迷路了吗？

喜欢寂寞

2012-01-17T18:48:00.001+08:00

我喜欢一个人躲在图书馆。
没在读书，只是发发白日梦，思考人生。

我喜欢坐在HSS图书馆三楼靠窗的位子。
没在做tutorial, 只是看看天上的云，看白天和黑夜的交错。

我喜欢寂寞。
不，我喜欢掩饰寂寞。

而图书馆就是掩饰寂寞最好的地方。

印度

2011-12-08T01:32:00.001+08:00

大家总是说，人生若是要活得精彩，就应该活在当下，千万不要留有任何遗憾。

当下的我，真的真的非常想去印度走一趟。但最终我还是选择了熟悉的宝岛台湾。朋友的临阵退缩成了我去不成印度的借口。但我想，终究还是要怪我自己过不了自己这一关。

对我来说，一个人的旅行并不孤单寂寞，反而多了份自由和洒脱。但是在一个这么无拘无束的情况下，反而会发现面对真情流露的自己比面对他人来得更艰难。我不需要天天硬逼自己带着笑脸迎人，也不必刻意隐藏心中任何的不悦，但我就是不习惯这样的自己。对我而言，封闭始终比释放来得容易。

我依然非常遗憾这一次无法到印度去，但在我找到勇气面对真实的自己之前，我也只能活在遗憾中。

印度，我一定要在毕业之前征服你。

我回来了

2011-12-06T01:16:00.003+08:00

迷路了六个月，我终于回来了。

这一次，我务必要找会我对华文的热忱。

Contented

2011-06-29T18:19:00.003+08:00

I haven't felt this carefree (travelling aside) and contented with my life in a long while.

Thanks pancakes. :)

Are You Lost?

2011-06-14T21:10:00.003+08:00

I think I am.

Since ORD, I've been to quite a few places, did quite a lot of things, in school, out of school.

But I still feel as lost as ever.

Maybe even more so.

Epic Journey Part 3: Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh City)

2010-11-14T21:54:00.008+08:00

Yes, there's finals coming I know. But I'm bored from all the mugging, and inspired by Chi Weng's blog entries on the trip, I decided to continue with my "moment of the day" and "photo of the day" entry for my epic trip.

Day 6: Crossing the road in Vietnam for the first time without getting killed.

For those who went to Vietnam before, you'd know how crazy the roads there are. For those who haven't been to Vietnam, the photos say it all. And for some reason, Chi Weng and I decided to cross the road to go to the centre of the roadabout just to take pictures! That marks the first time we crossed the 6-7 lane roads in Vietnam on our own! Before that, we always tagged behind some locals.

I can only say, I'm glad we are still alive.

Day 7: SB22!

This is a rather interesting day at Cu Chi Tunnel and all that, but seeing the SB22 at the Reunification Palace really amused me. So much for 3G army huh?

Day 8: Cab ride from hell

Last day in Ho Chi Minh, and the two of us were making our way to the train station to catch our 17 hour train ride to Danang. This cab ride is scary on so many different levels. Firstly, the crazy jam makes me really worried that we will miss our train ride. Secondly, the way the bikes just squeezed all around us is really scary too. But the worst has got to the be the taxi meter. It NEVER stopped ticking. I swear my heart is ticking along with the meter. Uber scary.

In the end, a 20 min taxi ride cost us around S$36. And no, the taxi driver didn't cheat our money by going in circles cause I had my map in hand and I was tracking the route he was taking.

Now for the photos of the day...

Day 6: Centre of Attraction (a photo that almost cost our lives)

Day 7: The Mobile Radio Section

Day 8: Signallers at Work! (familiar not?)

There's 2 other rather interesting photos that I want to share, those are the "Word of the Day" for Day 7 and "Quote of the Day" for day 8...

Day 7 Word of the Day: Vietmization

Day 8 (Quote of the Day): Photographers

月亮忘记了

2010-10-09T00:52:00.005+08:00

最近看了几米的书「月亮忘记了」，感触很深。几米的画笔，画出了变化无常的美丽，让我体会现实的残酷与幸福的易逝，让我读了有一种莫名的悲伤。其中一句话令我印象深刻。“快乐才刚开始，悲伤却早已潜伏而来。”快乐，就如它的名字一样，真的是来得快也走得快的欢乐。那么短暂的时光，如果不去珍惜，一直认为还有明天，也只会有后悔。

书中也提到“生命中，不断有人离开或进入。于是看见的，看不见了；记得的，遗忘了。生命中，不断地有得到和失落。于是看不见的，看见了；遗忘的，记得了。”它主要的意思是人生变化无常，今天看到的景物，明天可能就不见了，现在坐在你身旁的同学，十年后，回忆只会像一地微微晃动的迷离树影。当你有一天记起往时时，遗忘的，记得了，看不见的，似乎也感觉到了。

I wrote this when I was in secondary 2 as part of a speech I was supposed to make during assembly.

I miss being able to write like that.

Epic Journey Part 2: Cambodia (Phnom Penh)

2010-08-27T17:43:00.009+08:00

Studying Biz Law alone in the library is not fun. So I decided to continue with my epic journey journal logs! So for the moment of the day...

Day 4: Staring at the guest book at Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum (S21 Prison) for so so long, not knowing what to pen down...

People familiar with the history of Cambodia, esp the Khmer Rouge should know roughly what happened during that period from 1975 to 1979. However, reading about it, and seeing it is two very different things.

What really moved me about this museum (which used to be the S21 torture prison during the Khmer Rouge) is that it really appeals to the emotions of the visitor. More than just showing pictures and statistics, there were a lot of personal stories of individuals (and their families), who were tortured under the Khmer Rouge, and of people who were working under them. It made me realised that it really didn't matter whose side you are on, everyone suffers.

And of course the gloomy weather that day added to the gloominess of the place.

So yes, I really did sit there, looking at the guest book (for visitors to fill in their thoughts), reading the entries written by other visitors, and finally penning down my thoughts after I spent a long time thinking.

Day 5: Chilling at Number 9 Sister Guesthouse, listening to the rainfall.

As you can see in the pictures, the guesthouse I stayed at in Phnom Penh is on a lake (and it only cost USD$5 per night for 2 people!). And among all the places I went for this trip, Phnom Penh is the only place where I would unsafe going out at night. That's why we decided to just spend the night at our guesthouse.

A banana milkshake, a comfortable chair, a nice movie, light drizzle, that's the perfect combination for a chillax lazy night.

Now for the photos of the day...

Day 4: 背影

Day 5: Chi Weng & Kay Siong on a tuk tuk!

Epic Journey Part 1: Cambodia (Siem Reap)

2010-08-20T03:06:00.010+08:00

It's been so so long since I last wrote something in this space. I kind of miss writing, not that I can write very well to start with. I must admit it feels kind of sexy to be typing this entry on my new macbook, it's almost like Julie (from "Julie and Julia") typing her daily blog entries, or Betty (from "Ugly Betty").

But I digress.

I know this is kind of long overdue, and it is kind of weird to be doing this now at this kind of unearthly hours, but I guess that's what 3ams do to people. I thoroughly enjoyed my 23 days trip with chiweng and I though it deserved at least an entry in this space. But learning from my mistake from the Japan trip, which I foolishly assumed that I would be so inspired by the trip that I would immediately blog abt it when I return, I decided to keep travel journal this time round.

There were lots of downtime where we would just sit down, order a drink and chill. These were the best moments for me to consolidate my thoughts and pen them down. Reading those entries now brought me back to the exact moment when I wrote them. Knowing that I would be too lazy to type out all 23 entries, I decided to capture a moment of the day in each entry, so here goes...

Day 1: Sitting down at Khmer Kitchen after a long morning to enjoy some superb Khmer curry

We touched down in Siem Reap around 7am, and we spent most part of the morning walking around exploring the area. Come lunch time, we were both starving, thirsty, and tired (esp with the hot sun). So we were trying to look for a place to eat when we pass by "Khmer Kitchen" and we saw 3 groups of natives inside.

And before I continue, let me just define some of the terms which may be quite confusing. By "natives", I was refering to Singaporeans. Chiweng and I love to people-watch, and our favourite past-time over there was to attempt to identify the nationality of tourists. And being signallers, we came up with this set of codewords so that it won't be THAT obvious that we are talking about them. So...

Natives = Singaporeans
Neighbours = Malaysians
Tom Yum = Thais
Sushi = Japanese
Kim Chi = Koreans
Dim Sum = Hongkees

We were hopeless at guessing what countries the ang mohs were from, so we didn't even bother coming up with codewords for them.

Back to the natives, so we saw a whole bunch of natives inside Khmer Kitchen, we figured the food can't be that bad and we went in. I was glad we did cause the curry was probably one of the best (if not the best) curry I had during the trip (and mind you I had A LOT of curry during the trip).

Day 2: Epic tuna bread lunch on top of Phimeanakas

Angkor Wat was impressive, and the sheer age of the ancient ruins made it such a epic place to have a picnic lunch. I admit the reason why we bought tuna and bread and brought it along was because we were afraid that food prices there would be severely inflated considering it's a major tourist attraction (we were wrong by the way). But since we brought it, we might as well eat it right?

Phimeanakas is one of the tallest temple that can be climbed, and having this tuna with bread lunch on top of it felt...familiar. We were both sweaty and tired by the time we reach the top, and eating that tuna (which is the exact same brand as the one in the combat rations pack) in this kind of condition felt exactly like outfield (less the camou cream). But still, it was a rather nice moment.

Day 3: The ultra durable camera

We decided to rent a bicycle on the third day to explore places that are slightly out of walking distance. As you can see in the picture, all my belongings are in the basket in front. I put my camera right on top for convenience sake because I would stop to take pictures whenever I see something interesting. By now, you should know what happened to the camera. It was a really really hot day and we spotted this aircon coffee joint, so we decided to chill there for a while. On the way there, I probably hit some rocks or something that caused the camera to fly out of the basket (I screamed while it did), it landed right in front of my bicycle, and my bicycle wheel went right over it (that's when I screamed even louder).

Apart from the moment of the day, I also chose a photo of the day for each day. It may be a nice photo taken from a interesting angle, or just a funny photo in general.

Day 1: Watching the day fade away...

Day 2: Kay Siong, Chi Weng, S3, DYS3 & S3 Spec

Day 3: Writing journal at 8th Street Bar

Missing You

2010-05-02T18:06:00.003+08:00

After seeing wilson's tweet about the class blog, I decided to pay it a visit...and there's so much I miss about school...

I miss stoning at the class bench.
I miss playing bridge at the class bench, and doing so without getting caught.
I miss the mad run I had to do every morning to make it in time to flag raising.
I miss spending HOURS at the class bench each time after a major exam to decide where we should go.
I miss sleeping at the class bench.
I miss mango madness on fridays (and it's not even that nice)
I miss all the dinners we usually have on fridays, from bukit timah food cetnre to newton circus.
I miss going to comm serve every week (tho I always secretly complain and whine in my heart, I always end up enjoying the time there)
I miss the dinners/sweet talks/old chang kee we had after each comm serve
I miss the mugging sessions all around singapore's food courts.
I miss ponning pointless events like sports meet together, while trying to evade the npccs.
I miss the stayovers and kbox sessions.
I miss all my classmates.

And meeting up with quite a few of platoon mates this couple of days also triggered some memories of my 1.5 years in hell hole too...

I miss eating 6 packs of maggie noddles in 3 days...
I miss doing my tuition work by the window looking into the battalion square
I miss the few dine-ins we had during nights-out (pasta mania...and who can forget the awful jing zhen tou)
I miss eating good food during nights-out with good company.
I miss "meow-ing" my favourite cat.
I miss moobie's moobs.
I miss eating chong pang nasi lemak after each major outfield exercise.
I miss taking afternoon naps, knowing that you have no more activities for the rest of the day.
I miss all the pseudo intelligent talks we tried to have, on topics like pre marital sex.
I miss openly despising our papa sierra.
I miss watching crap tv on a weekday afternoon while doing the duty signaller duty.
I miss garlic chicken balls.
I miss red bean dumpling (shoot me please).
I miss my platoon mates (most of them anyway).

Owe Money

2010-02-14T00:18:00.003+08:00

Seeing that CNY is coming (in fact it's CNY now), I decided to try to clear all my debts, and collect back all the money people owe me.

So I called Clarence to collect back some Jap yen he owes me, but he didn't pick up. He smsed me to ask me what's up.

Me:
"Haha..nevermind, wanted to ask if you have ibnaking to transfer the money, cause better not owe over the new year, but Nevermind la"

Chio:
"Ahhhh its ok maybe i return with kh when we meet up? Legend says owe money cannot owe guo nian (only applicable to RMB, NTD, SGD, Rm, as well as currencies of countries that have a population comprising >60% of ethnic chinese) so not applicable to yen dont worryyy!"

Happy CNY and Happy Valentines' Day!

Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough

2010-02-09T02:03:00.003+08:00

Now I don't want to lose you
But I don't want to use you
Just to have somebody by my side

And I don't want to hate you
I don't want to take you
But I don't want to be the one to cry

That don't really matter to anyone anymore.
But like a fool I keep losing my place
And I keep seeing you walk through that door

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby, sometimes love just ain't enough

Now I could never change you
I don't want to blame you
Baby you don't have to take the fall

Yes I may have hurt you
but I did not desert you
Maybe I just want to have it all

It makes a sound like thunder it makes me feel like rain
And like a fool who will never see the truth
I keep thinking something's gonna change

And there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are
Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough
Baby, sometimes, love... it just ain't enough

- Patty Smyth & Don Henley

Growing Up

2010-02-06T15:04:00.004+08:00

So I went back to school today, both high school and jc.

As much as I'm still grateful towards some of my teachers for what they've done for me, I'm just not comfortable with seeing them, at least not 1 to 1. To me, they may be that one great teacher, but to them, I'm probably just one of their many students who've graduated. So I don't want to show up unexpectedly, and let the conversation drift into a "so how's life" kind of thing with awkward silences in between. That's why I always prefer to look for teachers when I'm in a group, at least I wouldn't need to be mentally drained to think of ways to keep the conversation going.

But that's beside the point.

So yes, I went back to chinese high, mainly to see my st john juniors (who are so so so much younger than me) train for zone comp. According to jeremy, the trainers are cui (in content knowledge as well as ability to teach). Hence, the trainees are cui.

But yea, unlike him, I wasn't really there to help improve the situation. I always remember when I was a trainer and trainee, I hated it when seniors (who have graduated) come back. Aside from the pressure I get with them around, I just think different people have different training styles, so by having inputs from so many people, it actually makes matters worse. So I went just to take a look and show some moral support.

I must say for that short duration I was there, it really brought back a lot of memories. I must say as a trainee, I was never confident in my own abilities then, but with support from the team mates, a lot of hardwork and some luck, we managed to pulled through, which is why the current batch of comp team reminded me of our batch in a lot of ways. I saw a lot of uncertainty in them, a major lack of confidence, but I also some glimpses of determination and the desire to want to do better. I hope with that, they can go a long way, regardless of the outcome of the competition.

I was much more confident in the position of a trainer than trainee. I really did believe in my ability in teaching and inspiring them. I don't know how much of my long and naggy commentaries (after each case or footdrill procedure) actually went into their head, but I tried to give constructive comments that really help them improve. And it was really far more satisfying seeing the team I trained got champion for national comp, than getting the 2nd runner up myself. So yes, my point is, the trainers are very important too. And I cannot disagree with Jeremy's comments about the trainers from what I see yesterday. Oh well, I can only hope for the best.

And yes, the main reason for me going back school yesterday was for the J1 orientation, which wasn't any of our business actually, but considering how free I am, I went back with some of my classmates.

Seeing the JC1s being so enthusiastic and all that, made me feel...(I won't say old) jealous. There they are, the most exciting and packed 2 years of their life about to commence, and here I am, with those 2 years gone, and possibly the most miserable 2 years of my life over too, I'm looking at a year of working and earning $$ and all that. I am not denying it can be quite an experience depending on the jobs, but it's just all these jobs applications, overseas trips with friends, keeping track of my own accounts, the 21st birthday parties and all that, that make me feel like I'm being pushed into the adulthood, and that I'm actually growing up. No more fun school life, no more oppressive and depressing army life, this is it.

And it is the inevitability of it all that makes it slightly unsettling.

Looking ahead, the year will be all about working, going on trips, and eventually university. But I guess to sum it all up, the year ahead will be all about growing up.

I've lots of growing up to do.

Japan & Taiwan

2010-02-04T00:53:00.005+08:00

Wow, it's been quite a while.

So...I'm back from Japan and Taiwan! (though this is like...1 month old news).

The Japan trip was pretty....surreal, looking back now. To quote chuanhan/xinwei who said this on the first day of the trip at changi airport, "when we look back, it will be like a dream".

I still remember chuan han, xinwei and I were like "we're going japan!" every 10 minutes all the way from changi airport to KL airport to Narita airport. We couldn't believe it was actually happening, and for me, it was especially weird, considering I was still in camp 2 days before that. I was like "2 days ago, I was in mandai hill, now, I'm in Japan!"

So 12 days flew by just like that. It was fun...and tiring...considering how early we wake up and how late we sleep, and more importantly, how much we walk! But every moment of it was worth it. I especially love the cold yet sunny weather in Japan, the weather's almost too perfect for me. I will also remember the Japanese people and their impeccable dress sense. And Mt Fuji which looks unreal, I mean seriously, it looks EXACTLY like your postcard pictures.

Then came Taiwan.

Compared to Japan, there was no novelty factor for me, so it didn't feel like a holiday trip as much, it was more like a "going-home" trip to me. Everything around seems so familiar, and I know it's cliche, but it almost felt like I never left 3 years ago. But I'm glad I managed to go to a lot of places I wanted to go the other time but did not have a chance. So admist all the familiarity, there were refreshing stuff too.

I especially enjoyed the day I went to CKS Memorial Hall alone, it felt liberating, especially when I'm standing in Zi You Guang Chang alone, just taking in the sights and enjoying a moment to myself. And finding the North Gate finally was a highlight for me too, cause it was something I read about, and have been wanting to go, so though it may not be spectacular or grand, it was still very satisfying to see it with my own eyes (esp since it's so hard to find). I will also be forever thankful for the you ma ma, you ba ba, zhi qun and meng han's hospitality.

And despite it being my 2nd trip to Taiwan, there are still so many places I want to go! So yes, I will be going Taiwan again...sometime in the distant future...

And I wanted to write about what happened in Jan...my job seeking experience etc, but since it's so late...I shall leave it for another time, when the mood strikes (which is rare nowadays).

Quotes Of The Century

2009-12-30T13:32:00.004+08:00

Wanted to blog about my Japan trip before I fly to Taiwan, but really too much things to do and too little time. So I will just post some funny quotes from Japan.

Kai Herng: I'm the neatest in my family.

Chuan Han: Clarence, your mum is very skinny one right?
Clarence: Yea, like me.

Kai Herng: Palette town is Ash's hometown right? From pokemon?
Chuan Han: Pokemon is real huh?

Ok...off to Taiwan!

Goodbye & Hello

2009-12-14T20:21:00.015+08:00

//Goodbye & Hello//

跟带给我痛苦的人挥挥手,
我告别了他们所有,
跟那世界,
Say goodbye, say goodbye, say goodbye...
- Tanya Chua (Goodbye & Hello)

141209.

So it's finally over.

Someone once asked me, what's the difference between 2 years in JC and 2 years in NS?

I mean if you ask me to do a point by point comparison, the list of differences would be never ending. But what I answered him was this.

The 2 years in NS is another life altogether. On 15th Dec 2007, my life was put on hold and I was pushed into a brand new life. The scope of things we were expected to do was very different from what we were used to, the structure of the organisation and how things work was very much different too. So, in a lot of ways, we were very much out of our comfort zone. But just like what I always teach my students about Darwin's theory of evolution, when there's a change, we adapt and only the fittest survive.

And survive we did. Some survived the 2 years with the help of endless status-es, others scraped through with sheer willpower, but the main thing is we did it together.

So before I say goodbye to 2 years of my life, which was filled pain and agony (and I do believe enough has been said about all these agony, that I'm not going to waste another entry on it), I want to remember the people, who were my main source of motivation that got me through my 2 years (esp the 1.5 years in mhc).

I admit I felt quite depressed on 6th Nov. And it's not because people are ORD-ing and I have not, neither was it the whole ORD parade atmosphere that got me feeling that way cause I was way too busy doing the PA and getting pissed at Chris Tay to actually feel anything.

But it's the fact that a lot of my friends are leaving, and I felt that I have not done enough to show them that I cared. And contrary to popular belief, I'm so not that kind that will overtly show my care and concern for people. I cannot bring myself to write love letters like wenqin did, and I don't know what to tell them in a sms like chinhua did.

When wenqin and shanglong were leaving, as much as I was telling them to go, I wanted them to linger around a little longer. I know we all have to move on eventually, yet I wanted that moment to last a little longer. This apparant contradiction in emotion, was the whole reason I was feeling down during those few days, and it took me quite a while to get over.

So I hope this little memory lane thing will make up for it.

To Shang Long: My favourite mao mi!

Thanks for meowing when I feel down, and helping me so much outfield.

I will always remember the time when the 2 of us sitting down together at the carpark near the training shed at the Palm House, with lots of mosquitoes and flies flying around. It was the end of the 16 click route march, and they were doing some hasty defense thing, and S3 and CO just dumped the 2 of us there. And we looked at each other and asked ourselves "why are we doing this" for the zillionth time.

I also remember during ATEC stage 2, we were setting up the SQT at the top of Peng Kang Hill. And after setting up the damn SQT (we have to hammer in the pegs using STONES!), we just sat down/lied down and enjoy the breeze and view. That has got to be the best moment for me in any exercises. Away from the highly stressful CP and away from all scrutinising eyes.

To Chi Weng: My fellow S3 signaller!

I find it very amusing how we always sound so serious when we are actually talk about totally senseless stuff. You may be always sleepy outfield, but we still walked together with S3 for almost every single exercise, and you really did help me a lot (like adjusting my antennas and stuff). It was definitely fun working with you.

There are so many moments that I will remember. Like in Wallaby, we were waiting for S3 in the M113 just before the live firing, and we decided to cook our fav red bean dumpling together, then we started cam whoring and taking weird pictures. I also remember during one of the company exercise, we were attached to S2 to cover safety. The 2 of us were stuck at Old Upper Thomson Road for the entire night, and subsquently we had to ferry like 101 casualties in our tiny landrover.

I guess if there's anything I need to thank perk lun for, it was to put the 2 of us together. I admit you are definitely not the best person to work with especially when it comes to manning comms at night (since you are barely awake). However beyond all that, you brought the much needed joy and laughter, by just being yourself, which was very much needed outfield. And your laidback personality balanced out my tensed up and gan chiong personality, so I guess I can say we make a great team. Seagull duracells FTW!

To Iven Peh: My fellow tutor!

I think we spent the most time at the table in our bunks, with you taking one side of the table and me the other, preparing for our tuition. I must admit it was really a very effective time to pass time in camp, esp during lull period. I will never forget in Wallaby, where we had to mann comms in the M113. The sand and dust + heavily distorted comms + roaring engine of the M113 = disaster. But we still made it happen!

To Wen Qin: My source of all panadols and plasters (and food)!

You are definitely the perfect house husband, I mean the broom you bought is probably the best in the entire battalion. And your cupboard is always fully equipped, whenever I need anything in camp, I am sure I can find it in your cupboard. And it's not just in camp, you are also always fully prepared to supply us with anything ranging from socks to heatpacks during outfield.

The 3 days 2 nights in Lancer during ex Nomad is definitely the most physically demanding thing I had to do in my 2 years in NS. And you went through it together with me! You had no idea how proud I was when the 2 of us managed to complete it, and I was really really happy that you lasted all the way, because if you had fall out or what, I probably wouldn't lasted that long too.

To See Kiat: My fellow singer!

I'm glad I manage to find someone with the same interest as me in camp and I will never forget your attempt to hit that whistle note in "Loving You". I will also never forget that cold cold night in Wallaby, where we had to do sentry followed by manning comms, for 4 hours straight. We even had to go trace lines to Alpha since they were not responding at all.

To Joshua: My fellow "ORD-on-141209" mate!

We almost couldn't ORD today cause OC is not around! Thankfully that didn't happen. I will remember the Jeep course days, and also the Ops Bacinent period, where we always take over and hand over to each other at the same tango. And being the RJC smart guy, you always manage to answer any weird tuition question I throw at you.

And the thing I will remember most about you is your work ethics. I remember just before ex VHF in SI, we had to draw a lot of radio stores, and the 2 of us pratically carried all the RTs up to the 5th storey bunk, making a grand total of 7 trips. I was cussing and swearing inside cause there were quite a few people who were not helping at all, but you were just as zen as ever. You defintely left a very deep first impression with that.

To Chin Hua: My essays editor!

You effectively went through 7-8 drafts of all the essays I have written so far for UCAS and PSC. (and more to come!) I really cannot thank you enough for that, and it's not just the editting, but all the conversations we had about applying overseas, applying scholarships, and what I want to do in general. You have no idea how jealous I am of you because you are so sure of what you want in life. But I guess some people just take longer to figure this out, and well some people lived their entire life without knowing it, so I'm happy for you.

To Shaun Lim: My favourite moobies to grab!

I really hated your guts initially, for quite some time too. But something just happened, maybe you realised or what, and you became a lot easier to get along with. I will always remembe hui hui and jun jun and really, study hard! (my resources are still all free for you to photocopy if you want).

To Kian Hong: My fellow HC schoolmate!

There were 5 of us! Then Aaron went 21 SA, then Yen Shan went Brunei, and Robert went airforce! I really also need to thank you tremendously for helping me so so much with my UCAS and PSC essay, but more importantly the UCL questionaire. It was so last minute, and you were helping me edit it right up to the last minute before we flew to Brunei. You even met up with me outside just to pass me your KI notes and my editted essay.

To Shaun Yap: My bed buddy!

You may have went to S4 branch, but you are always part of the platoon to me. I will always remember coming back to bunk after SOC training and I'll be zi highing with you about how shiok SOC trainings are. I will always remember you and your admin attire (I cannot really remember when was the last time you wore uniform!), and your countdown chart on your cupboard.

To Pang Hua: My fellow cat meow-er!

I will always remember how you always disturb either me, Joshua or Wen Qin at night over your personal problems. Seriously, we have said it to you a lot of times, and I will say it one last time, grow up already! I will never understand your obsession over certain things (and people), but I guess that's what makes you dinstinctly USWO tan pang hua.

To Yong Soon: My fellow SEAH!

Like I wrote in your ORD mag, I am constantly amazed how you will flash this mega watt smile everytime I see you outfield (when I'm like damn shagged already). I will also remember the night up on Mt Biang and our failed attempt at starting a nice sustainable fire. I will also remember your very amusing fishhead curry keychain, and the legendary LuLu.

To Yee Lee: My favourite Line sgt!

"Signal, fall in for lunch, faster faster" x 10 (in an extremely annoying voice). I will never forget that! And who can forget the day you became Cpt Low when you openly f-ck weiliang! And I will always remember how you refused to put down your fieldpack till the entire platoon is back during the 24 click route march. I was impressed!

To Wilson: My BSOOOO!

In all honesty, I think you did a great job as a BSO. But more importantly, I think you were great as a PC. It wasn't easy being our PC, with us being so independent to the extent that we don't really like to take instructions sometimes. Yet somehow, we managed to went through all exercises together, so kudos for that!

So this is it.

I don't know how many of those people above will I keep in contact with in years to come, but we had a memorable 2 years, so that's what I will take away with me.

Time can take away a lot of things, but it cannot take away the memories I have of each and every one of them.

Unlike most people, I never imagined myself to be jumping up and down for joy on my ORD day, neither do I expect fireworks or stuff like that, though I did feel a momentary surge of emotion when I saw my pink IC. But I think this is a fitting end.

So on this note, I guess I can officially say goodbye to the 2 years.

我不回头一步一步往前走,
我找回了我的自由,
对这世界,
Say hello, say hello, say hello...
-Tanya Chua (Goodbye & Hello)

New life, new jobs, infinite possibilities (wow, sounds like the SAF ad!)

Japan and Taiwan awaits me! Can't wait!!

My Sister's Keeper

2009-10-31T12:40:00.003+08:00

//My Sister's Keeper//

In view of the recent events, I have been thinking a lot about the meaning of life, dealing with deaths and so on. And I think this movie pretty much sums up my thoughts of these issues.

Can't remember the exact quote, but Anna said something along this line, "I wish something good came out from her death, like they named a street after her, or they changed the law for her, but no, it didn't happen, she's gone and life goes on." I like how real the movie is when it comes to dealing with the issue of death.

I didn't cry like most of my friends did, but I think it's definitely a movie that's more than just entertainment, and for me, there's no better time to watch this movie than now. It's a fitting end to a lot of stuff that has been happening lately.

Time to move on.

Noodles

2009-10-28T20:14:00.003+08:00

//Noodles//

I realised I'm happier in camp lately.

I mean...given the fact the freedom is nearing, of course I would feel happier.

I guess the most obvious sign of my relatively better mood in camp would be the pack of "Mee Sedap" in my cupboard. It's been there for....weeks? Almost a month I think?

That's to say I have not cooked and eat noodles in camp for that long. The last time I cooked noodles was the night before I passed my SOC (so peeps, I strongly recommend all to eat noodles the night before any SOC test, it helps!)

Compared to the days where I used to eat 6 packet of noodles in 3 days just to vent my frustrations, I think I can confidently conclude that life is not as f-ed up as it used to be.

At least for now.

On a separate note, my backache seems rather bad this time round. Maybe it's not that bad, but it seems like it's here to stay, and not some fleeting back muscle ache.

来不及

2009-10-20T21:10:00.003+08:00

//来不及//

过期杂志上登着
太多早逝青春
路人的嘴里
全是对别人生命的揣测
-陈珊妮 (来不及)

We never quite realised how fragile life is.

I think I need to re-evaluate my priorities in life.

Transition

2009-10-16T19:42:00.003+08:00

//Transition//

It's been almost 2 months since I wrote something in this space. Been busy with quite some stuff during the weekends, with tuition mainly and stuff like the 2 overseas trip right after I ORD.

September was a pretty hectic month in camp, I still remember us lamenting on how bad the month of September would be after we first saw the training programme, with SOC test and 10 click run on the same day, and SOCs and ACCTs back to back , and let's not forget the highlight of the month, which is the 24 click route march followed by the 32 click route march.

So, we bitched, we whined, but we still made it through September in one piece, just like how we surviced through the past 15 months together in this hell hole. In a way, every month was a struggle. Life always look bleak at the start of the month when the training programme first came out, but when it's all over, there's always a feeling of "that's not so bad afterall". But seriously, I cannot even imagine how I can make it through the past 16 months without the people around me. Granted we are not perfect, and most of them annoy me sometimes with some of the things they do (and I'm sure I'm much of an annoyance with my...antics), but they are my source of motivation for pressing on a lot of times. But more importantly, they brought the much needed laughter and joy to the camp, making camp life more tolerable.

I still remember there was a time where almost every entry in this space was about how pathetic my life is in this camp, so much so that I decided to stop blogging about life in camp. And now I'm left with just 2 months here. I won't say time flies, cause well it didn't, like I say every month was a struggle.

But despite the misery this place has brought me, I had this weird sensation when I booked in on Monday night. It was kind of the same feeling I got when I booked out for the first time after I enlist, that feeling I got when I stepped into my house. So as I was walking up the slope into the mustering square that Monday night, I can say I almost felt a little happy. But of course that feeling didn't last too long when retarded things happen as usual come Tues morning and the entire week that follows.

I know it's crazy to feel this way, but I can't say I'm too surprise. As ORD approaches, I guess there's a change in mindset for a lot of people. I was telling my favorite mao mi/shang long (MEOW!) that I'm little apprenhensive about ORD-ing. I told him I'm so used to the current pace of life, the company (and I don't mean support company) I have and I'm so used to having things that are out of my control.

Right now, when life sucks, I can blame the whole world for it, blame the people up there for planning f-ed up training programme, blame my superiors (esp a meatball lookalike) for being bastards. I have the right to do that cause I didn't choose to be here, I didn't choose to serve this 2 years. It's all out of my control.

But come 14th dec, I choose what I want to do (or at least to a very large degree I have the choice). I can't blame anyone anymore. But more importantly, come 14th Dec, there's gonna be a huge degree of uncertainty in life, it's no longer be all planned out for me like how the past 2 years has been.

And any form of uncertainty is definitely unsettling.

And I guess I'm not the only one feeling this way. seekiat was talking to me about this a couple of days ago, and I guess we're kind of on the same page with regards to this. I told him for the past 2 years, we focused so much energy on counting down to our ORD, and on bitching about our current state, that we didn't spend enough energy on worrying about what to do after ORD.

That's not to say we don't have plans after ORD, I'm sure we all have holidays planned, and a rough idea what jobs we are seeking and what we are going to study. It's just that we didn't devote too much of our energy on mentally preparing ourselves for life after ORD. 2 years of communal living and having no control over your life is very very different from 2 years in JC. I guess any transition is not going to be easy.

With all that being said, I still look forward to ORD, and I'm definitely happy about it.

But before that, I just need to get used to the idea of holding a pink ic rather than a green one.

And get used to not having the extremely annoying yet wonderfully entertaining and amazing platoon around me 24/7.

I told shanglong (MEOW!) that I would devote an entry in this space to all the people that mattered to me in the 1.5 years in mhc, citing an encounter or experience that I share with each of them that I found most memorable. I actually kind of have the list in mind already, just waiting for a better time to post it.

Upcoming Movies

2009-08-25T20:24:00.000+08:00

//Upcoming Movies//

Just checked the Cathay website and found out the date of release for some of the movies I wanted to watch...

Moon

Date of release: 27 August 2009 (that's like...this thursday!!!)
Comments: This show looks really really promising! Kind of reminds me of "Sunshine" which turns out to be a disappointment, but I have a feeling this will be good. So...any takers?!

Julie & Julia

Date of release: 16th Oct 2009
Comments: Finally the date is released! Like I said before, this looks light-hearted but not too fluffy.

Calculations

2009-07-28T19:26:00.007+08:00

//Calculations//

I went to the kitchen just now to get a drink, and my mum and dad happened to be there. Apparently, they were in a heated debate over some money issues (more of issues with counting the money). So they decided to engage my help.

The conversation went something like that (after translation):

Mum: Xiang ah, I ask you hor, if I bought 12 packs of XXX (i really cannot remember what was the thing she bought), and it costs $132, and now I want to find out how each pack cost, do I divide 132 with 12 or divide 12 with 132?

*me give stunned look, turned to my dad

Me (to my dad): What do you think?

Dad: That's why we are asking you right, we can't figure it out!

*me give even more stunned look

Me: Please la, this is primary school maths.

Mum: So which one is it?!?!

Me: 132 divide by 12 la! For 2 people who are so good at managing their own finance, I'm appalled you 2 can't figure this out.

Dad: Aiya, sometimes it just don't click the right way.

On a separate note, been teaching quite a few students lately. Spending time with JC students, going through JC syllabus and so on, made me feel rather...old. I mean, whenever I see students in uniform, it just brings back memories of my school days, which honestly speaking, didn't feel that distant and long ago, Especially with the recent surge in meet-ups with JC classmates and friends. But whenever during lesson, somehow they all manage to make me feel like I'm some old man, who knows everything about the JC curriculum at the back of my hand.

Love is over
请你不要再说明
过去就像流云
随风飘去无踪影
-欧阳菲菲 (逝去的爱)

It's not quite the feeling of growing up (or older) that makes me feel uneasy. It's the sense of time that is slipping away so rapidly that intimidates me. Just like what the lyrics say, "过去就像流云, 随风飘去无踪影". And it's ever so hard to live in the moment and truly say that I've lived it to the fullest.

Anyway, as fast as time may seem to slip away, ORD date don't seem to be approaching fast enough. Only 4 more months to ORD, but the obstacle that lies between me and my ORD just keeps growing. Well, but to be slightly cliche, "ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley low enough, ain't no river wide enough, to keep me from getting to you". Of course that would literally mean there are tonnes of mountain to climb and river to cross before I can get to my ORD.

Heaven help us all.

Restless

2009-06-20T12:59:00.004+08:00

//Restless//

Been feeling rather restless the past week.

There were a lot of down time in camp last week...and I love free time for me to nua...but I just keep feeling very restless...

I mean I have things to do. I can make use of the time to prepare for tuition, read a book, read some newspaper, or even sleep! But I just don't feel like doing anything at all. I just don't feel motivated to do ANYTHING, not even sleep. It was so bad to the extent that see kiat has to give me advice on how to take a nap in the afternoon. "Close your eyes and focus all your energy on falling asleep". How ironic.

So when it's finally time to bookout, I was esctatic. But it turns out I'm not faring much better at home than when I'm in camp. I feel equally empty.

"Hopeless emptiness. Now you've said it. Plenty of people are onto the emptiness, but it takes real guts to see the hopelessness."
- Josh Givings (Revolutionary Road)

It's the sense of my life eroding away, and there's nothing I can do about it that scares me. I think for the first time in my 1.5 years in ns so far, the lack of purpose of it all is finally getting to me big time. I'm getting better at my job, but the better I get, the more meaningless it seems. I mean I always felt that what I was doing was meaningless, but I guess it's just becoming more and more apparent with time, and there's not a damn thing I can do except to wait for the day to come.

You got me begging you for mercy
Why won't you release me
- Duffy (Mercy)

I was looking through my friend's photos (taken while on overseas trip) on facebook...and I realised how badly I need a break. I think we all need one, we all deserve a good break from all these nonsense. Sadly, given the circumstance, leaves/offs don't seem to be an option at the moment. I guess I just have to make do.

Maybe it's the photos of the nice beaches, beautiful scenary...I really want to be close to nature (not in a sbo, camou on kind of way of cause). And since overseas leave is not possible now, I decide I will just settle for the tree-top walk! Ever since I went to that area for some navex exercise in Feb, I've been wanting to try out the tree-top walk.

Tree-top walk follows by a nice picnic at some scenic location. Sounds lovely doesn't it? So I smsed terence and cheng about my idea. I was greeted with a "you need a life" and "when when?" response. No prize for guessing who said what.

I guess at the end of the day, it's just one of those mood swings I have. My mood swings is like the cyclical nature of the business cycle. A sine curve. And I happen to be at the bottom at the moment.

I think I shall go run now.

The Time Traveller's Wife

2009-06-19T18:36:00.003+08:00

//The Time Traveller's Wife//

Just to add on to the list...

Date of release: Unknown
Comments: I just hope this movie doesn't end up like most movies adapted from books, which usually end up being disappointment.

Movies 2009

2009-06-13T16:53:00.015+08:00

//Movies 2009//

Looking at the left side column, you would realise that I've only watched 4 movies so far this year (of which, one isn't even watched in the cinema), and it's already june!

So I decided to take note of some upcoming movies that I'm going to watch when it comes out later this year...

Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince

Date of release: 16 July 2009
Comments: I shouldn't have problem finding people to watch this with me...but..well..I couldn't find anyone to watch Angels & Demons with me...so I better start finding people...like now.

Up

Date of release: 6th August 2009
Comments: I usually love Pixar animated movies. "Cars" & "Ratatouille" were my favourite movies in 2006 and 2007 respectively. "Wall.e" in 2008 wasn't bad either, so I definitely have high hopes for this.

The Proposal

Date of release: 20th August 2009
Comments: Looks funny enough from the trailer, and I always love light-hearted movies. But if I can't find people to watch this with me, I guess I won't mind watching it on the comp either.

My Sister's Keeper

Date of release: Unknown
Comments: Seems emo enough, and to most, probably boring bah. I guess whether I watch this in the cinema depends on when it comes out, if it's a season with no movies to watch at all, I may very well catch it in the theatres alone, if not, it's another one of those movies that I will enjoy from the comforts of my room.

Shutter Island

Date of release: Unknown
Comments: Definitely intriguing, the trailer kind of reminds me of "V for Vendetta", "Lost" & "Harper's Island" all mixed into one. Any takers for this?

Julie & Julia

Date of release: Unknown
Comments: This seems light-hearted without being too cliche and corny. Meryl Streep is a definite plus point to watch this too. I think I can already guess who would be interested in this movie.

New York, I Love You

Date of release: Unknown
Comments: Looks promising, but probably not worth the 10 bucks bah.

500 Days Of Summer

Date of release: Unknown
Comments: Reminds me of the movie "Amelie", only a bit less artsy. The concept of jumping around the 500 days should be interesting in this movie. I think I would want to catch this in the theatres.

The Ugly Truth

Date of release: Unknown
Comments: Light-hearted yes, but seems a bit too fluffy, so not sure too if it's worth the $$$ to catch it in the theatres. I guess timing of when this movie comes out is important too.

Jurong Island

2009-05-31T22:22:00.005+08:00

//Jurong Island//

As my 3 week driving stint in jurong island is nearing an end...there are some things I feel like I have to record it down here...

1) I hate to make small talks
Having drove for both bravo and charlie, I must say that being stuck in a small little confined space with someone you barely know for 3 patrols per duty, 1 hour+ for each patrol (it almost feels a little too clastrophobic for me) is NOT FUN at all.

With some luck, I may get a vehicle with the aircon working (which is extremely important for day shifts). However, that's as good as it can get. Because other than enjoying the aircon, the rest of the 3 hours+..is just filled with awkward silence.

Let's be real, how long can a conversation with someone you barely know last?

It usually goes like this...first, we will talk about the past. We will find out each other's name and school. Then the topic will turn to which BMT company we were from, and that's where we start dropping names, like "oh you know so and so? he's from your company/school!" And if we are fortunate enough, we would have some common friends, whom we can talk about in order to prolong this awkward agony.

So after talking about our past, we would proceed to talk about the present! Questions like "what platoon you are from" will pop up. And once it's revealed that I'm from signal platoon, the first thing they will all ask is "oh..so what you all do" (it's so so standard that I think I repeated the same answer at least 6 times already) This is the point where I will proceed to try to make the conversation more interesting by bitching about my ex-PC (whom none of them know) and share the story of how my entire platoon is being dragged to this shithole (I think I repeated this story at least 4 times). Then since they ask what we do, of course I will briefly explain our jobscope, and naturally, after they find out XX is my boss (where XX = mr.seagull), the first question they always ask is "is he f-ed up". This is where all the juicy stories (well not exactly juicy...but exciting to a certain extent for them I guess) about our respective bosses will come out, like how YY hates to camou, how ZZ makes his signaller fills his water bottle, how QQ just throw the handset into the tall grasses and expect his signaller to find it...

Once both of us finished sharing stories (actually it's usually me), we will proceed to talk about the future! What school are you going, what are you studying. I dread this part the most. Cause there's NOTHING to talk about. Not that there's nothing to talk about, but I don't see a point in sharing my whole story of getting a place in UCL but not getting a scholarship with them, so my answer always end up being one line "NUS, studying business and communications".

So after all this, about half an hour would have elapsed. Then random questions that I hate the most will start appearing periodically for the next 2.5 hours or so. One that I hate particularly is "What do you do when you book out?" I mean what am I supposed to answer? Erm, I eat, I sleep, I go out with friends? "To do what" will be their response to my answer of going out with friends, and I would end up answering "erm...to eat lo." So it just makes the whole situation even more awkward. I guess I'm just a boring person and bad conservationalist, so asking this question is like the kiss of death seriously.

However, thank god...for most of them, they will just start to fall asleep when conversation runs dry...

Well, looking on the bright side, at least now I totally have no problems with driving and talking at the same time. I'm horrible at multi-tasking...so this is a big improvement for me!

2) I learnt how to change tyres
Not that I don't know how to change, I always knew how to change a tyre...the steps that is, but I never quite had to change my own tyres. So unfortunately (or fortunately), my virgin tyre changing experience had to be on jurong island. Well to be fair, I probably did like 20-30% of the work, ian gan did the rest...well but no one can beat joshua's record of changing tyres 3 times in that 1 day.

3) Always remember to bring the fuel card when you go to top-up.
It's super embarassing when I went to top up fuel for my vehicle with bravo csm , only to realise at the petrol station that I left the fuel card in the bunk. Thank god he looked more amused than pissed when I told him I forgot to bring the card.

4) Jurong Island is pretty at night.
I think I mentioned this before, but it's actually really quite pretty at night. It reminds me of Atlantis in the show "Stargate Atlantis". But of course it's prettier when I was on fam course, cause back then, I don't need to drive. Now, when I'm doing day shift, I would be too busy with trying to get back to the base as soon as possible after my duty ends to really look around, and when I'm doing night shift, I would be too sleepy while driving to appreciate the beauty around. And of course it comes with extremely bad air (central sector really stinks!), and it's so bad that when I wipe my face with a wet tissue, you see black stains.

5) Charlie is really a heaven in this hell that we are in.
To quote myself "don't you just love charlie?"

6) Dogs can run as fast as a military vehicle.
Serious. I'm not joking. Are the dogs fast or are the military vehicles slow?

Anyway, I'm kind of dreading going back. I call it the post-out-of-shithole-for-too-long syndrome. After you leave a shitty place for some time, going back to that same place will make it seem exceptionally shitty. And everytime I return to that place after a period of absence, I am ALWAYS greeted with guard duty...weekend guard duty somemore. And this time even more power, sunday guard duty 3 days after I return, and a 4 days outfield 1 day after that guard duty.

Moving On

2009-04-25T20:58:00.004+08:00

//Moving On//

Heard from Jeremy that our corps didn't do too well for the zone competition this year. In fact "didn't do too well" is a bit of an understatement, the results are actually quite absymal.

What kind of bothered me is not fact that they lost, but the fact that I didn't actually feel much upon hearing this news. I wasn't particularly sad or pissed over the loss. The first thing that went through my mind was "oh really huh? ok lo".

And that bothered me.

I mean afterall, st john more or less defined my entire 4 years of secondary school life. It's not that I had bad relationships with my secondary classmates or what, but the rapport is just not there as compared to my squadmates. We went through so much together, that it's kind of hard not to have a bond.

And it's not just that, it's also about all the effort we put in over the years. When we entered the corps in sec 1, it wasn't exactly in a very good shape to start with. And bit by bit, we contributed, from simple things like donation cards, flag day, public duties to the actual training itself. The national competition that we trained so so hard for, sacrificing recess to do drills, the whole of saturday to do cases, doing CPR over and over again, yet screwing up pretty badly on the actual day itself though we still managed to get back into the top 3 position for AA in nat comp, which we had not been able to for a long time. That feeling is something I will never forget.

And with that, we took over as NCOs, and that 1 year as a CSM really taught me more than I could have ever imagined. I dare say we did a pretty good job in maintaining the standards.

"train ur juniors well and hard, for it's far more satisfactory bringing ur juniors all the way than being the juniors who went all the way"
- sijie

And that was exactly how I felt when yik hang's team won the champ for the first time in nat comp. The victory may not be mine, but the gratification I get from knowing that the effort I put in in training them paid off far outweighs that for me. At least I know that the changes we implemented, especially in the way we train them for competition, was effective.

So we left a pretty strong corps behind as we pass out to our juniors.

And even after we left, they have been doing relatively well. So by right, it should hurt to know that they did really bad the last 2 years.

But sadly it just doesn't bother me that much anymore.

2 years ago, in July 2007, in the chem lab, while doing a prac which involves heating a test tube (which cracked by the way cause I put it in the flame for too long), I told myself it's time to move on. I still remember I was very emo that day (haha..I was reading an old entry), over my involvement with the corps. I guess I just feel like everything's moving so fast, and I am still not ready to let go of it all. I still wanna go back to kaypoh during their training, I still wanna feel like I'm part of it but the sad fact is it's just not possible. So I was emo-ing to pauline (my sai gung chem lab partner), and that was when I concluded, I just have to learn to move on, though at that time I didn't know how long it will take, or if I can really let go at all.

Now I guess I can confidently say I suceeded.

People in the corps come and leave, it keeps changing, but your squadmates never change, they are always there for you."
- pauline a.k.a my sai gung chem lab partner

There's this sudden urge to organise a squad outing. At least I hope when it comes to my squadmates, there's no such thing as "moving on".

One Step At A Time

2009-04-02T23:47:00.002+08:00

//One Step At A Time//

One step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly
Or falling in love
- Jordin Sparks (One step at a time)

Well, I don't really know this song, but this few lines was kind of what kept me going in brunei.

I mean, I was literally taking it one step at a time, especially for those insane up slope with nothing to grip on to, I just keep telling myself "one step at a time...there's no need to rush..." and just slowly went up...step by step.

The 2 weeks...it's hard to describe what I just went through. It was definitely physically demanding...but at least it wasn't as mentally torturous as wallaby which seems never ending. Other than pushing me to my physical limits, this 2 week experience allowed me to see some people in different light...from our platoon...from other companies...some of my commanders...and yea...some good some bad I must say (although nothing can be as drastic as stealing milo)

Special mention to wenqin and sgt seah for making it through the alpha experience tgt with me...I was glad to have spent some quality maggie mee cooking time with both of them...nomad for wenqin (i will never forget the 8 knolls we climbed...7 wonders can kiss our ass!)...and mt biang with sgt seah (i will also remember the failed campfire we tried to build).

Looking at the trainining programme coming up...can't help me feel a bit..helpless...like how I felt when I first came back from wallaby. But I guess if the 2 weeks in brunei taught me anything..it is to take things one step at a time...so for now..i shall just enjoy my offs...

Double-deck 151

2009-03-14T15:18:00.003+08:00

//Double-deck 151//

For everyone who knew me from school would know that I have a love-hate relationship with the bus, 151, I took everyday back when I was in hwa chong for 6 years.

Love it cause it's fast (the actual bus ride itself is around 30 mins, which is very fast considering I live in hougang), and generally empty most of the time. There was even once on a Sunday morning (when I was going to teach tuition) where I had the entire bus to myself.

Hate it cause the frequency is low (somtimes almost 2-3 buses of all the other bus numbers came and not a single 151 is in sight), it's lau pok (I think about 50% of the 151 buses are non air-con, there was once where I took non air-con buses back home every single day for almost 1 full month) and the drivers generally suck, cause when there's long queue for the buses at the bus stop, the drivers would automatically assume there's no one taking 151 and zooom off. I even wrote an entry about it b4 (Jan 2007...scroll down to the entry on "Flag the bus early campaign)

Yesterday, I had to go back to school to settle some scholarship application stuff, and naturally I took 151. When this double deck bus approached, I naturally assumed it's not 151 since there's no double deck 151. But surprise surprise, it's 151!! *gasp*

NEW PRODUCT!

I got so excited sitting in this air-con, double deck 151 that I smsed lots of people to express my joy. It's almost like seeing your kids grow up into amazing human beings. HAHA!

下个星期去英国

2009-03-08T02:55:00.004+08:00

//下个星期去英国//

你收了行李下个星期要去英国
遥远的故事记得带回来给我
我知道我想要却又不敢对你说
因为我已改变太多

你改了一个名字也准备换工作
你开始了新的恋情有一些困惑
我知道你想要却又不敢对我说
因为你已改变太多

你写了好几首属於你的歌
这样的歌隐藏了太多苦涩
我知道你想要却又不敢对我说
因为我曾是你
我曾是你无话不说的朋友

因为我们改变太多

I totally melted after listening to her sing live. There's just such honesty in her voice, and such honesty in the lyrics of this song. Simple, yet so true.

I also want to 下个星期去英国...

p.s thanks to ever for the free tickets, chen qi zhen made the whole night so so worth it...esp the few lines of 鱼...

Essay

2009-02-23T08:27:00.002+08:00

//Essay//

Seriously...writing this essay is such a pain in the ass...so much so that I can't even produce more than 1 paragraph a week, and mind you, it's not even good stuff, it's just random thoughts that came to my mind which may not even be relevant.

And the deadline's loooooming.

I wonder what's worse, 16km route march + outfield or this essay.

Fed Up

2009-02-15T00:03:00.002+08:00

//Fed Up//

Totally fed up with writing this stupid essay.

Argh.

Like A Star

2009-02-13T15:09:00.005+08:00

//Like A Star//

1. Put your iTunes/Napster/Zune Player/WinAmp/etc on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 10 or more friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got it from.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Jay Chou - 稻香

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Leona Lewis - Run

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Tanya Chua - 深信不疑

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Duffy - Syrup & Honey
-_-??

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Gigi Leung - 沉迷
LOL

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Kelly Clarkson - Irvine

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Amos Lee - Colours

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
锦绣二重唱 - 我的快乐

WHAT IS 2+2?
Jason Mraz - I'm Yours

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Faye Wong - 开到荼靡

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Duffy - Mercy

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
轻松玩乐团 - 看清

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
卢广仲 - 100种生活
Sounds fun!!!

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Kelly Clarkson - Up To The Mountain
Wooo...KINKY!

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
许茹芸 & 阿穆隆 - 男人女人
NOOOO!!!

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
薛岳 - 灼热的生命
More like a song for funeral bah?

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Tanya Chua - The Blower's Daughter

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
陈珊妮 - 尼可拉斯
This one is dedicated to all the Nicholas-es I know.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Tanya Chua - 越来越不懂
HAHA!

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Eason Chen - 爱情转移

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
KT Tunstall - Throw Me A Rope
HAHA! How apt.

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Coco Lee & 柯以敏 - 她在睡前哭泣

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
陈珊妮 - 来不及
No lor, this song makes me cry.

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Jay Chou - 说好的幸福呢

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Britney Spears - Womanizer
Apparently, the answer is clear.

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
杨乃文 - 今天清晨

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
轻松玩乐团 - 忘了

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
KT Tunstall - Other Side Of The World

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
黄耀明 - 春光乍泄

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Corinne Bailey Rae - Like A Star

ORD

2009-02-07T19:33:00.002+08:00

//ORD//

It's been quite a long while since I last posted here.

And surprise surprise, I'm going to blog about my NS life again!

And even more surprises, for once, I'm not going to whine about my NS life! Really 新年进步!!

I remember back in Nov last year, when most of my coy's commanders ORD-ed... I felt...so so jealous...to see so many people ord-ing...and you're not one of them. True, they have served their 2 years, but still, it sucks to be stuck in a place you don't wanna be at and seeing people leaving just makes it worse. So yes, I had a pretty a bad week back then.

And just yesterday, there was a ORD parade for the ORD-ing personnels in Feb/Mar period. I seriously thought I would be feeling damn moody about it and all, esp since that would mean yet another late bookout on a friday night since signal's always arrowed to do PA system. I was at the post-parade dinner at the cookhouse, and to be honest, the whole dinner, with all the videos, songs etc...kind of made me wonder what my own ORD will be like.

I mean of course we ALL look forward to ORD, to the day we finally get our pink IC, the day we are finally free. But yesterday night, as I watched all of them...crowding around..singing 'Seasons in the sun" together, I really felt a tinge of sadness. It's one of those fleeting moments of sadness...like those you feel at a graduation ceremony, on the last day in school and so on.

And yes, I admit, for that split moment, I don't wanna ORD.

I mean...afterall...after 1.5 years of living together...bitching together...rolling eyes together...and enduring all the nonsense...I don't dare say we are very very close or what...but it's my life now..and they are such a big part of it... so it's not gonna be easy to just leave like that...emotionally that is. So yea...for that split moment, I didn't want to go.

Luckily it was only for that split moment. Cause all the other crap and reasons why we all wanna ORD so badly started flooding into my mind, and I was convinved that yes, ORD is the solution to all problems.

Enough of NS stuff, went to shuying and sylvia's house to 拜年 last weekend. It's so so good to see friends that I haven't met up with for so long. And yes, my post-ORD overseas trip has been confirmed! At least the date has been more or less settled...17th dec to 27th dec...with the TIP people...maybe going Taiwan or anywhere else where we can just go free and easy...Something to look forward to after ORD!

2009-01-04T18:44:00.001+08:00

Blessed be that quill you wield in your hand
Seek that enchanter, Orim, who dwells amongst the mountains of Chixpar
There the journey might be perilous, dangerous and spiritbreaking
But go shall you still, knowing that Luna, She the Mother of poets and stanzas shall guide you in your quest

- Hui Chi Weng

Lol.

The Many Quotes Of Iven Peh

2009-01-02T00:23:00.004+08:00

//The Many Quotes Of Iven Peh//

I know I probably shouldn't waste my first entry of 2009 on this, but I've been wanting to blog this for quite some time, and I really don't feel like sitting down and writing a long boring piece on my crappy 2008, or on how I fell into a drain during my 12 km route march, or abt the XXX of the year awards for my platoon (which I've been wanting to blog about fora long time too)...or the farewell dinner we had for PS today...or the new year countdown meet up with the TIP people....

Yea...there's quite some stuff I wanna blog about...

But I'm just lazy...so this will do...cause it's short...

Iven peh sze kiat! This entry is dedicated to you!

Quote 1
Wesley: Iven peh! I thought you said you were very full already? (after seeing iven peh take a piece of KFC chicken)

Iven Peh: Yea I am! But I just felt my baby kicked!

Quote 2
Zhong Hao: Iven peh! When are you going to return me my money? (notice how people always 'iven peh!' him before saying anything)

Iven Peh: Ok ok, I will go draw money now and return you since you have a big butt.

Quote 3:
Iven Peh: Don't you think this looks damn sexy? (he was eating this pink nonya kueh)

Me: Yea! You should take a photo with it!

Iven Peh: Cannot la! Sexy and sexy clash, then it's not so sexy anymore.

His quotes are always so so random and so not funny that it became funny. And he's like a random quote generator, at the rate I'm blogging, I can end off all my entries with at least 1 Iven peh quote for the rest of the year.

Seriously iven peh, you win.

Think Big

2008-12-21T19:42:00.003+08:00

//Think Big//

That was our (as in me, terence and cheng) priceless gift for Jeremy for his commissioning parade.

It sure attracted a lot of attention when we transported it from Marina Square all the way to Bishan and subsequently to Safti.

But yea, THINK BIG! MAKE IT HAPPEN! (that's the quote after 'Think Big' but it's not captured in this photo).

And I did. I actually did something today that I never thought I would ever dare try. And surprisely, it didn't go too badly. Not that I harbour any hope of advancing, but I really thought it would be much worse. At least now I know how it feels like, and I'm just very very glad that I achieve my goal of not screwing up totally.

On a different note, I think we all have our own breaking point, where you just give up pretending to be fine with things and just let it all out, and what happened last fri really pushed a lot of my platoon mates close to that point. I have never seen some of them so agitated, irritated, annoyed and most importantly, bitch non stop for so long.

And I love how we were all like "GO!!! QUICKLY CHANGE AND GO BEFORE THEY MAKE YOU DO SAIGANG!" to every single one who is changing into bookout attire cause they were given permission to book out earlier. To quote chin slut, "better one less person suffering than we all suffer tgt."

Weddings

2008-12-12T20:42:00.003+08:00

//Weddings//

I don't like wedding dinner/lunch.

Especially weddings of relatives you hardly know. I just went for my cousin's wedding lunch last monday and it just reaffirm my dislike for wedding dinners and lunch and whatsoever.

I mean I show up, I see all my relatives that I don't really know, and we pretend to show a lot of interests in each other's life. How nice is that. Ok, maybe I shouldn't say we pretend to care about each other, maybe they do care, and perhaps I really do care too, but seriously our so called 'care for each other' will only last for that few hours or so.

And yes, I know my parents are right, I should probably try a little harder to maintain a relationship, especially with my cousins around my age, but I am a firm believer that if we don't click, we just don't. I mean with most of them, it's like we live in totally different worlds, and if you wanna look at it from a signaller pov, it's like 2 people trying very hard to press the PTT button and establishing comms with each other, but the frequency is different, so no matter how hard one tries, no comms will be through, not even any form of interference or noise.

Anyway back to wedding, I mean it's really sweet that 2 people wanna commit to each other and spend the rest of their lives with each other, but is there really a need to spend so much on a wedding? It feels as though most people are just going through the motion of it all.

To be honest, I haven't really been to a wedding where the bride and groom looks truly happy. I mean I don't know, but to me, it's often a lot of forced smiles and laughter. I mean maybe I'm a cynic, but can you imagine having to put a smile on your face the entire night, going from table to table to take photographs with all your guests (most of which you may not even know) then at the end of it, stand there and shake hands with everyone? Sounds more like a chore to me.

Watched "27 Dresses" lately, which is about wedding, in a way, bridesmaid to be exact. It's actually quite an enjoyable watch, a feel-good movie I would say. Cliche, totally predictable, but still it makes you feel good.

On a seperate note, I went back to school today!

I was there to get my certs certified true, and I was waiting to pass meng his phone so I had about 1 hour plus to kill.

It's always so so nice to be walking around in that compound, everything is so familiar, almost like I never left. And I even went back to all my classrooms from sec 1 to 4...too bad they were mostly locked, but I did manage to get into the 4A classroom in the clock tower. It just feels so...liberating, to be back in a familiar place, especially on a beautiful friday afternoon (when I'm usually in camp). It's a wonder how simple infrastructure, buildings, places can bring back so much memories. Almost every single inch of the school that I walked by today brought a scene or two that's deepyl etched in my mind.

The school's pretty empty since it's the school holidays but there's always students around, and I have this strong urge to go up to them, and tell them to have fun, to really really enjoy their time in the school, and to just treasure every single moment, cause it's probably one of the best times of my life.

And chinese high's really beautiful, not that I never realised this before. I was so pissed that I didn't bring my camera phone along today, especially when I'm staring out from the balcony in the clock tower. But nevermind, I had some photos of the school taken by zhiqun when he came over to singapore for tip in 06...

You know, there's so much I wanna say, and now is just one of those times where words fail me, I'm completely at a loss of words. It's just amazing, and it's totally different from going back to school to collect a lvl results, or for maf or whatsoever, where there's so many people and so on. Today's just another quiet day in hwa chong, and it's just as beautiful as ever.

This trip back to school really kind of revitalised me in a major way, especially considering the crappy past few weeks I had. And it's nice to just look back on the life I had, especially since I've been so so caught up with my future lately with all the uni and scholarship application and what nots. It's like a breather I guess. I'm just so glad i went back.

It's beautiful isn't it? And mind you, it's a photograph taken by zhiqun, not some photoshop-edited photos koped from the official website.

Looking down from level 2 of the clock tower...

There are times where your camera fails you, and this is one of the instance. The view at the balcony from the clock tower is really quite spectacular but there's only so much the camera can capture...

Si Yuan Fang...

Really Random Entry

2008-12-07T21:46:00.000+08:00

//Really Random Entry//

Just some random thoughts that popped into my mind recently...

I realised it's much easier to write about negative things than positive ones...ask me to bash my unit, I can basically just vomit out everything...ask me to write about some positive qualities of myself for my personal statement, I'm totally stuck.

Speaking of personal statement, it's taking up WAY too much of my precious weekend time.

And yes, my unit, "XXXX, where shit happens everyday!" (where XXXX = name of my unit), that's the new motto my platoon mate came up for my unit. How apt.

Prom!! Not my prom of course, but facebook is totally flooded with prom photos for this year... my prom seems so so distant...

And end of prom = enlistment for my juniors coming really soon (for those in ptp tt is)...which also means my 1 year enlistment anniversary/1 year to ORD is coming real soon too...gonna celebrate with a watermelon soya bean from Mr Bean and an apple pie from MacDonalds when I booked out for my BTT on 15th dec...

Can't wait to see the emo facebook's status/msn nicks of my juniors after they enlist..haha...I feel so evil...22/24 more months for them! hahahah...

And I wanna go for a holiday so bad! And the new season of Heroes is so bad!

Tolerance Level

2008-11-29T15:43:00.000+08:00

//Tolerance Level//

I actually have a personal statement for ucas to work on, but this is something that has been bugging me for the past 2 weeks...so the personal statement..shall wait.

I always thought I'm a pretty tolerant person. I admit I do get annoyed easily but I do believe I always managed to keep it to myself, and more often than not, resolve issues internally.

Well, that was till I came to where I am right now.

You would think that in the organisation that I'm in right now, with all the nonsense going on, one would feel numb after a while, but apparently not. Almost 1 year in, instead of getting used to the life of a national slave, I find myself getting more and more annoyed with it. And yes, I get annoyed very very easily nowadays too, and it's not hard to imagine why given the nonsense we have to endure. If even someone as zen and as calm as joshua cannot take it, I cannot even imagine how some of my platoon mates or me for that matter of fact got through it. They basically just pushed me right past my tolerance threshold and a lot of times, I just feel like inflicting physical harm on certain people.

Yes, bitching and whinning helped, but all that does for us is just to allow us to vent our frustrations together because at the end of the day the negativity aura is still so strong and it's still there.

So yes, I resorted to eating. Ok, maybe that's probably too mild a word. Gorging on food seems more appropriate. At least I feel like there's still something good in life (in there that is) when I'm gorging on food.

And the worst part is I'm not even talking about the physical stuff they made us do. Like having 7 SOCs in 12 days (or 10 SOCs in fact, since we basically did 4 x SOC today during RT), and all the AGR, strength training, speed training, coy PT etc.

All those stuff, I can understand why we are doing it, and at the end of the day, we do gain from it, though I have to say it can get rather inhumane at times (like 4 SOC trainings in 1 week?!).

I'm talking about nonsensical stuff that we were made to do thanks to the total incapabilities of certain individuals, which I won't even bother to elaborate because it just makes me feel even more sad.

And yes, some of the nonsensical stuff we were made to do may seem trivial to some and not really a big deal, but what's upsetting me the most is that there seems to be no end. History just keeps repeating itself, and nonsense just happens on a regular basis. It's almost like nonsense is part and parcel of my life in that shit hole right now. When there's finally time for some rest, shit will happen without fail. Like terence said, we are pawns afterall.

It has gotten to a point, where I just stop wishing and hoping. There's no need to wish for anything or hope that life will get better, cause it just won't. They have drained all the optimism I have left in me in the past 2 weeks.

There's no point saying 'hang in there' or 'i'll survive!' cause I know I won't die in there, I'll just be annoyed to no end and live miserably for my remaining 380 days.

3 Shooting Stars, 6 Kangaroos, 1 Wonderful Platoon

2008-11-08T23:42:00.000+08:00

//3 Shooting Stars, 6 Kangaroos, 1 Wonderful Platoon//

Ok, that's a disgusting title.

I wanted to blog about my experience in australia, but I just couldn't overcome the inertia to actually do something about it, which is kind of the story of my life. I'm simply too lazy to start to do anything.

But seeing that I've nothing to do now, and I'm sitting in front of my comp, so why not? Just a little on my 20+ days there.

I remember someone asked us what have we learnt from the trip so far (while we were still there that is), and I remember I answered "nothing much actually" then. And now that it's over, I guess the answer is still the same.

I mean honestly speaking, I really don't think I've made any amazing discoveries about myself through this trip, other than the fact that I can eat 3 green packs (+ 1 dessert pack) for dinner (yes, even I'm amazed, but you must take into account I didn't eat lunch that day), and that 'Red Bean Dumpling [with chicken]' is probably the best green pack.

Hardly ground-breaking or earth-shattering discoveries in my opinion.

Maybe the training did not push me to my physical and mental limits, although I do have to admit certain walks are definitely tiring, but thinking back, I think we've all been through worst..so yea. And manning comms in the ever so bumpy and noisy jambu is definitely no joke, but I'm still not deaf yet, so I guess it wasn't that bad. I mean even the idiotic behaviour by certain individuals didn't drive me totally insane.

But I guess the main reason why I coped pretty well with everything is cause of my platoon mates.

So we grit teeth, we roll eyes, we bitch stared but we'll never depart. :]
- yap chin slut

I think that pretty much summed up everything.

Even in the worst situations, faced with the worst people we can possibly meet, they always somehow manage to make me feel not so crappy about it. I guess standing together, bitching about the situation, mocking certain individuals, while silently pushing each other on does help a lot.

So if you asked me what I remember about my days there, I would probably say I remember the 3 shooting stars I saw, the 6 wild kangaroos I saw, the starry starry night sky we see every night while manning comms, the long cold night..especially the night where it dropped to 7 degrees and me, kian hong and chi weng were literally cooking noodles and making hot drinks throughout our shift to keep ourselves warm and occupied, and most importantly I remember how we got through this whole 20+ days together.

Of course there's the RnR, which there isn't actually much to talk about, since it was so boring that cam whoring became our main source of entertainment.

On a separate note, those that I've been talking to recently would probably know that I'm kind of in a 'lost' mode with regards to my education choices (which in a way is linked to what I want in life in general), be it choice of university, course or even country, which is what inspired my last entry.

Well, I sort of had an epiphany yesterday. And no, I didn't gain enlightenment under a tree or through meditation or what. It's actually something my mum said (not to me, she was actually talking to my aunts) that ignite something in me that I thought died a while ago.

And no, it doesn't really help me with my decision over my course and university and so on, but at least now I feel like the direction is clearer, I know what I want long term.

Or at least I think I know, because who knows what I will want in 5 years or 1o years time. But the problem is what I want, is kind of in direct conflict with my main few choices of courses in university right now.

Well, but at least there's a starting point for me to work on now, and mingwei is right, I need to start with what I want in the long run in order to decide what I want to study right now.

Ok..enough with that. I'm finally started with the whole 'get-a-civilian-driving-license' quest, I booked my BTT on 15th Dec 2008, which happened to be my 1 year enlistment anniversary. Please..let me book out on that day...

Tree

2008-10-31T14:33:00.001+08:00

//Tree//

Don't you think that this tree (photo taken in australia btw) looks lonely and lost?

Been reading this book called "A Place Called Here" by Cecelia Ahern, which talks about how 'lost' things/people/memories end up in a place called 'Here'. And I admit there are moments I felt like I was 'Here' in the past 3 weeks.

And coincidentally, I watched "Lost In Translation" on my flight there, which is a movie that deals with the issue of being lost in your life too.

Nevermind, shall talk about it another time in another entry.

Now I shall just look forward to my wonderfully packed programmes for the next few days, which happens to be all eating outings! From western to chinese (yumcha high tea buffet!) to thai (lerk thai high tea buffet!) to bbq...there's no way I will not gain weight...

Leave

2008-10-04T00:26:00.001+08:00

//Leave//

踩着月光打开车窗
离开这城市想找个解放
一路开往最高那一座山
孤单的想像寂寞的逃亡
- 孙燕姿 (逃亡)

Sometimes, when life really sucks, and everything's going wrong, you're feeling really down, don't you just feel like running away.

Not that my life really sucks to that point right now, but I must admit it's a thought that creeps into my mind quite frequently, especially recently. I mean, it's tempting isn't it, to stop whatever nonsense you're doing right now, and just leave, to a far far away place, where no one knows you.

The whole idea of leaving just like that is just very..appealing. I think it comes from the thrill of doing something without considering the consequences, which is in a way reckless I guess. And for someone like me who always thinks too much, consider so many factors before making a simple decision, it's an appealing notion (maybe cause I know I will never ever have the guts to do that).

There has been lots of discussions about post-ord plans recently in the bunk, and there was this particular topic of backpacking being brought up. To be exact, some of my bunkmates were talking about a 6 month long backpacking trip, starting from here all to way to switzerland, using the most basic means of transport like buses and trains.

It sounds crazy, but the very fact that it's crazy makes it so exciting, which probably triggered the whole 'leaving' mood in me.

Speaking of my bunkmates, it's been 2 weeks since my stay-out jeep course ended, which means I've been back at hell-hole for 2 weeks (which felt like eternity). It felt different, the whole vibe in camp, maybe it's cause of the new faces, or maybe I'm just too used to staying out I don't know. But one thing never change, some people (1 in particular) are still as intolerable (to quote my bunkmate) as they were before I left. And yes, one more thing that never change, they still never fail to surprise me with some of the things they do. It's quite a feat if you actually think about it, to keep outdoing yourself and constantly surprising us with your complete lack of common sense.

On a different note, recently (a few days ago in fact) a platoon mate of mine got into an minor accident while clocking mileage on his motorbike. He didn't suffer much serious injuries, but was still hospitalised for further observations. And surprisely, his full body checkup reveals a heart problem (which is not yet determined exactly).

But that's not the point I wanna make.

When I first heard of this news, the first thought that flashes through my mind is "oh my god is it serious? Is he going to be ok??". But that thought probably stayed like for 0.2 seconds or something cause another thought immediately took over "is he still going to go australia? oh my god, he may be able to down pes and get out of here!!"

I know it's kind of cold-blooded to think about down pes-ing and so on, but well, that's not something you can control, and the sad thing is from what I observe, I'm not the only one who think that way.

Most of my platoon mates, upon hearing the news, seemed shocked (that's their initial reaction), then they seemed happy yet worried for him at the same time. Happy that he may get to downpes and leave this hell-hole, but still human enough to worry about how serious the condition is.

Speaks volumes about how great NS is and how wonderful my unit it.

Ok, I should really stop here before I say too much and get myself in trouble. :)

Let's speak about more positive stuff that happen in camp (?!)

Yes, life may be bleak in there, but it's not totally void of positive things. For one, majority of the platoon is a joy to hang out with, and for the past week or so, we've all been so busy with the washing and packing of our stores and stuff into the kitbag.

Packing itself may be a bitch, but the feeling of satisfaction when you finally manage to squeeze every single damn thing inside and zip up the kitbag is sweeeeeet. And like joshua said, it's like doing strength training, cause we needed like 2-3 people to zip up 1 kitbag. And we have to pack everything in and out, in and out for all the inspections and so on. Tiring it may be, it's actually quite funny la, especially when everyone's doing it together, frantically and desperately trying to squeeze everything inside.

So the kitbag's packed and sent.

2 more days before I disappear from the surface of earth.

Wish me luck!

Mr Accident-Prone

2008-09-16T22:09:00.001+08:00

//Mr Accident-Prone//

Yep that's me.

I can't believe I fell down from the Jeep while doing camouflaging. My butt still hurts la!

And after driving the manual jeep for like 20+ days, I actually knock my head today when I try to mount the jeep. I don't know how I did it, but I did.

And if you think that auto jeep's much safer cause there's no door or so on for me to knock into, you're so wrong. My shin hit the vehicle when I try to climb up into it.

And to top it off, the instructor who took me for auto jeep was like "aiyo, you better walk properly, don't fall from jeep, knock head, hit leg anymore" after I told him about my blur cock moments, and I was like "yes sir yes sir" and right at that moment, I step right into a puddle of muddy water.

-_-

Alone

2008-09-15T20:52:00.001+08:00

//Alone//

I was at Heartland Mall eating dinner alone at KFC just now. Don't ask me why I was eating dinner there alone, it's a long long story which involves me exchanging DVD -R for DVD +R at Popular.

But yea, somehow it feels pretty miserable eating dinner alone.

It actually felt lonely.

The funny thing is I was never a person who cannot stand being alone. I crave for solitude in fact. I never had problem with watching movies alone, in fact I've watched quite a number of movies alone before, and I usually find myself enjoying the movie a lot more. The act of watching movies at the theatres, to most people (me included), is just another way to spend time with friends. That's why if I bother to drag my lazy ass to watch a movie alone, I usually find myself a lot more focused on the movie, and enjoying it a lot more.

But yea, discussing the meaning behind watching a movie isn't what I really want to blog about here. As I was saying, I felt lonely, for god knows what reason. And note, I used 'lonely', I didn't say 'alone'. There's a very big difference between the 2.

'Alone' is a lot more neutral, it's very matter of fact. If you are by yourself, you are alone. Like I said, I have no qualms with doing things alone.

'Lonely', on the other hand, deals with an emotional state. You can be surrounded by friends and yet, still feel lonely.

孤单是一个人的狂欢
狂欢是一群人的孤单
- 阿桑 (叶子)

See what I mean? It's kind of interesting, "狂欢是一群人的孤单", I mean we're constantly surrounded by people, by family, by friends, but how many of us don't feel lonely at all. I guess everyone feels lonely to a certain degree no matter how happy he/she may seem.

So I was lonely and bored. When you're lonely and bored, you people-watch. Well, I don't know about you, but I do, as I was eating that is.

And I discover a very disturbing fact. Almost every single person I saw was with someone else. Are we so dependant on human company? Are we like incapable of spending time alone??

I saw this lesbian couple (yes, I'm very sure it's a lesbian couple, or maybe I should say I saw this butch with this girl behaving like a couple). They reminded me of qingyi and ash (and wenqin if you're reading, i'm not talking about the qingyi and ash in our driving course, i was talking abt my jc classmate n her gf).

And I saw 3 srjc students, 1 girl and 2 guys. Totally reminded me of how me, mitch and everlyn would go eat at tiong bahru plaza after our comm serve.

As I went to the toilet, I also saw this 2 jc students (of which one is a very ugly sajc girl, but yea, that's not the point) mugging biology. I can recognise the alpha helix protein structure. Again, I was reminded of how I always mug with ever and wilson almost anywhere there's food, and that scene totally reminded me of the 3 of us mugging at KAP for our final bio MCQ for a lvls.

I also saw this dad with his 2 sons, a married couple with their maid (or maybe it's their maid lookalike daughter), this parent with their 2 kids, 3 PRCs (which I think compromises of 1 couple + 1 girl who's acting as the lightbulb).

So just as I was marvelling at the fact that I'm the only person eating alone in KFC, I suddenly spotted this other guy in executive wear eating alone too! For a moment, I was kind of relieved, at least I'm not the only one alone. But then it suddenly dawned on me that, that's me. That's exactly how I'm going to be like in the future.

Assuming I move out after I get a job in the future, I'm living alone, that's probably how I will settle my dinner every night, eating alone. That guy looked so...miserable. As he's eating his fries, there's no passion, it's almost like he's eating for the sake of eating, he's eating cause if he don't he will starve to death. Ok, I know it sounds a bit over the top, but that's the vibe I got from him. I definitely don't wanna end up like him.

So I came to this conclusion.

I MUST LEARN HOW TO COOOK! At least I would be eating alone at home, and not showing my pathetic self to the rest of the world. Furthermore, think of all the $$$ I can save. So yes, I must learn how to cook!

On a ending note, the driving course is ending like 4 days time. I'm so so going to miss staying out.

MAF

2008-09-07T14:14:00.001+08:00

//MAF//

Ok, I admit, it's been EONS since I last updated my blog.

Stay-out life is pretty good, it felt like I'm back in school, reporting everyday at 7.30 am, going for "practicals" and theory lessons. It felt exactly the same, you know, the anticipation of going home everyday (ok I admit it was more of the anticipation of lessons ending while back in JC, rather than going home), and the sweet feeling of being dismissed at the end of the day. The bus ride home everyday felt the same too, people-watching, stoning, daydreaming...I'm really enjoying all of this.

What I'm not enjoying so much, is the course itself, and to be more exact, driving with the instructor constantly putting you down right beside you. I mean I enjoy driving, I really really do, but the conditions in which I'm driving in, not so much. I know I'm not the best driver around, and that I'm probably a bit more blur than your usual trainee, but to scold me for scratching my ears while driving...it's just unreasonable la. Oh well, I'm getting used to it liao, and just like Qingyi said, we have to learn to shut him out and concentrate on driving, so...oh well. I admit he's a pretty damn good instructor, but sometimes the things he scold...can be so unreasonable...anyway just about 2 more weeks of driving and I would be out of there.

Anyway, I think I've deviated enough, I wanted to talk about MAF.

Pretty lights...

You know, now that I've graduated, MAF suddenly makes more sense. Not that it doesn't for the past 2 years, but well, for the past 2 years, going to MAF is just like another night in school with a bit of songs and mass dance.

It's totally different now, you know I realised that after I've graduated, any excuse or chance to go school is very much appreciated. Like the J1 orientation campfire, and in this case MAF. It's not just about meeting up with your classmates or what, cause it can be very easily arranged outside, a movie, a dinner, or even a surprise birthday party. It's the meeting in school that makes it different.

Sitting at the class bench yesterday and stoning, felt especially nostalgic. It's almost like we never did leave the school. And we realised our juniors are probably busy mugging for their prelims and frantically panicking over A lvls, while we're happily relaxing and chilling at the class bench. What a difference a year made.

It's a pity that it rained just as the song and dance session is about to start, but going to the hall for it isn't that bad too. I think it was the first time I stepped into that hall since the end of A lvls. The last time I was there was probably the last paper of A levels (bio mcq).

Speaking of which, it was great seeing the teachers too! I never realised the reading room was open for students to look for their teachers, well, cause probably we never had to go to the reading room to look for teachers for the past 2 years, since we see them like everyday.

Anyway...I know this will look a bit bimbotic, but yea...haha...

I <3 HC!

S71!

I <3 71!

05 & 06S71

Mood

2008-08-10T17:00:00.000+08:00

//Mood//

I'm not really in the mood to blog these days. I mean it's not that I have nothing to blog about, there are days, or rather moments in camp, where my mind just click and there's so much I wanna express, but once the moment's gone, it's kind of hard to get it back. The emotions and feelings I wanna express at that moment just kind of slip away very fast, and it's very hard to get that some feeling again during weekend when I'm sitting down in front of the comp. So I guess that's why I've been blogging much these days, and even when I do, it's some fluffy stuff.

Just 1 thing before I sign off...there's a high possibilty I would be stuck in camp for the next 3 weeks. 2 weekends burnt cause of outfields, parades and AHM. I feel like I'm going to disappear from the surface of the earth for the next 7 days cause of the upcoming exercise since I would not be contactable at all. Oh well.

Pointless Rambling

2008-07-27T19:10:00.001+08:00

//Pointless Rambling//

Last few weeks...I can't really remember what happened.

I kind of lost track of time.

I remember I had a class outing...like...a week ago? Yea, I think so. Or is it 2? Can't remember.

Nothing major's happening in camp too. Unless you consider the "no-more-fieldpack-while-marching-to-cookhouse" thing major, or the "no-more-stupid-sbo-run-in-the-morning" important...It's great, that we no longer have to do such stupid things, but it's way overdue in my opinion, not that my opinion actually matters.

Oh, I suddenly remember something memorable. We went Sungei Gedong for some infantry motorisation thing. And I bump into cheng twice in a row! Sungei Gedong definitely brought back memories of OVL...though I wished it was Stagmont that we went back to...

Actually, there's really nothing much to talk about. Not that life's miserable or what, but there's just nothing much happening. Even my mind seems to be on hibernation mode these days. Not much intellectual thoughts formulating in my tiny little brain. But generally, I'm happy with status quo, platoon mates have been great (majority of them anyway), and they really made life so much more bearable.

Okay, enough of pointless ramblings.

Time to book in again.

Random

2008-07-07T23:20:00.000+08:00

//Random//

Some random musings before I book in...

Having little metallic things wrap around your teeth is totally not fun. for one, it hurts like hell, which means I can't eat, which makes me feel really really miserable. And it feels damn weird to have things poking out from your teeth, makes me feel like a vampire.

With that being said, I am still kind of looking forward to see myself with the full metallic bracket on...though I must admit I'm not quite looking forward to the even weirder sensation I will feel with everything on.

i guess that's how betty feels??

Moving on...brought 2 books into camp last week. Didn't think I could finish them since I was on leave last Monday, which means I should be in camp only for 4 days, of which 2 days were spent outfield. But surprise surprise, I did...all thanks to the Saturday guard duty.

"Derailed" is properly one of the more exciting books I've read recently, which actually isn't that hard to imagine if you look at the list of books I read recently. I was actually surprised by most of the twists, which was surprising in itself, because in retrospect, the twists are actually quite predictable. But all in all, it's a really enjoyable read.

"Dreaming of Strangers" on the other hand is just -_-. I wished I could say it sucked badly, but I can't. In actual fact, nothing much happened, the story didn't quite take off at all, I mean there wasn't even much of a story to start with. And to add on to nothingness that happened, there were all these weird ridiculous chapters to describe Chris's favourite movies and Becca's weird boyfriends. I thought these chapters would somehow matter in the grand scheme of the plot, I guessed I gave the author too much credit.

On a totally unrelated note (I realised I used this line a lot...), found out some interesting stuff about some of my platoon mates over the past couple of weeks. Shaun Yap (or Seng Onn as I prefer to call him, especially when I come back from SOC) participated in a SMS competition before! It was a totally unproductive friday afternoon, we were all waiting for book out, and I was so bored that I decided to sms Seng Onn even though he was just sitting beside me, and he actually sent me the sms that he was supposed to type in that competition.

He's quite an interesting guy because his personality and his looks totally don't match. For one. he totally doesn't look like he can drive, and no one would ever guessed that he's so so into cars.

Another interesting revealation...chi weng was from lion dance! For someone who can't formulate a proper chinese sentence, lion dance was the last CCA I would expect him to be in.

Just took a look at my Countdown timer, 524 days to ORD.

524 days to freedom.

524 days left to gossip, bitch, sleep, eat with my fabulous bunkmates and platoonmates.

Surprises

2008-06-23T18:19:00.003+08:00

//Surprises//

I must admit my life has been pretty dull these days.

Which is exactly why little surprises never fail to brighten up my day.

And I was really very pleasantly surprised yesterday when I went out with ever, pauline and weixin to sing at some KTV at serangoon gardens. I really didn't even suspect anything when I see weixin coming out of ever's dad's car, or when I see them with plastic bags of stuff...I really thought it was supposed to be some farewell kind of thing for pauline who's going australia...

Ended up it was for me...kind of as a belated birthday surprise kind of thing...they actually prepared this series of mini-tasks for me to complete and gave me 8 "gifts" + a cake...

Ketchap
Apple Pie
Yogurt

Soy Sauce
Iceberg mineral water
Orange juice
Nai (or milk!)
Grape (F&N Grape)

*inserts pic (ever/weixin, if you are reading...send me the photo!!)

Of course they are not so nice to just give me this 8 items. They mixed the ketchap with yogurt and pour it on the apple pie for me to eat, and they actually mixed the 5 things and created this really SIONG (pun intended) drink, and it's oh my disgusting.

The tasks they made me are really funny and stupid, like mass dance (?! who remembers them!!), grab some random girl/guy to sing a duet with (which i manage to siam!), and my fav of all....sing 死了都要爱in the original key! To ever: just cause I made it seem so easy doesn't mean it's easy ok! muahahaha!

Anyway...I was really pleasantly surprised...really thanks to all involved..like I know sylvia came up with some pretty twisted ideas though she wasn't there...thanks!

Speaking of sylvia, I saw her at Taka today! What a surprise! I thought she quit her job there already. And her co-worker/boss actually thought I was her younger brother!! LOL! I guess I must look really young...

On a different note, I donated blood last thur during the blood donation drive in mandai hill camp! Or at least I attempted to.

I was given the painkiller jab, then I was poked with the actual needle with the tube, and it was actually painful (despite everyone else telling me they felt nothing). Blood flowed out slowly. The nurse came, poked the needle further in and start shifting it left and right, which means more pain. 5 mins later, blood is still flowing slowly, I started to get bruises and a swollen lump near the needle.

Then the blood donation was terminated.

THANKS ARH! After poking the needle all over my arm, they terminate it! Then the nurse start pressing the swollen part really hard and violently..attempting to reduce the swelling (is it even the way to reduce swelling?!)

Whatever, this is my first and last time I am going to donate blood.

Anyway, I have been thinking about certain stuff lately...things like my choice of course in university. I guess I am just very easily swayed. I thought I have already convinced myself that the Biz Ad & New Media double degree prog is what I want the most, but apparently...there's still this shadow of doubt in me. But like ever and mingwei said...慢慢想..I have the luxury of time...

Well, in the process of sorting out my thoughts on my options of university courses, the issue of potential careers obviously popped up, and it's just natural that $$ will pop up too...which led me to think further. Like what do I wanna achieve, what do I want ultimately in terms of lodging? Will I be satisfied with HDB? Condo? Where? What car do I want?

I know all these seems really far away...but I can't help but think about it, especially when I am just 1 year away from the big 2 in my age. We all have to start planning about our life sooner or later don't we? I know "life is not a checklist of acquisitions or acheivements"...but we have to admit that when it comes to financial stuff...careful planning is essential and absolutely necessary.

And I was actually quite surprised when I was talking to my dad about it, that he actually had all these plans when he was still quite young, what he wants and how he's going to achieve it. Of course, 人算不如天算...things don't always happened as you planned, but then again when you fail to plan, you plan to fail. (that's so cliche I know...but it's true!)

Ok enough of my rambling.

On an ending note, I'm really proud of my 2 flags on my collar. At least I'm not blindly chionging.

1 month

2008-06-15T18:15:00.001+08:00

//1 month//

Just lost an entry due to IE crashing down on me. Great!

Gist of it...life in Mandai Hill is not as bad as I thought, though there are a hell lot of unpleasant stuff too.

I am 19! Birthday was simple, outing with H4, watched Sex and The City. Rather apt, not cause of the sex or romance, but cause of the friendship between the 4 leads. Just like what I told chee yong, I think my friendship with the 3 of them have more or less passed the test. Just like any romantic relationships, I believe there are various phases to a friendship too, and for the 4 of us. it's more or less in the late stable phases I guess. LTF - Long term friendship. hmm..

Very sian diao by the lost entry. Oh well, will blog again when the mood is there. Have been wanting to blog but there's just not enough time. Oh well.

Happy Fathers' Day by the way.

Choices

2008-05-19T19:39:00.000+08:00

//Choices//

Clinton or Obama?

NTU or NUS?

It's kind of funny how things turned out, considering the fact that I wasn't even thinking about NUS 2 months ago when I applied for university.

I spent days reading about the modules in mass comm for NTU and other courses like NTU biz, etc, and spent a lot of time debating on which course I should put as my first choice and so on. And I finally chose mass comm as my first choice after much delibration.

NUS...the whole application probably took me half an hour (inclusive of reading about the modules in the various courses)...cause..it has always been a backup for me, I knew for sure at that time I wanted either NTU mass comm or NTU biz. So who cares about NUS, I just randomly applied for some courses, and some double degree courses.

Then came the interview, I was asked to go for an interview for the ddp in NUS that I applied for. I mean, I didn't even remember that I applied for some DDP when I signed up for that interview. I was actually thinking "great..bookout!" When I finally remembered that I applied for that DDP, I actually had the mentality of using that interview as an preparation for my mass comm interview in NTU which I deemed more important. So you can probably tell that I totally didn't even try to prepare myself mentally for that interview.

Even when the acceptance letters came for both university, I was so ready to accept mass comm in NTU. But over the past week or so, I've been receiving advices from quite some people, from friends to university prof to even friend's bosses. And I can say they definitely made a very very strong case for NUS's double degree programme.

I mean, I admit, I am more inclined towards NUS now. But still, there are so much to take into consideration and so much holding me back from accepting NUS right now, like is the extra year for the DDP worth it, will I be able to cope with the workload, and most importantly, the fact that NTU mass comm has been my choice since the beginning, made it very hard for me to reject it now. It's like abandoning something you've believed in for so long. At the same time, it's very hard to reject NUS too, since apparently it's very very hard to get into the DDP.

Everyone I've asked have given me some pretty good advice I think, but it's their personal opinion afterall, like a friend actually told me that he believed it doesn't matter what degree one end up with, if that person's good, he/she won't have trouble finding a very decent job (which is one of the reason for rejecting mass comm, cause apparently, job prospects of mass comm graduate is not too promising).

He's not entirely wrong to say that, but does it apply to me? I guess I just have to take in all the advices I received, process them and decide if it applies to me.

NTU's mass comm is like Clinton, more established and experienced and started with more support..but gradually losing support till she finally lags behind. NUS's DDP on the other hand, is like Obama, new (which is always a scary thing), but he managed to win over the supporters gradually and is now leading.

Actually to be honest, I think I've made up my mind. I'm just not committed to my decision 100%. I am still holding on, hoping that maybe between now and 2nd June, there would be some dramatic happenings that would sway me to the other side, just like how Clinton refuses to give up although all odds are against her.

That's just me I guess. Indecisive and can't commit.

On a totally unrelated note, 1SIR, here I come! The fact that I'm going to see familiar faces in a totally unfamiliar environment does comfort me a little, but still, I'm worried like hell. Let's just hope I'm worrying over nothing, and things will turn up fantastic.

佐贺的超级阿嬷

2008-05-13T05:51:00.002+08:00

//佐贺的超级阿嬷//

I know this is waaay overdue, since my signals course ended like a week ago exactly, but still, it's something that I would like to jot down, so that when I do read my older entries in the future, I will actually remember how I felt about the course.

It's really funny cause I was just reading some of my old entries, and there were some entries that really brought me back to the time I was writing it, I actually remembered very very clearly how I felt then and why I wrote what I wrote, but some entries, it just felt like someone else wrote it, and I just feel weird reading it.

Back to my point.

The 6 weeks in stagmont, probably my best 6 weeks in my 24 months in NS? There are lots of things I will miss, like the daily shitting session in the ever so clean CSTH toilets followed by the slacking around at the benches at CSTH while waiting for the PRs to start, or the daily snacking session at level 1 lobby after RO at night (i totally agree with chi weng that Hello Panda is the best snacks on earth), or lazing around in e-plaza waiting for lessons to start.

And it's great to lame around with yenshan, robert and so on, especially on depressing days. They just made the bad days tolerable and the good days even better. I will miss my nickname sluticia (only robert n yenshan calls me that, and since they won't be going 1 sir...it will be kind of lost i guess), which is totally random since I am obviously the least slutty, or rather the only non-slutty one around, especially compared to slutella and sluterina...haha.

I guess this 6 weeks in stagmont is the closest to a student life you will get in NS, which is probably why I enjoyed it so much, which reminds me, god i miss hwa chong!

I take 190 and switch to 151 at raffles town club whenever I book out from stagmont, and I happened to run into 2 HC guys on the bus a few weeks ago, J1 I presume, since one of the guys is from tkd too and he's just a white belt. Made me kind of "school-sick" for a while, especially listening to them talk about tutorials..lecture tests and so on (and no, I did not intentionally listen in to their convo, the bus was so packed and I was standing beside them, so it's inevitable)

I miss stoning at the class bench, playing bridge after school, taking hours to decide where to eat or go, and so much more. I even miss the times I spent mugging for all the exams with my friends at KAP/class bench/SRC/marina square foodcourt (the list is simply too long..haha...i mugged in all parts of singapore).

But yea, things are always better when we look back at them. School life seems so exciting, St John is so full of memories, BMT came and went by so quickly and 6 weeks in stagmont is just so fun. Yea, cause I guess we only remember the good things, we choose to keep the beautiful memories, and throw away all the bad ones.

Like right now, when I look back on my 6 weeks in stagmont, the first things I remember are the good times as mentioned above, the ridiculous behaviour of some scums? Not so much.

Selective memory maybe.

Ok, enough about all this. Right now, I am in some Ops, which is apparently such a big secret that I am not supposed to blog about it. Oh well.

Let just say my job scope now allows me to have even more time to read as compared to my days in stagmont. Which is why I read about 4-5 sets of newspaper daily, and I will finish reading at least 1 book daily. I guess that explains why the list of books I read on the left column has been increasing quite steadily.

I realized the books I have been reading are either bimbotic or bitchy. Like “Fashion Babylon”, it is so bitchy, and it’s basically about sex, booze, drugs, gays, and oh yea fashion. But I can’t deny it’s a nice read since it’s pretty funny, though I am totally not into fashion so I got kind of lost here and there.

"Romantically Challenged" on the other hand, is all about dates, dates and more dates. They are all bad dates though, which made it so hilarious and fun to read.

But the book that really left a deep impression is probably “佐贺的超级阿嬷”. Yes, I am very shocked myself that I actually managed to finish reading 1 chinese book too. Didn’t know I still had it in me.

It’s just one of those books that will make you laugh and cry at the same time, because it’s based on the personal experience of the author, which made it so real, and relatable at times. Seeing how the grandma lives with such optimism despite the bad living conditions is really uplifting, but there are also so many parts that made me feel like crying (but of course I didn’t, it would be too embarrassing since I’m in the bunk while reading)

Some interesting extracts from the book:

阿嬷对于贫穷的看法：
“阿嬷，虽然我们家现在穷，以后有钱就好了。”

可是外婆这样回答我：
“什么话？穷有两种：穷得消沉和穷得开朗。我们家是穷得开朗。而且啊，我们跟由富变穷的人不一样，你不用担心，要有自信。因为我们家的祖先可世世代代都是穷人。做有钱人很辛苦，要吃好东西，要去旅行，忙死了。而且，穿着好衣服走在路上，还要担心摔一跤。光从这一点来看，穷人习惯穿着脏衣服，淋了雨，坐在地上，摔跤也无所谓。啊，贫穷真好！”

……

我只能说：
“阿嬷，晚安。”

阿嬷的的考试秘诀:
“阿嬷，我英语都不会。”
“那，你就在答案纸上写‘我是日本人’。”
“对啊，在日本不懂英语也不会特别麻烦啊。”
“是啊，是啊。”
“可是，我也不太会写汉字哪。”
“那你就写‘我可以靠着平假名和片假名活下去’。”
“哦？是有人只认得平假名。”
“是啊，是啊。”
“我也讨厌历史……”
“历史也不会？”

讲到这里，外婆终于有些傻眼。

我以为外婆会叫我“赶快去读书”，但她毕竟是外婆，想了一下，冒出这句话：
“那就在答案纸上写‘我不拘泥于过去’。”

帅呆了！

乐观的的阿嬷：
外婆利落地指挥学弟他们，稳稳地把黑板摆作我们和隔壁邻居的围墙。

隔天，外婆要我从学校拿些不用的粉笔头回家，开始把黑板当作留言板用。

我放学回家时，黑板上都有给我的留言：
“昭广，我晚点儿回来，阿嬷。”
“昭广，去买瓶酱油，阿嬷。”

有一次回去时，看见黑板上大大地写着：
“昭广，钥匙在大门旁的盆栽里，阿嬷。”

再怎么说，写出藏钥匙的地方，不是太不安全了吗？我提醒外婆小心：
“阿嬷，写出放钥匙的地方，很危险哪。”

“哪会啊？小偷看了，说不定会烦恼：‘去偷这么亲切的人家妥当吗？’‘不行，其中可能有诈。’阿嬷是要给小偷改过自新的空间。而且就算进来了，也没有东西可偷，说不定因为我们一无所有，反而留下一点东西才走呢！”

这件事让我觉得，学校里谈恋爱的老师、借故调皮捣蛋的我虽然厉害，但都比不上外婆。

Oh well, as much as I like my current job, it’s not going to last long I think. I would probably be out of this camp by end of the week, and by next tue, I should be in Mandai Hell Camp, I mean Mandai Hill Camp.

The whole “going-to-1SIR” thing has been quite an emotional roller coaster. I basically went from 抗拒to恐惧to愤怒to沮丧to finally 认命 in a matter of 6 weeks.

抗拒because who would want to go to a infantry unit? And to announce it on the very first day of the course when we haven’t even settle into stagmont is not the best choice in my opinion.

恐惧because of all the scary stories by the 1SIR people in the platoon, and “sim lim square” isn’t really helping us feel at ease about going 1SIR at all.

愤怒because I was denied of a chance to express interest for the overseas posting, that I really want to go for, which would actually kind of grant me immunity from going 1SIR. (though I must say this is only a very minor factor)

沮丧when I realized yenshan and robert got the overseas posting, life in 1SIR seems more bleak than ever with the 2 of them gone, and joshua and kian hong possibly deferring due to medicine in NUS and PSC.

认命…oh well, what else can I do other than to认命.

Then they gave us hope. We are not going 1SIR afterall due to some conflicts up there. We were excited for like 2 days, then rumours (which are from very very credible sources) that we are going there afterall start to circulate around again.

They simply love to play with our minds don’t they. Like the “go Taiwan, not going Taiwan” deal and the “Driving course, no driving course” issue.

Whatever it is, I’m way past the认命stage already. Currently at the麻木stage.

Too numb to even feel anything about this news anymore.

p.s. i love you

2008-04-26T17:04:00.001+08:00

//p.s. i love you//

This 6 weeks of heaven in stagmont, before I officially enter hell on 7th May, actually managed to get me to pick up the books and start reading again. And by reading, I'm not actually refering to the thick manuals or pointless powerpoint slide, I'm refering to real fictional (how oxymoronic!) books. The long admin time at night, breaks in between lessons, or the ridiculously long waiting time for the practical test are all perfect time for reading.

Of course this is only one of the few factors that pushed me to start reading again. I guess the mass comm interview/selection test a few weeks ago kind of got to me a little. I just felt like I really really have to start working on my language or something if I ever wanna do well in mass comm because everyone there just seems so...outstanding. I admit I was intimidated, and in fact, I just felt like a fish out of water. It was like a science student being randomly thrown together with a bunch of humanities students. Maybe I'm really just a science student at heart?

Oh well.

Been talking a lot about uni education and future careers and so on with my bunkmates, and ironically it made me feel even more unsure about everything. I thought I had it all mapped out, guess I was wrong, since I feel like I'm right back at square 1 right now. Why do I even apply for mass comm in the first place? What exactly do I want? Journalism? Advertising? Social work? Teaching? It's driving me nuts thinking about it.

Maybe I should just heed my own advice that I gave my friend, stop thinking so much and just go with your gut feeling. Sometimes, overthinking isn't too healthy huh? I guess I just need more guts and have more confidence in myself.

Ok, enough of deviation. This is supposed to be about "p.s. i love you". robert recommended me this book after I casually asked him to recommend me some good books a couple of weeks ago. yenshan described it as "really sweet and would make you wanna fall in love" kind of book. And yea, it's really pretty sweet, but maybe cause I haven't really experienced the feeling of losing a loved one, it just didn't quite strike a chord with me.

I mean I do feel sorry for Holly, and it's nice reading about her times with Gerry and so on, I just can't relate to those stuff. What I really like about this book though, are the interactions Holly had with her best friends Denise and Sharon. I think for me, it's more of a book about friendship rather than love? And I particularly like the karaoke competition part, where she sung "With a little help from my friends".

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends
Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends
- With A Little Help From My Friends (The Beatles)

Well, I guess that's kind of what I'm feeling right now. A bit lost just like Holly in the book, not really knowing what I want in life, and what to do with it, but I guess I will get by with a little help from my friends.

So Jiahua was asking me if I felt sad after reading the book, cause he thought the story is those classic tragic case, I actually wasn't, cause it kind of made me feel a bit more hopeful about life. Weird but oh well, that was how I felt.

I guess I should really count myself lucky for having the friends I have now, be it my classmates, h4 or bunkmates I have now, cause they really made my NS a lot more fun and I always felt a lot better after talking to them.

On a separate note, ex VHF this week turned out to be really fun. HQ work was really hectic and it can get a little stressful with the commanders around all the time, but it's actually kind of exciting when I press the PTT button, a lot of times not knowing what to say or how to relay a msg, but still doing it anyway cause the commander is hurrying us to make some annoucement or something.

Of course there were lots of funny episodes, like v11 getting lost, v77's exercise msg about their punctured tires that we all thought was real, and v44's long matrix msg which we took damn long to decode only to realise it's something really lame (cbhaha).

drawing and returing of stores before and after the exercise is still a bitch as usual, and once again, it proved to me some ppl just can't be bothered. if i can walk up and down 5 storeys to carry stores for 7 friggin times, there's no reason why you can't do it. and if you don't wanna help, at least hide at some corner so that people cant see you, instead of walking around acting sick.

sometimes i really wonder if it's my problem but not theirs. I mean if i'm whinning and complaining about so many people so often, maybe I'm the one with the problem? Oh well.

And yenshan told me that "you shouldn't help people who don't help themselves" if I were to become a social worker next time cause of some incident that happened in camp. and it kind of got me thinking. though i agree that some people don't deserve the help like the ones I was attempting to help the other day, but isn't it the responsibility of the social worker to get the people who are not helping themselves at all, to start to helping themselves.

so putting it back into the current scenario i'm in, instead of helping them clean the fans, I should encourage them to start cleaning it? But honestly speaking, I can't be bothered to do that, cause it's really a chore to even to talk any sense into them. Guess I'm not cut out to be a social worker too...haha..

Growing Up

2008-04-20T18:22:00.000+08:00

//Titleless//

Been ages since I last updated this blog. Nothing really major much has been going on in camp recently, other than the constant emo-ing of "omg, i m going 1SIR!" or "omg! i wanna down pes!". Well, but truth be told, I don't think any one of us would actually end up down pes-ing or anything like that. I guess you must have that "chao geng" gene in you to really actively seek ways to down pes, and sadly, none of us possess that important gene.

The most major event that happened in the last 3 weeks in camp..is probably the lines summary exercise. But wait! That's classified information! So oh well, not like it was ultra exciting and deserve a paragraph by itself anyway.

What's more "blog-worthy" is probably be the post-exercise recovery period, where we have to wheel back all the lines through the night right after the exercise. This kind of thing just reinforce my dislike for certain people in the platoon, and it's really very obvious who actually bothers to put in that tinnie winnie pit of effort, and who just don't care at all.

A certain someone want us to gel and work together as a platoon, which is fair enough I guess, but I guess it's impossible to work together, if some people don't work at all to start with?

My past 2 weekends have been spent with meng, cheng and terence, and yes, it does feel a bit loser-ish initially, like "don't I have other friends?! why am i seeing the same people 2 weekends in a row!" But oh well, anything beats staying at home, so I went out with them anyway, and I really enjoy their company too, so why not?

Watched this movie called "Untraceable" last week, before heading down to some pub in Clarke Quay. I admit, I never club, I don't even go pubs cause I just don't drink, so when they suggested it, I was like "okay..." but I still went anyway. Had Vodka with Sprite, which is like pretty mild I guess, but I just conclude I don't like to drink at all. In fact, I don't like any food with alcoholic content, like I don't even like Rum & Rasin.

This week, we decided to head down to Marina South for some steamboat, only to realise it's all gone?! So headed to Lau Pa Sat instead, stuffed ourselves with food, and it was actually a great nights out, if not for the super annoying bell ringing thing every hour. Now we know why the whole place is so void of customers.

Food we ordered!

Went over to Harry's...and this time round, I sticked to plain water.

Ok, I think my blog is turning into some horrible report of my life in chronological order. Bad bad. There are actually lots of things on my mind over the weeks, but I just don't feel motivated to write them out.

Oh well, till next time, out.

First Week

2008-03-30T11:05:00.000+08:00

//First Week//

Life in stagmont is pretty good compared to BMT.

I mean there's of course the initial "i-hate-this-new-place" blues on the first day when you don't know anyone, and you don't know the place well, and you are forced to study all the physics stuff that I personally HATE to the core. Luckily, it only lasted like for a day, because the whole atmosphere there is just so...happy that it's hard to feel sad there. Yes, everyone is sian of mugging and studying (and mind you, we really study A LOT, like from 8 to 6 almost everyday) but all in all, it's a happy place, even for the commanders, so it's really hard to feel depressed over there.

Not that we are happy 24/7 there also lar, especially when certain news are made. News like where we are going to posted to after the 6+ week course definitely manage to make most of us feel -_- for quite some time, but oh well, there's nothing good food can't solve, so I'm really glad my bunk decide to just "emo" over it over food every night by going down to the food vending machine to pig out.

Speaking of my bunk, there's a whoopin 5 hwa chongians out of 9 people in my bunk! So there's definitely loads to talk about, especially GOSSIPS! Oh man, hwachong is such a happening and horny place. Haha, shan't discuss too much here. But there's good and bad to it I guess, because of the fact that there are 4 other HC guys around that I can hang out with and speak to, there's no motivation in me to try to mix around with other people that much, and if I really did ended up in that place after my course, I definitely definitely need to mix around more with the platoon, even those that I feel are on a complete different frequency as me. But oh well, it's only the first week, shall see how it goes.

Was talking with mingwei on the phone that day while in camp, and we were whinning to each other as usual, and I came to the conclusion that there's really no point being envious of people for their vocation. I mean he's staying out, and he's complaining, I'm in signals, and I'm complaining. Bottomline, we are all human, we will never be 100% satisfied, and what's more, this is NS, where no one in the right mind would be happy to serve, so actually no matter where you are posted to, there are bound to be stuff that you won't be happy with cause it's army afterall. So, oh well, just count down to the next bookout!

Speaking of bookouts, got to bookout on Sat morning instead of Fri which is the standard in SI thanks to guard duty. Talk about lucky. But it's a 12 hour duty, so it's not that bad I guess compared to those who got weekend 24 hour duty.

Met up with meng, cheng n rence yesterday to celebrate meng's birthday. Ate at Billy Bombers, which well cost me a bomb but the ribs are nice. Highlight of the day should be this $10Family KTV at Chinatown which is superhard to find. When we finally found it, we were led to this small room just beside their kitchen. Though small, it's really cosy and the sofa's comfortable, and there's free flow of drinks and even shark fins' soup (seriously!), though it tasted like...hmm..nevermind. But all these only for $10++ for 7 to 10, which is seriously quite cheap, and the songs there are actually very updated, and for some reason, we just got very high randomly over random songs. The 2pm to 7pm slot is even cheaper cause it's 10 bucks nett. Highly recommended!

Cooking

2008-03-22T10:34:00.000+08:00

//Cooking//

Block leave is ending soooon! zzzzz.

Finally met up with cheng, meng and terence yesterday. It's really exciting meeting up with them, cause we always end up doing the most random thing at the very last minute. We were just eating Delifrance breakfast buffet, and for some reason, decide that we should each cook a dish for lunch at my house! (after checking our posting result, which was our original plan).

So off we went to NTUC to do some grocery shopping. I actually really like to do grocery shopping. I just find the idea of doing grocery shopping with your loved ones (be it friends, mum or whatsoever) very sweet. I like this homely feeling. Though I must admit it's kind of funny for 4 guys to be doing this together, seeing how our "inner-auntie" emerge.

The cooking process itself was kind of a mess, since none of us have really cooked b4, and we are all relying on what we can remember when we see our mums cook. I conclude I am so not cut out for cooking cause I'm seriously clumsy.

Anyway, here are the photos of sumptous meal we cook!

Green curry chicken cooked by yours truly! Actually, I didn't have to do much, it's like cooking instant noodles, I just dumped the curry powder into the water, dump in the chicken, and other stuff...and tada! It's done!

Steamed fish by terence! (which surprisely is edible)

VEGG!!! By cheng...

姜葱猪肉 by cheng again! He's seriously the only one that looks like he can remotely cook.

Our meal! (plus omelette)

Pointless Ramblings

2008-03-20T22:23:00.000+08:00

//Pointless Ramblings//

It's just another story caught up in another photograph I found
And it seems like another person lived that life
A great number of years ago from now
- Photograph (Jamie Cullum)

Been reading through some of my older entries lately, because well, I'm just too bored, and I was actually quite surprised at some of the things I wrote. Not that it was even remotely good writing or what, but at least there was something, I actually put some thoughts into what I wanna write. But I was kind of glad I did capture down what I felt at that period of time, at least I was reminded that I was once optimistic about some stuff.

Lately, I don't know whether it's the lack of time, no inspiration or what, I just can't be bothered to even try to translate those incoherent thoughts and ramblings in my mind into words anymore. I'm just lazy I guess. Or maybe I should say that I hardly have such reflections and thinking process going on in my brain anymore since my life has been all about following orders.

"If the commander ask you to jump, you jump", to quote one of my commanders.

Shall not blame it entirely on NS, and I decided I shall stop blogging about it too, at least not during my block leave, because I want to feel like a real civilian for once. *try to ignore the fact that posting is coming out tomorrow and i will be back by monday*

Been discussing with quite some people about uni applications lately too. Reading up on all the modules and stuff made me kind of pumped up and excited about uni education. Of course I was slapped back into reality really soon.

Admist all these discussions, the issue of moral courage was suddenly raised. Don't ask me how, it was kind of random I agree. Do you stand up for what you believe in? Apparently, someone commented that my friend lack moral guts? Kind of made me wonder what that someone thought of me too with regards to this, but I would be more than willing to admit I'm not the kind that will fight aggressively for my rights or what I think is right. Not proud of it, but yea, that's me. That's not to say I condone stuff that I think is morally wrong tho.

Of course I'm not talking about really serious stuff like condoning crimes or whatsoever. But let's say someone cut my queue, my typical reaction would be to just let it be. And that's basically my attitude towards a lot of stuff. I mean 多一事不如少一事, so why get worked up over trivial stuff like that? I am just the type of person that prefer peace, nothing wrong with that I guess. People may see it as a sign of weakness or what, but at the end of the day, as long as I'm happy, who are they to judge?

Ok, I think I am getting into the rambling mode already. Shall talk about something happier.

Finally, I watched a movie! "Vantage Point" wasn't exactly mind-blowing fantastic, but it was worth the money at least. I felt that a lot of parts could have been developed further, like the media reporting part, or the backstory of some of the characters. The narration was quite interesting. reminded me of the movie "Memento", which is a movie with a very simple plot narrated in a fascinating manner. So just like what I felt about "Memento", take away the narration plot device, and "Vantage Point" is actually a very simple and straightforward movie. I kind of wished there was more twists actually, and the excessive use of this mode of narration from the different point of view, made it feel a bit gimmicky. But all in all, I did enjoy it.

On a totally unrelated note, I read this article on zaobao the other day, about the current trend of people changing the lyrics to current pop songs. Kind of funny cause I was just telling meng about how both my bro and sis actually write their own songs, and that I wanna try writing some lyrics too some time.

For me, lyrics of a song is far more important than the melody itself. I can find myself growing to really love a song with a very average tune, but awesome lyrics, but I just can't bring myself to listen to songs with crap lyrics. Granted it's the tune that usually attract me to a song in the first place, it's the lyrics that determine whether it's just another song I will sing along to or one that I really like.

One of these days...I will write something...when inspiration strikes.

Lost

2008-03-09T18:08:00.000+08:00

//Lost//

I am very happy with my results. Very.

Not so excited about the fact that I still have absolutely no idea what to study. What's worse is I am totally not motivated to find out more about the options I have. There's the issue of what to study, whether to study local or overseas, whether to apply for scholarships or not, if yes, what scholarship should I go for.

But seriously, I really really really am in the mood to think about all this.

My mind is more preoccupied with POP this coming wednesday and the 12 day bloc leave, and more importantly what I'm going to do during this 12 days.

Perhaps NS has really eroded my brain in just a matter of 12 weeks.

I really envy those people who know what they want.

Lost. :(

Happy Faces

2008-03-02T00:07:00.000+08:00

//Happy Faces//

Was browsing through my photos cause we are supposed to print out a photo of us with hair for our PS to see, and came across this photo.

Genuinely happy faces of us....on this day

A day to remember.

My February

2008-03-01T10:42:00.003+08:00

//My February//

In case you think I died in Tekong or something, I didn't. I was just too lazy to update this blog, cause there's seriously nothing much going on in my life now anyway.

It certainly doesn't help when 2 of my precious weekends since my last update have been eaten up by fieldcamp and sit test.

BMT life since my last update is...well..like that lor. Had the fieldcamp, which according to my sgt is supposed to be omg-so-shagged, and sit test which is supposed to be omg-even-more-shagged. Of course there's lots of IPPT, SOC, and route marches going on coupled with the usual PT like strength training, speed training and AGR. Did my live range too, so basically I am only left with one last major event for BMT which is the 24km route march.

I realised I kind of enjoy outfield, at least I kind of like my fieldcamp and sit test (when it didn't rain). I mean it's not like I love outfield or what, in fact there are lots of things that I hate about fieldcamp, like all the proning during stand 2, all the tekaning etc, but somehow, time seems to pass much faster. Like during fieldcamp, an entire afternoon can be spent on practising fire movement or urban ops stuff, and admist all the waiting, eating (yes eating!), and getting scolded by sgts, the afternoon is over just like that.

And I loooove sit test, not for the test itself, but for all the free time we had. The test usually ends at 12+ and it's free time for the rest of the day! And it's quite nice to sit around and talk cock while munching on the biscuits from the accessory pack.

Somehow we just eat so so much during fieldcamp and sit test that we think we will gain weight after fieldcamp. Speaking of food during fieldcamp, I absolutely love the desserts in our combat rations, especially the red bean with wintermelon and red bean with logan. i LOVE the peanut with lotus roots too. I love the oat digestive biscuit in the accessory pack too, oh and the fruit bars! It's kind of funny that before the sit test, some of my bunkmates and I were talking about how excited we are about sit test cause we get to eat field rations again.

Live range was another slack affair. It's a lot of sitting around and waiting, and of course, eating (again). Thank god for the ninja van for selling all the snacks and stuff if not I think I would have died of boredom. I did pretty ok for my day shoot, scoring 15/16, but I am such a bobo shooter at night scoring only 6/16. But as long as I passed I'm happy.

Can't say the same for my IPPT though. Had my IPPT last mon, I was quite glad that I've improved in all stations, chin ups from 0 when I first enlist to 7 now, and 2.4 from 13.12 to 10.58. Sadly, I just can't jump. The sgt was like "JUMP LIKE A FROG!!" when I went for the IPPT re-test with Kestrel coy on fri, but no matter how hard I tried I still can't pass lar. I was quite touched though when almost all my platoon mates who went for the retest was encouraging me and telling me I can do it. It's funny that there's 2 of us from the platoon that can't pass SBJ, and no one really cared about the other person.

Speaking of "that person", I am really amazed at how NS can make me re-evaluate myself as a person. I used to think I am a very mild-tempered person, with a very high level of tolerance. I guess I was wrong, cause "that person" actually made me do things I don't think I would usually do. I really really cannot stand "that person" (and I think the same can be said for almost the whole platoon), and I think he's the first person that can make me say such sacarstic comments right in his face. I mean normally I just keep those comments to myself, but with him, it just comes out of my mouth, there's no control.

10 more days to POP and I can't wait to get that person completely out of my life. I swear if he manage to get into OCS, I would absolutely completely lose faith in how our army operates. That being said, though I certainly won't miss him, I am sure I would miss my bunkmates and platoonmates for sure. I would miss Rocky Hill Camp for the serenity. I would miss my big big bunk compared to those at Ladang. I would even miss some of my commanders.

10 more days, hope it's a memorable 10 days.

Confinement

2008-01-20T18:50:00.000+08:00

//Confinement//

So I had my first taste of how confinement feels like.

Well, at least it was the entire company being confined.

Today is book out day. Today is also book in day.

When we first heard the rumour on Monday, everyone is devasted, but somehow when the official announcement was made on Thursday, I was kind 0f okay with it. In fact, for some weird arcane reason, everyone's spirits were rather high on Friday. Maybe not everyone, but the people around me were zi-highing.

Booking in in 2 hours time, and I won't be back for 2 full weeks. Will be having my fieldcamp from 25th Jan to 30th Jan. The commanders are making the fieldcamp sound so so scary, don't know what to expect actually, the only thing I asked for is that we won't make some stupid mistakes and get confined again.

On a sidenote, I want to watch Cloverfield! Hope it's still on when I book out on 2nd Feb.

51 days to POP

Home

2008-01-13T11:35:00.000+08:00

//Home//

Went back to Hwa Chong right after I booked out on Friday night for the J1 O1 campfire. It feels weird walking up to the class bench again, the last time I did that was on 22nd Nov.

Standing at the Central Plaza again feels great. Even the dark night sky looks better than the one in Tekong. Singing the familiar songs, dancing the familiar mass dance, it feels good, but I know very well in my heart that it's just a fleeting moment kind of thing, I mean afterall, I have already graudated, I am already a NSF. Looking at the J1s running around in their Orientation T-shirt, I feel nothing but envy.

Sitting at my favourite spot at the class bench feels surreal. I mean just a few hours before that I was still sitting in my bunk waiting to get out. 心态上的落差感真的很大。

Witnessed the "watermelon-smashing" ceremony for 08S71. They seem like a cool bunch of people. I think the best part of going back is still seeing 06s71, though only a miserable 6 other poeple turned up. Learnt some shocking news, like Hannah is now teaching at Nanyang Primary! Saw Miss Wong and Gene Tan too, they haven't changed much, I mean it's been only a few months.

Will be going back in a few more weeks time I guess to get results. Nerve-wrecking.

When It All Falls Apart

2008-01-12T23:02:00.000+08:00

//When It All Falls Apart//

And it's been yet another week in Tekong.

First day in Tekong after the book in on Sunday night is pretty bad. My theory is that they purposely chose to tekan us badly on this day because they think we are fresh from the bookout, no muscle aches and so on, so at least we can do standard pushups and so on. Imagine them tekaning us on Friday, with more than half the people doing half-fucked pushups because of the muscle ache from a week of training.

The funny thing is while we were being tekan in the Parade Square outside the cookhouse, staring at the red ground on the parade square at one moment doing pushups, then staring at the starry dark morning sky at the next moment doing that shutter kick or something, the song that was playing on the radio in the cookhouse was this...

I'm having a day from hell
It wasn't all going so well
- When It All Falls Apart (The Veronicas)

And it became sort of the theme for the day, and the entire day did sort of became the day from hell.

Subsequent days were defintely much better though. I looove the long long admin time at night after RO. I espeically love the moment when I lie down on my bed to sleep, cause it feels that the day is officially over and I'm one day closer to bookout day.

Went out with my section mates today for lunch, sort of as a farewell for mark who's posted out since he's already down pes, and as a opportunity for us to see wai kit too. Section 2, down to 11 people from the original 13.

It's quite an eye-opener, or rather it's quite interesting to hear from some of them about who they dislike in the platoon and so on.

I feel really lucky to be in section 2, cause I think among all the not-so-pleasant people in the whole platoon, or to put it more crudely, among all the people I dislike in the platoon, none of them are from section 2.

59 days to POP. 1 more bookout before my fieldcamp. Feeling kind of nervous about the fieldcamp.

Anticipation

2008-01-06T17:35:00.000+08:00

//Anticipation//

My bunkmate was telling me the best part about booking out is not the actual bookout, but the anticipation of it, especially a few hours just before the bookout. I agree wholeheartedly because we always hype things up to make ourselves feel better.

Likewise, the worst part of booking in is not the part where we fall in at Pasir Ris Interchange at the stipulated timing. The worst part is the few hours right before booking in as you are about to change out of your civilian clothing into your smart 4. The transition from civilian to soldier is indeed painful.

On a side note, we were asked to bring a photo in during our last book in, and I wanted to bring a photo of my cute cousin mao mao. Unfortunately, to my horror, I can't find a photo of him! (aside from those in the comp that is)...so in the end, I brought in this photo!

I can't find a family photo, SJAB photo or anything, so this is the closest and most significant photo I can find that actually means something to me.

1 more week to 1 month anniversary of enlisting.

65 days to POP.

2008

2008-01-01T11:41:00.000+08:00

//2008//

So this is Christmas
And what have you done
Another year over
And a new one just began
- Happy Christmas War Is Over (John Lennon)

I know Christmas was over already, but the lyrics is still quite apt. Another year over, and a new one just began.

What have you done in the past year?

2007 flew by just like that, from the very beginning of the year, the thought of A levels has been weighing on all our minds. Then it was block test after block test and before we knew it, it was prelims already. The year was filled with lots of mugging, but still it was bearable and enjoyable cause of the company I get.

Both JC and NS take up 2 years of our life, but I think the biggest difference between the 2 is one will fly by very quickly while the other will slowly crawl past bit by bit.

Met up with the class on New Year's eve. We went cycling at ECP, followed by dinner at Crystal Jade at Suntec and dessert at MOF (ministry of food) at Marina Square. Seeing them again really make me miss the class bench and school in general.

Booking in in 7 hours time. Bookout times always pass so so fast. I don't know if I will be able to book out the next weekend or not since the supposedly remedial training is beginning for those that fail the IPPT cat test.

70 days 12 hours and 7 min 30 seconds to POP! Feels awfully similar to that time when I'm counting down to the start of A levels, cause I only started counting down to A levels with about 70 + days left. A levels have came and gone, let's just hope BMT will too!

NS Life

2007-12-25T13:21:00.000+08:00

//NS Life//

It's been 10 days since I enlisted.

Lots of people has sms-ed me to wish me luck for NS, and many have asked me how's NS whenever they see me online when I bookout. I'm really touched and it really means a lot to me...but a lot of times, I really don't know how to reply.

To quote from the letter I received from the previous person sleeping in the bed I'm sleeping on now in the bunk "BMT is not as fun as people make it out to be, but it is certainly no hell also."

I mean there would definitely be some shit times in there, like certain times when I can't cope with certain physical training and so on. But there are definitely moments inside that can make my day too, like having more admin time than usual, or when we encourage each other to do more pullups during our free time even though our muscle already aches like mad.

I didn't adapt quite as well as I thought I would initially. I was mentally prepared for a lot of things, like the regimentation of army life, the vulgarities from the commanders and so on. What I didn't expect is how a lack of friends can put a toll on my mind.

I really miss my family and friends in there. I have always coped rather well with home sickness issues whenever I have to leave my home for a extended period of time. But whatever the situation may be, I still had my friends with me. Like in Taiwan, I'm still surrounded by people I know, and even during the home stay, I was very much welcomed by my buddy's family.

That's what I didn't anticipate in NS, at least for the first couple of days. It was rather lonely, and I just can't deal with that very well. What's worse is I usually take a long time to warm up to people, so it feels even worse when I see other people starting to chat around more, getting along better.

I remembered I felt that way back in sec 1 too. It took me weeks to adjust to secondary school life.

And to make matters worse, it's a friggin' 13 week programme. Unlike St John camps or stuff like that, the whole BMT lasts for so long, and it just seems to never end, especially during the first few days.

Right now, I have already booked out twice, and I'm booking in soon. And just like I mentioned it's been 10 days since I enlisted. I'm definitely getting along much much better with my bunkmates and platoon mates right now. That's probably why I was happier the last couple of days. (or maybe it was the thought of booking on Christmas) Whatever it is, I'm just glad that I'm finally starting to get used to NS life.

On a side note, I must say I spent my bookout days rather efficiently. Met up with ever, wilson & xinyi for KBox yesterday from 11 to 2, and went to watch "Alvin & The Chipmunks" with the TIP people after that, followed by watching "National Treasure" with the St John people. Then I went back to meet the TIP people for Christmas countdown.

But I was left with a slight fever, and a sorethroat now a few hours before booking in. I'm not exactly thrilled about it, cause I just feel feverish, with the generalised body aches you get for fever, but my temperature is not above 37.5 degrees, so this means I can't go to see the Medical Officer (MO). So I'm really praying that I will get well really soon.

I just changed my countdown timer on my comp again, now I'm counting down to POP (Passing Out Parade).

77 days 6 hours 20 mins to POP!

Post A Levels

2007-12-14T19:31:00.001+08:00

//Post A Levels//

There were lots of things I have been wanting to post here, but since I was out like almost everyday, I can't really find the time, and even if I'm at home, I would rather take that time to slacka and nua instead of blogging.

I mean there are lots of others things to do too, like seletctively throwing away notes and so on.

But with 18 hours, 44 mins and 30 seconds left of freedom before I enlist, I decided that I have to do this. If not I wouldn't have the time or energy to do this even when I book out.

So let's rewind...back to the day A levels ended on 22nd Nov......I know this is going to be boring, but I really want to record all this now, I mean afterall, there'll only be 1 "post-A-lvl" period in your life...

22nd Nov (Thursday)
A levels ended! Watched Stardust with the class. There were like 19 of us, haha, we never had such good attendance for any class activities, except maybe JTS earlier on this year. Stardust was great!

23rd Nov (Friday)
Went running in the morning, and had breakfast together with my parents at this Bedok hawker, which apparently they used to bring me there when I was 2 . Shocking discovery! My mum used to be in a band, and my dad used to go to those beach parties! My aunts (one of them is 60+ now) are frequent clubbers back when they were younger and they would lie to my grandma whenever they go clubbing! That's the kind of stuff you can dig out when you have breakfast with your parents like everyday after A levels.

25th Nov (Sunday)
Did prom shopping with mingwei. Learnt something new that day: do not ever ever shop with lee mingwei alone. But it's not entirely his fault, I mean that's what you get when 2 guys who don't really shop a lot go out shopping together.

26th Nov (Monday)
First Sentosa outing for H4! It started to rain just after we arrived at Siloso beach. We still managed to entertain ourselves by eating grass, doing forward rows, doing star jumps at the Bus terminal there. Went to Palawan beach later on in the afternoon after the rain stopped. Played frisbee...and surprisely...mingwei is the winning factor! Whoever teamed up with him will always win!

We spent a long long time trying to bury ying cheng with him sitting down...to bury him in sand to such a height...it requires a really big base...

Stupid terence with really short hands, I was supposed to be in this photo too, but terence's zi pai skills suck, you can see a bit of my hair though next to mingwei. Speaking of this, Lee Ming Wei, I want the photos from sentosa! Please upload them soon!

Terence tried to make ying cheng a tourist attraction by constantly shouting "5 bucks per photo!" when the tourists came out from Dolphin Lagoon.

27th Nov (Tuesday)
KBox outing with the class! Rebecca and Edmund who don't usually go to Kbox with us came along too! Song of the day has to go to Edmund for his "Phantom of the Opera", where he sung both the girl and guy's part. His "Re Dai Yu Ling" was pretty entertaining too, considering how he can't read the Chinese words.

28th Nov (Wednesday)
Prom shopping again, this time with my mum. Surprisely, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Finally bought my vest at Topman Suntec, with a 20 bucks discount thanks to ying cheng's voucher.

29th Nov (Thursday)
Malaysia trip to see my beloved cousin. I decided to call him Julien Mao from now on. Did some more prom shopping there, bought my shirt at Espirit there...and pants from this shop called Padini I think. Never underestimate the power of aunties! My mum actually managed to "con" the salesperson into giving us a 25% discount voucher! She was just telling that salesperson what a pity it is that I forgot to bring my Espirit card (which I borrowed from ying cheng), and that if I have that card (which gives me 10% discount) I will definitely buy more. And that salesperson just gave her a 25% discount voucher!

Apparently, according to my mum who heard from her friend, sometimes these salesperson will keep these vouchers (cause they will be given vouchers since they are staff) and give them to customers who seem to be inclined to buy a lot (for some shops, they do earn commissions), so as to increase the incentives for them to buy more. So...I got a 25% discount...by doing nothing!

30th Nov to 3rd Dec (Friday to Monday)
Class Chalet! It was really quite fun. We didn't plan anything, and we just ended up doing things on impulse, like going to Escape, which was a totally random idea raised during our breakfast at BK. Really enjoyed the midnight stoning session at the beach too.

The highlight of the chalet for me is probably the mini foodtour that ever, pauline, mitchell and I went on while the rest went for Lan. Speaking of this...Everlyn! I want the photos! We even went to Clarke Quay after the mini foodtour for a walk (and we ended up sitting down by the river...haha). The rushing to Punggol so that we don't miss the last bus to Downtown East was pretty hilarous, especially the part where we played with the doors at Punggol MRT.

Went for the tea session for SPH scholarship on 3rd Dec too. Still comtemplating if I should even apply for it. Saw terence there...and apparently he was really really shocked to see me there, and that I'm even considering for the SPH scholarhsip.

I was really pissed at some of the things he said, well, actually not at the things he said, but I was more upset by the fact that as a close friend for almost 6 years, it seems like his perception of me and who I think I am seems to be very different. I was upset at myself too, for always always being so passive in whatver things I am interested in. Maybe I have been potraying this "image" of myself around them, or they just don't know me well enough, but whatever the case may be, I was kind of upset and at the same time, inspired to be more active in pursuing my interests.

4th Dec (Tuesday)
Prom day itself! I'm not going to forgive myself if I don't blog about this, cause it's like my one and only prom in my life.

It was kind of like A levels all over again! The "preparation" part sucks, cause I really hate shopping, and though I can't wait to get it over and done with because of all the hassles associated, I kind of didn't want to come so soon, cause it's afterall the last Hwa Chong event I'm attending, the last time the whole class will be gathered in one place. I'm rather pleased with myself for keeping within my budget, I didn't think it was possible at first.

I was very glad that the whole class came, and I managed to take photos with every single one of them individually. Or at least I thought I did, till I looked through my prom photos, and I realised I didn't take one with Jason!

The food was average, not really worth the 90 bucks, but I guess food's really secondary on Prom night. I felt so blinded by all the flashlights from the camera.

06S71 at Shangri-La! Lih Hern's not in this photo cause he had to leave early (at 10+) since he's going China. The girls all dressed up really nicely, while the guys were mostly wearing black and white.

Guys of 06S71!

St John photo of those whoe went for Prom! Minghao, somehow mysteriously disappeared from this photo, though he claimed to be there. I really liked this photo, and like ying cheng said, it feels like we all 长大了, especially when compared to those sec 1 sec 2 photos.

H4 photo! I'm kind of glad we stuck to the name H4, instead of some lame suggestions like Pi Sa Dan Ta, if not I would be typing "Pi Sa Dan Ta photo!"instead.

Mingwei and I...worked with him a lot...be it on St John matters, or our Chem project. Thanks for the "hahahahhahahha"-ing. Makes me feel a lot better.

Me and Ying Cheng! Took a lot of free rides from your Dad! And lots of mugging sessions together at Cathay and SRC...thanks!

Me and Terence! Bling Bling! As annoying and irritating as you can be sometimes, I FORGIVE YOU! HAHAHA! But seriously, we all have flaws, and with close friends, we look past and beyond each other's flaws, that's why we (as in the 4 of us) are still friends. You are already in Tekong as I am typing this...but good luck anyway.

A "America's Next Top Model"-inspired photo.

Taiwan Immersion people!!!

Remember this 九份 photo?

九份 redux at Prom!

Me and Nicholas wearing the same vest! I can only say we both have great taste! Hahaha...

5th Dec (Wednesday)
Stayed overnight at Gary's house after prom, and stayed for the whole day there due to the rain. Had quite a fun time playing Munchkins, I was so close to winning...but too bad. Haha. Yahoo Graffiti that night with the class was quite imba, like this one "Tues, $1"...and the answer is.....HOTDOG!

6th Dec (Thursday)
Movies day! Watched "The Golden Compass" with the class in the afternoon, and "The Tattooist" with squadmates at night. Both movies sucked, the company made up for it fortunately. Here are some of the photos for the St John outing that night.

We visited The Concourse to supposedly reminisce, because it will be torn down really soon, and it really does mean something to us, especially the BK there.

Sitting outside BK drinking free Starbucks coffee, my second drink of the day.

Christmas fair at The Concourse.

Photo with Veishen, who went back for Malaysia that night.

7th, 8th, 9th Dec (Friday to Sunday)
Slacking and nuaing at home! Successfully tidy up my room (which actually isn't messy to start with)

10th Dec (Monday)
One last H4 outing before Terence and I enlist. Went PS for Cafe Cartel set lunch. Went on to watch "Mad Detective" after that, which I highly recommend! To sum up the movie, I shall just quote Terence's msn personal msg: "每个人心中都有鬼，那么你心里又有几只?"

This is terence...being himself.

11th Dec (Tuesday)
Went for one last Kbox session with ever and weixin, 3 of us sang for 5 hours, which is really bad for my throat. Refer to the previous entry for a funny incident that happened that day! This is a message to weixin if you are reading...you haven't send me the guy's photo during Prom, and send me the photos we took that day too!

12th Dec (Wednesday)
GP stuff! Not doing GP work of course, but filing up my GP stuff of course. I filed and kept them cause I thought some of those articles and stuff may come in handy in the future, and it feels really bad to throw them all away, when I didn't even read 90%of them.

13th Dec (Thursday)
Malaysia trip again to see Julien Mao! Bought some clothes too, since I anticpate that I won't have time to do CNY shopping next year.

And with that, I'm done with my longest entry ever!!!!

Planets

2007-12-12T11:55:00.000+08:00

//Planets//

I promised weixin that I will post this on the blog.

Yesterday, ever, weixin and I went kbox...kind of like a last kbox session before I enlist, and weixin happened to be singing this new song by f.i.r, "第十行星". So and it sparked off this convo between us...(of course I cannot remember the exact the dialouge, this is a rough transcript)

me: hey, now that pluto is not a planet anymore, shouldn't this song be "第九行星"?

weixin: yar lor!

ever: wait, how many planets are there now that pluto is not a planet? 10 right?

me and weixin: ?!?!?!?

weixin: Oh my god ever! It's primary 3 science!!!

me: okay okay, let me test you, what is the planet closest to the sun?

ever: erm...jupiter?

me and weixin: OHMYGOD!

ever: wait wait, that's the smallest planet!!

me and weixin: -_-" *speechless

ever: not the smallest meh?!

I guess I am in no position to laugh at her, since I can't tell what's after S T U V _ .

But you must admit that was pretty funny.

Random

2007-12-10T01:20:00.000+08:00

//Random//

I was packing my stuff, in fact I still am, that's why my room is in a state of mess right now at 1.20 am.

I found this list of topics for each subject that I need to mug for A levels, and suddenly I remembered that A level just ended like a few weeks ago. So much time seemed to have passed for some reason.

I have been pretty busy since A lvls ended, I was out almost everyday, with the exception of fri till now, and the 2 days right after A lvls. I was either out doing prom shopping, singing at Kbox, chalet, stayovers, Prom, and the list goes on. I felt like I've done so much in this short amount of time since A levels ended.

I've been to Kbox (which I've been craving for a looong time), I've watched 3 movies, I've been to Malaysia, I've been to Sentosa...I've basically made up for the lack of social life for the past few months.

Actually I've no idea what I'm writing, I was just a bit 'inspired', for the lack of a better word, by that list of topics. I'm not like "Oh I miss mugging so much!" mode, but there's definitely a part of me kind of not adjusted to the total lack of mugging. I'm enjoying life right now, but I find myself, from time to time, thinking about my mugging sessions from the past 2 years. Maybe I don't really miss mugging, I just miss the mugging session itself.

I miss my classmates. I miss my squadmates. Don't know what's wrong with me. Received a sms from mitch wishing me luck for ns...since he will be off to indonesia with some of the class guys, and won't be back until after I enlist.

It feels like official goodbye to my student life. At least right now I still enjoy student meals, student specials, but come 15th Dec, I'm officially no longer a student. It's hard saying goodbye to this life, that I've been living for so long.

I don't think I'm making much sense now, this is really not a good time to blog, not at this kind of time, and with the mess in my room staring at me. Will try to blog about Prom...about the chalet...the food tour..and basically what's been going on in my life for the past few weeks soon.

Over

2007-11-25T01:50:00.000+08:00

//Over//

Finally, it's over.

I didn't anticipate that I would be overjoyed, or esctatic after my last paper, which happen to be Biology Paper 1.

Perhaps this long 23 days has been been too taxing on my mind to even feel any joy.

Perhaps I am too numbed by this feeling of "liberation" since this is the 6th time I am having this feeling in the past 2 years.

Perhaps like Ying Cheng said, "played" too much during A levels period liao, which is kind of true for me, since I still surf you tube almost every day, I still log into facebook, basically just what I do everyday (though to a much lesser extent), I mean that's what happen when you have 3 exams in 2 days, then a 7 day break.

Whatever the reason is, I knew I wasn't going to be like too excited when I hand in my last paper. But when the examiner announced "time's up, pen's down", at that very moment, I still feel a sense of liberation. It's not a "Yay it's over!" kind of liberation, more like "*Sigh*, it's finally over...." kind of feeling. Liberation nonetheless.

I daydream a lot during the A level period and slightly prior to it, cause I think I mentioned it before, when I mug, I get bored easily, and that's when I daydream the most. The scene of me handing in my last paper to the invigilator keeps playing in my mind, especially at the beginning of A levels, and that's seriously one of the main motivator that kept me going all the way, cause I always feel sooo happpy just imagining myself handing in that last paper. Maybe that's why the real thing doesn't feel as good, I mean, when something is so hyped up, it's hard to beat the hype I guess?

Nearing the end of A levels, I have even more time to daydream, since my last 3 papers are Chem MCQ, Bio MCQ and Bio paper 3, which aren't really very intensive when it comes to mugging. Instead of thinking about the last paper, I start to think more about the past. I try to remember all the mugging/crapping sessions I had with my friends, some of the more memorable tutorial sessions...just random stuff like these.

The fact that A level, and JC school life in general, is ending seems more and more real. Before that, it was something that I dream about, at that point, it was something was really going to happen soon.

I mean I talk with my friends so much about how school is ending, how this is the last tutorial session, how this is the last this and last that, but 22nd Nov is really going to be the end. I just can't quite reconcile with that fact it is really ending.

As I stepped out of the school gate that day, it was kind of a mixed feeling. Afterall, that has been my school for my past 6 years. I won't be stepping back into the school compound feeling that same way ever again.

I will miss complaining to my friends that 151 takes 30 mins to come and half of them are non air-con. I will miss the ugly brown uniform. I will miss Evelyn Ong's SMB message with 1001 different attachments. I will miss Pauline's sms from mrs ong to remind us to go to IVLE to check her newly uploaded econs articles. I will miss the 1 hour long tutorial discussing just 1 Bio MCQ. I will miss playing bridge at the class bench everyday after school. I will miss stoning at the class bench for hours before deciding what to do after every exam. I will even miss the Malay stall's curry chicken.

Okay, I think I am crazy. I will probably forget about these stuff soon, but still anyone who knows me will know that I hate changes, so it will probably take me a while to adjust myself mentally.

If my 12 years in this education is glycolysis, and NS is Krebs Cycle, then this 23 days before my enlistment is definitely the Link Reaction, which is kind of useless, but still necessary for me to adjust my mindset before I stepped onto Tekong to contribute to the nature by feeding the mosquitos.

Please don't mind my Bio analogy, I would forget most of these stuff soon anyway, so let me use them as much as possible before they get erased permanently from my memory.

Road Congestion

2007-11-17T00:19:00.000+08:00

//Road Congestion//

And she strikes again!

Mrs Evelyn Ong uploaded new econs articles onto the emb again! (for those who don't check the emb regularly)

I really really admire her for the passion she has in the subject she teaches.

And ironically, this is the first time I downloaded and read an article she uploaded.

Previously, I would only download essay and case studies ans keys, since it's obviously going to be more helpful for my A lvls, and given the fact that I have so little time left to study for so many subjects, I opted to dao all the articles she uploaded.

So today, for the first time, I downloaded this article on possible ways to solve the problem of road congestion, since I feel more free now that A levels is more or less near the end. (with Bio paper 1 and 3 left for me)

It's actually quite an entertaining read, probably cause there wasn't any arcane economics theory in the article. Some ideas are really funny...like:

1. Going underground
With public-private partnerships, we can build a road network under the city centre. Been there, done that? Well, the network will have direct access to underground carparks of major buildings, so drivers need not surface while in the Central Business District.

Our subterranean network will be green too. It will have a ventilation system that channels exhaust gases into a sump. In this sump, the gases are allowed to settle in a still environment.

Because carbon dioxide is heavier than air, it will collect at the bottom. There, it can be siphoned to be released judiciously in dense vegetation. Rate of release will vary according to intensity of sunlight, so that the plants can benefit from the enriched CO2 environment.

What is in it for us? Higher levels of oxygen from the photosynthesis, of course.

This next one is pretty funny too...

4. Baby boom
The vehicle quota system should be need- driven instead of dollar-driven. One way would be to tie the "entitlement to own cars" to people with children or people who take care of aged parents – on the premise that they need a car most.

First child, you get to buy a small car. Second child, a medium-sized car. And having three or more entitles you to a multi-purpose vehicle. Talk about killing two birds with one stone. We have set criteria and priorities for public housing.

So why not a similar philosophy for road usage demand?'

And this next one is my absolute favourite!

6. Do nothing
Worsening congestion will persuade people to leave cars at home and take public transport. But this will probably be a revenue-negative proposition, and thus, not very attractive.

Hahahahaha, quite an interesting read isn't it?

I am really impressed with how she cut out all these articles and archive them and so on, she must really really love econs to do that.

Anyway, after so many days of intensive mugging...this is the kind of MSN conversation u will get...

(context: i was discussing with meng about mugging tgt on tue...asking him if the Bio TYS he own has ans or not, and he replied yes!)

-:=[想着你]=:- 封闭的心不再防备全然释放，未来的路那么长，你已疲惫不堪，为什么幸福那么难... says:
so i support mugging tgt on tue!

-:=[想着你]=:- 封闭的心不再防备全然释放，未来的路那么长，你已疲惫不堪，为什么幸福那么难... says:
thn can share resources!

/\/\ \/\/ : says:
more like a dative bond

-:=[想着你]=:- 封闭的心不再防备全然释放，未来的路那么长，你已疲惫不堪，为什么幸福那么难... says:
dun chem me

-:=[想着你]=:- 封闭的心不再防备全然释放，未来的路那么长，你已疲惫不堪，为什么幸福那么难... says:
i econs u

-:=[想着你]=:- 封闭的心不再防备全然释放，未来的路那么长，你已疲惫不堪，为什么幸福那么难... says:
it's a free rider!

/\/\ \/\/ : says:
more like obligate parasites

/\/\ \/\/ : says:
muahahaha

-:=[想着你]=:- 封闭的心不再防备全然释放，未来的路那么长，你已疲惫不堪，为什么幸福那么难... says:
tax me tax me!

/\/\ \/\/ : says:
hahahaha

-:=[想着你]=:- 封闭的心不再防备全然释放，未来的路那么长，你已疲惫不堪，为什么幸福那么难... says:
aawww...virus...

/\/\ \/\/ : says:
hmmmm maths can notz huh???

Crazy people!

Economics

2007-11-08T21:27:00.000+08:00

//Economics//

I conclude that the Hwa Chong Economics Department is officially crazy (in a good way).

WHAT'S UP WITH ALL THE ESSAY ANSWER KEYS & CASE STUDIES?!?

It's like a daily routine during A levels to log into EMB to download new economics articles or answer keys to other JC papers that the Econs department uploaded.

Let's SQUEEEZZEE everything into my brain in this 4 days.

I salute them for their effort, I just hope I can be as hardworking as them.

Mugging Places

2007-11-03T23:19:00.000+08:00

//Mugging Places//

It's kind of ironic how I actually blog more during the exam period (A lvls somemore), but I guess the very fact that it's exam --> i mug a lot --> i get very bored easily --> i want to do something other than mugging --> i go to the kitchen for food --> i get fat --> i feel guilty --> i stop eating --> i try to find something else to do --> I BLOG!

See the logical flow of ideas? That's how I prepare my notes.....

Like...

Increase in nuclear charge --> almost constant shielding effect --> effective nuclear charge increase --> pull the outer electrons closer to the nucleus --> atomic radius decrease across the period

Or...

Decrease in tax --> increase in disposable income --> increase in consumption --> increase in AD

And I digress too much already! Hope my GP essay was not like this. Speaking of GP, I just caught a glimpse of our dear PM Lee on the news, talking about environmental conservation! How being the small little red dot that we are, even if we stop using all the aircon blah blah blah for don't know how long, the energy we can conserve is only equivalent what China used up in 3 days, but he said this doesn't mean we will stop making the effort, cause we are a global city afterall...

I wonder where he got his statistics from. And more importantly, it's related to the GP essay that I (and zillions of other individuals) attempted! The topic seems to be haunting me!
It's just like prelims, I remember the day after Econs paper, I saw on the Channel 8 evening news, a report on increasing the MRT fares...which was exactly what came out in the micro case study!

Creepy...

Back to what I wanted to blog about in the first place...MUGGING PLACES! I figured in about 18 days 9 hours time, I won't be mugging anymore..for about 2+ years...which means I probably won't be visiting my favourite mugging hangouts of my 2 years in JC...so I decided that I want to take some photos of them so that I can look back at these photos and remember what a wonderful mugger I was!

These places include...

1) My dinning room!
2) My living room!
3) My room!
4) My kitchen!
5) My balcony!
6) My sister's room!
7) The masterbed room! (don't you think master-bed room sounds dirty?)

Well..all these ain't that exciting, so I probably won't be posting photos...except maybe 1 or 2 (with my notes sprawling all over the place)

Now for the more exciting ones...(the bold-ed ones are places which I've been to rather regularly to mug)

1) Marina Square Foodcourt!
2) Paradiz Foodcourt!
3) Habourfront Centre Foodcourt!
4) United Square Foodcourt!
5) Century Square Foodcourt!
6) Sumohouse! (which sells jap food by the way)
7) Cosy corner at Hwa Chong SRC! (it's not the same as cosy corner in coro...this one's at science research centre in Hwa Chong..it's basically a corner...with benches..and it gets really warm in the afternoon...haha)
8) KAP
9) Beauty World Macs
10) Changing Appetite (damn I can't spell the word!)
11) Secluded corner in The Cathay
12) Esplanade Library (how can a list of mugging place not include a library!)
13) Bukit Panjang Library
14) Hwa Chong Library
15) Class bench
16) Reading Room
17) Ming Wei's house
18) SIM
19) Concourse in Hwa Chong (the place with the fountain and fishes)

I think that's about all...though I suspect I may have missed out a couple of them...anyway...I doubt I can take photos of all these places...but I wil try...at least for those bold-ed places...

2 photos to end this entry...

My dining table with chem notes all over it...

8 thick ring files of notes & tutorials...2 for each subject...
the green files are J1 topics...the black files are J2 topics...
the 2 small files beside the green files are my GP files...1 for compre and 1 for essay (and the rest of GP stuff...like time tunnel...hidden somewhere in my house)
the red (bio), blue (maths) and yellow (econs) files are for test papers & revision papers since I can't squeeze them into the thick ring files...green (chem) file is probably somewhere else...

Writers' Strike

2007-11-02T13:59:00.000+08:00

//Writers' Strike//

http://televisionista.blogspot.com/2007/11/hollywood-dogfight-writers-strike.html

PLEASE!

Let this strike ends ASAP!

If not...there goes my source of entertainment post A levels and pre-enlistment....

:(

31st October

2007-10-30T17:47:00.000+08:00

//31st October//

And so it begins...the 23 day battle...starting tomorrow for me.

And apparently my brother's O lvl Chinese is tomorrow too...

So is my sis's exam on Du Fu's poem...

All 3 of us are going for exams tomorrow together!! (though one in east coast, one in Bukit Timah, and one in Taiwan)

Good luck to all! (slap yourself now cause you really shouldn't be reading this at this time!)

And I just changed my countdown timer from "START OF A LEVELS" to the "END OF A LEVELS".

As of this moment, I'm 22 days 15 hours 26 mins and 30 seconds to liberation.

Mao Mao Photo Spam

2007-10-15T22:29:00.000+08:00

//Mao Mao Photo Spam//

I know you guys would probably be bored of my cute cute cousin's photos by now, but he is too cute to resist! He is one year old + now! Furthermore, I probably won't be writing much lately anyway, since there's nothing interesting about mugging anyway...

Not feeling very inspired to write too, though I've been thinking about some stuff recently...especially with things that has been going on like Grad Night, last CT session (with amazing potLUCK) & the receiving of enlistment letter...

So to prevent this blog from dying (like most of my classmate's blogs)...I shall spam photos!

cool mao mao...

grinning-ear-to-ear (with teeth!) mao mao

greedy mao mao...

belated birthday gift frm my sis (all the way from taiwan) to mao mao...

mao mao trying his new singlet...

...and oversized Snoopy polo tee...he sure looks happy doesn't he?

hungry mao mao...

mao mao (thinking): what about me?!

DA GE DA mao mao...

Oops I did it again!

Obedient-do-housework-for-mama mao mao

Play-with-chopstick mao mao...

Holding on for dear life...

mao mao: Give it to me...

Not mao mao..but ME! HAHA. Saw the teddy bear that I got from the class while shopping with mao mao...it feels weird to actually to be hugging the bear...instead of hugging the plastic (cause my bear is still wrapped in plastic...)...my bear is now living happily with the Hwa Chong bear now...

St John Photo Spam

2007-10-08T22:58:00.001+08:00

//St John Photo Spam//

Haven't posted anything concrete here for quite some time. There's just so so many things to be done, and it's 20 days more to the big "A"s. It's kind of scary, but I really cannot freak out now, if I do, it will be 20 days of hell. Like Gary (and a lot of the others said). This 20 days will be long...but once it starts...it will be over before we know it...

On a side note, actually what I mentioned above was the side note, since this entry is supposed to be a st john photo spam. I finally got the CD of photos from jeremy. It's a weird looking at all these photos. It's not just nostalgia...espeically at this point in time...

I mean afterall, I've officially graduated from Hwa Chong (though I still have to go back to school)...my time in Hwa Chong is really really near the end already. It's been almost 6 years, kind of fast isn't it? So looking back at all these photos...makes me feel even more sad that I am going to leave all these behind really soon.

I was looking at edwin tan's facebook photo album, and I saw lots of photos of the old EP3 block, old St John room...all gone....then I look around me now...will the class bench still be there a few years down the road? Will the school still be the same? I better start taking some photos soon...

There are so so many moments throughout my 6 years here that I wished was captured down...like the time during sjab camp where we lie down in front of the clock tower at 12 midnight...or that one time I was at the terraces with my classmates (they were running, while I was lying down at the terraces..looking up at the sky)...or the gazillion times we played bridge at the class bench till 8+ in school before going for dinner....or even the times I spent with yc, meng and terence during recess talking crap even though we were from different classes....

It's this little moments throughout the 6 years that truly made my time here memorable, and it's things like this that I can't bear to part with...

I know it's a really bad time to start reminiscing about the past...but damn...it must be the photos' fault...ooh and grad night. Stupid photos and grad night. I should be mugging!

Anyway...here are the photos from the CD...

St John December Camp 2003

Irvin! And is that Shengjia lying on the floor?? Or is Shengjia the one back facing us?

LOL at this picture. Mingwei's face was clear, terence had bair hair, I still have my lao fu zi specs...and the scary thing is when I showed this to them, we actually remembered what happened. This is the fun triage, and the person we are dragging is You Jun, supposedly the terrorist (capturing the terrorist will gain us more points).

An apple a day keeps the doctor away!

I actually miss doing TOC...haha

Though I definitely don't like tunneling...

Minghao in action while Kai herng is busy posing for the camera. tsk tsk.

I remember this triage, probably the worst ever in my kife, and this clock tower stop was probably the hardest and most screwed up one.

Zone Competition 2004

Lol at this photo again. My classic open-mouth-and-stone expression. Lol at terence's hair too.

Before the comp in school!

Before the comp chilling at the foodcourt in Concorde (spelling?)

Aaron's team doing footdrill...tsk tsk...Aaron never point down his toes...

Mingwei humping the stretcher!

AA in action!

Loading the casualty onto the ambulance..

OMG I remember this case. I don't remember the injuries or what, but I rmb Kai Meng was so fat that it was so hard for me to do the total body checkup (especially checking his back)...

Doing case...short case? Long case? Can't rmb....

National Comp 2004

Saluting to Mr Tan Kah Kee before setting off...

Still saluting...

STILL SALUTING! I think we saluted him 88 times...

But saluting to him 88 times doesn't seem to help...one of our worst footdrill ever...like seriously...look at the arm swing...I remembered it was bad...I just didn't remember it was that bad...

*cringe*

Short case wasn't much better...I couldn't even diagnose major epilepsy...it's like spotting questions for exams..I was hoping this won't come out...and it did...and jeremy assigned me to him...tough luck...

As if the day wasn't bad enough...we had a "novel scenario" (quoted frm mrs foo) for TOC...

TOC without stretcher! How nice of them...

When we thought all hopes were lost...LONG CASE SAVED OUR LIVES! OMG, I still rmb how I was unexpectedly not nervous doing the CPR...

Me doing CPR...

And I even remember to put the casualty into recovery position after that...that is really like one of the best cases we did....

St John June Camp 2004

LOL at Chiawu...& Kai Herng Junior a.k.a Norvin...

Look at the background..that's my squad!! in pumping position..haha

Look at the stuff on the floor..haha..I remember I would practise emptying my bag and putting all the stuff back in within 30 secs at home before the camp....and I would pack my stuff such that it facilitates the emptying & repacking...haha....and we were already sweating like mad before the camp started....

SEH QIN! MUN YUNG! JEREMY!

Notice there is no squad beside the sec 2 (at that time) squad? That's cause we were off to out 12 rounds run at the track in st john uniform for peeping at the camp schedule....

Back from the run & off for triage...

Kai Herng's twin! Norvin! Notice how kai herng also looked like that in sec 1...and how both him and norvin changed drastically in sec 4...bu kui shi twins...

TOC...

The longest tunneling we did I think...at least the floor's relatively cleaner...

Not so clean here...and 2 tunneling in a triage...almost died...

Passing Out Parade 2004

That's me!

NCO 2004-2005 with NCO 2003-2004

Amazing Discovery

2007-10-03T00:53:00.001+08:00

//Amazing Discovery//

While doing complex numbers questions today...I made an amazing discovery.

ln (i) = (0.5 pi) i

In case you don't know...the pi there is refering to 22/7 or 3.141592653....

Try it on your GC now!

Post-Prelims Part I

2007-09-24T22:15:00.000+08:00

//Post-Prelims Part I//

Prelims is over, like last week. Haha.

Got back geepee today. Can't say I'm escstatic over the results, but I guess getting through the essay relatively unscathed is already a reason to celebrate given the insane marking.

Under normal circumstance with humane marking, my essay marks would be considered painfully average, just like my PAE results, "on par with most high-calibre JC students" for all 3 categories, which is a nicer way of saying you are distinctly average and totally not worthy of the scholarship.

But 知足常乐, I shall be happy that at least I passed, since it would probably be one of the few subjects that I can pass (chem and bio..*coughs)

I thought I would be jumping for joy after the last paper on Thursday, but somehow the sense of euphoria is just not there. Don't get me wrong, I'm super glad it's over, but I'm just not overjoyed I guess. Numbing effects of taking so many exams this year.

Immediate post-prelims activities was fun though, and by immediate, I meant the 4 days of non-mugging and pure fun that followed the end of prelims. I did all the stuff that I've been wanting to do since like...god knows when.

Post-prelims school activities, like having revision lectures and remedials till 5 pm is not fun though.

Right after Chem paper 1 on Thursday, I went Malaysia to see my superduper adorable cousin.

He's still as cute as ever, and I think he resembles me a lot, in the sense that he LOVES to eat and he's super 贪吃. I miss him like mad while mugging for prelims, cause when you mug, your mind tends to drift off, so you tend to have more time to think about this kind of stuff.

Friday was a rather eventful day, I actually woke up at 6+ to follow my brother to school in my dad's car, so that I can go for a run at East Coast Park.

It was so painfully obvious that I haven't been exercising for a long time because I started panting like a dog just 1.5 mins into the run. Must be the oxygen debt Mr Terng has been talking about

Oh and I bought my first TOTO in my life. I mean it's 5 million dollar...why not? Actually I didn't intend to buy it in the first place, just so happen this man was selling TOTO at the place we had breakfast, so why not

Friday afternoon was spent at Kbox largely. It felt so good to be actually out there, having some kind of entertainment, rather than painstakingly trying to memorise the Krebs Cycle or some arcane Economics Theory. (click here and scroll down to the second definition, it's funny how they try to explain the meaning of arcane using Economics Theory as an example, how very apt..)

Saturday was spent with meng, cheng and terence. Watched "The Invasion" at AMK Hub, and gosh, AMK Hub is boring. And if you ask me to sum up the movie in 1 word, it would be "vomit"

*spoiler alert*

It's not cause the movie was so bad that it was vomit-inducing or anything like that. It's just that the infected people in the movie happen to spread the virus by vomitting at people directly, or into their drinks, etc.

NO! I'm not joking! It's damn funny, you have to see it to believe it, especially the scene on the train, where vomit was spewing all over the place. Oh, and apparently I would fit in perfectly, because all I have to do to fit in is to stone, cause what the virus does is to remove any emotion from the infected host, rendering them in a stone mode so to speak.

And yea, there are like 1001 loop holes in the plot...1001 unexplained stuff...but at the end of the day, I still got the thrill out of watching the movie, even though it's cheap thrill from seeing Nicole Kidman run from those "aliens". Yet at the same time, I get a good laugh seeing all those vomit flying all over the place.

It's a rare 2 in 1 package. I think this movie should be classify as a "Horror Comedy".

*end spoiler*

Ok, I don't usually do this, but I'm so tired now...I decided to continue this tomorrow...check this space for updates

Career Options

2007-09-19T11:34:00.000+08:00

//Career Options//

I am bored. So I decided to take this from Edmund's blog.

1. Go to Career Cruising, http://www.careercruising.com/
2. Put in Username: nycareers and Password: landmark.
3. Take their "Career Matchmaker" questions.
4. Post the top twenty results.
5. Put the careers you have seriously considered/would find interesting in bold.
6. Put the careers that make you think "WTF" in italics/underline.

1. Recreation Therapist
2. Art / Music Therapist
3. Motivational Speaker
4. Clergy
5. Dietitian
6. Special Effects Technician
7. Actor
8. Gerontologist
9. Dental Assistant
10. Child and Youth Worker
11. Cosmetologist
12. Family Practitioner
13. Flight Attendant
14. Hairstylist
15. Esthetician
16. Physician Assistant
17. Addictions Counselor
18. Makeup Artist
19. Set Designer
20. Cook

Makeup artist? I can't even do simple casualty simulations for St John last time.

Motivational speaker third? HAHAHA.

MAF07

2007-09-16T22:27:00.000+08:00

//MAF07//

Pretty lights. Picture koped from some senior's blog...

It was a fun night. Probably the last time as a student of hwachong, we zi high singing those songs that we never seem to knew and dancing the mass dance that only the councillors remember the steps.

On a sidenote, it's super weird seeing all these NY girls coming for MAF. And bring more sparklers next year to form the "71" that we failed to form this year.

Sleep

2007-09-08T16:16:00.000+08:00

//Sleep//

The thing I look forward to the most after prelims is a good night sleep, for real.

No more weird dreams please.

My mind deserves a break.

Briana Carpenter

2007-08-29T22:52:00.000+08:00

//Briana Carpenter//

I think I found my favourite idol on Australian Idol this year, especially after a very disappointing year of Canadian Idol.

Apart from her slightly weird looks, I loved her audition and I loved her semi finals performance. Hope she gets through tomorrow to the finals.

Reminiscence

2007-08-19T23:02:00.000+08:00

//Reminiscence//

For some unknown reason, I decided to look through my Taiwan immersion photos again...and it brought back so much memories...

I think it's the whole prelim thing...that made me kind of nutty nowadays...random thoughts keep popping into my head, which is very very irritating especially when I try to mug...it's like my brain have this "immune" system against mugging, everytime I try to mug, my brain will trigger off this mechanism and all the random things will start popping out to distract me to prevent me from mugging...

Even what I just typed was random...but back to the topic...I realised I never really posted about what happened during the trip...so I finally decided to post some interesting photos...they are in chronological order by the way...I guess this photo entry made up for it...at least when I look back at my archives in the future...I will be thoroughly reminded of TIP 2006.

And please scroll down to read the entry before this...about the songwriting competition and vote if you haven't! Thanks!

It was their election at that when we went...look at all the flags...

007!

The st john in me couldn't resist taking this photo

Fabulous barbequed mushroom!

Ice-cream + peanut

小笼包 + 锅贴 from one of the 便利商店, can't remember which one.

It's during times of mugging like now that I really really miss those times in Taiwan. That's us eating outside the 便利商店 at 2 a.m in the morning, after we kena ostracised by the person inside...haha

I love 背影 photos...

Interesting stone found by Koonyu at 七星潭

Hilarous translation...

Isn't this so cute??!!

The bus services there are very messy...from colours to numbers...I even took a bus called 小S before...

成品书店！张惠妹 shoot part of her "我要快乐" MV in front of this building.

Funny quote I saw in one of the cuibicles in the toilet of the bookshop.

And this is written by ME! Though it's not like super nice, it's still quite unbelievable given it's me...

And of course, how can you not eat 臭豆腐 when you are in Taiwan?

Another MV was shot here, 孙燕姿's "我要的幸福". (This is 莺歌by the way)

Interesting concept isn't it, I still have the cup with me.

Everywhere you go, you see students! They are either loitering around after school (which ends at 5pm), or they are rushing home after tuition at 10pm.

The recording of 我猜我猜我猜猜猜

Snorlex! Reminds me of mitchell...

多喝水！

六福村！

Another funny translation...

This also needs parking?

Long John Silver!

Singapore Food! Which of course I didn't eat.

English lessons.

One of their two 福利社，something like our welfare room I guess.

And they sell all sorts of 奶茶！

Someone came up with this crazy theory that as long as we imagine we are holding on to a pole, we would not fall, and we tested it out in a crowded train...ji malu...

The lengendary 士林夜市！

The REAL 大鸡排！

FRIED Ice cream...

BIG BIG sausages...

棺材板！Which is super nice...

Crispy on the outside and creamy inside...

A sausage inside a sausage? Actually not, it's actually sausage wrapped in glutinous rice.

This is for you 大炳哥！

Ice cream again...

Sleeping during lessons...

And this is called sleeping right under the teacher's nose.

A water cooler in every class....

Sleeping during PE lesson...

And sleep again during Maths...and OMG...I am so tramautised by maths...

Cooking lessons!

Fried 汤圆! It looks ugly, but it actually taste quite nice...

The process of frying...

Organic Chemistry lesson...IN CHINESE!

Mister Donut!

With such a wide variety of donuts...there are actually much more..that my cam didn't manage to capture...

Home sweet home!

The living room...

The stairs leading upstairs, and down to the basement...

The guest room...which is for me...

Ooh...and it was 马英九's last day as 台北市长...

满载而归！I went with 2 bags (1 luggage and 1 handcarry) and came back with 6!

Song Writing

2007-08-19T09:28:00.000+08:00

//Song Writing//

This is an advert for my sis.

Apparently she participated in this song writing competition recently...which requires voting. Or rather, there's this award for the most popular/best rated song, apart from all the professionally judged awards.

Her song title is: 幸福是

You have to log in to vote though. For more information, click here. Just a note, the recording of the song is quite noob, so just get over that part and try to listen to the song itself and lyrics, + you are not judging her singing too.

Even if you don't want to vote, or don't feel like listening to her song, you can still visit the site, and maybe submit some lyrics (and wait for others to compose the melody for you) or even a song if you want, the procedure seems quite simple.

Customer Service

2007-08-10T19:29:00.000+08:00

//Customer Service//

I know it's partially my fault too, but this does not take away my right to be pissed.

I'm appalled by the attitude of that salesperson.

But I'm even more disgusted by her lack of integrity.

I shall try to control my anger, and not let it spill all over this entry. Here are some tips for people who want to go exchange defective goods from a shop:

1) Forget the fact that it's partially your fault for not checking well enough before buying. Keep telling yourself "It's their fault. It's not my fault." Because if you go in feeling like it's partially your fault, chances are you will give up the moment they say no.

2) Be firm and polite. You are not there to pick a fight, nor are you there to beg them to change it for you. Settle it as peacefully as possible.

3) Do not get defensive. Remember it is not your fault, you do not need to defend yourself.

4) Go in at a time where they are a lot of customers, so as to add on to their pressure.

5) If they tried to get defensive and get loud, be louder than them. Here is the perfect opportunity for you to gain the upper hand. You have nothing to lose, they have everything to lose, they will not risk quarelling with you in the public. So the louder you are, the more pressurised it will be for them, espeically when there are a lot of customers. (note: remember do not get loud unless they started it)

6) If they insist on not changing for you, INSIST that they change for you, the longer you drag it, the higher the possibility that they will do something about it.

7) Strength in numbers. Go with as many people as possible. The sheer number of people will be enough of a pressure.

8) If the manager/staff don't speak English very well, use cheem language to confuse them.

9) If it still don't work, act very pissed. Question the integrity of the staff. Question the quality of the products. Question the quality of their service.

10) If all else fails, thank them politely, and before leaving, say something like "Thanks for your superb service and your wonderful product, I'm sure the company will prosper with quality staff like you. You've been VERY GREATLY helpful." or you can say something like "Can I know your name please, I just want to send a letter of commendation to your boss for being so helpful and to comment on the superb products of your company."

Childhood Memories

2007-08-06T23:00:00.000+08:00

//Childhood Memories//

There's kind of a "autograph-book" thing going on in the class right now...with like a few more months with each other...

And while writing everlyn's autograph book...I was suddenly remembered that I kept one myself in primary school too! So I went to dig for it...and I got more than I asked for.

I found the autograph book I kept in P6, the one I kept in P3, and a personal diary I kept in 1998 (primary 3).

It's like taking a trip down memory lane reading all these TOTALLY. I mean some of these are written almost 10 years ago. It's surreal.

So I started with the P3 one, I look at all the entries, and I cannot remember almost all of them. All the names look so foreign and I even feel weird pronouncing them. That was my life almost 10 years ago, and I couldn't remember most of the people in my life at that time already.

Atrocious handwriting aside, there's all these atrocious poems inside! Eg:

Girls are rotten
Made of cotton
Taste like mutton
Act like chicken

Birds fly high, hard to catch.
Don't be stupid use a net.

笑口常开，笑死活该。

These aside, it's interesting to see how almost everyone will have a friendship corner, ranking or grouping all their friends into "Best friends", "Good friends" and so on...and the most important thing is most people actually have a enemy list too. I guess being kids, we couldn't care less that the people we hated knew we hated them...it's just written there for all to see.

Then I moved on to the P6 one, fortunately this time round I still remember everyone that wrote inside.

No more corny poems, but the friendship corner stays. No more enemy list though. It's kind of telling isn't it, as we move on and mature from 9 years old to 12 years old, we are no longer comfortable with laying it all out for all to see: "These are the people I hate". We start to get more...diplomatic to put it in a nice way. More guarded with our feelings. Part and parcel of growing up I guess.

Another thing that really caught my attention is how almost everyone ended with "Let's keep in contact!" kind of statements. Obviously we can all see how things turned out. No one's fault that we didn't keep in contact. It just made me very particular and careful about using those words. I didn't be one of the many that write that but don't even make an effort to do it. Which is why I think I've been rather honest and open with my thoughts in writing the auto graph books now. No more "let's keep in touch!" or "let's hope we remember each other after 10 years" crap, unless I really feel like I want to do it.

Then I went to look at my diary, which I kept in 1998 when I was primary 3. If I'm not wrong, that little book was a gift from a teacher or something, and I didn't know what to do with it, so I decided to use it as a diary, and I did write in it every single day from 26th May 1998 to 18th September 1998.

I couldn't stop laughing reading it.

Apparently, halfway through, I grew tired of writing diaries, and regretted starting it in the first place, but me being me, didn't want to 半途而废, so I continued, reluctantly. I had that much determination then. I'm impressed with myself.

And what really kept me laughing is my level of "maturity" then, and more importantly, my "profiency" in both languages, that apparently I'm still damn zai in now. Example:

"Today, I had go to received my report book. I felt very happy when I saw that my total marks was 285. I also got first in class. I will work harder so that I can get a higher total marks next year."

"今天，我有一个好消息。我最喜欢的老师Miss Kong绝定留下来了。"

It's just hilarous. Period.

Looking at the writing, it's like a totally different person lived that life 10 years ago. I actually feel old. It made me wonder how did the process of growing up change me and shape me into who I am now.

For the better or for the worse? I don't know.

That's just growing up.

10 years later I will look back at this entry, and wonder the same thing too I guess.

The only constant is change. How true. (oh, and my "powerful" language skills never change too)

Nothing

2007-08-01T17:26:00.000+08:00

//Nothing//

Nothing unsual
Nothing strange
Close to nothing at all
-Damien Rice (Amie)

Did I use that title before? I think I did.

It's 8.24 am now. And no, I did not pon shcool. I'm writing this in the Bio lab, while with the word "recombinant DNA technology" constantly being mentioned in the background. I am just not in a Bio mood now, and I actually have one of those rare impulses to pen down my thoughts, so I better grab it before I lose it, so here I am, writing on a piece of foolscape.

You know after a year or so of blogging, I came to realise that I really do enjoy writing a lot, not in a literature short story kind of way though. There are always lots of random thoughts running through my mind, the only problem is, I just don't write very well at all. It always gets very frustrating when I'm blogging, because more often than not, I find myself sitting in front of the computer staring at the screen, stucked, not knowing how to continue from what I started. I just can't put my thoughts down in words properly. Lack of talent in writing I guess, just like my lack of talen t in a lot of areas, like jumping for instance.

Speaking of which, I am extremely frustrated. And yes, I am very much affected and bothered by it. It's always somewhere lurking at the back of my mind, and to be honest, I actually wished it's over already. No more second, third chances, I am perfectly fine to take it as it is. Not that I'm happy or satisfied with it, I'm just at this stage where I'm tired of being constantly reminded of it and bugged by the very thought of it, so much so that I'm willing to accept the fact that I just can't do it.

Mentally, I have already given up to a certain extent, and it makes me feel happier actually. It's like you would feel much happier if you walk into a test, fully expected and prepared to fail and to face the subsequent consquences. Afterall, it's just 4 more weeks, I will just complain about it when the times comes. Yea, that's so typical of me. But regardless of how I feel, I don't really have a choice, and I will have to give it a try again in 2 weeks time. So...oh well.

Lately, I have been feeling like a zombie in school, today in particular. A total lack of any sleep is not really helping either. I feel like a bunch of nothingness floating around sometimes, and I'm pretty sure it's not from the stress of the impending doom a.k.a prelims or any like that.

It's just the daily mundane routine of everyday life that is eating away at me. I can't stand the fact that I'm going home everyday at 1+ or 2+, yet I don't feel like there's anything keeping me in school either.

For some reason, and maybe lots of different factors, I feel kind of distant from most people in the class, and I just feel like isolating myself more, like I close my heart or something (hmm..I think that sounds too melodramatic..) Yet at the same time, I crave for solitude even more than I do usually. It's almost like I am getting used to the feeling of being alone that I'm starting to enjoy it. Oh well, it's just one of those feelings that I just can't put down in words though I wished I could.

The same old scenario
The same old rain
And there's no explosion here

- Damien Rice (Amie)

What I can say though, is I'm not depressed, I'm not upset, I'm not pissed, it's just nothing. Like really nothing. Nothing major happened, no strong emotions, indifferent to things happening around me, and it's actually quite scary. Can you imagine like there's a void in your mind, or your soul, like you are there, but not there?

Maybe that's why I had a "Brothers & Sisters" marathon last night. 9 episodes in a row, resulting in no sleep at all, and a really crappy day in school. But watching shows like this that is so full of emotion, sort of fills the gap in me. I feel happy when they are happy, and really agitated when they argue, they take me on this emotional roller coaster ride with them. It's a great feeling actually, to be able to feel.

It became like an addiction for me this past week, watching a couple of episodes every night, and 9 in a row last night, because for that 40 minutes or so for each episode, I don't need to think at all, I just sit there and feel. No wonder they say media serves as an outlet of escapism. It's a damn good one.

That's why after the 6+ hour marathon, it's hard to withdraw from it, cause I'm so drawn in. I find myself thinking about it even now, even though it's DNA DNA now at the moment.

I wonder how I'm going to live without it tonight.

I wanna get away from here. To some far far nice nice place.

Who wouldn't?

Anniversary

2007-07-29T23:02:00.000+08:00

//Anniversary//

1 year ago on this day, we first met our buddies at RELC for Taiwan Immersion Programme. I remember the anticipation, the excitement and of course I remember I was late for the event (as usual).

This is the only photo I can find with both me and my buddy on this very day 1 year ago. That was when we went Lau Pa Sat after the xiang jian huan.

2 years ago, also on this day, we passed on the duties of a NCO to our juniors in St John. I remember I felt relief and sad at the same time, and I also remember the first stayover we had at jiexun's house, which I fell asleep at 10pm watching the movie minghao brought.

I think this is the exco. Hmm..notice who is standing in the middle.

Mingwei is flying.

And so am I. Haha.

Happy 1 year and 2 year anniversary people.

Brothers & Sisters

2007-07-24T21:59:00.000+08:00

//Brothers & Sisters//

Been watching this show "Brothers & Sisters" recently...4 episodes only actually...

It's actually kind of entertaining, and quite different from the shows I usually watch...

I was looking at the list of shows I watch...I enjoyed watching "Charmed" because of all the magic elements in it and "Heroes" because of all the superhero powers and stuff. "Stargate Atlantis" got this cool science fic vibe to it, which I really enjoyed thought the storyline itself gets pretty weak sometimes.

I was absolutely hooked to "Lost" because of the overlying mystery that the writers laid out since season 1...and it's just intriguing to watch, with all the character connections and stuff, it's really a well-thought out show, and it's always exciting to see the mystery unfolds slowly.

"Ugly Betty" and "Desperate Housewives" are kind of there to balance out the rest of the show, cause of the humour, and "Desperate Housewives" actually had a cool overarching mystery throughout season 1, which unfortunately failed to carry over to the subsequent seasons.

Granted most of these shows have amazing character development for the cast (Lost in particular)...the thing that gets me really hooked to the shows isn't the storylines that revolve around the character, it's always something else, like the mystery and so on...

But "Brothers & Sisters" is different I realised. For me, it's truly a series about the characters. The characters are really 3 dimensional, and definitely more real than most of the characters in other shows.

What's cool is I actually find the characters irritating and unbearable at some point or another. I guess that's what makes them real. And it's funny watching the siblings fighting with each other, cause it kind of reminds me of my relationship with my bro and sis. Kind of a love-hate relationship.

They may be literally at each other's necks at one point in the episode, but when something happens later on, they will be there for each other. The tension from the fight and so on are still there, but it transceds that.

It's like I can be waging war with my brother over cabinet spaces, but it doesn't mean I am overjoyed by his crap results or that I would wish that the comp that he organised would fail...actually my relationship with my brother is very much like Tommy and Justin's relationship in the show, and my relationship with my sis is like Kevin and Sarah's.

Haha, shan't elaborate too much, I know they are reading.

Ridiculous

2007-07-12T16:30:00.000+08:00

//Ridiculous//

Sometimes some things can get so ridiculous that I wonder if I should feel pissed or if I should just laugh at it.

From rat to mario to holy, things can be that ridiculous.

World class instituition?

World class joke maybe.

我期待

2007-07-09T21:44:00.000+08:00

//我期待//

Barium carbonate was in the test tube.

The test tube was being heated by the bunsen burner.
I was talking.

I felt like tears were welling up in my eyes. Was it the heat from the bunsen flame?

The test tube was still being heated by the bunsen burner.

I continued talking.

And the test tube cracked.

"My squad really deserves the BEST squad of the century award! Bonded as we are, somehow after these 2 years we haven't really passed out as sjab officers. Jeremy & Wenxuan are still the dedicated trainers in SJAB, & really can see the effort put into grooming the jnrs, esp jeremy! Really love the times our squad could sit and talk abt anything under the sun. Every SJAB camp was a gathering time for us, & the memories just kinda return back whenever I visit the juniors along with my squadmates. Maybe we've outlived our stay, as all the juniors in our NCO days gradually pass out from SJAB... but we'd forever the the one & only 2005 batch of ZAI NCOS!!!" - aaron chua

Put the test tube in the fire for too long and this is what happened. I shall not become the test tube. After what happened during the june hols...I realised it's really time to move on...

"People in the corps come and leave, it keeps changing, but your squadmates never change, they are always there for you." - pauline a.k.a my sai gung chem lab partner

thanks for doing almost everything today in the chem lab while i emo...haha...i shld feel depressed more...then don't need do prac liaoz...

Say goodbye
Say goodbye
昂首阔步
不留一丝遗憾
- 张雨生 (我期待)

Best CPR

2007-07-08T21:36:00.000+08:00

//Best CPR//

I remember 3 years ago, after nat comp, jeremy was complaining to me that he missed the best leader by 2 marks. The best leader (from zone 8) got 31 marks, and he got 29. Just as a number 1 would look at his leader score, I would naturally look at the CPR score, since number 3 is usually in charge of CPR.

The person with best CPR (from zone 8 too) got 44. 2 person tied for second place with a score of 40. I got 39.5, coming in third (or fourth, depending on how you look at it).

Even though my score wasn't really fantastic, I was actually quite proud of it at that time, cause I never really think I am good in CPR at all...it was just something I had to do since I was the number 3, so being 0.5 marks away from being 2nd was a great deal for me.

Best CPR wasn't something I was actively trying to get when preparing for competition, I was more concerned with overall performance, trying to get at least a top 3 position and best footdrill, which was a huge thing for us at that time, considering we haven't done well in Nat comp at all since I joined st john in sec 1.

But after looking at the scores of the CPR and I remember looking at the trophies in St John room and I saw this Best CPR trophy, I was determined to make sure that we will win that best CPR the following year, just like how jeremy really wanted the next batch to win the best leader.

To a very large extent, I wanted to help the juniors win something that I couldn't win it myself. It's kind of a mentality that even though I am not good enough to win it, at least I trained someone good enough to win it.

Unfortunately it didn't happen.

They made up for it by winning lots of other stuff though.

The batch after that (last year), which wasn't trained by me didn't manage to get the best CPR too.

Come this year, I wasn't really expecting much anymore, afterall, it's like a long lost dream for me..haha. But still, when they are announcing the results for CPR, I am still very much hoping for the emcee to announce "Zone 7".

Thank you yufan and whoever it is that trained the teams CPR, for finally making this a dream a reality.

Just heard that Wei Sheng did really well for CPR too! He got third! :) And he wasn't even the one supposed to do CPR...really proud of him.

Even though I didn't train the teams for CPR, it still ROCKS to see that Hwachong finally won that best CPR. Its marks probably didn't have a very very big impact on the overall results, but it's kind of a pride thing for me.

Being the person to do CPR for my team, and being forced by jer to judge CPR for all mock comps, I kind of grew to like it I guess. I still suck at CPR, I probably can't give a very positive demo of a good CPR, but I am still very critical of people doing CPR, I still want my juniors to do well in CPR.

I am just so glad that I get to see this trophy before I graduated from Hwa Chong.

I am not taking anything away from any other stuff that they won, cause it's equally hard too, but it's just this shuang dao lan feeling...woots!

Anyway...congrats to AC and AA! The trainers did a fantastic job too...

AC:
2nd in Footdrill
2nd in Long Case
2nd in Short Case
Overall 2nd!

AA:
Best Leader
Best Long Case
Best CPR
2nd in TOC
Overall CHAMPION!

to jeremy: you can finally sleep without having nightmares about nat comp anymore...haha..

End

2007-07-06T01:07:00.000+08:00

//End//

This Sunday shall be the last time.

Last time I ever go for a tkd grading...unless I ever find the motivation in me to pick it up in the future...though I doubt so. Kind of relieved that it's the last grading for me actually, kind of regretted going for this grading in the first place, but I guess it's a bit too late to regret now, shall do my best on Sun anyway...probably to compensate for my performance during comp...

Last time I ever go down to support National Comp...I think it's about time I move on...st john gave me lots and lots of fond memories...but I can't keep clinging on the the past..clinging on the things like comp team trainings and stuff...MOVE ON!

I probably wouldn't get the chance to go next year to support anyway cause of NS...and a few years down the road...I guess I wouldn't even be able to recognise the juniors...

i would cling on tight to my squadmates tho. haha. esp yc...for the sake of durians. haha.

平淡

2007-06-30T16:38:00.001+08:00

//平淡//

BT 完了。

Literally and figuratively.

这三个星期来，我的生活只可以用平淡来形容。

但其实平淡也没什么不好啦。平淡中的精彩反而更精彩。

Watched a movie called "Zodiac" during the holidays. Although I wasn't exactly thrilled or super excited about it, I wasn't hating it like my friends were. In fact, I was actually quite pleasantly surprised by it.

It's based on a true story, about a series of murders conducted by a guy who called himself "Zodiac" in US in the 1960s and 70s.

Reading the synopsis, I was expecting a thriller, with a clever plot that is full of twists and turns (like The Prestige). And it turned out quite the oppsite.

The narration was quite "one note", or like what our Chinese teacher used to say, 流水帐. There wasn't much twists and turns to the story like I thought there would be. And most importantly, there was no resolution in the end. The murderer was not found.

And usually I would feel very let down by a movie like that, but surprisely, I didn't felt that way. I actually felt that the simple narration, and lack of contrived twists and turns helped to make the story much more believable and real. Instead of feeling like I'm watching a movie, I actually felt like I was a bystander, witnessing the whole event unfold in front of me.

The narration may not be very exciting, but I think the story itself, for me, is intriguing enough. He allowed the story to be told in the most direct and honest manner, and I appreciate that because it prevented the movie from becoming one of the many Hollywood thrillers.

I may not be kept at the edge of my seat throughout the movie, but like I mentioned, I actually felt like I was living in that time, watching this drama unfold (that spanned over 4 decades) in just 2+ hours, and the movie showed a lot of real aspects of real life investigaton, like how inefficient the US police can be, especially since this case span over a few states.

The lack of a definite resolution in the end was kind of disappointing at first, but since the fact is the real murderer was never really truly found, I can understand why the director end the movie on that note. However, watching the process of how the police and that cartoonist try to crack the case is interesting enough for me already, as cheesy and cliche as it sounds, it's not always the end that counts, it's the process.

So the movie is just like what I said, 平淡也可以很精彩。

最近迷上了陈绮贞和Jack Johnson 的歌。

他们的歌曲都有一个共同点，就是都很简单，很舒服。

特别喜欢陈绮贞声音。虽然她没有很华丽的外表或是很绚丽的歌声，但她就是简单，很诚恳地把每一首歌唱好，听起来有一种 "我只唱给你听" 的感觉，就是会让人感动。她也不用复杂的编曲，不卖弄技巧，就是一把吉他，一份诚恳，让我们陶醉在她的歌曲中。

这里的景色像你变幻莫测
这样的午后我坐在九份的马路边
这里的空气很新鲜
这里的感觉很特别
- 陈绮贞 (九份的咖啡店）

其中，我对这首“九份的咖啡店”特别有感觉，可能是它让我想起去年去台湾的点点滴滴吧，特别是让我回味起在九份那短短的半天。

望着朦胧的海岸线
是否还能回到从前
- 陈绮贞 (九份的咖啡店）

It's kind of sad listening to those 2 lines, and looking at this picture at the same time, it's taken in 九份 by the way.

我的心是一杯调和过的咖啡
怀念着往日淡薄的青草味
- 陈绮贞 (九份的咖啡店）

最喜欢歌曲里这两句歌词，也没什么特别的原因，可能就让我感同身受吧，用两句简单的歌词，就能把我心中的感受很直接易懂地表达出来。

Jack Jackson is similar in the sense that his lyrics are simple, yet it's so true, and sometimes it really reflects what I feel perfectly...it's not really fanciful, and it may even appear blatently obvious and retarded to some...but its simpleness just hits me...

And there has always been laughing, crying, birth, and dying
Boys and girls with hearts that take and give and break
And heal and grow and recreate and raise and nurture
But then hurt from time to time like these
And times like those
And what will be will be
And so it goes
And it always goes on and on...
On and on it goes
- Jack Johnson (Times Like These)

What will be will be, and so it goes...my facourite lines...I know it sounds a bit like fatalism that we studied last time, fate decides our life, etc...but you know there are always moments and times in life that we would feel like everything is beyond our control...what will be will just be...

I think that's largely how I see life in general...not that I feel like I have no control over my life or whatsoever, but just that I just like to take it easy...I don't like to live in the present frantically trying to plan for my future...like what I wanna be in the future...I know it's bad but that's just me...when the time comes...i will just deal with it...

And there's a part of me that really craves this certain "平淡"ness in my life...i don't need like exciting stuff to happen, just a good book or a good movie, or even chatting with friends, having a good lunch will make my day, just find me something simple to pass time, and I'll be happy...

Like today...spent an hour plus at this CD shop at Taka B2...listening to lots of different songs...I really love that feeling..putting on those headphones, and immersing myself in the music, it's almost like I don't really notice what's going on around me anymore....

A good lucnch with classmates followed by spending some time at Kino looking at random books, was a nice feeling too...it's like we don't need to always go out to watch movie and stuff...I enjoy this kind of moments as much as anything else too...

Milkrun...well..it's just running...but still I enjoyed it...these times spent with classmates...especially when I know there's not much time left for us as a class...

Ok...离题了...I think this entry is rather fragmented...and incoherent...but oh well..that's me...full of incoherent and random thoughts in my mind...shall end here...

I hope this old train breaks down
Then I could take a walk around
And, see what there is to see
And time is just a melody
-Jack Johnson (Breakdown)

The Effects Of Block Test

2007-06-25T19:16:00.000+08:00

//The Effects Of Block Test//

If this is what block test can do, imagine what my high score will be during A lvl period.

Maths

2007-06-16T21:17:00.000+08:00

//Maths//

I need help!

Ken had $20 more than Mingli at first. After Ken had given 1/5 of his money to Mingli, Mingli had $64. How much did Mingli have at first?

Three girls shared a sum of money. Cathy received $180 more than Betty. The total amount Betty and Cathy received was 3 times the amount Alice received. The amount Alice and Cathy received was 5 times the amount Betty received. What was the sum of money shared by the 3 girls?

Someone help me! I am able to solve both questions, but in both, I used simultaneous equation! Anyone who knows how to solve these 2 questions in such a way that a P5 students can understand, tell me!

十八岁的第二天

2007-06-09T17:48:00.001+08:00

//十八岁的第二天//

Remember I mentioned that my buddy said that he will be sending a gift over from Taiwan?? He even mentioned in the message on the jigsaw puzzle that "我要送给你你最爱的生日礼物"...and I received it yesterday!

My brother got the package while I was bathing...look at the stamps!

Filled with anticipation...I brought the package to my room, it's not very heavy by the way...0.9kg....

And I ripped open the packaging and saw this box!! I ripped the box open too... and when I open the box...I saw....

MY FAVOURITE TIDBITS FROM TAIWAN!

I took out those first 2 packets and saw 2 other types...

And I saw 3 more packets!!! Haha...I was so so so so excited! Cause I actually bought 1 packet from Taiwan myself when I went in Dec last year, but I still haven't eaten it yet cause I can't bear to open it...now I got like 5 packets!

So I lined them up with my bear (which is still yet to be named! BB? Last time my blue BB is baby bear..maybe this BB is BIG bear! ahahha) and took a photograph! The bear looks so 幸福 right??

Another birthday gift that I got...from mann ying...

AND THIS! I can't believe terence, meng and cheng (well, technically meng and terence chose it) bought me this! UNBELIEVABLE! And it doesn't even have a compactment for me to put coins!

What were they thinking! I can't say I love it...but I shall use it since it's from them...fortunately..they bought me a shirt too...haha..may be to offset my disappointment???

Not a very productive week for me in terms of mugging...too lazy and unmotivated...Shall TRY to work harder!

十八岁的第一天

2007-06-07T22:23:00.000+08:00

//十八岁的第一天//

I was just thinking about what the title of this entry should be when my sister said this.

First day of being 18. Actually it feels the same.

17. 18. 17 sounds young, 18 sounds old. Therein lies the difference I guess. I wonder how ancient I will feel by the time I hit 20 or 21.

I am legally 18, legally able to do a lot more things, but at the same time, I feel like being 18 means that I am no longer entitled to a lot of things to some extent.

It's a weird feeling, to know that I not realy a teenager anymore, not a kid, yet I'm not really adult too. Haha, I feel like this entry is going no where.

It's been a really really nice birthday this year. Not as in just today itself, but over the last couple of days as well.

It's really a nice feeling when people just do something out of a sudden, something that you weren't expecting at all, something really sweet and nice, or to sum it up, a pleasant surprise.

I got a pleasant surprise when I went out with TIP-pers on Monday when they suddenly sang me a birthday song, or rather they dian-ed this ultra long birthday song in KBox. Haha, it really made my day, cause I was totally not expecting it. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside..haha..I guess it's simple yet sweet gestures like this that really made me feel blessed.

Got another pleasant surprise that night when jer wished me happy birthday in advance. Maybe cause I wasn't really expecting birthday greetings this early. It really put a smile on my face, espeically at that time when I'm having a really bad night trying to do Series and Sequence.

Got yet another surprise on Tue when I received the jigsaw puzzle from my buddy from Taiwan. He bought this small jigsaw puzzle thing which he wrote on, and sent it all the way from Taiwan to me, and I have to fix the jigsaw puzzle to write his birthday greeting, and supposedly he will be sending a gift over soon...haha. It's really sweeeeet...

Got the big big teddy bear (yet to be named) from the class and a small little bear hp holder from mann ying on Wed. It's kind of funny to be receiving the first teddy bear of my life for my 18th birthday when I am supposed to grow out of the "cuddle-teddy-bear" phase of my life. It looks really very cuddly though...oooh..and I got this ultra lame CD..haha..I shan't mention much about it here..haha...but it's really funny...really sweet...thanks to all those who "participated" in the production of this CD, especially the act cute "te bie lai bin" and everlyn who compiled it...

It was H4 outing today, nice company for a day like this...watched Zodiac (which I am so going to write a review for)...it's just a simple nice happy day for me...

When I got home, the first thing I checked was the fridge, and lo and behold, the cake was there! Haha...every year I would tell my mum to stop buying cake for next year but every year she will still go ahead and buy it...but it's much better this year, at least no more birthday songs or birthday wishes...but still I really appreciate it, like I mentioned the umpteen times, it's really sweet...

Thanks to everyone who sent me greetings, be it on msn, through sms, friendster or in person.

And just as I post this, my birthday is over.

it's a sweet sweet birthday, happy and contented i am.