tell anyone even if he or she asked right?
My point is we all have something we want to hide, something that only ourselves and no one else knows...some people choose to share their secrets with a few good friends...others choose to keep it to themselves.
For me, I belong to the latter.
"Trust is a fragile thing. Once earned, it affords us tremendous freedom, but once trust is lost, it can be impossible to recover. Of course the truth is, we never know who we can trust. Those we're closest to can betray us. And total strangers can come to our rescue. In the end, most people decide to trust only themselves. It really is the simplest way to keep from getting burned."
- Desperate Housewives
Maybe this is the reason why. I don't know who to trust. I'm pretty paranoid by nature...it's hard for me to trust anyone...but sometimes it's very tough to have all these pent up frustrations...so you HAVE to find someone that you're comfortable with to talk to...I mean I'm the type of person that will not tell you to the face what I feel, I keep most of the feelings to myself (like who I dislike)....so normally it gets pretty pent-up...so no choice...need to let it out one way or another...you may be surprised to know the people I confide with...lol..
Today's VDay...someone's secret was revealed accidentally....enjoyed the "walks" I took...feels so "Survivor"...lol...talking strategy....deciding who to vote out....haha....hmm..the class dynamics is getting more and more complicated from what I know...things are getting more and more interesting...love's in the air....
On a side note..loved both the pencil case and wallet that my angel and mortal bought for me! Both are the kinds that I want...yay! (do a miss wang impersonation)...
kay siong is a happy man today...
not so sure if they are happy with the gift I gave them...but nvm...what's done is done...
Everyone has their fair share of secrets...
Some people may seem happy and bubbly everyday...but deep down he's always feeling depressed cause of some reasons only he knows best...you can never say "I know everything about him/her" because no matter how close you are to that person, there are always some infomation that you choose to hold back...
It may be something as trivial as what colour you like(for eg some guys like pink but don't dare to admit) ...or it can be something more major like who do you like..etc...
But no matter how small that secret is, you're still holding back certain infomation about yourself that you don't want others to know.
People always say "Be yourself!" but I really think that this statement is overrated...I don't believe for a second if someone told me he is 100% truthful about all the things he say...How can you "be youself" when you choose to hide something from others. We are all human beings, we are self-conscious, no matter how "heck care" you are, you still care about how others think about you, how others look at you. So people choose to filter information when talking to others, especially regarding things you find embarassing and you don't want others to know...
Are we being liars or hypocrites, or pretending to be someone we are not? No, not really, I mean it's perfectly normal to want to present the best side of you to the others...Imagine you did something you shouldn't do, something that you're ashamed of...like taking drugs...this kind of things that you did...that you're not really proud of, of course you won't tell anyone even if he or she asked right?
My point is we all have something we want to hide, something that only ourselves and no one else knows...some people choose to share their secrets with a few good friends...others choose to keep it to themselves.
For me, I belong to the latter.
"Trust is a fragile thing. Once earned, it affords us tremendous freedom, but once trust is lost, it can be impossible to recover. Of course the truth is, we never know who we can trust. Those we're closest to can betray us. And total strangers can come to our rescue. In the end, most people decide to trust only themselves. It really is the simplest way to keep from getting burned."
- Desperate Housewives
Maybe this is the reason why. I don't know who to trust. I'm pretty paranoid by nature...it's hard for me to trust anyone...but sometimes it's very tough to have all these pent up frustrations...so you HAVE to find someone that you're comfortable with to talk to...I mean I'm the type of person that will not tell you to the face what I feel, I keep most of the feelings to myself (like who I dislike)....so normally it gets pretty pent-up...so no choice...need to let it out one way or another...you may be surprised to know the people I confide with...lol..
Today's VDay...someone's secret was revealed accidentally....enjoyed the "walks" I took...feels so "Survivor"...lol...talking strategy....deciding who to vote out....haha....hmm..the class dynamics is getting more and more complicated from what I know...things are getting more and more interesting...love's in the air....
On a side note..loved both the pencil case and wallet that my angel and mortal bought for me! Both are the kinds that I want...yay! (do a miss wang impersonation)...
kay siong is a happy man today...
not so sure if they are happy with the gift I gave them...but nvm...what's done is done...
Sunday, February 12, 2006
The Wait
//The Wait//
2.00pm
Walking to the high school auditorium from SIM...feeling very nervous...not really entirely for my results, cause I thought I should be able to get the least a "B" for HCL (though my gut is telling me anything can happen and I might even get a E) I was more nervous for my classmates taking more subjects...being the pessimist...I keep wondering...what would happen if ALL of them can't stay, I never envisioned the scenario of all of them staying (though I keep telling them to be optimistic)...saw lots of smses from my classmates about how nervous they were...and it makes me nervous...cause the fate of our class more or less lies in their hands...
2.15pm
Seated in the auditorium...got back my results, it was an "A2"..was very satisfied with it, considering how badly I screwed up my paper 2...I looked at my phone...no missed calls...no sms..."maybe they have not received their results yet" I thought...and the wait goes on...
2.30pm
Fooling around the in the 4A classroom, listening to the all Fac dance songs...most were excited that they do not need to take chinese anymore...everyone was in high spirits...but I can't seem to get too excited...still no calls or smses..."what if i call them and they didn't do well...what should i say?"..so I decided not to call anyone yet...the painful wait continues...
2.45pm
Finally received a sms from a classmate: "I went on stage!"...my fear of everyone in the class doing badly is gone...she got really good results...things are starting to look up a little...then another sms from another classmate came: "*tear*"...(which later turn out to be tears of joy)...but still...that's only 2 out of 12...10 more to go...the wait is still on...
3.00pm
We decided to screw it and started to call ppl...instead of waiting...called most of them...some did really really well...some did not perform up to expectation...after hearing all the news...somehow the not-so-good news overshadow the great news...most of their results will enable to stay if they want....but a few of their results are sort of in the danger zone...and this just sets me into a bad mood for the day...but the wait is not over...there are still a couple of classmate whom I don't know their results...
4.00pm
Finally got the results of all classmate (except one whom I cannot contact)...the wait for their results is finally over...despite most doing well...I just felt quite depressed....the prospect that couple of classmates leaving is really depressing for me, i seriously don't want them to leave...i would feel very bored without them around (not that they are here to entertain me larz)...and with most of my squadmates looking gloomy too...it's kinda hard for me to look happy...
5.00pm
Felt very depressed at the training...with so many people around me looking as sad....I wonder if there is anyone at the class bench now...i feel that i wanted to be there now...so went back to the college side with a few squadmates...the class bench was empty except a few seniors who were leaving....seeing the empty class bench makes me even sadder for some reason...
5.30pm
Finally saw a classmate...then another came...and another came....one was in IP...one did extremely well...one did not meet her expectations....she was smiling..but the disappointment in her eyes was obvious....I didn't know what to talk about...I said all the positive things I could think of...suggested all the things she could do etc...but still I couldn't get over the fact that she was so consistent and results were generally quite good...but still face difficulties...unlike some who scored a B or C in some subjects but still can get in..the system is just so screwed up....
6.00pm
My phone keep ringing...but I don't want to go back to training yet...by this point...I just felt that the whole IP system is so scrooed up..it scrooed so many people...some sec 4 students in hwa chong last year did not meet the requirement for promotions...they were forced to repeat a year...those who did make it came...I'm not sure how others felt, but it just feel so cheapskate...I was just lucky to do well in PSLE and got to hwa chong...and so here I'm in HCJC now?
I did not go through all the hassles of preparing for O'lvl like others....and I may not even make it here if I do take O'lvls...in fact out of the whole cohort...I'm sure a significant amount may not be able to make it if not for IP....but here we are now...hogging the place in HC that some others would die for...and so IP indirectly scrooed these people too...if not for the IP students, the vacancies wouldn't be so limited...and competition wouldn't be so steep...and their chances of getting in would be higher....
And no, I'm not whinning about how the IP system sucks cause I did benefit a lot from it...but you can't deny that a lot of people got screwed because of the IP system...yea...a lot of people were screwed in the past by the O'lvl system too...consistent grades but flunking at O lvls...but at least for O lvls, it's fair playing field for all....
But whatever...what's happened has happened...let's just look on the bright side...hope that those who want to stay do ge to stay in the end...and those who want to change subjet combi/jc...all the best to you!
2.00pm
Walking to the high school auditorium from SIM...feeling very nervous...not really entirely for my results, cause I thought I should be able to get the least a "B" for HCL (though my gut is telling me anything can happen and I might even get a E) I was more nervous for my classmates taking more subjects...being the pessimist...I keep wondering...what would happen if ALL of them can't stay, I never envisioned the scenario of all of them staying (though I keep telling them to be optimistic)...saw lots of smses from my classmates about how nervous they were...and it makes me nervous...cause the fate of our class more or less lies in their hands...
2.15pm
Seated in the auditorium...got back my results, it was an "A2"..was very satisfied with it, considering how badly I screwed up my paper 2...I looked at my phone...no missed calls...no sms..."maybe they have not received their results yet" I thought...and the wait goes on...
2.30pm
Fooling around the in the 4A classroom, listening to the all Fac dance songs...most were excited that they do not need to take chinese anymore...everyone was in high spirits...but I can't seem to get too excited...still no calls or smses..."what if i call them and they didn't do well...what should i say?"..so I decided not to call anyone yet...the painful wait continues...
2.45pm
Finally received a sms from a classmate: "I went on stage!"...my fear of everyone in the class doing badly is gone...she got really good results...things are starting to look up a little...then another sms from another classmate came: "*tear*"...(which later turn out to be tears of joy)...but still...that's only 2 out of 12...10 more to go...the wait is still on...
3.00pm
We decided to screw it and started to call ppl...instead of waiting...called most of them...some did really really well...some did not perform up to expectation...after hearing all the news...somehow the not-so-good news overshadow the great news...most of their results will enable to stay if they want....but a few of their results are sort of in the danger zone...and this just sets me into a bad mood for the day...but the wait is not over...there are still a couple of classmate whom I don't know their results...
4.00pm
Finally got the results of all classmate (except one whom I cannot contact)...the wait for their results is finally over...despite most doing well...I just felt quite depressed....the prospect that couple of classmates leaving is really depressing for me, i seriously don't want them to leave...i would feel very bored without them around (not that they are here to entertain me larz)...and with most of my squadmates looking gloomy too...it's kinda hard for me to look happy...
5.00pm
Felt very depressed at the training...with so many people around me looking as sad....I wonder if there is anyone at the class bench now...i feel that i wanted to be there now...so went back to the college side with a few squadmates...the class bench was empty except a few seniors who were leaving....seeing the empty class bench makes me even sadder for some reason...
5.30pm
Finally saw a classmate...then another came...and another came....one was in IP...one did extremely well...one did not meet her expectations....she was smiling..but the disappointment in her eyes was obvious....I didn't know what to talk about...I said all the positive things I could think of...suggested all the things she could do etc...but still I couldn't get over the fact that she was so consistent and results were generally quite good...but still face difficulties...unlike some who scored a B or C in some subjects but still can get in..the system is just so screwed up....
6.00pm
My phone keep ringing...but I don't want to go back to training yet...by this point...I just felt that the whole IP system is so scrooed up..it scrooed so many people...some sec 4 students in hwa chong last year did not meet the requirement for promotions...they were forced to repeat a year...those who did make it came...I'm not sure how others felt, but it just feel so cheapskate...I was just lucky to do well in PSLE and got to hwa chong...and so here I'm in HCJC now?
I did not go through all the hassles of preparing for O'lvl like others....and I may not even make it here if I do take O'lvls...in fact out of the whole cohort...I'm sure a significant amount may not be able to make it if not for IP....but here we are now...hogging the place in HC that some others would die for...and so IP indirectly scrooed these people too...if not for the IP students, the vacancies wouldn't be so limited...and competition wouldn't be so steep...and their chances of getting in would be higher....
And no, I'm not whinning about how the IP system sucks cause I did benefit a lot from it...but you can't deny that a lot of people got screwed because of the IP system...yea...a lot of people were screwed in the past by the O'lvl system too...consistent grades but flunking at O lvls...but at least for O lvls, it's fair playing field for all....
But whatever...what's happened has happened...let's just look on the bright side...hope that those who want to stay do ge to stay in the end...and those who want to change subjet combi/jc...all the best to you!
Thursday, February 09, 2006
背影
//背影//
(Photo taken in Thailand: I'm the second from the left)
Disclaimer: The short essay below wasn't written by me. It was written by my sis when she was in sec 2 (she's waiting for her A lvl results now.)
我曾经看过一部连续剧，剧中的男主角喜欢把别人的背影拍下。他说过这么一句话：“背影是人最真的一面。”我听了这句话，感触很深。我们生存的这个世界，实际上比幻影还要假。在你我周围，勾心斗角的人，远远多过坦诚相对的人。
每一个人都希望让别人看到自己最好的一面，注意的也只是前面的路，前面的人。很多时候，人就是这样忘了自己身后可能有人在观察自己，因此，背影才是他们最真实的一面。这个时候，背对其他人的，便是他们毫无拘束，也毫无掩饰的一面，我曾被几个好友欺骗，所以开始对周围的人失去信心及信任。若自己身边最亲近的人也欺骗自己，那这世上还有几个人是真挚，纯洁的呢？每个人似乎都被污染了，留下来的只有最纯净的背影。
但是，从另一个角度来看背影的话，就不那么悲观了。当我们只看到人或事的其中一面时，难免会感到好奇，可能会很想看整个人或物体的全面，又或者会开始猜想他的模样。这么说，背影也可以是神秘的。
我在等人时，喜欢观察别人。有一次，我看到一个非常高大的男生的背部，心想他一定很俊俏，怎么知道当我看到他的样貌时，却发现他不是我想像的那样，不禁嘲笑自己“以背取人”。
总的来说，背影是有趣，更是真切的。
(Photo taken in Thailand: I'm the second from the left)
Disclaimer: The short essay below wasn't written by me. It was written by my sis when she was in sec 2 (she's waiting for her A lvl results now.)
我曾经看过一部连续剧，剧中的男主角喜欢把别人的背影拍下。他说过这么一句话：“背影是人最真的一面。”我听了这句话，感触很深。我们生存的这个世界，实际上比幻影还要假。在你我周围，勾心斗角的人，远远多过坦诚相对的人。
每一个人都希望让别人看到自己最好的一面，注意的也只是前面的路，前面的人。很多时候，人就是这样忘了自己身后可能有人在观察自己，因此，背影才是他们最真实的一面。这个时候，背对其他人的，便是他们毫无拘束，也毫无掩饰的一面，我曾被几个好友欺骗，所以开始对周围的人失去信心及信任。若自己身边最亲近的人也欺骗自己，那这世上还有几个人是真挚，纯洁的呢？每个人似乎都被污染了，留下来的只有最纯净的背影。
但是，从另一个角度来看背影的话，就不那么悲观了。当我们只看到人或事的其中一面时，难免会感到好奇，可能会很想看整个人或物体的全面，又或者会开始猜想他的模样。这么说，背影也可以是神秘的。
我在等人时，喜欢观察别人。有一次，我看到一个非常高大的男生的背部，心想他一定很俊俏，怎么知道当我看到他的样貌时，却发现他不是我想像的那样，不禁嘲笑自己“以背取人”。
总的来说，背影是有趣，更是真切的。
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Bonds
//Bonds//
A force is weak, it can easily be broken; a bond on the other hand is very strong, and it requires a lot of energy to break it
- Miss Mok
I have heard classmates who were not from Hwa Chong having gatherings with their secondary school mates....
I've heard Nanhua gathering...St Nics gathering...Anderson gathering...etc...
This just reminds me of the time when I first came to Chinese High...only 3 from my primary school came Chinese High...and I remember at that time, I was always very excited about going back to my primary school to visit the teachers...to see my old friends...I even remember during the first week of school I went back to my primary school at least twice...
And now...I'm in JC...my secondary school is just next door...even a friend commented "you guys so lucky..just walk a few steps can see your teachers liaoz"...but the weird thing is I never really thought about going back to visit my secondary school teachers...even during CNY eve, I went back only because I need a signature from a teacher for some application form...
I've got all my secondary school mates (literally ALL) in the same JC I'm in, and unlike my friends from other secondary schools, who had gatherings and so on...the thought of getting together with my squadmates from St John or with my 4A classmates for dinner or some real outing never cross my mind at all too....
And no, I have not forgetten them...I still remember all my secondary school teachers from sec 1 to 4...and I still thank them for all that they have done...and I still miss the life in SJAB, ok I hate the training...but then it's just so memorable...and I will never forget those times spent with the squad...
But it's just the fact that I see the teacher like almost every other day...I just saw Jloh in the JC side canteen the other day...or when I go back to High School for St John training..I see so many teachers and so on...it just feel so damn friggin' convenient that I don't see a particular need in coming back to visit the teachers or something like that...
And it's the same case for squadmates...I see most of them everyday in school...and I just don't really miss them as much as I thought I would...yes I miss those days when we were still training as a squad...but it's kinda hard to miss someone when you see him everyday...
And I won't deny the fact that I'm enjoying my life in JC so far...I'm enjoying my class...my new classmates....I even enjoyed the times we stayed back to crap just cause we don't want to go home...and this has certainly slightly taken my mind off my squadmates and teachers no doubt...
But I feel that it is really kind of impossible to be as close as we were last time...the bond is formed...it's hard to break...just like what we learnt in chemistry(god I miss Miss Mok)...but the circumstance we are in now are different, the situations we are put in are different...and the best thing to do is just to sit back and remininsce...I mean I do meet up with my pri sch classmates once in a while...although it was fun and stuff...the feeling is just different than it was in the past...though it's extremely pleasurable to just sit down and think about the old times or talk about it...
I mean 10, 20 years down the road, are you still gonna be keeping in contact with all your pri sch, sec sch, cca, jc frenz and so on? It's impossible..there are always people you are closer to and people who you were not so close to, you win some you lose some, you can't have it all...
But like I mentioned, bonds formed are not easily broken...and I don't think constant gatherings or outings are necessary to prove that...as long as you still care for those people, and they still have a place in your heart, I think it's more than enough...tho gathering is a good way to express the care and concern (and have fun of course!)...
But with that said...I still look forward to the squad outing/dinner or whatever it's gonna be! I'm also hoping that the pri sch gathering that we said we wanted to have after O lvl results is released is still on...it's still good to see old friends and do some catching up...
Am I contradicting myself? I think I just did? Nevermind...
A force is weak, it can easily be broken; a bond on the other hand is very strong, and it requires a lot of energy to break it
- Miss Mok
I have heard classmates who were not from Hwa Chong having gatherings with their secondary school mates....
I've heard Nanhua gathering...St Nics gathering...Anderson gathering...etc...
This just reminds me of the time when I first came to Chinese High...only 3 from my primary school came Chinese High...and I remember at that time, I was always very excited about going back to my primary school to visit the teachers...to see my old friends...I even remember during the first week of school I went back to my primary school at least twice...
And now...I'm in JC...my secondary school is just next door...even a friend commented "you guys so lucky..just walk a few steps can see your teachers liaoz"...but the weird thing is I never really thought about going back to visit my secondary school teachers...even during CNY eve, I went back only because I need a signature from a teacher for some application form...
I've got all my secondary school mates (literally ALL) in the same JC I'm in, and unlike my friends from other secondary schools, who had gatherings and so on...the thought of getting together with my squadmates from St John or with my 4A classmates for dinner or some real outing never cross my mind at all too....
And no, I have not forgetten them...I still remember all my secondary school teachers from sec 1 to 4...and I still thank them for all that they have done...and I still miss the life in SJAB, ok I hate the training...but then it's just so memorable...and I will never forget those times spent with the squad...
But it's just the fact that I see the teacher like almost every other day...I just saw Jloh in the JC side canteen the other day...or when I go back to High School for St John training..I see so many teachers and so on...it just feel so damn friggin' convenient that I don't see a particular need in coming back to visit the teachers or something like that...
And it's the same case for squadmates...I see most of them everyday in school...and I just don't really miss them as much as I thought I would...yes I miss those days when we were still training as a squad...but it's kinda hard to miss someone when you see him everyday...
And I won't deny the fact that I'm enjoying my life in JC so far...I'm enjoying my class...my new classmates....I even enjoyed the times we stayed back to crap just cause we don't want to go home...and this has certainly slightly taken my mind off my squadmates and teachers no doubt...
But I feel that it is really kind of impossible to be as close as we were last time...the bond is formed...it's hard to break...just like what we learnt in chemistry(god I miss Miss Mok)...but the circumstance we are in now are different, the situations we are put in are different...and the best thing to do is just to sit back and remininsce...I mean I do meet up with my pri sch classmates once in a while...although it was fun and stuff...the feeling is just different than it was in the past...though it's extremely pleasurable to just sit down and think about the old times or talk about it...
I mean 10, 20 years down the road, are you still gonna be keeping in contact with all your pri sch, sec sch, cca, jc frenz and so on? It's impossible..there are always people you are closer to and people who you were not so close to, you win some you lose some, you can't have it all...
But like I mentioned, bonds formed are not easily broken...and I don't think constant gatherings or outings are necessary to prove that...as long as you still care for those people, and they still have a place in your heart, I think it's more than enough...tho gathering is a good way to express the care and concern (and have fun of course!)...
But with that said...I still look forward to the squad outing/dinner or whatever it's gonna be! I'm also hoping that the pri sch gathering that we said we wanted to have after O lvl results is released is still on...it's still good to see old friends and do some catching up...
Am I contradicting myself? I think I just did? Nevermind...
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Argh!!!
//Argh!!!//
It sucks not being able to sing...
I love to sing, not that I can sing very well...but yea I love to sing...it's like sometimes you love a certain subject but you always fail the tests & exams..think along that line...
So back to the point, my damn nose has been bugging me for the past 2 weeks. Since the beginning of the first day of lesson (right after orientation), the runny nose thing has been going on....and to add on to the misery..the cough thing doesn't stop...
And I always feel that it's a waste of time to go see doctor because of this...I mean you have to spend time waiting...then you go in...tell the doc..."oh i have a cough and a runny nose"...then doc writes something on the prescription paper...then out you go...
It's not like I have a fever that doesn't go or something like that..it's just a damn nose problem...and thankfully, it's getting slightly better...last week it was like blocked for 24 hours a a day...now it's onli about 12 hours a day...
But despite me not being in the best health condition...New year goodies here I come! Heck with the nose...I decided that Chinese New Year is the time to enjoy..I shall just continue eating all the heaty food...and make sure my health condition worsens...then I shall go see a doc...though that means no more singing for even longer...
Actually it's not like I totally cannot sing with this runny nose..I can...but last week...I will feel like I'm dying of asthma attack after every song...and my voice totally shuts down when it comes to the even remotely higher notes...and I don't even mean those really high notes..which I can't reach even when I'm with 100% of my voice...but it's ok...cause I always just sing along to the song...so if I can't reach...the singer will be able to :)...I will just pretend that I can reach those not-so-low notes and feel damn good abt it..
It's CNY Eve...though I believe a lot of people are sian-ing and stoning like me...I've got my CNY countdown programme ready! I shall be mugging mugging & mugging! Lol...but seriously..I will TRY to do some of the tutorials due next week...I seriously don't want to bring these work back to Malaysia when I go back to visit my relatives from my mum's side....but if I fail in doing so...fret not!
Actually I think I'm quite zai in copying work lerz...I mean I'm always able to find time to copy work during lectures/tutorials/breaks...and the thing is I can copy work & listen to the lecture @ the same time...it takes a lot of planning, cause you need to decide what lectures to copy what subject's tutorial..so that it's the most efficient (listen to lecture @ the same time) & you are able to finish copying before the actual lesson itself...
Despite not finishing 70% of my work most of the time in my secondary 3 & 4 life...I manage to survive unscathed every single time (except once..)
I know this isn't something I should be really proud of...but I mean..there's seriously nothing much I can boast about regarding myself...so I shall just milk it for its worth...
Back to my CNY eve plan...I've just downloaded Lost season 2 episode 11 & 12...& Charmed season 8 episode 13....so afterwards..I shall just watch Charmed as an appetiser before my reunion dinner....after that at around 11pm...I shall start my mini-lost marathon and watch the 2 episodes back to back...that's basically how I'm gonna spend the moment at 12 am when CNY comes...watching Lost...of course I think I will come online at arnd 12 to wish everyone Happy new year...before going back to Lost...
After that..if I still don't feel sleepy...I will proceed on to watch Stargate Atlantis..I've still got about 10 more episodes to go...
I'm seriously NEVER gonna watch Mediacorps CNY eve prog...it sucks...and I don't have cable and so on...so there will not be any nice countdown shows to watch...I'll have to resort to my downloaded shows then...
What an exciting way to spend my CNY eve.. -_-
It sucks not being able to sing...
I love to sing, not that I can sing very well...but yea I love to sing...it's like sometimes you love a certain subject but you always fail the tests & exams..think along that line...
So back to the point, my damn nose has been bugging me for the past 2 weeks. Since the beginning of the first day of lesson (right after orientation), the runny nose thing has been going on....and to add on to the misery..the cough thing doesn't stop...
And I always feel that it's a waste of time to go see doctor because of this...I mean you have to spend time waiting...then you go in...tell the doc..."oh i have a cough and a runny nose"...then doc writes something on the prescription paper...then out you go...
It's not like I have a fever that doesn't go or something like that..it's just a damn nose problem...and thankfully, it's getting slightly better...last week it was like blocked for 24 hours a a day...now it's onli about 12 hours a day...
But despite me not being in the best health condition...New year goodies here I come! Heck with the nose...I decided that Chinese New Year is the time to enjoy..I shall just continue eating all the heaty food...and make sure my health condition worsens...then I shall go see a doc...though that means no more singing for even longer...
Actually it's not like I totally cannot sing with this runny nose..I can...but last week...I will feel like I'm dying of asthma attack after every song...and my voice totally shuts down when it comes to the even remotely higher notes...and I don't even mean those really high notes..which I can't reach even when I'm with 100% of my voice...but it's ok...cause I always just sing along to the song...so if I can't reach...the singer will be able to :)...I will just pretend that I can reach those not-so-low notes and feel damn good abt it..
It's CNY Eve...though I believe a lot of people are sian-ing and stoning like me...I've got my CNY countdown programme ready! I shall be mugging mugging & mugging! Lol...but seriously..I will TRY to do some of the tutorials due next week...I seriously don't want to bring these work back to Malaysia when I go back to visit my relatives from my mum's side....but if I fail in doing so...fret not!
Actually I think I'm quite zai in copying work lerz...I mean I'm always able to find time to copy work during lectures/tutorials/breaks...and the thing is I can copy work & listen to the lecture @ the same time...it takes a lot of planning, cause you need to decide what lectures to copy what subject's tutorial..so that it's the most efficient (listen to lecture @ the same time) & you are able to finish copying before the actual lesson itself...
Despite not finishing 70% of my work most of the time in my secondary 3 & 4 life...I manage to survive unscathed every single time (except once..)
I know this isn't something I should be really proud of...but I mean..there's seriously nothing much I can boast about regarding myself...so I shall just milk it for its worth...
Back to my CNY eve plan...I've just downloaded Lost season 2 episode 11 & 12...& Charmed season 8 episode 13....so afterwards..I shall just watch Charmed as an appetiser before my reunion dinner....after that at around 11pm...I shall start my mini-lost marathon and watch the 2 episodes back to back...that's basically how I'm gonna spend the moment at 12 am when CNY comes...watching Lost...of course I think I will come online at arnd 12 to wish everyone Happy new year...before going back to Lost...
After that..if I still don't feel sleepy...I will proceed on to watch Stargate Atlantis..I've still got about 10 more episodes to go...
I'm seriously NEVER gonna watch Mediacorps CNY eve prog...it sucks...and I don't have cable and so on...so there will not be any nice countdown shows to watch...I'll have to resort to my downloaded shows then...
What an exciting way to spend my CNY eve.. -_-
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Angels & Mortals
//Angels & Mortals//
Dan Brown didn't write a new book entitled "Angels & Mortals" in case you are wondeirng...I just want to comment on this Angels & Mortals thing going on in school nowadays...
Every morning...the first thing I do after putting my bag at the class bench is to check the letter board to see if there's any letters for me...
Every break...the first thing I do after returning to the class bench is to check the letter board again...even if I have already received letters in the morning...it's still kind of a habit to check the board....
I think I'm getting a bit obssessed liaoz...
But I do feel that I tell both my angel & my mortal more about my feelings towards the class, about what I do @ home and so on...then I did towards my own classmates....cause sometimes it's just weird to talk to people about this kind of stuff...and I always express myself better in words than in person...I can talk so much more online than in person...
Saw my mortal during STJ yesterday...I don't think she knows I'm her angel yet...but she can easily find out if she wants to...she still looks quite dao to me...but then I think it's just her looks larz...after reading some of the senior's blog...realised she's quite similar to me too...in the sense that she takes quite a long time to warm up to people...etc..
And from all these blog reading...I sort of have a rough idea who my angel may be...IF my guess is right...then my angel also look very dao lerz...how come I got a dao-looking angel and a dao-looking mortal huh? Do I look very dao too? I have heard from people thay I look very dao....but listless = dao meh?
Ok...I seriously think there's something wrong with me lately...I've gone by a week without blogging (despite so many things that happened)...and now that I've started this entry...I don't know how to continue from here...normally I will feel very inspired about something and I will just sit down and start typing...can't seem to do that nowadays....always get stuck after a few paragraphs...
Never mind....I shall talk about something else...STJ yesterday...ok this time...I shall not give a play by play account of what happened yesterday...
The funny thing is for STJ and JTS...it's supposed to be a session for seniors and juniors to have opportunity to interact..but I felt that I learnt more about my classmates than about my serniors...apart from names that is...
Talked to Denny more than I normally do yesterday...talked with Everlyn a lot too on the train back...talked about our impressions of people in the class and so on...it's interesting to see how different people felt about the class...we gossiped about seniors too...I mean seriously...I realised I've become very gossipy lately...but gossips make the otherwise mundane and boring school life interesting...so I guess it's a good thing then...
I realised the class is quite mug lerz...on Friday...I already see that quite a few people have finished their maths, chem tutorial and so on...scary...and I know some people have already finished ALL the work? wth? I mean Bio and Econs isn't even due till Thur? Yea..I know it's not good to procrastinate...but to finish it so fast?
To all those who have finished all the work that are due next week...WELL DONE! You've succeeded in freaking me out and making me worry if I'm already starting to get too slack...
Dan Brown didn't write a new book entitled "Angels & Mortals" in case you are wondeirng...I just want to comment on this Angels & Mortals thing going on in school nowadays...
Every morning...the first thing I do after putting my bag at the class bench is to check the letter board to see if there's any letters for me...
Every break...the first thing I do after returning to the class bench is to check the letter board again...even if I have already received letters in the morning...it's still kind of a habit to check the board....
I think I'm getting a bit obssessed liaoz...
But I do feel that I tell both my angel & my mortal more about my feelings towards the class, about what I do @ home and so on...then I did towards my own classmates....cause sometimes it's just weird to talk to people about this kind of stuff...and I always express myself better in words than in person...I can talk so much more online than in person...
Saw my mortal during STJ yesterday...I don't think she knows I'm her angel yet...but she can easily find out if she wants to...she still looks quite dao to me...but then I think it's just her looks larz...after reading some of the senior's blog...realised she's quite similar to me too...in the sense that she takes quite a long time to warm up to people...etc..
And from all these blog reading...I sort of have a rough idea who my angel may be...IF my guess is right...then my angel also look very dao lerz...how come I got a dao-looking angel and a dao-looking mortal huh? Do I look very dao too? I have heard from people thay I look very dao....but listless = dao meh?
Ok...I seriously think there's something wrong with me lately...I've gone by a week without blogging (despite so many things that happened)...and now that I've started this entry...I don't know how to continue from here...normally I will feel very inspired about something and I will just sit down and start typing...can't seem to do that nowadays....always get stuck after a few paragraphs...
Never mind....I shall talk about something else...STJ yesterday...ok this time...I shall not give a play by play account of what happened yesterday...
The funny thing is for STJ and JTS...it's supposed to be a session for seniors and juniors to have opportunity to interact..but I felt that I learnt more about my classmates than about my serniors...apart from names that is...
Talked to Denny more than I normally do yesterday...talked with Everlyn a lot too on the train back...talked about our impressions of people in the class and so on...it's interesting to see how different people felt about the class...we gossiped about seniors too...I mean seriously...I realised I've become very gossipy lately...but gossips make the otherwise mundane and boring school life interesting...so I guess it's a good thing then...
I realised the class is quite mug lerz...on Friday...I already see that quite a few people have finished their maths, chem tutorial and so on...scary...and I know some people have already finished ALL the work? wth? I mean Bio and Econs isn't even due till Thur? Yea..I know it's not good to procrastinate...but to finish it so fast?
To all those who have finished all the work that are due next week...WELL DONE! You've succeeded in freaking me out and making me worry if I'm already starting to get too slack...
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Alive
//Alive//
Stuck in world
No longer turning
Always the one
Waiting for something
Too many days
Walking around sleeping
Open my eyes
I'm tired of dreaming
- Melissa O'Neil
16 years of my life has come and gone by...have I live this 16 years to the fullest? I'm not sure...
I'm sure everyone will have some regrets about decisions made...like "I shouldn't have come to this sec sch..." or "I shouldn't have join this CCA" or "I should have went for that audition" etc...
But the scary thing is looking back....I don't think I regretted any decisions I made...cause seriously I didn't really make that many big decisions in my life yet....
"Always the one, waiting for something"...yep that's me...I wait for things to happen....I just go with the flow...go with the majority...so most of the decisions have been pretty easy for me...I am always the passive one...and even when there's a opportunity, I hesitate...like when I was in sec 1...I wanted to join Air Rifle, but I didn't even go for the trials..cause I'm worried...worried that I will be too sucky...won' even make it...etc...
"You seem uninterested in so many things, and you look listless almost on every single day..." One of my friends once said this to me....which is somewhat true I won't deny...but it is not really that I'm uninterested in so many things...it's just I'm just too passive and dumb to go for things I'm interested in...as mentioned in the previous para...and this has happen so many times...in sec sch...there were so many prog and stuff...and I let a lot of them just passed by...without even attempting to go for it...so I'm pretty numb about it...which is probably why I don't regret for not going for them...
"Too many days, Walking around sleeping, Open my eyes, I'm tired of dreaming"...and yes...I'm sort of tired of this kind of life...now in JC...there are also a lot a lot of stuff going on....lots of programme...cca...and stuff...like dramafeste...huang cheng...etc...
I wanna run with the reckless emotion
Find out if love is the size of an ocean
Even if I crash down, burn out
At least I'm gonna know what it's like
To feel alive
- Melissa O'Neil
I decided to more active...and try to go for stuff I'm interested in...and not worry about if I can make it...or what others would think...so I went for bowling trials and music & dance auditions...obviously I didn't manage to get into MAD...but at least I tried...
Going in for the auditions, I know my chances are really slim..with so many people joining...and me not being the very dancey type...but I decided to just have some fun...and try my best...whether my best is enough or not is not really relevant...because if I try to evade like I used to...not daring to go for anything simply cause I don't think I will make it...then I can pretty much forget about going for anything....cause I am seriously not talented or good in any specific area...
Oh...and I signed up for Interact club!!! Lol...which I don't think I would do in the past...but doing some community work...well..this is really sincerely something I have been wanting to do in the past...not for the CIP...not for the portfolio...but something I really wanted to do....
I have been wanting to do some community work for a long long time...but I never did put in any effort or time to go look for some organisation...case of being too passive again....
Ok...I really don't think I should continue now...my whole mind is sort of incoherent now...can't think straight for some weird reason...I spent like eons trying to type out this short entry...which turn out to be very incoherent too...
Stuck in world
No longer turning
Always the one
Waiting for something
Too many days
Walking around sleeping
Open my eyes
I'm tired of dreaming
- Melissa O'Neil
16 years of my life has come and gone by...have I live this 16 years to the fullest? I'm not sure...
I'm sure everyone will have some regrets about decisions made...like "I shouldn't have come to this sec sch..." or "I shouldn't have join this CCA" or "I should have went for that audition" etc...
But the scary thing is looking back....I don't think I regretted any decisions I made...cause seriously I didn't really make that many big decisions in my life yet....
"Always the one, waiting for something"...yep that's me...I wait for things to happen....I just go with the flow...go with the majority...so most of the decisions have been pretty easy for me...I am always the passive one...and even when there's a opportunity, I hesitate...like when I was in sec 1...I wanted to join Air Rifle, but I didn't even go for the trials..cause I'm worried...worried that I will be too sucky...won' even make it...etc...
"You seem uninterested in so many things, and you look listless almost on every single day..." One of my friends once said this to me....which is somewhat true I won't deny...but it is not really that I'm uninterested in so many things...it's just I'm just too passive and dumb to go for things I'm interested in...as mentioned in the previous para...and this has happen so many times...in sec sch...there were so many prog and stuff...and I let a lot of them just passed by...without even attempting to go for it...so I'm pretty numb about it...which is probably why I don't regret for not going for them...
"Too many days, Walking around sleeping, Open my eyes, I'm tired of dreaming"...and yes...I'm sort of tired of this kind of life...now in JC...there are also a lot a lot of stuff going on....lots of programme...cca...and stuff...like dramafeste...huang cheng...etc...
I wanna run with the reckless emotion
Find out if love is the size of an ocean
Even if I crash down, burn out
At least I'm gonna know what it's like
To feel alive
- Melissa O'Neil
I decided to more active...and try to go for stuff I'm interested in...and not worry about if I can make it...or what others would think...so I went for bowling trials and music & dance auditions...obviously I didn't manage to get into MAD...but at least I tried...
Going in for the auditions, I know my chances are really slim..with so many people joining...and me not being the very dancey type...but I decided to just have some fun...and try my best...whether my best is enough or not is not really relevant...because if I try to evade like I used to...not daring to go for anything simply cause I don't think I will make it...then I can pretty much forget about going for anything....cause I am seriously not talented or good in any specific area...
Oh...and I signed up for Interact club!!! Lol...which I don't think I would do in the past...but doing some community work...well..this is really sincerely something I have been wanting to do in the past...not for the CIP...not for the portfolio...but something I really wanted to do....
I have been wanting to do some community work for a long long time...but I never did put in any effort or time to go look for some organisation...case of being too passive again....
Ok...I really don't think I should continue now...my whole mind is sort of incoherent now...can't think straight for some weird reason...I spent like eons trying to type out this short entry...which turn out to be very incoherent too...
Saturday, January 14, 2006
A Spoon?
//A Spoon?//
Phoebe: You know I'm not afraid of our powers. I mean, everyone inherits something from their family, right?
Prue: Yeah, money, antiques, a strong disposition. That's what normal people inherit.
Phoebe: Who wants to be normal when we can be special?
- Charmed
Yes, normal people inherit money, anitiques and so on...but what can a class inherit?
A Spoon?
After campfire on the last day of orientation, we were asked to meet at the canteen by our senior class...and we inherited a spoon from them...
Let's rewind...campfire's pretty boring initially with all the performances from all the facs, and by tht time it reaches the third faculty (Ares I think), the whole class was in the canteen eating our dinner from Poolside...
After that we were so bored by the campfire games that we decided to go to the class bench and chit chat, and later we went to the area near the field, formed a circle and sat down and chit chat and played games n discussed what we want to sell for the CNY stall...
By the time it's the song and dance, we were back in the central plaza...singing & dancing together...and of course we sung our 71-ing song...
But all these are not the main point....after the campfire ended, we met our senior class at the canteen, with a whole bunch of seniors from previous batches hanging around...
We were told to squeeze on 2 canteen tables...and do some cheers, and in particular, we are supposed to do this cheer that we have to jump, shake and turn around...
And then came the moment...the watermelon eating ceremony...we were given one watermelon, one spoon (which of course wasn't really used) and one minute to finish up the whole watermelon...
The eating part wasn't much of a problem, it is the part in which we have to open up the watermelon that was a problem, and we spent at least half the time trying to squash it open...
We more or less managed to finish the whole watermelon in one minute....and after the whole thing, Alicia was told to keep the spoon and passed it on to the next batch...and I heard that this watermelon eating tradition was started in 1987...and when I said "heard" I mean really overheard 2 seniors talking something about 1987 batch..so I just assumed...
Earlier that day after war games, I was collecting the valuables for the class in the hall, this teacher was from 71 too (96s71), which make exactly 10 years our seniors, guessed she went through the same watermelon eating thing too...
Later the class went to KAP (again) with the senior class...I am completely and utterly sick of KAP...played 终极密码...
All the fun's ended and here comes the lessons...sianz...actually I won't say "fun's ended" cause I don't really think that this orientation is that fun...though we had a lot of class interaction through practising for the performance, painting the banner and going out to eat together everyday....but the orientation programme itself is quite boring, which was made even worse by the bad weather...
But regardless of how fun the orientation, the REALLY boring lessons are beginning...
Phoebe: You know I'm not afraid of our powers. I mean, everyone inherits something from their family, right?
Prue: Yeah, money, antiques, a strong disposition. That's what normal people inherit.
Phoebe: Who wants to be normal when we can be special?
- Charmed
Yes, normal people inherit money, anitiques and so on...but what can a class inherit?
A Spoon?
After campfire on the last day of orientation, we were asked to meet at the canteen by our senior class...and we inherited a spoon from them...
Let's rewind...campfire's pretty boring initially with all the performances from all the facs, and by tht time it reaches the third faculty (Ares I think), the whole class was in the canteen eating our dinner from Poolside...
After that we were so bored by the campfire games that we decided to go to the class bench and chit chat, and later we went to the area near the field, formed a circle and sat down and chit chat and played games n discussed what we want to sell for the CNY stall...
By the time it's the song and dance, we were back in the central plaza...singing & dancing together...and of course we sung our 71-ing song...
But all these are not the main point....after the campfire ended, we met our senior class at the canteen, with a whole bunch of seniors from previous batches hanging around...
We were told to squeeze on 2 canteen tables...and do some cheers, and in particular, we are supposed to do this cheer that we have to jump, shake and turn around...
And then came the moment...the watermelon eating ceremony...we were given one watermelon, one spoon (which of course wasn't really used) and one minute to finish up the whole watermelon...
The eating part wasn't much of a problem, it is the part in which we have to open up the watermelon that was a problem, and we spent at least half the time trying to squash it open...
We more or less managed to finish the whole watermelon in one minute....and after the whole thing, Alicia was told to keep the spoon and passed it on to the next batch...and I heard that this watermelon eating tradition was started in 1987...and when I said "heard" I mean really overheard 2 seniors talking something about 1987 batch..so I just assumed...
Earlier that day after war games, I was collecting the valuables for the class in the hall, this teacher was from 71 too (96s71), which make exactly 10 years our seniors, guessed she went through the same watermelon eating thing too...
Later the class went to KAP (again) with the senior class...I am completely and utterly sick of KAP...played 终极密码...
All the fun's ended and here comes the lessons...sianz...actually I won't say "fun's ended" cause I don't really think that this orientation is that fun...though we had a lot of class interaction through practising for the performance, painting the banner and going out to eat together everyday....but the orientation programme itself is quite boring, which was made even worse by the bad weather...
But regardless of how fun the orientation, the REALLY boring lessons are beginning...
Thursday, January 12, 2006
DANCE!!!
//DANCE!!!//
All we need is music, sweet music
There'll be music everywhere
There'll be swingin', swayin' and records playin'
And dancin' in the street...
- Martha & The Vandellas
Dance dance & dance, that's pretty much how I've been spending my past few afternoons & evenings...
Alicia came up with this damn cool dance for the class performance, though unfortunately I think it only look really cool with her dancing, the guys looks really pathetic compared to her...
But when you put 13 guys who have no dancing gene in them, and expect them to dance this really cool dance, I thought we actually did not do too bad...we did the best we could to learn all the moves and make it look coordinated...
There is only this much we can do, so I'm proud of ourselves...considering the fact that we only learnt in on monday....
The girl's dance is not that much easier than ours either, theirs is less strenous I guess, without all the "leg split" moves or rolling around in pumping position, but their tempo seems faster and their moves seem more complicated....
And I realised dancing is a pretty good form of exercise...it exercise your muscles, make your more flexible, make you sweat a lot, and at the same time you must try to focus on doing the right steps, and concentrate on hand-leg coordination....not an easy thing at all...
1 last day of fun before the terror begins....
All we need is music, sweet music
There'll be music everywhere
There'll be swingin', swayin' and records playin'
And dancin' in the street...
- Martha & The Vandellas
Dance dance & dance, that's pretty much how I've been spending my past few afternoons & evenings...
Alicia came up with this damn cool dance for the class performance, though unfortunately I think it only look really cool with her dancing, the guys looks really pathetic compared to her...
But when you put 13 guys who have no dancing gene in them, and expect them to dance this really cool dance, I thought we actually did not do too bad...we did the best we could to learn all the moves and make it look coordinated...
There is only this much we can do, so I'm proud of ourselves...considering the fact that we only learnt in on monday....
The girl's dance is not that much easier than ours either, theirs is less strenous I guess, without all the "leg split" moves or rolling around in pumping position, but their tempo seems faster and their moves seem more complicated....
And I realised dancing is a pretty good form of exercise...it exercise your muscles, make your more flexible, make you sweat a lot, and at the same time you must try to focus on doing the right steps, and concentrate on hand-leg coordination....not an easy thing at all...
1 last day of fun before the terror begins....
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Campus Superstar Prediction
//Campus Superstar Prediction//
After watching all 10 guys and 10 girls performed...let me make a prediction for the guys and girls who will get into the semi finals...
First group of girls:
No chance at winning at all (eliminated next week):
Yvonne Chua (sung Fly Away)
She was only saved last week cause she is chio-er than Siew Ping. But looks can only carry her this far.
Barely missing the semi finals:
Shermaine Goh (sung 幸福的地图)
Not as bad as Yvonne, but she is just not as good/cute as the other 2 girls in her group. I do think she underperformed last week because she's too nervous so don't count her out yet. She might just make the semi finals, bumping one of the other 2 girls whom I think will make it out.
Semi Finalists:
Ng Imm Khim (sung 爱的主打歌)
She's cute, with a cute voice, and she doesn't 怯场 (like one of the judges mentioned). But somehow I don't see her doing well with slow songs with that her voice and age. But stick to fast-tempo songs and she should be a semi-finalist.
Geraldine (sung 解脱)
She's so coooool, her voice is unique, but then she is VERY nervous last week, work on that and she's a confirmed semi finalist.
First group of guys:
No chance at winning at all (eliminated next week):
Renfred Ng (sung 爱上未来的你）
Aunties who find him cute might vote for him...but I think that's all the votes he's getting, IF he make it through next week, then I guess there's no doubt he will be a semi-finalist cause he's clearly not as talented.
Barely missing the semi finals:
Lee Yin Wei (sung 简单爱)
Bad song choice last week in my opinion, does seem to have a pleasant tone, his fate really depends on his song choice next week, I wouldn't be surprised if he make it to the semi finals, but as of now, I don't think he will.
Semi Finalists:
Ng Chee Yang (sung 普通朋友）
Has the best technique among his group, but his voice is probably a love it/hate it kind. Based on what I know he's singing next week, he MIGHT be in danger cause people might be wow by his high voice and his technique, they might not necessarily like the high voice.
Chen Yi Yuan (sung 莎士比亚的天份）
My favourite voice of a guy among all guys. If he doesn't screw up badly for the next 2 weeks, I don't see why he won't make it.
Second group of girls:
No chance at winning at all (eliminated next week):
Sheena Goh/Clara Tan (sung 理想情人 & 最熟悉的陌生人 respectively)
Both has average voice, ok technique, and I think both underperformed this week. Clara might have done much better with a different song cause the chorus wasn't bad at all. Sheena does sound like she lost her voice (unless that's her natural voice)...so between this 2, I can't predict who will be out next, it depends on their performance next week.
Semi Finalists:
Ng Yang Ce (sung Cappucino)
She's so adorable! I think she will make it to the semi finals based on her looks + okay/cute singing. I also think she sounded like she no voice like that, so it's really a toss up between this 3 girls as to who will be eliminated and who will make it to the semi finals.
Teresa Tseng (sung Cinderalla)
I don't think there's any doubt she will make it to the semis. However, she need to have GREAT performance all the way, one little glitch might just put her out, though she look pretty, but she isn't exactly the very cute type, and she does look old for her age.
Second group of guys:
No chance at winning at all (eliminated next week):
Kenneth Lim (sung 我还能爱谁）
His singing just seems off to me, I can't pin point the exact thing that is bothering me, but I just don't think he have enough talent/look to pull him through another week.
Barely missing the semi finals:
Hong Yu Yang (sung 爱的就是你）
Really unique voice, really bad song choice. If he can choose a good song and wow us all, then he would have a really good chance in making the semis, especially with his looks as one of the judges pointed out. But he seems very uncomfortable on stage though.
Semi Finalists:
Adriano Huang （sung 爱你就等于爱自己）
I really really like his voice too, at least it doesn't sound too generic. Might be in danger if Yu Yang manage to garner enough votes.
Samuel Tan (sung Piano)
He has a rather pleasant voice too, but quite generic I would say. He does seem very comfortable on the stage though. Might be in danger if Yu Yang manage to garner enough votes.
Semi Finalists:
Girls:
Ng Imm Khim (sung 爱的主打歌)
Geraldine (sung 解脱)
Ng Yang Ce (sung Cappucino)
Teresa Tseng (sung Cinderalla)
Revival Round: Koh Bee Kwee (sung 燕尾蝶）(if she qualify for revival round?)
Choose a better song, and she should be in, her vocal technique is not bad, only hinderance for her is popularity (which accounts for 70% though).
Guys:
Ng Chee Yang (sung 普通朋友）
Chen Yi Yuan (sung 莎士比亚的天份）
Adriano Huang （sung 爱你就等于爱自己)
Samuel Tan (sung Piano)
Revival Round: Hong Yu Yang (sung 爱的就是你）
In fact I think he might not even need revival round to get in, so if he manage to get into the semis, one of the 4 guys above might have to get in through revival round.
Let's see how right I was a few weeks later...
After watching all 10 guys and 10 girls performed...let me make a prediction for the guys and girls who will get into the semi finals...
First group of girls:
No chance at winning at all (eliminated next week):
Yvonne Chua (sung Fly Away)
She was only saved last week cause she is chio-er than Siew Ping. But looks can only carry her this far.
Barely missing the semi finals:
Shermaine Goh (sung 幸福的地图)
Not as bad as Yvonne, but she is just not as good/cute as the other 2 girls in her group. I do think she underperformed last week because she's too nervous so don't count her out yet. She might just make the semi finals, bumping one of the other 2 girls whom I think will make it out.
Semi Finalists:
Ng Imm Khim (sung 爱的主打歌)
She's cute, with a cute voice, and she doesn't 怯场 (like one of the judges mentioned). But somehow I don't see her doing well with slow songs with that her voice and age. But stick to fast-tempo songs and she should be a semi-finalist.
Geraldine (sung 解脱)
She's so coooool, her voice is unique, but then she is VERY nervous last week, work on that and she's a confirmed semi finalist.
First group of guys:
No chance at winning at all (eliminated next week):
Renfred Ng (sung 爱上未来的你）
Aunties who find him cute might vote for him...but I think that's all the votes he's getting, IF he make it through next week, then I guess there's no doubt he will be a semi-finalist cause he's clearly not as talented.
Barely missing the semi finals:
Lee Yin Wei (sung 简单爱)
Bad song choice last week in my opinion, does seem to have a pleasant tone, his fate really depends on his song choice next week, I wouldn't be surprised if he make it to the semi finals, but as of now, I don't think he will.
Semi Finalists:
Ng Chee Yang (sung 普通朋友）
Has the best technique among his group, but his voice is probably a love it/hate it kind. Based on what I know he's singing next week, he MIGHT be in danger cause people might be wow by his high voice and his technique, they might not necessarily like the high voice.
Chen Yi Yuan (sung 莎士比亚的天份）
My favourite voice of a guy among all guys. If he doesn't screw up badly for the next 2 weeks, I don't see why he won't make it.
Second group of girls:
No chance at winning at all (eliminated next week):
Sheena Goh/Clara Tan (sung 理想情人 & 最熟悉的陌生人 respectively)
Both has average voice, ok technique, and I think both underperformed this week. Clara might have done much better with a different song cause the chorus wasn't bad at all. Sheena does sound like she lost her voice (unless that's her natural voice)...so between this 2, I can't predict who will be out next, it depends on their performance next week.
Semi Finalists:
Ng Yang Ce (sung Cappucino)
She's so adorable! I think she will make it to the semi finals based on her looks + okay/cute singing. I also think she sounded like she no voice like that, so it's really a toss up between this 3 girls as to who will be eliminated and who will make it to the semi finals.
Teresa Tseng (sung Cinderalla)
I don't think there's any doubt she will make it to the semis. However, she need to have GREAT performance all the way, one little glitch might just put her out, though she look pretty, but she isn't exactly the very cute type, and she does look old for her age.
Second group of guys:
No chance at winning at all (eliminated next week):
Kenneth Lim (sung 我还能爱谁）
His singing just seems off to me, I can't pin point the exact thing that is bothering me, but I just don't think he have enough talent/look to pull him through another week.
Barely missing the semi finals:
Hong Yu Yang (sung 爱的就是你）
Really unique voice, really bad song choice. If he can choose a good song and wow us all, then he would have a really good chance in making the semis, especially with his looks as one of the judges pointed out. But he seems very uncomfortable on stage though.
Semi Finalists:
Adriano Huang （sung 爱你就等于爱自己）
I really really like his voice too, at least it doesn't sound too generic. Might be in danger if Yu Yang manage to garner enough votes.
Samuel Tan (sung Piano)
He has a rather pleasant voice too, but quite generic I would say. He does seem very comfortable on the stage though. Might be in danger if Yu Yang manage to garner enough votes.
Semi Finalists:
Girls:
Ng Imm Khim (sung 爱的主打歌)
Geraldine (sung 解脱)
Ng Yang Ce (sung Cappucino)
Teresa Tseng (sung Cinderalla)
Revival Round: Koh Bee Kwee (sung 燕尾蝶）(if she qualify for revival round?)
Choose a better song, and she should be in, her vocal technique is not bad, only hinderance for her is popularity (which accounts for 70% though).
Guys:
Ng Chee Yang (sung 普通朋友）
Chen Yi Yuan (sung 莎士比亚的天份）
Adriano Huang （sung 爱你就等于爱自己)
Samuel Tan (sung Piano)
Revival Round: Hong Yu Yang (sung 爱的就是你）
In fact I think he might not even need revival round to get in, so if he manage to get into the semis, one of the 4 guys above might have to get in through revival round.
Let's see how right I was a few weeks later...
Saturday, January 07, 2006
06S71
//06S71//
It sounds like some secret code or something doesn't it?
But nah, that's my new class...
4 days of the orientation went past, and I felt like I didn't play much admist all the academic talks...
My OG was fun, the hexathlon was fun, the cheering was fun, the song sessions were fun, the dance sessions were FUN!
But all these are nothing compared to meeting my new class...which was very very exciting for me!! I mean afterall I'm gonna be classmates with them for at least 3 months (and hopefully for 2 years)
I was at the board with all the class lists, and finally when I managed to locate my name, the councillors were chasing us up the hall, and I only managed to see that Weixin is also in my class.
I admit I wasn't exactly very thrilled to know that (no offence), but after seeing who else is in my class, I must say I was pretty glad that I'm in this class...
I got a primary school classmate, Everlyn (whom I didn't know came to Hwa Chong), Mitchell, Yuming and Ming Shu are in my class too.
And there's Pauline, who I sort of know from NYSJAB...then there's Ferarina from Nanhua and Elaine from Xinmin (both schools are in same zone as CHS for SJAB) and I know quite a few of their friends, though I didn't know them personally...
And there's Wilson (Bing Yuan) from NCC, who was the medic for NCC, and Ming wei and I taught him first aid before...
And I'm very glad that there are guys from other schools too, if not it would be so boring with all the guys from chs...Zhirong from Anderson, who was quite friendly, and Denny and Ivan from Maris Stella...
And the best thing is the ratio of guys to girls is 1:1 (13 guys and 13 and girls)...it just made the whole class seem so perfect..lol...
All of my classmates are quite nice after the one day interaction I had with them...although I admit we are pretty passive when it comes to discussion, but with a few enthu ones like Alicia, Rebecca & Jason (Chun Rui) leading the discussion, most people did contribute one way or another...
And people actually do take the initiative to be part of something...eg. to be part in charge of the cheering, or be part of the dancing group, or in charge of the flag stuff etc...
The first session with the Civics tutor was quite boring...he's a very experienced teacher, being in Hwa Chong for 29 years...and he does seem pretty nice...he actually reminds me of Ong Tiong Meng, who wasn't exactly a very exciting person...
The senior class was pretty cool too...lame too...after we all stepped into the room, they started cheering 3 cheers for 72....and for a moment I thought we were in the wrong class...but after that brief moment, I knew it was a joke...cause most of them can't really lie...they were giggling while cheering...but poor Jason thought we really did come to the wrong class and almost went out....
The person next to me was like whispering to me "last year when they were juniors they must have been tricked by their senior too.."
We played Double Wacko (seniors outer circle, juniors inner circle and we must "protect" one another) which was actually much more fun then the one I played with my OG where no one really knows anyone yet...
We also played game of concetration and so on...and ended the session with singing Birthday song for the class, since 7th Jan is supposed to be official class Birthday (my class is 71 in case you haven't realised)...and through some cake and pizza, we interacted with each other...
I am very excited about Monday's activites and so on, especially since it's with the class...
Anyway, since today is supposed to be class birthday...I shall dedicate this entry to my class 06S71...let the fun begins!
It sounds like some secret code or something doesn't it?
But nah, that's my new class...
4 days of the orientation went past, and I felt like I didn't play much admist all the academic talks...
My OG was fun, the hexathlon was fun, the cheering was fun, the song sessions were fun, the dance sessions were FUN!
But all these are nothing compared to meeting my new class...which was very very exciting for me!! I mean afterall I'm gonna be classmates with them for at least 3 months (and hopefully for 2 years)
I was at the board with all the class lists, and finally when I managed to locate my name, the councillors were chasing us up the hall, and I only managed to see that Weixin is also in my class.
I admit I wasn't exactly very thrilled to know that (no offence), but after seeing who else is in my class, I must say I was pretty glad that I'm in this class...
I got a primary school classmate, Everlyn (whom I didn't know came to Hwa Chong), Mitchell, Yuming and Ming Shu are in my class too.
And there's Pauline, who I sort of know from NYSJAB...then there's Ferarina from Nanhua and Elaine from Xinmin (both schools are in same zone as CHS for SJAB) and I know quite a few of their friends, though I didn't know them personally...
And there's Wilson (Bing Yuan) from NCC, who was the medic for NCC, and Ming wei and I taught him first aid before...
And I'm very glad that there are guys from other schools too, if not it would be so boring with all the guys from chs...Zhirong from Anderson, who was quite friendly, and Denny and Ivan from Maris Stella...
And the best thing is the ratio of guys to girls is 1:1 (13 guys and 13 and girls)...it just made the whole class seem so perfect..lol...
All of my classmates are quite nice after the one day interaction I had with them...although I admit we are pretty passive when it comes to discussion, but with a few enthu ones like Alicia, Rebecca & Jason (Chun Rui) leading the discussion, most people did contribute one way or another...
And people actually do take the initiative to be part of something...eg. to be part in charge of the cheering, or be part of the dancing group, or in charge of the flag stuff etc...
The first session with the Civics tutor was quite boring...he's a very experienced teacher, being in Hwa Chong for 29 years...and he does seem pretty nice...he actually reminds me of Ong Tiong Meng, who wasn't exactly a very exciting person...
The senior class was pretty cool too...lame too...after we all stepped into the room, they started cheering 3 cheers for 72....and for a moment I thought we were in the wrong class...but after that brief moment, I knew it was a joke...cause most of them can't really lie...they were giggling while cheering...but poor Jason thought we really did come to the wrong class and almost went out....
The person next to me was like whispering to me "last year when they were juniors they must have been tricked by their senior too.."
We played Double Wacko (seniors outer circle, juniors inner circle and we must "protect" one another) which was actually much more fun then the one I played with my OG where no one really knows anyone yet...
We also played game of concetration and so on...and ended the session with singing Birthday song for the class, since 7th Jan is supposed to be official class Birthday (my class is 71 in case you haven't realised)...and through some cake and pizza, we interacted with each other...
I am very excited about Monday's activites and so on, especially since it's with the class...
Anyway, since today is supposed to be class birthday...I shall dedicate this entry to my class 06S71...let the fun begins!
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Concrete Angel
//Concrete Angel//
Through the wind and the rain
She stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings
And she flies to a place where she's loved
Concrete angel...
- Martina McBride
I have been listening to this song for quite some while...(that is the chorus by the way)...
But despite listening to it for so long, I didn't really took note of what the lyrics meant, I just took the chorus literally (the concrete angel standing hard as a stone etc)...
She walks to school with the lunch she packed
Nobody knows what she's holdin' back
Wearin' the same dress she wore yesterday
She hides the bruises with linen and lace
- Martina McBride
I always wondered what does this first verse has anything to do with the "concrete angel"...though it was quite obvious, somehow I just never realised...
But after watching the MTV just now, I finally realised what this whole song was about, and it brought tears to my eyes (yea I know, I've been pretty weird recently...crying so much over little things like this..)...
I always thought it is a beautiful song, but seeing the MTV really made the whole song better...
A statue stands in a shaded place
An angel girl with an upturned face
A name is written on a polished rock
A broken heart that the world forgot
- Martina McBride
I cried at this point (the bridge I think) during the MTV, cause this part of the lyrics seems quite straightforward (and the MTV is quite straightforward too, just showing scenes describing the lyrics), but what I visualised for the scenes for this part of the song is totally different from what I saw, the scenes in the MTV sort of caught me by surprise...
I really recommend you to watch the MTV here...(the girl in the MTV did a really good job)...or listen to the song here
Through the wind and the rain
She stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings
And she flies to a place where she's loved
Concrete angel...
- Martina McBride
I have been listening to this song for quite some while...(that is the chorus by the way)...
But despite listening to it for so long, I didn't really took note of what the lyrics meant, I just took the chorus literally (the concrete angel standing hard as a stone etc)...
She walks to school with the lunch she packed
Nobody knows what she's holdin' back
Wearin' the same dress she wore yesterday
She hides the bruises with linen and lace
- Martina McBride
I always wondered what does this first verse has anything to do with the "concrete angel"...though it was quite obvious, somehow I just never realised...
But after watching the MTV just now, I finally realised what this whole song was about, and it brought tears to my eyes (yea I know, I've been pretty weird recently...crying so much over little things like this..)...
I always thought it is a beautiful song, but seeing the MTV really made the whole song better...
A statue stands in a shaded place
An angel girl with an upturned face
A name is written on a polished rock
A broken heart that the world forgot
- Martina McBride
I cried at this point (the bridge I think) during the MTV, cause this part of the lyrics seems quite straightforward (and the MTV is quite straightforward too, just showing scenes describing the lyrics), but what I visualised for the scenes for this part of the song is totally different from what I saw, the scenes in the MTV sort of caught me by surprise...
I really recommend you to watch the MTV here...(the girl in the MTV did a really good job)...or listen to the song here
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